From: Gershon <jrbowman@london2.skn.net>
Date: Sun, 13 Jul 1997 21:09:11 -0500
Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE: Little Green Ensign
***************************************************************
*** ***
*** DISCLAIMER ***
*** ***
*** Adult themes. Lock up the children. ***
*** Well, adult themes for a human, anyway. ***
*** A Shrevashal would just say you had a ***
*** filthy mind and leave it at that. :P ***
*** ***
*** ***
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MD 10.0800
Hangar Deck
LCDR th'Tellan cursed the Romulan people for not conveniently providing him
with X-Ray vision. Mind-melding, the healing of wounds, all of those old
Vulcan disciplines would have been quite convenient. Even *pon farr*, in
that it would have assured him of a date every seven years or so. No.
He was stuck with being a Romulan. Still, it was a good life, particularly
if you liked women with pointed ears and green blood.
Th'Tellan squinted towards the shuttle bay doors. ENS Makki, a small fat
furry creature who served as the Hangar Deck Officer, walked over to
the D/OPS. "Sir?" LCDR th'Tellan came to the conclusion that this was
a Spalasas, a small furry species with a penchant for dirty jokes.
Th'Tellan looked at Makki, then his PADD, then the shuttlebay doors.
He squinted as he peered out into the empty distance. It's not working yet, he
thought. He looked at Makki, to provide inspiration.
"Uhm...would you like something to drink while you wait, Commander?" Th'Tellan
realized that he looked like a doofus standing in the middle of the Hangar
Deck.
"It seems we have new crew, Mr...uh...don't tell me...*Makki*. A new
officer is arriving by D-Warp for the Biological Sciences Department."
Makki knew that. He didn't think this particular Ensign was that important.
"Yes, Sir." The Spalasas went to get the equipment.
The Hangar Bay doors opened and a sleek D-Warp shuttle coasted onto the
deck. Three crewmen walked over to unseal the safety latches on the craft,
and th'Tellan walked over to greet the occupant, as soon as she was unlatched.
Makki brought what looked like a small, kidney shaped bowl over to th'Tellan.
"Snacks?", asked th'Tellan. "Very nice of you, but I think someone's eaten
all the candy."
"That's not a bowl for candy, sir."
The occupant, according to the PADD Checklist, was one ENS Kimmi Spel-Arenma,
of the world known as Shrevashal, very close to the Rigel System. A nice
picture of a green woman with a spiky haircut. Specialties: Biological
and Computer Science. Nice grades, and a difficult double major.
A very lovely woman stepped out of the shuttle. Her eyes bugged out wildly,
and she looked more off-brown than green. Th'Tellan smiled. They come
in different colors, he thought.
"Hello, Ensign Spel-Arenma. I'd like to welcome you to the ---"
Spel-Arenma grabbed the kidney shaped bowl, brought it up to her face,
and promptly vomited up 100 ccs of a food-like substance. The curvature
in the bowl, appparently, was for the bowl to be brought as close as possible
to the head.
" -- CHESAPEAKE." Well. So much for lunch, th'Tellan thought. th'Tellan
took the bowl gingerly out of Spel-Arenma's hands. He handed it to ENS
Makki. "Clean that up, will you, Ensign?" Makki watched as th'Tellan
disappeared into the bathroom.
*******************************************************************************
MD 10.1300
Science Labs
It was time to call a division meeting. These were necessary at least once
a week, and today's had been another opportunity for Murray and Derek
Fielding to clash heads.
The few days the two worked together had not revealed any pressing problems.
Anne had reviewed the progress of the the work of the labs and Derek had
handled personnel. The peace, however, had been tested for the first time
with the division meeting. Who would run it? Division meetings were about
procedure, personnel, everything. Anne exerted her authority, and Derek
was unhappy. He was sure she would leave the meeting with everyone either
confused or angry.
Murray went over the checklist section by section, making sure everyone had
a copy. At times, Fielding would interrupt a report someone else was
giving to break off an interrogation by Murray of some hapless Science crewman.
The meeting was a process that was testing the patience of the two officers,
each convinced that the other had no business running a division meeting.
After an hour, Murray prepared her closing marks. Fielding told himself it
was fitting. *If Anne Murray still has anything left on her agenda, she would
skip it just to give everyone the impression that she timed the meeting to
end at one hour exactly.* "No old business?" Silence.
"No new business?"
LTJG Fielding stood up. Murray glared at him. Daggers.
"Yes. I would like to invite a new officer to the Science Department of
the USS CHESAPEAKE. Ensign, would you care to introduce yourself?"
The object of interest for the last hour among many of the male members of
the department finally stood up. "Hello, my name is ENS Kimmi Stel-Arenma.
I am from the Orion homeworld. I'm very glad to meet you and will look forward
to having sex with all of you in the coming months ahead."
Silence. The meeting crashed. Even Derek was dumbfounded. Finally, Murray
answered, in an icy tone, "Thank you, Ensign, but I have other plans."
Everyone roared into riotous laughter except for the Vulcans. Anne looked
at the crowd with the frozen expression of a wooden Vulcan herself. Derek,
however, knew that she was secretly boiling over with anger....
*************************************************************************
MD 10.1600
It was at this time that LTJG Stavay Tats-Marush received a cryptic
message from LT Anne Murray:
********
TO: COUNS, USS CHESAPEAKE
FM: SCI, USS CHESAPEAKE
RE: Sex
Please cure the raging libido of our new Biological Sciences Officer.
LT Anne Murray, SCI, USS CHESAPEAKE
********
Great, thought Stavay. The new Biological Sciences officer has made a
pass at the SCI. I'm suprised security didn't get a copy of the memo.
Stavay didn't know how Anne would *handle* a pass or a request for
a romantic relationship. Anne belonged to the class of people who were
completely convinced that they were plain or ugly. The reasons for
their belief were grounded in a set of unhealthy sexual neuroses.
Stavay would probably have to do some on-site counseling. Stavay then
corrected herself. This new bio-officer would *have* to be a O-2 or
lower. She'd have to talk to *both* of them....
As she entered the door of the science department, Stavay received a few
appreciative nods from a few crewmen. The Counselor made her way to the
Biological Sciences division where the new officer explained a new
procedure to her four very-attentive subordinate crewmen.
It was a Shrevashal. A female Shrevashal. Stavay hoped that whatever happened,
she would *not* be attracted to this new officer. She hadn't seen another
living, breathing Shrevashal in what seemed like *ages*. She sat on a stool
and waited.
"Ahem. Counselor." She turned to face a red-haired crewman. Stavay smiled.
"Hello. And you are?"
"David Hendirk. I mean, Petty Officer Second Class David Hendirk, Computer
Science Division. Anyway, Counselor...uh...can I ask you a personal question?"
"You can always *ask* it."
"Counselor, is this the time of Damahar or the time of Assin? For *you*,
that is?"
*Damahar*? *Assin*? The Time of The Cycle and The Time of the Dedication?
How did this young man, whoever he was, know so much about Shrevashal culture?
And why did he ask such an embarassing question? Stavay begin to have
some suspicions.
"Well, Mr. Hendirk, it is *not* the time of *Assin*. I am not <utsamen>
right now. What is the best way to translate that verb? Let's see. "I
am not engaged in temple prostitution at this time." Does this look
like a Shrevashal temple to you, Mr. Hendirk?
"I would also like to point out to you, Mr. Hendirk, that the Assin year
is a very holy matter for most practicing Shrevashal. I have not "carried
the holy words" in some time. You do not see the traditional banner as
part of my uniform, Mr. Hendirk. Furthermore, if you were to actually
*come* to temple, and were actually interested in celebration of the love
of the Great Goddess, I would not be a quick pick-up for you. You would be
assigned someone who fit your spiritual needs, not necessarily me. Furthermore,
you would be assigned a *type*, not a *gender*. The person who fills you
particular druther might very well be a **male**. There are ways around that,
but all in all you would pay your money to the Priestess, walk hand in hand
with anyone they gave you, and *smile*. To do otherwise insults the Goddess
and the Priestesses.
"In short, Mr. Hendirk, I suggest that you do some reading on the Shrevashal
before you ask a pointed question like that. Good day." Stavay left the
dumbfounded Petty Officer behind. Apparently, the libidos were in full
force tonight....
*****************
MD 10.1630
It was a long wait for Stavay, and one of the crewmen suggested she wait
in Meeting Room C. Meeting Room C consisted of a databoard on the wall,
three chairs, a table and a small drink replicator. Stavay looked at the
decision tree on the wall. Anne's handwriting?
ENS Stel-Arenma entered the room. "Good afternoon...uh...Counselor?"
Stavay turned. Kimmi was very attractive, and Stavay's heart jumped a few
beats. "<Yes. LTJG Stavay Tats-Marush at your service. Welcome to the
CHESAPEAKE.>"
"<Thank you, Sir. Do you mind if we speak Standard? I had an incredibly
difficult time at the Academy with it. It's lucky I had a few "sleeping
dictionaries". I find it the easiest way to learn a language.>"
"<votyani cinaminorata>? 'sleeping dictionaries'? Am I translating that
right?"
"Okay. Bed partners, then."
The Counselor immediately sized up the problem. Before she could say
anything, Kimmi replied, "Why do you have a man's name? *Stavay*. That's
definitely not the name of a female!"
"I had...ah...parents with a bizarre sense of humor. They expected a boy."
"I see. Well, then, Counselor...can you tell me who is best to sleep with?"
Agh. "No one. None of the senior staff. No one who isn't an officer.
And **definitely** no one who works in the Science Department. There are
conflicts of interest."
Kimmi nodded. "I see. Who do *you* sleep with, then?"
*<Sopa>*. "That's really not any of your business, Ensign."
"Aha. You don't sleep with anyone?"
Stavay's attraction for her fellow Shrevashal was beginning to vanish.
"Like I said, that's none of your business."
"Why do you have to be so *private*? Uh...I thought that the purpose of
Starfleet was the exploration of alien cultures, a sharing of information
and cultural values? It's not very Shrevashal, to keep to one's self."
"Look, Ensign...Terrans have a very different view of sex and sexuality.
Remember the Vow of Celibacy that all Deltans have to take? It's the
same problem. Terrans are maladjusted toward sexuality. You should know
that. They have the <eska Ikanasa>, the "Rigellian" attitude, the same
attitudes that made slaves of our people centuries ago.
"Ensign, Terrans have only two attitudes, both extremes. Either they don't
want to talk about sex at all, or they want to talk about it far too much.
When you made your interest for a Shrevashal kind of closeness -- a *tactile*
kind of closeness -- known to your crewmen, two things happened. First, you
offended one half of the Department, including the Chief Science Officer.
Second, you overexcited the other half. They all want to get in bed with
you now."
Kimmi thought the problem over for a few moments. "Well, as for the first
half, Sir, I can't be held responsible for their problems. As for the
second half, it will do them good to learn about an honest sexual expression."
"Humans confuse sex with love. Their hearts might be broken."
"Well, Counselor, I'm sorry about that. It's a shame that they're so immature.
But they can't be *all* like that, and it would be a crime to treat them
*all* like children. I see your point, though. I'll be more careful. I
just feel sorry for them." The ensign seemed contrite.
"Thank you, Ensign. I'd love to talk about life on Shrevashal with you
some more. It's been years since I've been there."
"How many years, Sir?" Suddenly, Kimmi was quite interested.
"Over a decade, Ensign Stel-Arenma."
"You must have been quite young."
"I was." Stavay stood up to leave. "I really have to get going. And by the
way, if you want to talk to me, or another Counselor, I suggest you not
talk to the Assistant Counselor, LTJG Traren. This is between you and me."
"Of course." Kimmi took her pad and prepared to leave. She smiled. "See you
soon, Sir."
*************************************
MD 11.0000
The night shift proved to be quite interesting. There was a lot to remember.
The nursing staff had been instructed about Corellian anatomy, proper vital
signs. LT Kirin was being her usual implacable self. For a Bajoran,
Kirin was very quiet and non-expressive. The lack of feedback from Kirin was
irritating. Did this woman ever have fun? Did she ever speak? Stavay put
such mysteries behind her.
Right now, all Stavay wanted to do was go to bed.
If she could get by on six hours of sleep a night, she could solve the problem
of her recertification *and* the meeting with the Corellians. She would look
forward to sleep.
As she made it back to her room, she found someone waiting for her. Kimmi.
The young Shrevashal wore a diaphanous white shirt -- see through --
with a sports shift that covered her bosom. Red pants completed the ensemble.
The ensign looked bright, almost good enough to eat, vibrant, full of joy.
"Hello, Counselor. I wanted to see you."
Stavay smiled through the fatigue. "Of course. Come in."
The two entered the room. Kimmi looked about, picking up an odd-looking
device. "A gunsword."
"Let's not tell ENS Keyrin I have that. I'm afraid she might take it away
from me, particularly if she knew it was a working model. Of course,
I could have used it against that rat --- "
"**MMMmmmmmmmmmm.** Kimmi hugged Stavay from behind. "<Sir, your skin
smells so nice. I thought you might want someone to sleep with, tonight.>"
Stavay thought about it. "Ensign, this isn't the time, or place."
"If we were on Shrevashal...if this were an Orion vessel...there would be
no problem."
"But it isn't." Stavay turned around, putting her hands on Kimmi's shoulders.
"This isn't the time or the place."
"<The time is a private time. The place is a private place. Behind these
doors, Sir, the Federation does not exist. Who cares what you and I do
behind these doors?>"
Tired, this was not the time for Stavay to deal with her conflicting emotions,
or her confused sexuality. She pulled away, abruptly. Kimmi noticed it,
immediately. "<Did I offend you before? Is there something unresolved? Some
lack of respect?>" The ensign looked almost ready to break down. Stavay knew
why. It wasn't sexual. It was much more complicated than that.
"<No, sweet Kimmi, it's not that. It's...me. There's no reason I wouldn't
*want* to get close to you, wouldn't want to know you better. Just not in
a sexual way.>"
"<And not even in a physical way, it seems. It doesn't have to be
intercourse.>" Kimmi looked at the Counselor. "<It's you. You've been
away too long.>"
"How so?" Stavay did not wish to hear this.
Kimmi lapsed back into Standard as well. "You just don't...*act* right.
I understand what you told me with the Science department. About the
humans, and how they had to be treated as a special case. But all the
light has gone out of your eyes, Counselor. You keep me at a distance,
when I'm the very person you need right now. Everything has become formal
to you, formal in that strange human way. We don't touch. Even your
room, aside from a weapon, of all things, looks like an ordinary Terran
room. Where are the colors? Where are the tapestries? Where is the
icon?
"You have been pressed in the human mold. Counselor...I'm sorry I've
repulsed you. I could tell it, when you took the point of view of the humans,
before you took mine."
"Well...I need time to adapt. It's been so long."
"But you run away from it, instead of running *to* it. Maybe there's too
much about the Shrevashal culture that embarrasses you. I don't feel the
need to apologize for my people. Not at all. It's the problem of the
humans and the human want-to-bes. Forgive me for the offense, Counselor.
I shall now treat you as a special case. If you want to know what it is
to be Shrevashal again, I am always here. Goodbye, Sir."
Stavay watched the door, long after Kimmi left. She would not sleep well
tonight.
***********************
MD 13.1410
Turbolift 120
She had not spoken with Stel-Arenma since she left two nights earlier.
At times, she saw her on the deck, laughing with some male crewman.
Stavay suspected everything, and wonder about why she even cared.
Maybe Stavay needed to be in the arms of a male crewman, or a female
crewman, but each presented problems and the only person to damn was
herself.
She had thought about redecorating her room in Shrevashal style, but
felt that she was "giving in" to Kimmi's whims, that to rearrange things
would be an agreement that Kimmi was right. Her favorite cloak, complete
with cowl, looked like a nun's habit compared to the skin-exposing
dress that the Ensign favored. At least, there were no more complaints from
Murray.
The meeting with Brennan was soon. It would be best to lose herself in
her work, worry about the Corellians and the miners and not about herself.
She was a *Starfleet Officer* before anything else. With luck, that would
be enough.
The turbolift opened. ENS Aelyria Keyrin stepped on to the turbodeck. At
least, the SEC officer didn't seem to give her the fish eye.
"So how are things?", Stavay asked. (Boy, you're in a good mood.)
"Better," answered Keyrin.
"That's always good to hear."
Deck 5. Both officers stepped out. "And you?"
"I'm well. Things are pretty much the same as usual...." A pleasant ritual.
At least, the ritual was possible. It indicated that things were imporving.
As the two stepped toward the transporter room, Stavay decided to make
another press toward how Keyrin was doing. Maybe the SEC was opening up.
"Have you tried any of the holodeck programs?"
"No, not yet. All I've used the decks for so far are training exercises."
Keyrin mumbled a few words, shifting uneasily from one foot to another.
Immediately, Stavay knew she had made a mistake.
"I understand. The work with the Corellians has kept you quite busy."
"Yes, it has," Keyrin quickly answered. Stavay was glad to give Keyrin
an out.
More silence. Keyrin was turning away to look at the panels, the light
fixtures, to avoid small talk. It was bad form for a Counselor to stand
there with her mouth shut. Counselors were supposed to be such easy
conversationalists.
"It must be such a hard job, providing for the security of so many people."
Keyrin nodded. "Tell me about it, Counselor." The conversational gambit seemed
to have failed. Keyrin could tell the Counselor was making "small talk" for
the purpose of filling up silence. Apparently, Keyrin didn't care for that.
"Ensign," asked Keyrin, "do you ever worry about not making the grade?
Physically?"
It was not the question that Keyrin expected. The matter of fact way
Stavay asked it indicated that Stavay had dropped the guise of "Counselor".
Aeylria answered, warily. "I try to prepare myself for whatever can
happen. I would say I'm *concerned*, but I would not say that I worry.
I can't worry. It's too *late* to worry. I keep the best shape I know
how, for myself and for my crewmen. Whenever I wonder if it's enough...
I apply myself to the task that much more."
"Counselor?", asked Keyrin, "is this about the mission?" If there were any
doubts in the Counselor's mind, Keyrin would quell them immediately. She
and the security team were *ready*.
"No. It just seems that we're in the same profession. You serve the body,
I serve the spirit. I don't envy you your work."
"Well...thank you, Counselor. I'm sure being a counselor is hard, too."
"Well...sometimes it's hard to be emotionally perfect. Everyone expects
that of a counselor. It's a hard ideal to maintain." Stavay stared out
into space. It seemed that the Counselor was talking to *herself*, rather
than to Keyrin.
For a brief glimpse, Keyrin saw Stavay not as the *Counselor*, but as
another woman trying to do her job. Was the Counselor trying to apologize
to Keyrin? Was Mr. Tats-Marush having a hard time? The Counselor seemed
not nearly as self-assured as before.
Before Keyrin could compose a reply, Brennan walked in. Keyrin returned to
the business at hand. So did Stavay. They forgot about the conversation,
and their minds did not return to it, until much later.
****************************************************************************
Respectfully submitted,
James Bowman
LTJG Stavay Tats-Marush, COUNS
USS CHESAPEAKE
jrbowman@london2.skn.net AND JBowman489@aol.com
All: Back again. :) I meant this to be funnier (the "Little Green Ensign"
has become something of a famous in-joke), but somehow, it didn't turn
out that way. :)
Amy: Sorry to see you leave the CHESAPEAKE family. You know, however, that
we love you and if you care to visit us again, we'd love to see you. All I
ask is that you not be a stranger...and there's always IRC, you know. :)
Takako: Good morning, Captain. The Counselor is right behind you, ready to
give you lessons in Shrevashal any time you want them, but might not be
feeling up to it, right now.
Masako: You can't say that I'm hiding any more, and you now see a little
green ensign. I hope I used Anne right.
Melvin, Fabian: Well, now we know why the OPS officer doesn't greet all new
crewmembers. I would have had Fabian greet ENS Stel-Arenma, but he would
have probably thrown up, too (you know how one person starts to retch in
a crowded room, and it kind of starts a chain reaction).
Naomi: Stavay and David need an excuse to bump into each other.
Christine: Hope to see you on in Sickbay.
Lynnaea: The Counselor's not an iron woman at all, it seems....
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