From: 96906700afk@nene.ac.uk
Date: Sun, 13 Apr 1997 19:25:10 +0000 (GMT)
Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE: Highway to trouble
MD 5.1400
> At their stations, th'Tellan, Keyrin, Murray, and O'Graeach
> all seemed to be absorbed in their work. If there was any sign
> of instability in the CSO or CSciO at the moment, their Captain
> could not see it. Still, she took an extra look behind her
> shoulder at their stations, just to be sure.
>
"That's an ... interesting ... setup.", she said. Oz jumped at
the voice of his Captain, cold sweat ran down his neck, and he paled
considerably.
"Why - ah - um - ah - thank you, ma'am. Ah, Sir. Em - Captain.
Um.", he stammered. "It's just - uh, y'know, something I tried."
"Very - nice.", Captain Bell said and continued on her way. Oz
breathed a deep breath of relief. Thank goodness she had not asked what
the numbers meant.
He turned to Ensign Unit, hovering next to him. "Okay, Unit, I
want you to take a look at these numbers. This column represents the
number of fights each fighter has had in the past. This column represents
his wins, and this one shows against whom. I want you cross-reference
them and work out the correct odds."
"Excuse me, Sir, but I cannot see the relevance of the success of
any one of these individuals towards our functionality as a Navigation
department.", the 'bot said mechanically.
"Shhh, quiet.", Oz whispered. "Look, it's just - a drill, that's
it. A drill. I want to see whether you can do it, so I can rely in the
future on your computational abilities."
"Oh. I see, Sir.", Unit said and contemplated the numbers for
three seconds. "I have done a cross reference, including their current
injuries, and possible repercussions. Transmitting data -"
New numbers appeared on the console. Oz smiled. "Ben'trag has a
one in two chance of winning ?", he said pleasantly surprised. "But the
odds are sixteen to one. Okay, computer, patch me through to the stations
booky. Eh - Bachman Turf Accountant. On - a private line."
[Please wait, making contact. Contact made. Where do you want to
take it ?]
"Patch it into my console. Volume - low."
[Command executed.]
, a female voice
said. They all employed women at the phone.
"I'd like to place a bet on Ben'trag in the Federation
Middleweight Tagaroth competition. Eh - make it - oh, a hundred Creds."
"Galakbank, 6661366613-42. The name's O'Graeach. Ozwald
O'Graeach."
"Thanks, sweety.", Oz said, closing the connection. Ah, wasn't
life wonderful sometimes.
> "Aye, sir." The Romulan spoke quietly to the station, and
> nodded as the confirmation was received. Bell again looked to
> Brennan, who gave the order to move the ship slowly forward as
> the docking clamps retracted.
>
Launch. One of his favourites. For one thing, it was easy. He
hit the start button and the ship lurched forward. He was surprised at
the power of those engines. Simulation was one thing, but this - this was
pure fun. He wondered whether he might get the chance of seeing how fast
this ship could go. He hoped he would
> The CO sat back and watched carefully. A routine procedure,
> a launch...they cleared the station in due course, impulse
> engines powering up. After several minutes, she nodded to
> herself. "Mr. O'Graeach, set a course for the primary Delta
> Corellis star system, heading 108 Mark 32."
>
Where the hell was that blasted star system ? Oh, over there.
Pile of rocks, according to the map.
> "Heading laid in, sir..."
>
> "Engage, warp 6."
>
> There was that moment of disorientation one always felt as a
> ship jumped into warp. A shudder, almost, seemed to pass through
> the bridge, and then the hum seemed normal.
*******************************************************************
MD 5.1812
Scene: Science lab
"Look, it's a sweet offer, but I'm busy.", the girl with the blue
hair said. "DON'T TOUCH THAT !"
"Sorry.", Oz said, putting the vial of purple liquid back where
he thought he had picked it up from. "But how can you work with HIM
fixing the ventilator ?"
She glanced up to the engineer sitting in the open airshaft,
surrounded by three dozen different complicated electronic components.
"I can't.", she admitted, glacing up. "Hey, you, how long will it
take ?"
"Och, the microconverter on level 4 is ruptured. She can't take
it anymore.", the engineer replied. He had worked previously as a
plumber.
"Well, then bloody fix it !", the girl with the blue hair snapped.
Her name was Judy Dvall, and she was the assistant of the assistant of the
assistant SciO. She was not having a good day. She was supposed to run a
few tests, but without the ventilation system up and running there was no
way she could do it. Then she had been pestered by this rather cute but
hopeless redhead who wanted to invite her to his holoprogram. Which she
would have accepted, if she didn't have a whole lot of stuff to go
through. And she had the feeling the guy taking the vents apart didn't
actually have a clue what he was doing.
"Ahm 'fraid Ah cannat do that.", he replied. "See, you need a
three inch torque to remove the hatch here, but Ah don't have one with
me."
"Then bloody get one !", she snapped. She did not usually curse.
"'fraid my shift's over now, but tell you what, I'll be back early
tomorrow and fix it.", he said, suddenly dropping the fake scottish
accent.
"What - COME BACK HERE !!!!", she screamed, but he was out of the
door. "Oh, damn !", she cursed and kicked his toolbox, which he had left
lying on the floor.
The noise startled the white fluffy rabbit Oz was holding in his
arms. Not that he was supposed to play with the lab animals. She had
forbidden it quite clearly. He was not to touch the animals. At all.
Period. But they looked so cute...
"What are you doing with that rabbit ?", she screamed. Oz froze
in shock, and that was all the rabbit needed to squirm its way out of his
grasp and run into the ventilation system.
"Oh, my god, it's escaped ! If they find out - I'll be crucified
! Didn't I tell you not to touch them ? Don't stand there like a dead
stiff. What have yo got to say for yourself ?", she screamed at the top
of her voice.
"Ooooops ?", Oz suggested.
"Oooops ?!?!", she screamed. "Is that all you can say ?"
"Hey, look, there's no reason to worry. It can't get far. All
the exits are blocked. This one was the only one where they had removed
the grating and filter. All the other ones are closed. I'll find it,
don't worry. After all, where could a rabbit possibly go on a ship, eh ?"
**********************************************************************
MD 5.1956
Scene: Somewhere in the airducts.
"Where could a rabbit possibly go on a ship like this ? How
stupid could I be ?", Oz grumbled. He was tracking the rabbit using a
tricorder that was tuned on the rabbits sweat on its paws. He knew it had
come this way. What he did not know was where he was.
*******************************************************************
MD 5.2033
Scene: Somewhere in the airducts.
"Come to daddy, you stupid rabbit. Oh, there you are -", Oz said,
hurrying after the rabbit. The white animal with the red eyes saw him and
legged it, surprisingly fast, through the nearest airduct. Oz followed,
less speedy.
*********************************************************************
MD 5.2103
He had it ! He had it trapped ! Oz advanced towards the little
bunny. It was stuck in the middle of the airduct. A large hole indicated
another airduct going straight down, but it was some way, and the bunny
obviously didn't want to go that way. And the hole was far too wide to
allow jumping across for an animal of its size.
Oz advanced. Slowly. Slowly. He was close, closer, he grabbed
the animal - and the animal decided to jump. Oz tried to grab it, but all
he managed to do was to lose his balance and follow it on its fall down.
There was only one thing to do.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!". Oh,
and of course the essential: Closing ones eyes.
The tube began to slope and Oz was bounced around a bit before smashing
into some sort of wire grating. Or rather, smashing through it. He was
aware of noise, of light, and of water. Then he hit something soft and
toppled it over.
There was a moment silence. It felt good. Whatever he had landed
on, it felt nice, and soft, just like - like - no, it couldn't be ! He
opened his eyes. Yes, it was. His face was buried in a womans bosom.
"I must have died and gone to heaven.", he remarked to no-body in
particular, even though he was not a Christian. Then he noticed the face
of the woman he had fallen on. "Don't tell me this is The Other Place ?",
he said, getting up. Considering the snarl his cushion displayed, perhaps
a quick escape was advised.
He looked around. He was surrounded by a lot of naked women in a
shower room.
That was good. They don't looked very happy. That was bad. And one of
them was holding a knife. That was a crisis. He wondered for a moment
where a naked woman could get a knife from, then decided he didn't really
want to know.
Before he could say anything to defuse the situation, or before he
could spot an exit, a naked arm had slung itself around his neck, and was
unpleasantly squeezing. Despite being pressed against a naked womans body
he found it little pleasant. Perhaps the fact that he was having trouble
breathing might have had something to do with it.
"Been perving around a bit, haven't we ?", a harsh voice hissed
into his left ear.
"No, I've - gasp been looking -gasp for a bunny.", he gasped.
"Bunny ?", a quiet, slightly tearful voice said, and the woman
with the knife stepped forward. She looked at the knife as if she didn't
know where it came from, and she looked at him in a way - he frowned. He
was no expert on body language, but somehow her face reminded him of
something. If only he knew what... Then it hit him. Her eyes were full
of fear. That was new. People had looked at him with contempt, anger,
hatred, pity or amusement, but never, ever, with fear. And he knew what
fear could do. It could make people dangerous. This woman looked as if
she knew how to handle a knife. They all did, in fact.
"I didn't mean it the way it sounded.", Oz said quickly. "I lost
a lab rabbit, and - look, there it is !"
Everybody looked, including the woman holding him. She relaxed her grip
slightly, and he used that moment to twist out of her grip and bolt
towards the door. The women reacted, faster than he had thought, but not
fast enough. He managed to dodge the hands that tried to stop him and
threw himself through the open door of the showerroom. He collided with a
naked female Vulcan who was just ready to go into the shower. She barely
budged, while Oz soared backwards and ended up on the floor, water raining
from the shower and the women closing in.
"Oh my. I just hope I won't have nightmares.", Oz told the women.
"This could be really damaging to my psyche, you know.
Look, stop ! Oh. Help. Heeelp.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEElLLLLLLPPPP!!!"
NRPG:
Gee, the second officer to meet the marines. Take it away, Naomi :)
(I assumed the marines had some extra training, or something, until 2100)
Love,
Alex
Ens. Ozwald O'Graeach, USS CHESAPEAKE, FCO
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"A crisis is when you can't say, 'Let's forget the whole thing.'"
"He who fights and runs away - wastes valuable running time."
"If you don't care where you are you ain't lost" - O'Graeachs First Law of
Navigation
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