From: 96906700afk@nene.ac.uk
Date: Sat, 19 Apr 1997 02:40:17 +0000 (GMT)
Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE: The Luck o' the Irish (2nd ed) [Corrected]

MD 5.2230
	He had showered, toweled, and had half an hour to waste before
beginning his next shift.  He had switched wit Po'rom so he could see the
fight tomorrow.  After all, there was a lot of money involved.  Well, a
fair bit anyway.  Not that he was greedy for money.  He had learned that
money had to be spent.  You never knew where you might end up, or when,
and money didn't seem to carry over.  So better blow it while you had it,
was his motto.  One of his mottos, anyway.
	After all that hassle, and horror, what he really needed now was
an ale.  No, make that at least three pints, and crisps.  Really,
sometimes he wondered why he tried staying sane.  Life hated him.  There
he was, minding his own business, and what happened ?  He got jumped by
marines.  Now, who could deal with that in a sober state.  Worst of all,
Karen currently refused to talk to him.  He hadn't known it was her OWN
rabbit.  And how was he supposed to know that one of the students had
thought he'd infected it with typhoid.  Students being eternally stupid,
he actually had infected it with Vitamin C, but the student had THOUGHT he
had accidentially used the typhoid vial.  Anyway, that had been cleared up
now, the student had discovered the full typhoid vial and everything was
okay.
	Still.  She was not talking to him.  It just wasn't fair.  He said
so, on the way to the lounge.
NOBODY EVER SAID LIFE WAS FAIR
	She was walking next to him.  Young, female, very, very pale, in
black leather and stockings.  Hair in dire need of a brush.
	"You again.  What do you want ?", he snapped, walking past an
unsuspecting crewmember.  The poor man nearly jumped out of his skin.
JUST LOOKING HOW YOU ARE DOING.  I CAN'T LEAVE MY FAVOURITE HIGH PRIEST
ALONE ALL THE TIME.  IT'S ONE OF THE PERKS OF YOUR JOB, YOU GET TO TALK TO
ME FROM TIME TO TIME.
	"You call that perks ?", he asked, raising one eyebrow.  "How many
people do you know that would WANT to talk to a hallucination that claims
to be Death ?"
YOU'D BE SURPRISED, SWEETY.  ON ALGERION THEY ARE CURRENTLY INTRODUCING A
NEW DEATH CULT.  TO HONOUR ME.  ISN'T THAT SWEET ?  AND *THEY* WANT TO
TALK TO ME.
	"I remember that place.  If THEY want to bring a death cult back
it's probably by sacrificing their opponents.  I've never seen a planet
with that much backstabbing.  And I've seen the guys who run Virgin Galaxy
Radio Station.", Oz said.  "And I wouldn't call it sweet.  It's sick.
Who'd want to talk to an anthropomorphic personalisation of death ?  Most
people are busy enough keeping death from their door step.  They don't
need you to turn up for a chat !  And I'm not even mentioning that you
don't really exist."
YOU KEEP SAYING IT.  YOU DON'T REALLY BELIEVE IT.
"Yeah ?  Well, sorry, but I do !  I DO believe you don't exist.",
O'Graeach said triumphant.
THEN WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME ?
"Okay, I believe you exist, but I KNOW you are just a figment of my mind.
Happy now ?  Barkeeper, two Guinnes.  And don't hold the hops. 
What the hell is that ?  Look, I meant two PINTS of Guinnes !  By
Nayr'chella, this is the worst pub I've been to in the past - oh, three
hundred years."
	The barkeeper glared at him, but could not hold his curiousity.
"Yeah, so where was the worst ?"
	"L.A., 2145 AD.", Oz said, picking up the first pint and downing
it.  "After WW3.  Lousy service, lousy waitress, and the drinks were
glowing in the dark.  So was the waitress, mind you.  Nice girl, wasn't
her fault the local got blown to bits.  Of course, I still blame her for
telling everybody else I was a spy.  If I hadn't sneaked on board of that
Vulcan ship passing along - well, never mind.  Sometimes I really wonder
why I want to go home, though.  Every time I made it back to earth - wham,
something goes wrong.  Every time."  He downed his second pint in one go.
"Okay, mate, I'll take another two.  PINTS, mind you."
	Taking his two pints he ambled towards a table and sat down.  "Are
you still here ?  Don't you have to go somewhere ?  Take a few souls ?
Enjoy a war ?"
YOU'RE FORGETTING - I'M EVERYWHERE.  I DON'T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE, I'M
ALREADY THERE.  BESIDES, THERES WORK EVEN ON THIS SHIP.
	"Look, don't do this to me.  Okay, who is it ?  Someone I know ?
Not Karen !  Please tell me it's not Karen !"
IT'S NOT KAREN.  IT'S NOBODY.  SO FAR.  BUT ACCIDENTS ALWAYS HAPPEN, AND
SOME PEOPLE ARE HAPPIER TO SEE ME THAN OTHERS.
	"Yeah, sure.  Name one.", Oz said sarcastic, downing half his
pint.
THAT WOMAN OVER THERE., Death nodded towards a young woman staring at a
glass on her table, not blinking.  According to the number of glasses on
her table either she'd had lots of company, or she was really drunk.
	"Shit, that's one of the women in the marines shower room.  God,
she really looks down.  I remember her.  She got a little heart tattooed
on her inner thigh.", Oz said.  "I nearly didn't recognize her dressed."
SHE LOOKS VERY MISERABLE.
	"Yeah, and I'm probably the reason.", O'Graeach said guiltily.  He
hated being guilty.  It wasn't as if he had meant to cause them distress.
But now that he had - somehow he was feeling rather guilty and
responsible.  And that was another feeling he hated.  Responsibility.
Wasn't for him.  Still, he couldn't just walk away from this...actually,
he could, but, well, she looked cute, and really, he WAS responsible.  And
there was nobody else around.  Oh, yes, a few of the guys from the
engineering department were here, but engineers, in Oz's opinion, wouldn't
know what to do with a woman if it jumped into their lap, so they were of
really little use here.  Especially as he could hear them discussing light
bulb jokes.
He stood up and walked over to her.  "Look, I wanted to apologize for
earlier.  I mean, I *was* after a rabbit, and I didn't *mean* to startle
anyone, but I understand that my behaviour was were upsetting, and I
really want to make it up and - and you haven't heart a single word I've
been saying, have you ?"
He poked her, and she fell face down on the table, snoring loudly.
	Oz groaned.  "Great.  Just great.  Okay, I *could* walk away now.
Nobody has seen me, and even if, I mean, I don't really know her."
YOU COULD.  SHE *IS* A MARINE, THOUGH.
	"Right.  Marines always go drinking - no, that's not it.  Marines
always get punished for turning up drunk.  Great.  So, for whatever
reason, I freak her out.  Mess her head up.  She does the sensible thing
and gets drunk and then will get punished.  Which means it's all my fault.
And if she gets punished she might top herself !"
	He slung her over his shoulder and staggered a few steps.  Somehow
in the movies it looked a lot easier.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? 
	"She belongs to bed.  She can't go back to the marines like this.
So she's coming with me.", he said while stumbling out of the pub.
DON'T YOU THINK THIS MIGHT BE SLIGHTLY MISCONSTRUED ?  ESPECIALLY BY HER ?
	"How ?  She'll be in my bed, I'll be on the bridge.  My duty
starts in - started five minutes ago.  Okay, so I'll be late.  I'll think
of an excuse."
***********************************************************************
Scene: O'Graeachs bedroom
MD 5.2314
	He had tucked her into his bed, deposited a bowl, in case she got
sick, left her a healthy breakfast, a few Aspirin, and a pack of crisps.
Rollmops flavour.
	"Okay, I want you to stay here and take care of her if she wakes
up - I can't believe I just asked a figment of my imagination to nursemaid
a drunk marine."
YOU KEEP SAYING THAT.  THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT.
	"Hey, even if you WERE Death, that still wouldn't make you a good
nurse.  Shit, I gotto run, I'm late.  Hopefully I won't see you again."
EVERYBODY SEES ME AGAIN, EVENTUALLY.
	"Not if I can help it, thanks all the same.", Oz said and dashed
out of the door.  He raced through the corridors and into the turbo lift.
"Bridge !"
[I am sorry, but this lift is going to Engineering.  Please take the next
lift.], the computer said after the doors had closed.
	"Oh, great.  Just great."
***********************************************************************
Scene: Bridge
MD 5.2325
	The doors of the turbo lift parted and Oz stepped out.  The OtW
glanced at his PADD and said, "Ensign O'Graeach ?"
	Oz nodded.  "The very same."
	"I believe your shift began 25 minutes ago.  I shall have to
report this."
	"Hey, it's a miracle I made it at all.  There - there was a
radiation leak in engineering and - and I had to help.", Oz lied quickly.
	"I have received no information concerning a radiation leak.", the
Officer on the Watch said.
	"Oh, it wasn't a leak yet, but it was gonna be, so I helped
because there weren't enough people.  Nobody thought of telling you
because we were all so busy.", Oz fleshed his lies out.  "With your
permission I'll relief Ens. Po'rom now."
	Without waiting for a reply he strode forward and told Po'rom to
get lost as quickly as possible.  Taking the controls he took a deep
breath.  Hopefully nobody would find out about the woman in his quarters.
It would simply cause too many misunderstandings.
A thought popped into his head.  What was the penalty for drink-driving a
spaceship ?  His head felt light and giddy.
NRPG:
This is essentially the same as the first, except now the woman is some
other NPC marine that's not protected.  Given the number of sad, depressed
or simply weird people it's probably catching and she's wailing away
because of PMT, or any other reason for depression, instead of being in
bed as a proper marine should be.  Given O'Graeachs luck this is going to
end bad.
In case anybody asks - I don't know whether Death is a figment of Oz's
imagination or is real.  I'm not going to decide, either.  Mysteries are
most beautiful unsolved.
PS - I still don't get the Jimmy Carter joke.  Maybe because I'm not a
USAmerican.  Someone explain - please ...
(I presume that being compared to ANY American president is probably an
insult...No offence, and yes, I like Lincoln :))
Love,
Fabian
playing
Ozwald O'Graeach, USS CHESAPEAKE, FCO
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"Depend on the rabbits foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for
the rabbit."
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard
enough to find your way around Chinatown."
"A crisis is when you can't say 'Let's just forget the whole thing'"
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