From: Christine Fontaine <cfontaine@nac.net>
Date: Fri, 20 Jun 1997 15:11:44 -0400
Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE: Collisions & Conversation
SD 90620.1507 (EDT)
MD 11.0930
Scene: USS CHESAPEAKE: Corridor
-------------------------------
Lieutenant Commander Catherine Ledoux was on her way back to sickbay, after
having completed a 'house call', to use the rather archaic term. Striding
briskly through the ship's corridors, the vet reflected that the term house
call still lived up to its name: the doctor visiting the patient, rather
than the patient visiting the doctor. In this particular instance,
Catherine's patient had been a cat.
ENS Jamie Morgan, a junior officer serving in the engineering department,
happened to own a large, white Persian cat by the name of Fluffy.
Catherine smirked at the name; who was silly enough in this day and age to
call their cat Fluffy. Abruptly, the vet derailed that train of thought.
With a feline named Whiskers, she wasn't one to talk.
At any rate, Jamie's cat, Fluffy, had lodged himself firmly in a corner
behind the Ensign's bed and absolutely refused to come out. Even attempts
to move the bed were unsuccessful, for the engineer's forrays were met with
slashing claws and violent hissing. Jamie quickly beat a hasty retreat.
With his cat crying piteously, ENS Morgan had been afraid that Fluffy had
injured himself and was unable to extricate himself from the tight
situation. Platters of salmon, cavier and assorted other cat treats, both
mundane and exotic, had failed to budge the stubborn feline. Jamie had
been at his wits end.
The two options that had sprung immediately to the Ensign's mind were
totally inacceptable. While phasering the cat would certainly leave the
Persian unconscious, Jamie simply couldn't walk up to the armory and
request a phaser. Wincing, Jamie could just imagine *that* conversation.
"I'm here to request a phaser," he imagined himself saying with a beet red
face.
"Do you have any authorization?"
"Umm, no."
"You do have a requisition PADD filled out?"
"Ummmm, no."
"Did you ask your superior officer for a requisition?"
A shake of the head this time.
"Excuse me, Ensign, but *why* do you need a phaser?"
"To rescue my cat," he would mumble, barely audible.
"Excuse me?"
"To rescue my cat," he would now squeak, face becoming even redder, if
such a thing were possible.
"Excuse me, did you say to rescue your cat?"
An abashed nod.
Laughing the security officer would reply, "get out of here!"
The other option was equally untenable: transporting the cat out of its
hidey-hole. Intra-ship transports were not undertaken lightly. Usually
only used in emergency situations, there was no way anyone would authorize
the transport of his beautiful baby!
In desperation, Jamie had turned to the computer, deciding to discover
whether there were any vets aboard. Not expecting the answer to be
affirmative, ENS Morgan was startled when the computer informed him that
the ship's Cheief Medical Officer, LCDR Ledoux, was a trained veterinarian.
Still feeling rather silly, and with a luckily-unseen blush colouring his
cheeks, Jamie contacted the CMO, and, with a rush of breath, explained the
situation to her. Doctor Ledoux had indicated that she would be there
shortly.
Well, Catherine had been able to 'rescue' the cat, and had taken care of an
absess that had formed in its paw. Leaving a red-faced Ensign Morgan to
tend to his Fluffy, the vet was now on her way back to sickbay.
Chuckling to herself - for the cat's predicament, while troubling for the
young Ensign, had nevertheless mean amusing - Doctor Ledoux made her way
back to sickbay. Lost in her own thoughts, the vet was not really paying
attention to where she was going. Consequently, she was not prepared to
run into someone in the middle of the hallway.
Bang! A stack of PADDs went flying, and the dull thud of their impact
resonated through the corridor. Stammering an apology, Catherine
immediately bent to pick up the fallen PADDs.
"Excuse me," she stated sincerely, her cheeks flushing a pale pink.
Finally looking up to hand the PADDs back, the vet was slightly taken aback.
"Anne!" she exclaimed. "I'm... I'm so sorry. I'm afraid I wasn't really
looking where I was going."
Pressing her lips together, Catherine realized that she hadn't spoken to
Anne in, well, days. Quickly appraising the Science Officer, as if Anne
was one of her patients, the doctor decided that her friend (well,
hopefully she *was* still her friend) did not look very good.
"Anne, listen. I'm also sorry I haven't had the chance to talk with you
recently." Catherine was almost babbling, feeling ashamed that she had not
made an effort to seek Anne out. "I've just been so busy. That's no
excuse but..."
Suddenly, an idea came to the Doctor. "Listen Anne, do you have some time
free right now? Would you like to talk? Maybe in my quarters or the
arboretum?"
Anne was just standing there, a Vulcan mask freezing her features.
Deciding to take matters into her own hands, Catherine tapped her comm badge.
"Doctor Ledoux to sickbay."
[Sickbay. Doctor Donne here.]
"Doctor, somethings come up, and I won't be able to return to sickbay right
away. If there's an emergency, however, contact me right away."
[Understood.]
"Ledoux out." With that, Catherine closed the connection.
"Now Anne, what do you think?"
Visions of upcoming meetings, science reports, and other snippets passed
through Anne's mind. She shook her head a bit to clear it, then she
tried a little smile.
"I suppose I have a bit of time," she said, crossing her fingers mentally.
Fielding wouldn't *really* need those reports until 1200 anyway, and he
*had* seemed a bit annoyed about her insistence on his handing in the
Delta Corellis report for her. That *was* two days ago, but...
Realizing that she hadn't said anything intelligible to the doctor, Anne
shrugged a bit.
"If you're sure you don't mind, Catherine?" she asked. "I know Derek
would love to have some peace and quiet in his department for a while."
As she fell into step with the CMO, Anne wished that she had brought her
scientific tricorder along. Now would have been the perfect time to get
that reading on Catherine she'd been meaning to get for the past six days.
"How have *you* been, Catherine?" she asked, almost cautiously, as she
slowly allowed her features to relax into a more human expression. "I've
been meaning to call you, and something always came up... I'm so sorry."
She changed the topic slightly as the two made their way down another
corridor. "Did you know that our Counselor plays poker? I'm beginning to
think that they must teach those Counseling students nothing but how to
play games at Stafleet Academy!"
Catherine smiled, relieved that Anne was, in fact, still speaking to her.
"Well, I guess they use games to try to get people to relax.
Unfortunately, I don't think they realize that the games usually do more to
cause stress then relieve it!"
*** *** *** ***
Scene: USS CHESAPEAKE: Dr. Ledoux's Quarters
--------------------------------------------
Catherine's two felines were nowhere in evidence as Anne and the vet
entered the doctor's quarters. They were probably curled up in a corner
somewhere sleeping, and for once, Catherine was grateful that they had not
greeted her with exuberant enthusiasm. All the vet wanted was a bit of
quiet time to talk with Anne.
Motioning for Anne to take a seat in the living area, which was furnished
in neutral shades of cream and beige, Catherine headed towards the
replicator.
"Can I get you anything to drink Anne?"
"A half-frozen lime soda, please... thank you," said Anne with a smile.
After filling Anne's order, Catherine secured a cup of Strawberry-Mango tea
for herself. Offering Anne her beverage, Catherine took a seat on the
adjacent couch.
Not knowing where to begin, the vet took a sip of her tea. Placing the cup
carefully on the coffee table, so as not to spill anything, she then looked
up at Anne.
"So, how are you doing Anne?"
"That," said Anne slowly, "is a very interesting question." She sipped her
soda and decided that it was probably the best she'd had in a long while.
"To be honest... I'm tired. If I'm doing something, then I'm meddling...
if I'm not, then I'm in a Mood. I just can't seem to win." She smiled
apologetically at Catherine. "I don't know if you know, but... they took
me off duty for a day and a half last week... right after your vacation,
as a matter of fact. It's been..." she let herself shut down her emotions
a bit. "A bit difficult."
Nodding in sympathy, Catherine took another sip of her tea. "I know what
you mean. My first day off was, well, not all that pleasant. Thank
goodness the second day went much better. But things must have worked out
for you too?" the vet queried, hoping that she wouldn't offend Anne.
"Oh, the fitrep was all right, I suppose," said Anne. "I mean, here I am,
back on duty. It's just knowing that I've skimped out at a time when I
was needed, in a sense. Or, if I really didn't have to be around, then
*what am I doing here*? Derek wrote the report on the Delta Corellis
system. He handed it in, and he was responsible for coordinating the
findings. He has the department running like a top, and I can't help but
think that... I don't deserve this position, he does. I should be *his*
assistant, not the other way around." She suddenly paused. "Captain Bell
told me to pull myself together," she said slowly. "And *have* I? I
don't know.
"The most difficult thing, though," she admitted, "is knowing that I'm not
meeting expectations. I'm a Starfleet Officer, and I'm supposed to be
'with it' up here." She tapped her forehead. "Problem is, I flipped
out... and I let it affect my work. *I let it affect my work*. I've
never done that before. What am I *doing* being in charge here? I don't
know! Counselor Tats-Marush says that I can't control *everything*...
and she's right. I can't even control *myself* half the time.
"What happened to me? I used to be able to do it as easy as pie when I
was a kid. Even on the BELL. Swish, click, Vulcan mode on. Nothing
hurt any more, feelings didn't exist any more, efficiency and lab
mode on. I'd just shut up and take whatever it was that was coming at me.
And now? It works only some of the time. It's like... a switch broke in
my brain or something. I keep thinking about things I don't want to think
about, I yell at people when I don't mean to... it's scary. Sure, the old
system works once in a while, but not all the time. Even my mind doesn't
stay focused like it used to..."
She paused.
"I'm talking an awful lot," she commented. "I'm sorry, Catherine... I
didn't mean to dump everything on you." Then, perhaps unexpectedly, she
smiled. "I've been so afraid that I'd lost another friend... I'm so
happy that you're still willing to spend time with me... and I only hope
that I can be as good a friend for you as you've been for me."
Catherine blushed, then glanced at the floor. "I'm... I'm afraid I haven't
been a very good friend, Anne. Look at all the days I let pass by without
getting in touch." Taking her tea cup back into her hands, the doctor
looked up. "I'm just happy that we 'ran into' each other." She essayed a
timid laugh. "And I'm very glad that we're talking right now." With that,
she gave Anne a warm smile.
"And don't worry about 'dumping' on me. After all, that's what friends are
for." Catherine paused, taking a sip of her tea.
"You know," she said suddenly, "I haven't been very 'together' myself."
Shaking her head, she continued, "I was so wrapped up in self-pity, so
upset that Rich had left, that I didn't take the time to appreciate what I
*do* have." Smiling at Anne, she took another sip of tea.
"I've realized now that I'm very lucky. Not everyone is blessed with the
kind of love that Rich and I share." Her face lit up as she thought of
Rich. "But," Catherine continued, "I needed some time to come to that
realization. Perhaps you just need some time too."
Tucking a loose curl behind one ear, the vet added, "you know Anne, you've
been through a lot. You probably had a lot of emotions bottled up inside,
and they've decided to come out now." Shrugging she added, "perhaps your
mind just suddenly said: 'Enough! I need some time to do some emotional
work.' But then," Catherine laughed, "I've only taken a couple of first
year Psych courses, so I'm certainly no expert!"
Anne smiled at her friend with a hint of mischief.
"Well... if it comes to that, I'm not much of an expert, either," she
ventured. "And your hypothesis certainly makes sense." She looked off at the
wall. "I just wish that it hadn't hit now... on a new ship." She shrugged
and looked back at Catherine. "Yes, you certainly *are* blessed," she said
with a smile. "To have someone like Rich... that must be very nice indeed."
Anne sipped her half-frozen lime soda, which had turned into half-melted lime
soda, and smiled.
"You know what Derek Fielding told me the other day?" she said rhetorically.
"He said that his cousin was the biggest non-help he's had in his entire
life." Her smile grew warmer, much as the lime soda was doing. "At least I
can say that my cousin is a *lot* of help... and he doesn't even mean to be.
But..." she looked over at Catherine, almost afraid to broach the subject.
But she needed to know...
"How *are* you doing, Catherine?" she asked quietly. "I'm sorry about the
other night... .I just... there were two girls in my high school class...
both of them died of anorexia nervosa. I just didn't want to lose you, too."
Startled, the vet took a sip of tea, hiding her expression with the cup.
Willing her hands not to tremble, she schooled her expression back into
some semblance of normality, then placed the cup back on the table.
"I'm doing much better, thanks," Catherine replied. "Like I said, I was
feeling sorry for myself, and I let myself fall into some old habits."
Sighing, she shook her head. "Old habits that were better left forgotten."
She paused. "You know, its funny how we fall back into using old coping
mechanisms, even when we know they don't work." Brushing a curl off her
forehead she added, "but I am doing better, and thank you for your
concern." Catherine gave Anne a smile.
Relief... that was what best described Anne's feelings when she saw that
smile. Catherine was still there... they had not lost what they had begun.
It was, Anne mused, the first time -- aside from Myron, of course -- that
she could be certain of a relationship that would last. Cherish it.
Treasure the person. And, above all, be honest and be who you are.
"I'm glad that you're doing better, Catherine," said Anne. "I know I tend to
be... overprotective at times." She smiled at the ludicrousness of it all...
she was a newly promoted O-3, 23 years old, trying to protect a 27-year-old
O-4. But then... she'd tried to do that for her friends at Cochrane, too.
"You're right about old habits," she continued, her cheeks burning with a
sudden blush. "They certainly do come back full-force when we try to cope
with some stresses."
She quietly told her friend of the severe depression she had experienced four
days earlier, about writing what she was convinced would be a final note to
Myron "which his parents could probably have read to him, I suppose," the
despair, the hopelessness. It was her darkest secret, even darker than the
whole incident with Kevin Mallory... To lose one's virginity was one thing;
to wish one's life away... that was a whole new ballpark.
"It's not," she concluded, "something that I have a lot of problems with...
most of the time. I guess the last few days had caught up with me. I'm all
right now... I just thought... you should know." She finished off her lime
soda, which had completely melted by this time. "And, Catherine," she added,
"you probably now know more about me than anyone else on board this ship...
and I'm glad."
Catherine smiled in return, her cheeks blushing a delicate pink from the
compliment her friend had paid her. "Thank you for putting your trust in
me, Anne, and for listening to me too. It's... it's nice to know I have a
friend here." She stopped, not knowing what else to say.
"Well," the vet finally said, after a few more moments of silence. "Why
don't we see what kind of mischief my two Siamese are up to - they've been
far too quiet for my sake!" she laughed.
"Oh, you do like cats, I hope?"
Respectfully submitted,
Chris Fontaine Masako Goto
LCDR Catherine Ledoux, DVM LT Anne Murray, PhD
Chief Medical Officer Chief Science Officer
USS CHESAPEAKE USS CHESAPEAKE
<cfontaine@nac.net> <mfielding@aol.com>
<mgoto@indiana.edu>
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