The Flight Deck for May 2003, Issue 120
From the Bridge:
I am finally done with college. Now let's see if Graduation can kill
me off now....
Hello and welcome to the so-far stormy month of May! We had a
verrrry productive meeting down in Georgetown last month, as you can
see by our "Upcoming Events" section, we have dates and places for
the rest of the year! Are we ambitious or what?
The May meeting is combined with our plane washing on Saturday, May
17th at 10am. As far as I know, the museum is still going to feed
us, but bring drinks and munchies of your choice. We won't be having
a raffle, but stock up on your items anyhoo. Also, is there any
interest in seeing "The Matrix Reloaded" either later that same day
or on Sunday?
In June, we're slated to head up to Chicago on the 14th to visit the
Museum of Science and Industry. And hot diggity dang people, June
14th is one of the museum's "Free Admission" days! Yay! Parking is
8 bucks a vehicle though, so car pooling will be in everyone's best
interest. Stay tuned to this list for further information as it
becomes available.
Hope to see everyone there!
FCAPT Cathy Dailey
********************
Upcoming Events:
May 17th--Grissom Plane Washing, Grissom AFB, 10am
June 14th--Away Mission to Chicago, Museum of Science of Science and
Industry
July 4th-6th--Inconjunction & SFC Midyear Meeting, Indianapolis
July 12th--Annual Fireworks Bash, 6pm
August 16th--Halsey Pool Party, 1pm
September--Grissom Plane Wash Part II, TBA
October 18th--Bonfire & Weenie Roast, 5pm
November 15th--November meeting
December 13th--X-Mas Party & Gift Exchange
*********************
Beamdown Coordinates:
Grissom Air Museum
1. Merge onto I-465 E.
Hope to see everyone there!
**********************
Birthdays & Anniversaries
May 20th--LTCDR Sharon Shaw
May 27th--ADM Desiree Harrington
May 25th--FADM Don & CAPT Janet Dailey's Anniversary
********************
From the "Japanese Shuttle, Launched From Sweden?: Must Be New
Geography" Desk:
Japan to Test Reusable Unmanned Shuttle
TOKYO - Japan's space agency said Wednesday it will test launch a
reusable, unmanned shuttle in Sweden possibly later this month.
The brief flight tests, planned between late May and July 24 at a
facility in Kiruna, Sweden, intend to measure the pressure that can
stabilize the shuttle, which travels at the speed of sound, said
National Space Development Agency spokesman Hiroshi Inoue.
The shuttle, which is much smaller than the U.S. space shuttle, is
the prototype for Japan's 20-year-old program to develop a reusable,
unmanned space vehicle.
The first tests, conducted in October at Christmas Island in the South Pacific,
were successful as the shuttle completed a scheduled 10-minute flight.
Japanese space officials are encouraged by five consecutive
successful launches of their H-2A rocket, which they hope will become
a competitive commercial launch vehicle. The latest liftoff in March
successfully put two spy satellites into orbit.
On Friday, Japan will attempt its first space exploration mission in
more than three years by launching the unmanned Muses-C probe from
Japan's southern island. It will try to bring home the first space
rocks since Apollo astronauts gathered samples from the moon.
********************
From the "Please Leave a Message After the Beep" Desk:
(From a machine at a college dorm:)
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough
money. If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the
telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of
toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms wind milling at
incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant
effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
"Hi. Now you say something."
"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you
can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." beep "Hello. I am
David's answering machine. What are you?"
(From my Japanese friend in Toronto)
He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If
you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with
one of these magnets."
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped
with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you
want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to
the phone.'
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and
their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office
and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave
your name and number and they will get back to you."
"This is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic thought-
recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason
for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about
returning your call."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our
weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably
aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very
sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability
to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel
helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."
"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice
patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use.
Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of
*your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes.
There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff
of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to
further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your
schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the
tone. Thank you."
"Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain
silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us."
********************
end transmission
Go to this page to view older issues of the Halsey Newsletter.
6500 Hoosier Blvd
Grissom Air Force Base IN 46971
2. Take the IN-431/KEYSTONE AVE exit, exit number 33.
3. Merge onto N KEYSTONE AVE.
4. N KEYSTONE AVE becomes IN-431 N.
5. Turn SLIGHT RIGHT onto N MERIDIAN ST.
6. N MERIDIAN ST becomes US-31 N.
7. Follow for roughly 47-48 miles. Look for museum on the left.
