From: Melvin Harry Pollack 
Date: Fri, 4 Apr 1997 16:00:28 -0500 (EST)
Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE:  They're coming to take me away, ho ho....

NRPG:
	5 ASR - related messages in 6 days?  You guys MUST be getting
tired of my voice by now....
	One other quick thing for now - I'm going to stop putting the
titles of crazy songs in my subject post.  No particular reason why; I'm
just running out of song titles.
And now, on with the show....
Scene:  XO office
MD 4.1300
	th'Tellan looked impassively at the first officer, studying him.
He didn't need to study Brennan too closely, the look on his face made it
pretty apparent.  It was a look designed to produce fear and communicate
that th'Tellan had done something wrong.  It seemed that all commanding
officers had that look, and th'Tellan began to wonder if he actually had
to practice it.
	"Mr th'Tellan, I don't usually like calling in an officer, but I
feel that your conduct needs to be discussed.  I've gotten a few
complaints about your somewhat lack of a good nature.  Does this surprise
you?"
	"Yes sir, it does.  I thought that there would be more complaints
by now.  I guess I'm a little rusty."
	Brennan shot th'Tellan a look that made him lose his Vulcanlike
composure and shrink a little.  Quickly, he recovered, trying not to show
his nervousness.  th'Tellan thought back to the time in Starfleet Academy
when the head brought him in for fights.  In that instance, the
administrator told th'Tellan that he should seriously consider his future.
Later, the administrator threatened to throw th'Tellan out the window.
th'Tellan began to realize that this meeting probably wouldn't go as well.
	"We've got complaints from various department members saying that
you insulted them.  The most recent seemed to involve the final officers
to come on board."  Brennan stopped to scan the message.  "It says that
you took one of the officers aside and managed to insult every single
officer on the ship.    Out of curiosity, how did you manage to
get enough material to insult everyone?  As far as I know, you haven't
even MET all of the officers."
	"I don't suppose you'll believe I read it in Reader's Digest.
  I didn't think so.  Well, basically, I've learned to keep an ear
tuned to the rumor mill.  You know, like a maintenance worker happens to
see the doctor upset, and compares notes with three other people who saw
the same thing.  Or a civil engineer happens to be checking a hallway when
he sees the CSO being dragged through the halls.  Things like that.
Anyway, I combine that with their public records and with personal
observations, and I get a decent initial sketch of the personality.  Of
course, it's hardly a science, so the accuracy could be less than...."
	"I'm not interested in the accuracy.  The point is that you're not
supposed to be attacking your officers like that.  In a related note, it
seems that you insulted the doctor.  Would you care to explain?"
	"Well, they keep sending me these messages to go to some checkup,
and I've got all this work that has to be done before then, so I guess
that when she called me up to request it, well....  remember, I've been
under a lot of stress, lately.... well, I may have said something that
could have...."
	"According to this, your exact words were 'Come and make me, you
big wuss.'"
	"And I suppose she could have taken that the wrong way...."
{Melvin, be nice.}
	I am being nice.  I'm just giving context....  Hey, wait a minute.
Who are you?
{I'm your new editor.  I've been assigned to make sure that you don't go
over the edge.}
	Editor?  What do I need an editor for?
{Obviously, to save you from writing those obnoxious posts, stupid.
Didn't anyone ever teach you not to insult anyone, you four - eyed,
ungroomed imbecile.}
	Hey, who are you calling ungroomed.  All right, you want to edit,
go ahead and edit.  Have a ball.  Now, where was I?  Oh, yeah....
	Brennan placed his pad down and looked at th'Tellan.  "This isn't
my only complaint.  I've got reports of other unprofessional behavior.
Playing solitaire on bridge shifts.  Sabotoging your own psychological
exam.  Things like that.  But the insults are also a major problem...."
	"I'm just pointing out certain deficiencies we have.  I don't know
if you've noticed, but we seem to have attracted some of the finest nuts
in Starfleet...."
{We would like to make it clear that this comment is th'Tellans opinion,
and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author, or myself.}
	Er, thanks.
{No problem.}
	"Yes, I've noticed that we have some unusual people on this ship,"
Brennan replied.  "I'm talking to one right now.  But you have to
understand that, even if these behaviors have to be changed, your behavior
is only making the situation on this ship worse.  I think that you could
be a little more honorable about your relationships...."
	th'Tellan stood up a look of anger on his face.  Almost as
instantly, he sat back down an regained his composure.  Brennan couldn't
fathom what was going on in th'Tellan's head, but a nerve must have been
struck.
	"Look, th'Tellan, the fact of the matter is that you're not a
science officer anymore, and you're not on a starship filled with
testosterone - crazed jocks.  You're part of the command structure,
literally two heartbeats away from being the captain, and it's about time
you started acting like it.  It's also about time that you realized that
your words hurt certain people, and that's one thing that this ship does
not need.  Do you understand?"
	th'Tellan nodded, a sad look on his face.  "You're saying that I
inadvertently caused some people to lose their honor.  I'm sorry.  I want
you to know that I will do anything I can to rectify the situation."
	"Well, I'm glad to hear that.  And I'm glad that you have
decided to take this seriously.
	"If it was serious enough for the first officer to bring it up, I
may have to perform a ritual suicide so that they may regain their honor."
	"You don't have to take things THAT seriously."
	"Maybe, I should allow the people most offended to perform the
ritual killing.  That would guarantee that their honor was restored...."
{Feeling a little dark today, Melvin?}
	I've had a long week.  I'm entitled.
	"Look," Brennan said.  "No one is going to require your death.
However, I am going to require that you make certain changes in your
behavior.  I want you to send apologies to the most offended people
immediately.  I also want you to make an appointment with the counselor at
her earliest conveinience.  You are to meet with her once a week at the
least, and maybe once a day if she feels that it's necessary.  Dismissed."
NRPG:
	Guys, meet my latest NPC, the editor.  He's here to make sure that
I don't get out of line.  However, if this form is too confusing, I'll try
to limit his comments.
{Over my dead body.}
	Also, I've decided that it would be more interesting if, rather
than having th'Tellan drop his abrasive side, I wrote some posts showing
him fighting it.
Brennan - Hope that I played Brennan all right.
	Also, is there any duties, aside from ASR posting, that a command
billet officer is supposed to perform?  Any particular writing
conventions?
James - Ready for a rematch?
Masako - What did I write about your character in my last post?  Well, it
doesn't matter.  Anyway, I was wondering if there was any way you wanted
to handle the way that the science department has been acting.  I thought
that you might want to make it cultural; or something like that.  (I can't
help it, it's one of the courses that I'm taking.)
Submitted by....
Melvin Pollack
Lt Cmdr Avikar th'Tellan
OPS USS CHESAPEAKE
mpollack@wam.umd.edu

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