From: Gershon <jrbowman@london2.skn.net> Date: Mon, 18 Aug 1997 08:46:54 -0500 Subject: USS CHESAPEAKE: Moving Away
MD 14.0730
th'Tellan's quarters
<old stuff>
"I guess typical female Vulcan. You know, smart, beautiful, rather
stubborn, professionally friendly and rather emotionless. There was something
else about her, too. I guess it was the way I could tell she cared about
people. She never showed it outwardly, but you could still tell. Anyway, we
started out as friends, and then a year later we decided we loved each other,
and then it took us a couple of months to admit it because we knew that a
supervisor/employee relationship would cause major problems."
"Is that why you broke up?"
"Not really. It's that.... It's kind of complicated. Somewhat
embarrasing for her, so I'd rather not say. It really doesn't matter, it's the
fact that it happened so suddenly that gets me, I suppose. <Pause.> I'm
sorry, I must sound like a cliched romance novel by now."
"No, it's fine. How long had you two been dating?"
"About a year."
"Have you taken any steps to mourn the relationship."
"I haven't had time. Besides, someone's got to keep emotional
stability, and I get the impression that I'm the only one with that capability.
Maybe, after the mission...." th'Tellan trailed off, and went to focusing on
his glass.
<new stuff>
"It must be difficult having to be the strong one," Tats-Marush
commented.
th'Tellan looked at the counselor with a slightly jaundiced eye.
"Boy, and I thought I sounded cliched. Physical proof that the
counselor always repeats your last statement, prefaced by the words,
'It must be difficult'". th'Tellan smiled, not wanting to give the
impression that he was making fun at the Counselor's expense. "Sorry about
that...."
"Too true. Then again, counselors can't keep their big mouth shut.
Occupational hazard. Sometimes, stating the patently obvious starts
a whole chain of associations rolling. You state something patently obvious,
and the other person feels obligated to fill in the conversational space.
After a while, you learn things you never would have thought."
"I see."
Tats-Marush thought she could see th'Tellan's mental wheels spin.
"Don't become too self-aware now. If you start analyzing everything I say
for hidden meaning, we're not going to get anywhere," she answered with a
smile.
"No message decoding. Gotcha."
She continued, "You've had friendships with other women before, I
take it?"
"Yes, Counselor. Not that I'm against the other kind, but it's
never appealed to me and acts like that are illegal on 52 planets.
<Pause.> You know, sometimes I don't even understand my own jokes."
"When those relationships broke up...whose fault was it? Yours, or
theirs?"
In the back of th'Tellan's mind, he heard a scene that he had tried to
forget so long ago. th'Tellan focused to block the pain, to ignore the
screams. th'Tellan poured another 50 mL, but didn't bother to drink it. The
last thing he needed was to let his past slip after all this time.
"I guess it's been kind of a mix. It's been my fault a couple of
times. You know, I've been young before. I've made some mistakes. But there
are times that it hasn't been my fault, and others where it wasn't completely
my fault...."
"Like this thing with your female friend that you can't tell me about."
"Exactly like it," nodded th'Tellan.
"Well, if it's something that happened to her...I really can't help
you. I can't counsel her through you. That never works."
And her problem wouldn't require counseling, anyway, th'Tellan thought.
th'Tellan wondered if he should clear up the misconceptions; if he should
explain what was going on. No, why make a bad situation worse?
"Dammit. I was going to keep my commbadge open. You could have
whispered the words into my ear, like Cyrano." Come to think of, thought
th'Tellan, that might not be such a bad idea. "I understand what you're
saying...."
"Okay, let's change the topic then. What about friendships? I'm
sure you've had several friendships. When the friendships broke up...whose
fault was it?"
th'Tellan wasn't sure what to say. A lot of times, it was their
fault. At least, he was pretty sure that getting thrown out of the empire
wasn't completely HIS fault. "Uh...despite
outward appearances, Counselor, I'm not a demon with pointed ears. I'm
actually quite a nice guy. By the way, that is classified information,
never to be revealed to the public. <EG> If you reveal it, I will hunt you
down personally."
"Agreed. Describe all of your friendships then."
*Earth and Air!* "All right, Counselor...I don't have a filofax
with me. Let's see. Sari h'Llan, age three. I was three, he was four.
We shared the same tinkertoys. He made a motor engine before I did, so
I was insanely jealous." *Of course, I could hold my liquor better, so
that's a compensation....*
*Earth and Air!* "All right, Counselor...I don't have a filofax
with me. Let's see. Sari h'Llan, age three. <Pause.> Terrific, my first
voluntary counseling session and I'm still asked about my childhood. Anyway, I
was three, he was four.
We shared the same tinkertoys. He made a motor engine before I did, so
I was insanely jealous." *Of course, I could hold my liquor better, so
that's a compensation....Not at age 4, naturally.*
"And that's why the friendship ended?"
"No. He moved to Rhea'll'hinse, with his family."
"And that was your fault, then?"
"You got me. I bought the house personally. What did I have to do
with that? No."
"And that was *his* fault, you're saying?"
th'Tellan got it. "I see. It was no one's fault. The family
moved."
"Right. You never assumed that something was wrong with *you*,
just because Sari moved away."
Right of course. But Marush obviously thinks there's a connection.
"Counselor...I think this is a quite different case...."
"How is it? You've heard about the seven categories of love."
Huh? That 50 mL was beginning to look really tempting right now.
th'Tellan answered, "Actually, in Rihannsu culture, we have three categories.
Friendship-love, parent-love, romantic-love, with words to describe
each type."
"So...which type of love is strongest?"
"None are. They form a triad."
"Right. We'll use your terminology, then. If one person in a
friendship is separated by distance, or by a changing of interests, you
don't blame yourself because the friendship dies. Sometimes you don't
do enough, sometimes the other person doesn't do enough, but sometimes,
friendships die. That's inevitable. Sari moved away. You don't
blame yourself for that.
"Who is your best friend? And for how long was this person your
best friend? Probably, not all of your life. I've had three or four
"best" friends in my life. The other three relationships were lost because
of circumstances I had no control over," Stavay answered.
th'Tellan moved over to the other side of the table. "What you're
telling me, Counselor, offers me little consolation."
"All I'm saying to you is something you already knew...but never
realized. A friendship that lasts a lifetime is very very rare. So is
a romantic relationship. I just wonder if you're blaming yourself. You
implied that she ended the relationship."
"Yes," th'Tellan added, betraying a little emotion, "she did."
"She *moved away*. Not physically, but spiritually. Relationships
end, sometimes, and we can't keep them alive. We can't blame ourselves.
There's such a drive to blame ourselves. It hurts us that we're not
in complete control of our circumstances." Stavay thought about Anne and
her hurts. "I'm just saying...don't blame yourself, Commander. It's not
your fault."
"You don't know the details, Counselor." Maybe if you did, you'd
understand. She moved away because she had to. She didn't want to, but she
had to. And I'm partly to blame.
"Maybe not. But I do know that whatever faults you had, she had
some as well. It was a process of change in the both of you. She changed.
You changed. You broke up."
Understatement of the century.
"Counselor...you have such a gift of stating things with such...
finality. Have you ever considered a job as a funeral director?"
Laughing, Stavay answered, "Like I said...I'm not telling you anything
you don't know. The secret is in getting *you* to realize it."
"I suppose so. Now that I know that relationships die like everything
else does, tell me how to get over it."
Stavay poured another glass for herself. "First...don't cut yourself
off from other people. Your friends want to be able to visit during your
mourning time, if only to offer condolences."
th'Tellan thought about that. He wasn't one to be willing to share his
emotions, even under ordinary circumstances. "Go on."
Continuing, Stavay answered, "Second...keep the communications
lines open to your significant other. She needs friends, too.
"Third...if you're going to change your relationship with this person
from a romantic relationship to one based on friendship, you're going to
have to change your behavior. There are some types of behavior that you
can get away with in a romantic relationship, but not in a relation of
friendship. We all have attention getting behaviors which are charming in
romance, but aggravating in friendship. But vice versa." Pausing, Stavay
asked, "Are you still interested in friendship with this person?"
"Very much so."
"Then keep those friendship lines open." Stavay wanted to mention
that th'Tellan's friend might swing back to a romantic relationship, but
that was too much to add. Don't wave a life preserver at a drowning man
if you have no intention of throwing it was a good rule.
"Actually, Commander...you might have to suffer for a little while.
But...I'll be around, if you need me."
"You're on call 24 hours a day?"
"Don't push it, Sir. I'd still like to be your friend, though...
even if I am a Counselor. I promise not to psychoanalyze you while off
duty, and will take all of your statements at face value."
"That's nice to hear. However, wise man say, 'A suffering man does not
want a solution...he wants sympathy.'"
"Cool. As a Counselor, you'll get a solution. As a friend, you'll
get sympathy. What's wrong with having both?" With that in mind, Stavay
turned and left, trailing her monk's cloak behind her.
th'Tellan thought for a bit. "Uh, Stavay. Thanks. This means a lot
to me. It's not often that I feel better after opening up to someone."
Outside the door, Stavay came to the conclusion that th'Tellan
was probably more personable that he let on. Who knows...maybe it was
time to entrust him with "the secret"? Feeling that the Romulan Ale was
talking a bit loud, Stavay put the cowl over her head and left the
deck.
***************************************************************************
Respectfully submitted,
James Bowman
LTJG Stavay Tats-Marush, COUNS
USS CHESAPEAKE
jrbowman@london2.skn.net
Melvin Pollack
LCDR Avikar th'Tellan, OPS/2O
USS CHESAPEAKE
mpollack@wam.umd.edu
All: Back again. I've cut and pasted and cut and pasted. So any
of Melvin's missed text is my fault.
James's comments:
With regard to the cloak...Stavay has taken to wearing a brown cloak while
off duty (and sometimes, while on duty). It is much like a monk's cloak,
with a long trailing cape and a "cowl", or a cover for the head. It isn't
like a true monk's cowl, which can obscure the entire head (Stavay's head cowl
doesn't cover that much), but it does give the effect of Stavay being
Little Brown Riding Hood.
Other than that, I have no comments. See Melvin's comments for my comments.
Matthew: You're next! And boy, do I have something to tell you! :)
Melvin's Comments:
Mainly, I changed a couple of things to add some details. This is no
offense to James; I'm still hiding a few things that probably would have been
relevant.
Christine: th'Tellan does have his problems with Ennian. Of course, at least
th'Tellan cares enough to keep holding these attacks. In th'Tellan's eyes, Dr
L isn't even worth insulting. No offense.
Masako: If you're keeping on Murray for just a little longer, I'll try to
speed up the surprise timetable.
All: Where's the plot? Come on, guys. You don't wan't th'Tellan to leave
from boredom, do you? <Pause.> On second thought, don't answer that.
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