The first thing we see on the start of Sabotage is Dazed raising his world title high above his head. His body drenched in sweat,
he was our world champion but the way he went about has raised questions. Was he in cahoots with Virus? We all saw
how he cheated to beat Rattlesnake but nevertheless, he was the UWA champion. The United States tournament was kicking off.
Fireworks go off and we see the sold out crowd here in New Jersey going wild!
We are taken back outside of the Continental Airlines Arena, we see a convoy of construction trucks that brought in all that dirt
for tonight's Buried Alive match. We see a man who is digging what looks to be a hole in that mound. Who is that? We see Robert Lynn,
wearing a bright yellow hard hat, he climbs the dirt mound, ruining his loafers and business suit. He sees the man and it is none
other than Apocalypse. Lynn is shocked at what Apocalypse is doing!
Lynn- Apocalypse! Why are you digging a hole in this dirt mound! You know the construction crew can do that.
Apocalypse- Let me tell you something Lynn, I'm going to end both Jackal and Gangrul's pathetic careers tonight with my own two hands.
And with my own two hands, I'm going to dig a grave for them befitting two jackasses such as them. Oh and will you pass me that bag?
US Championship qualifying match:Jackal vs.Gangrul vs. Apocalypse
Fans mill around taking a break as bulldozers invade the arena with a ton of dirt for the next match. The preparations are made & the arena lights dim once again as fans hurry back to their seats. Amber steps into the ring to announce the combatants for this next contest.
Amber:"Welcome back fans & thank you for your patience. Our next match will find the survivor advancing to the finals of the US Championship match at our very first PPV event. The only way to end this match is to bury your opponents underneath this towering mound of earth. Making his way to the ring at this time, he is from Detroit Michigan-Ladies and gentlemen:Jackal!"
The crowd is almost silent as Jackal heads down the ramp not even glancing at the towering red dirt several feet away. He slides under the ropes & stands with his arms crossed, looking toward the curtain for his first opponent to be announced. His theme music is cut off by the arrival of Gangrul on the ramp. "Forsaken" pounds across the speakers as the dangerous Gangrul walks the aisle & comes up on the apron. He too ignores the dirt but a cruel smile hovers on his lips as he sizes up his opponent.
Amber:"Joining Jackal in the ring, he hails from Parts Unknown-Gangrul!"
The crowd boos Gangrul and he seems to enjoy the abuse. He calls for Amber's mic which she quickly hands him.
Gangrul:"What's the matter people? Didn't like what happened to Miss Rivers last week? Too bad about that..accidents happen you know. Let that be a warning to all of you."
Gangrul hands Amber the mic again as "Rollin" hits the speakers. Apocalypse runs straight for the ring before Amber has a chance to announce him. All three men start swinging as the bell sounds. Gangrul gets Apoclypse's attention immediately with a vicious rake to the eyes. Jackal doesn't miss out on an opportunity to take the towering Gangrul off his feet however, grabbing the big man & executing a belly to back suplex that shakes the entire ring. Everyone is back on their feet and taking a moment to size up their opponents. Jackal & Apocalypse glance at each other & nod, hitting Gangrul with a double clothesline.
Ian:"Nice teamwork between those 2, it's gonna take an alliance to eliminate any of these men I think. No one will go down without a fight..the stakes are too high."
Rob:"It's all about the gold my man, and each of these men are hungry. A good showing tonight & they could get a shot at the world champ down the road."
Apoc & Jackal put the boots to Gangrul who simply reaches up & jerks both men hard to the canvas. The crowd boos as the hated Gangrul climbs on the ropes & flies down from the top nailing Jackal with a diving headbutt. Apocalypse breaks up Gangrul's party with a quick DDT. He shoves the man out of the way & truns his focus to Jackal. Jackal hasn't been able to clear the cobwebs from the headbutt he received courtesy of Gangrul and is easy prey for the stalking Apocalypse. He pulls Jackal up, spins him around and picks him up for a scoop slam, throwing him hard to the mat. Apoc isn't through yet & drived his knee into the midsection of Jackal. Gangrul tries to get in on the action, but Apocalypse is waiting & clotheslines him over the ropes to the concrete floor. Meanwhile, Jackal is trying to pull himself up by using the ropes, but he isn't fast enough- Apocalyse kicks him in the face with a boot before leaving him in a heap to follow Gangrul to the outside. Gangrul is waiting however and drills Apocalyse with a shovel he retrieved from the huge mound of dirt. Apoc is staggered but charges toward his tormentor unsteadily. He is able to take the bigger man off his feet and they roll around the dirt, carefully avoiding open pit that is waiting for the arrival of the first man to be eliminated. They are joined by Jackal who has managed to pull himself together enough to re-join the action. He charges toward them with a folding chair he brought from ringside. With no thought of his own safety, he dives on both men slamming the chair into the small of Gangrul's back. Gangrul writhes in agony as both men batter him with the chair & shovel, shoving him ever-closer to the gaping pit.
Ian:"Looks like curtains for Gangrul, these guys are showing remarkable teamwork to eliminate one of the favorites in this tournament."
Rob:"Yeah, care to make a wager on who follows Gangrul into the hole? Winner gets first shot at the groupies hanging around the locker room." *smirk*
Ian:"Can we get though one match without you going off on a tangent that has nothing to do with the action?"
Rob:"I don't know where you come from Ian, but where I come from, women ARE the action. I worry about you man, you haven't gone over to the side of the Late Lamented Formiddable Faires have ya?"
Ian:"You are a sad case man, just because I can keep my mind on the action in the ring doesn't mean I can't give the ladies what they want too. Check out Jackal, he's rolling Gangrul into the grave! Both men are slinging dirt on top of the Goth monster."
Both men work furiously to cover the unfortunate Gangrul, Jackal leans over to make sure Gangrul isn't moving when he is taken off his feet by Apocalyse. With the crowd on its feet cheering him, Poc raises Jackal above his head & slams him into the hole with Gangrul. He grabs a shovel and quickly fills the opening with as much dirt as he can. The ref joins him and confirms that both men are indeed 6 feet under. The bell rings and Apocalyse's arm is raised in victory.
Winner of the match & semi-finalist in the US championship match:Apocalypse Ian: Apocalypse was impressive tonight, I'm hearing that we have something going on in the parking lot....
Lights go off for a brief period. Strange noises are heard throughout the arena. Strobe lighting then flickers throughout the arena and the following Image appears on the big screen:
Crowd falls into near silence as "Funeral In Carpathia" By Cradle Of Filth begins to play. A dark Image appears at the top of the ramp and the lights come on to reveal the return of Mayhem!!! Crowd give Mayhem a mixed reaction as Mayhem turns round, microphone in hand to face the crowd. Mayhem, dressed in Black Armani, takes his time walking down to the ring as the crowd becomes increasingly impatient. Mayhem steps through the ropes to red pyros. Before speaking he allows the crowd to calm down just a moment:
Mayhem: Well, well, well this was the last thing I guess you were expecting to open th show werent you?
Crowd Heat
Mayhem: Well, tell you the truth it's the last thing that I expected. Mayhem, 8 time heavyweight champion, one of the last true all rounders that had everything, the retired legend back in a prime time ring after an absence of almost 2 years in active competition. The business has missed me more than I have missed the business I can tell you that much. Since I dont really like talking to people inferior to myself I shall keep this short and sweet and tell you exactly why I am here tonight in the UWA. Then I can take a shower, thrity metres is my limit away from pond life scum that festers in this crowd lemme tell you.
Crowd are not taking to Mayhems return as they were during the entrance stages. Mayhem pauses briefly before continuing:
Mayhem: See there I was just the other day flicking the channels when what do I see. The infamous Dazed with a world title clenched in his hands. Naturally I had to see it before I could believe it. Dazed with a world title is like you people without your cousins as sex toys. However, turns out that night none other than Ms. Venom gave me a call and told me about a new enterprise that her and Grease monkey were conjuring up called the UWA. Now me anr Ronnie go back a long way and I owe her a couple of favours through the years. When she asked me to return I was very pesemistic. There is my in-ring fitness, my desire and of course time constraints that tell me that I shouldnt be here tonight. However, an agreement was reached and I can now say that I am back in competition, if only for a short while on a part time basis. Pleased arent we? I can sense the excitement.
Crowd continue to give Mayhem major heat, more so with this news:
Mayhem:This will indeed be my final fling. After all I have accomplished and all the so called "greats" that I have defeated down the years, UWA will be Mayhems retirement home so to speak hehe. I have lost weight and feel fitter than I ever have before and whislt active competition is a different kettle of fish entirely, Mayhem has always come up with the goods when I had to. I've never let anyone down in my career and have been rewarded with large salaries and prime time performers. Mayhem is back and ready for action. The luxury of picking my opponents is great anf the likes of Rattlesnake, Dazed, Good Ol' Virus and even that little shit Thc. Look over your shoulders girls, because your insecurity is soon to be exposed again. Insomnia is here, if only for a short while. In closing, I leave you with the Mayhem phrase which has stood firm throughout the years. I come in peace, I leave you in pieces! Sweet dreams.
Mayhem drops microphone and heads up the ramp. Camera follows him to a limo that waits outside. Mayhem gets in it and leaves:
Ian: It looks like Mayhem might be on his way to a UWA ring soon!
Rob:Speaking of interesting, I'm hearing that a hearst just pulled in the UWA parking lot! We gotta see what this is about.
The UWA-Screen shows the parking lot where we see a hearst pull into the parking lot. Several people
notice it and glance it's way. The onlookers are concerned at the passengers of that vehicle. Could the two Fairy Flyers be in there?
After their injuries sustained last week, that's a distinct possibility. The hearst pulls into a parking space and two men step
out of the hearst, a cloud of smoke arises from the vehicle as the two men step out. It's THC and Leatherface. What could those two men
possibly have in common? And more importantly, why the hell did they bring a hearst into the arena? We see Robert Lynn head
their way, the two men stop, they let out a small smirk as they let Lynn badger them with questions.
Lynn- Guys, can I have a moment of your time?
Leatherface- We're on borrowed time young one. Go ahead, ask us your questions, ask all that your little heart desires.
Lynn- Uh, ok. Leatherface, in just your first promo back from action, you've already stirred up controversy. UWA was taking
so much heat from the press about the homosexuality laden promo that you aired. Any comments on that?
Leatherface- Is it my fault that people are homophobic? Is it my fault that this society has no problems airing graphic violence, yet
sex is considered a taboo topic? Why is that Lynn? .....You know what nevermind. Obviously, people didn't get the whole point of my
little three way promo. You see, tonight you'll see two men get violated in the worst way. Oh no, but that NOT way Lynn. You
see I've gotten into the heads of my opponents and like a cancer, I've slowly destroyed piece by piece. All that's left tonight
for me is to finish the job!
Lynn- THC, you have a world title match with Dazed. What are your feelings on the events that transpired last week?
Thc- Dazed you did what possibly the dumbest thing you could have ever done. You managed to piss me off even more. Dazed, you must
be Cloud Nine all week huh? The first ever world champion right? I wouldn't get too comfortable with that belt Dazed. Because yes,you
defeated Rattlesnake, yes, you defeated Virus and yes, you defeated Jaguar. But did you defeat ME? FUCK NO! I got screwed out of
the world title because Jaguar couldn't get his damn shoulders off the mat. I got penalized for the fuck-ups of others. But tonight
I get to pay back Dazed, I'm taking his title, I'm taking his pride and just look at what he drove in on Lynn.
Thc points to the hearst
THC- You figure out why we brought that damn thing in and that's what's in store for the CHUMP tonight! And
I know what's your next question so I'll answer that before you even ask it. Why is Leatherface with America's Most Hardcore, well
let's just say that the two of us have a mutual interest in Dazed and Virus. They call themselves, the Worst Case Scenario huh?
I say that's false advertising because you team up two of the sickest, most deranged individuals in this business and you get
a combustible element that's going to make nitro-glycerin look like Cherry Kool-Aid!
Leatherface and Thc walk way from Lynn and head into their locker room to prepare for their matches. We cut to commercial.
US Championship Qualifying match:Jeff Storm vs.Blade vs.Leatherface
Ian: Thc and Leatherface teaming up? That's a partnership that was formed in the depths of hell!
Rob:The entire UWA is in trouble when you team up the two most violent guys in the business.
Amber:"This next match is a three way dance with the winner earning a shot at the US Championship which will be awarded at our up coming PPV event. On his way to the ring at this time, he weighs in at 285lbs & hails from Grand Rapids Michigan. This is Blade!"
"Payback" by Flaw assaults the arena as Blade hits the ring area. He & Kali greet the crowd which gives them a good pop. They embrace & he climbs the steps & enters the ring.
Amber:"His opponent stands a towering 6'5" and weighs 250 lbs. He comes to us from north of the border in Red Derr, Alberta, Canada-this is Jeff Storm!"
Storm heads down the ramp as "Sandstorm" by Darude cuts off Flaw. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction as he joins Blade in the ring. Suddenly, the lights go out and the sound of a chainsaw roars into the almost silent arena. The lights blaze back on as Leatherface charges down through the crowd. Amber runs from the ring without making his introduction. Leather starts to enter the ring with the chainsaw, but officials surrounding the area relieve him of the weapon. The man from Clyde,Texas leers at a frightened Kali but climbs into the ring as the ref signals for the bell.
Ian:"This is going to be a violent one, Rob. You don't ink a match with Leatherface and expect a tea party. Storm & Blade have been known to get out of control as well. I would hate to be the ref for this one."
Rob:"That's because you're a wuss, Matthews. I'm ready for some action. Since Gangrul smacked Electra's pretty face though the glass last week, we aren't likely to see any boobs, that is-unless you've got the key to Veronica's office? I might get lucky & catch her changing hehe."
Ian:"That would rock, because knowing Veronica, she'd smack YOUR head through the window and I might get a real broadcast partner. You are such a pervert."
Rob:"Your point? I like violence & naked chicks, sue me."
Ian:"Don't we all? Anyway-the match is ready to begin so try and focus on the they men involved and get your mind off the ladies."
The three men stare at each other for a brief minute before squaring off. Blade takes a swing at Jeff Storm, who catches his arm and whips him into Leatherface. Leather retaliates with an elbow smash to the face. Blade goes down hard & Leather turns his attention to Storm. He picks him up and lifts him into the air, slamming his spine into the turnbuckle. He follows up with a knee to the groin which drives Storm to his knees. Leather heads right back at him, but Storm levels Leather with a forearm smash right between the legs. Both men take a minute to compose themselves, but in their focus on each other, they have forgotten about the third man in the ring. Blade reminds them of his presence by slamming their skulls together. Storm falls backward in a daze, but Leather seems to thrive on the abuse. He grabs Blade by the leg & bites his calf. The ref tries to regain control of the match by trying to get between the two men. He manages to get Leather to stop chewing on his opponents leg, but the damage is done. Blood drips down Blade's leg as he hobbles toward the corner where Kali is screaming. Leather grins sadistically as he turns his attention to his other opponent. He attacks Storm again, pushing him into the ropes. Leatherface bounces and falls backwards into a suplex.
Ian:"That's unusual-you don't often see Leather complete a move like that, he must be saving up the really bad stuff for a little later."
Rob:"Leather is a Renaissance Man, he does it all. A little blood, a lot of guts & a few classic moves thown in for good measure."
Leather goes for a cover, but Storm kicks out at 2. The masked lunatic drags Storm back up to his feet and connects with two or three right hands to the face before drop kicking him to the mat. He turns back to Blade who is trying to stand on his injured leg. Leather clotheslines Blade who is standing too close to the ropes. He spirals over to the concrete floor where Kali checks on him. Leather slips through the ropes & comes at both of them. A frightened Kali backs away as Leather draws closer. He grabs her by the hair & drags her closer to him. He is stopped from whatever heinous thoughts he had by a well-timed chair shot from Blade. He batters Leatherface unmercifully and blood begins to seep through the back of his mask. Officials help Kali away from the ring area.
Rob:"Buh bye Kali! She doesn't need to be out here but ya gotta agree her leaving is a shame, Ian, I was enjoying seeing her bounce around in that tight outfit, weren't you?"
Ian:"You are supposed to concentrating on color for THE MATCH, remember? But you're right, it's much too dangerous for a woman to be at ringside with that maniac on the loose."
Rob:"Damn Ian, I meant women need to be in the back or preferably at the hotel, waiting on their man to return. Can you picture her wearing some sexy lingerie or some hot leather bondage stuff? That Blade is a lucky bastard!"
Ian:"Let's turn back to action in the ring-this is off the subject."
Rob:"Hot babes are always on my agenda, but okay-let's see what's going on with the Big Three of the UWA though"
Storm has recovered somewhat & climbs up on the top turnbuckle. He nails Blade with a perfect top rope drop kick. He picks up Blade and sets him up for a vertical suplex. The crowd groans as they wait for the sickening crunch of flesh and concrete, but Leather has other plans, probably still pissed about not spilling any of Kali's blood. He slams his head into Storm's midsection, causing him to drop Blade. All three men start brawling again as the ref tries to get them back into the ring. Blade manages to get away & heads back under the ropes, breaking the ref's count. The other two men keep slugging it out, with Storm smashing Leathers face into the steel steps. The battle up the steps and Blade decides to offer Storm a helping hand back into the ring. He grabs him from behind & drags him over the ropes. Storm kisses the canvas as Blade drives his head into the canvas with a facebuster. The sheer force of the impact opens up a cut over Storm's left eye. Leather creeps up behind Blade & starts choking him. The ref tries to break it up, but gets shoved down for his efforts. Storm staggers to his feet, wiping blood from his face & charges into both men. They all end up on the mat & Leather is the first to his feet this time and drags Blade & Storm to their feet. He repeatedly slams their skulls together until the only thing holding them upright is Leather. Both are almost unconcious as Leather nails them both with The Fetish.
Ian:"Holy shit, both men are bleeding profusely from the forehead area, and Jeff Storm's eye is almost swollen shut from the abuse he suffered at the hands of Blade."
Rob:"Those men knew what was ahead when they signed on for this match. Makes me wonder if Shin might be wrong about Veronica..if she signs off on match like this..maybe she's a bit more hardcore than he realizes. Remember her past with the legendary Suicide? She loved every second of that walk on the wildside..that is until he had his brothers Hellshock & Crimsyn bash her skull in with those chairs right before the final show of UTW."
Ian:"I was there asshole..remember? Suicide was over the line that night...I wonder what he's up to these days..whatever it is, I'm sure it's not good."
Rob:"You never know, he could be backstage right now..*L* Scared yet? I hear other than the also curiously missing SPF, he hates no one more than you."
Ian:"We are gonna miss the end of this match if you don't shut the hell up about ancient history..this is a new place..leave the past where it belongs. Holy shit, is Leather doing what I think he is?"
Leatherface picks up Storm & delivers vicious Blade Grinder. Storm lays motionless on the mat as Leather grabs Blade up & hits him with an indentical move. He drags both men to the center of the ring & piles them up. He goes for the cover: 1..2..3!!
Winner of the match and semifinalist for the US Championship:Leatherface Leatherface isn't done though, he throws Blade out of the ring, he grabs the ring steps, he places Blade in a reverse DDT position,
he looks around the crowd and drives Blade neck first into the steel with a Blade grinder. The crowd hears a sickening
snapping sound of bone meeting steel. Leatherface leaves as we see nothing but broken bodies. Blade is not
moving, the EMT's attend to him.
Ian: Someone better get Blade some help, he landed awfully hard on that steel.
We fade out of to see the three heads of UWA gathered around in the office. Shin gets up off his chair and brings up an issue that is near
and dear to his heart, the implementation of hardcore wrestling
Shin- Now listen to me Shaun. All week long, we've been getting e-mails, faxes, phonecalls and letters from the fans that we
start up a hardcore division. You saw the reactions from last week when extremists like Sundark and Slayer tore through our
rental cops like hot knife through butter. You can't fall a deaf ear to the fans, they demand it, you MUST give it to them!
Shaun- Shin, listen to me. Your position may carry alot of power but telling me what I can or can't do is NOT one of your descriptions
You know I detest hardcore wrestling. It emphasizes violence, garbage wrestling over skill and talent, besides that, with all
the punishment that these guys will take from bashing each other with cookie sheets and broom sticks, it'll be a real financial
concern on my part.
V- I must agree with Shaun. Having an occasional weapons match will provide spice to a card but didn't you
ever heard the phrase that "Less is More".
Shin turns to Veronica with a disgusted look on his face. He was being overruled 2 to 1 on a topic that he wanted to be addressed.
Shin, a former wrestler who thrived in the hardcore area was furious. He lashes back at Veronica.
Shin- What the hell would you know about hardcore wrestling? You two are a bunch of sell outs whose main concern is padding their pockets with green papers instead
of giving these people what they want.
Shin storms out of the room, not hearing Veronica's retort.
Veronica- Why you son of a!
Shaun- Calm down Miss Venom. I think our dear Commissioner will reverse his stance on hardcore wrestling. He wants to his skull
bashed in so bad? He just might get his wish!
Veronica- I think I know just the person for the job. Come Shaun-O, we have much to discuss.
We see a white limosine slowly pull into the parking lot of UWA. The license plates read
"Hollywood", the windows are tinted and numerous road agents, staff members and security circle around the limo. The head security
guard of the Continental Airlines stops the driver, he lights a flashlight in the face of the driver. The driver lets down his
window. The guard asks him what his busines and who the passenger was. The driver lets out an arrogant smirk, he tosses the guard
a manila envelope with a yellow star on it with the initials "JJ" on it. The guard looks confused, the driver tells him to open it up.
The guard complies, he opens the manila envelope to find some security clearance papers with three signatures on it. It reads
"Shaun Dupree, Veronica Venom, Shin". The guard clears his throat, his face turns red with embarrasment, he lets the limo pass. We are taken back to
ringside where we see Ian and Rob with a confused look on their faces.
Ian: Who in the world could be in there? Last week a Hummerlimo yielded Proteus and DTM, two of the hottest
free agents in the wrestling market. They made a huge impact last week and they have a tag war tonight.
Rob: No offense to DTM and Proteus but we've been hyping them all week and they haven't exactly been up to snuff, this week.
But I am intrigued on who could be in that white limo, it had Hollywood plates. Maybe it's some big shot actor or movie producer.
Ian: We can only speculate but whoever is in there had papers with the Big Three's signatures on it.
Rob: I smell trouble Ian.
A driver, short and stout (Where is his handle?) runs out frantically from inside
his diver seat to open the back door. Slowly emerging,, a young man, perhaps twenty five years of age or so, steps
out from the limousine and shakes his head, allowing his flowing blonde hair to blow gently in the wind. The driver
nods his head, while Jonny flicks his wrist, gesturing for the fellow to shoo.
As the limo pulls away, we see the rest of the man's body. His well-constructed figure is shrouded in a glittering black robe, with the word "Defiler" stitched across the back in silver, a pair of sleek black sunglasses conceal his icy blue eyes, eyes that drive women to orgasms and men to dire fear. He turns around, now, to face the building, and smirks.
Jonny Johnson: Underground Wrestling… A… What the hell does the "A" stand for? (Pondering) Huh… (Shrugging his shoulders) I suppose it really isn't important is it?
He begins strutting toward the doors, stopping right before he reaches the glass. Quickly, he snaps his fingers, and seemingly out of nowhere, a young serving maid approaches him.
Serving Maid: Yes, Milord?
Jonny Johnson: (Pointing toward the Door in disgust) Open the damn door for me, wench.
The maid bows her head and begins to push the door open for him.
Serving Maid: Anything you wish, Milord!
She pushes the door all the way open and stops, bowing her head as he crosses her path. Once in doors, he stops and places his wrist out, looking away as the young maid drops down to a knee and kisses the top of his hand.
Jonny Johnson: You're dismissed, love. Now be a doll and sca-daddle, yeah?
With those words, she pushes through the door and runs off, not to ever been seen again. Jonny, in the meantime, walks down the halls, and as he turns the corner, is immediately blinded by a series of flashing lights.
Jonny Johnson: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! What is this!
Reporter: We're the media!
Jonny Johnson: (Enlightened) Ahh… Here to do an interview with the next best thing since sliced bread, yours truly… Jonny, Mr. D-E-F-I-L-E-R, Defiler, Johnson? (Flashing a smile)
Media Members: (Mumbling excitedly) Next best thing since sliced bread… Wow!!! So… So original! So fresh! Make sure you get that down!!
Reporter: So Mr. Johnson, why the UWA? You're such a storied athlete so why third rate piece of garbage federation like this?
Jonny Johnson: (Pondering) Honestly? I do not know… I think I may have been too enthralled with the lucrative offer they put on the table. (Laughing) And you know how that can be!
Everyone laughs
Random Media Person: We sure do, Jonny!
Jonny Johnson: (Interrupting, though realizing what he said was really funny) No, but seriously, all amazing jokes aside… I'm here to make these people better, you know? I was watching them struggle… You know, being in between ridiculously high paying jobs. (Side tracking) You know, one company was actually offering me money to sit around on my ass and show up at couple shows… Goes to show you the power of the Jonny draw, eh? (More LOUD laughter) Oh, but I digress. Basically, to answer your question, I'm here to make this federation look good, put it on the map… etceteras… same old, same old.
Reporter: (Writing down the answer to the question, while proceeding) And one last question really quick… Being a random reporter, we're required to ask if you have any goals to win the world title, and you're required, by contract, to say something stupid that makes you look like an idiot so everyone can scoff at you and blow you off as an opponent.
Jonny Johnson: (Sighing) Okay… umm… Where to start… This may be a difficult role… All right… I'm ready…
A director from God knows where storms on to the scene with a small board and clicks it!
Director: AND ACTION!
Jonny Johnson: (Looking like a tough ass) Dazed, I will kick your ass and be world champion because you could never beat me cause I'm too good unlike you who can suck my big toe if you smell what I'm cooking jabroni… what? If you smell what I'm cooking! I will be world champion and also Dazed I will beat you to be world champion because you're not good and I am good! Also, if anyone would like to form a stable with me that would be great… I am an Xtreme wrestler! And I am that damn good! So play the GAME and smell what I'm cooking!
The Director appears again!
Director: And cut! That's a rap!
Female Reporter: (Impressed) Wow, that performance was awe-inspiring. It almost seemed like you belonged here for a minute. (Looking nervous) Hey do you think you and I could have promiscuous sex like sometime in the near future?
Jonny Johnson: (Flashing a smile) I can try to pencil you in, baby, okay?
Female Reporter: (Giddy) Okay! Thanks! (Runs off quickly)
Jonny Johnson: (Sighing impressed with himself) Is there anything better? I mean really?
With a strut in his step, he continues to head down the hall.
Ian: That's Johnny Johnson! What's he doing here?
Rob: Flaherty mentioned the COWO in his 3rd degree promo, is this man one of the nightmares that he was hinting at?
Johnson would be a HUGE signing for the UWA if that's what he's here for!
As Johnson is walking, he is cut off at the pass with Eric Flaherty whose
dressed in street clothes, and just got done being chewed out by the Commissioner! Johnson takes off his sunglasses and both
men look each other in the eye. Flaherty speaks.
Flaherty: Listen up Johnson, you think you can come in here and think you're Hot Shit?I've worked
with you before in the past and I wasn't that damn impressed. Seeing as I made my way here to this shithole town only to
find that my match is cancelled. I want a match with someone, what do you say Johnny?
One of Johnson's bodyguards clubs Flaherty in the back of the head with a slapjack, the big man
is knocked out in one blow. Johnson stands over him and speaks.
Jonny Johnson: You have your match Mr. Enigma, but you'll have to wait until next week to receive
your beating. I think it's time for you to get motivated. Look at you,
a future star in this business now laying at my feet. How utterly sad.
We are taken back to ringside where Amber makes the ring intros!
Slayer vs MAC (Weapons match)
Ian:We have a United States tournament qualifying match and as if that wasn't big enough, there
are four trash cans in each corner of the ring filled with various weapons.
Rob: Nothing like seeing two men bash each other's skulls in with weapons. You got to love this kind of match. Take it away sweetie-pie!
Amber: From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in tonight at 225 pounds, he spreads the Sickness, this is SLAYER.
"Proven" by Hatebreed hits the speakers as Slayer comes out to a mixed reaction. He heads down to the ring, he takes one of the
trash cans and tosses it in the ring. He grabs a road sign and is waiting for his opponent. Amber:From the Hells Kitchen of New York City, weighing in at 225 pounds, Michael Anthony Christian.
"Grimey" By Violator F/ Nore hits the speakers as MAC also comes to mixed reactions, he sees Slayer armed with a road sign, so he grabs
a weapon from the trash can, he decides a cookie sheet the best weapon, he slides in the ring and the two start brawling immediately.
Amber scurries out of the ring.Slayer jabs Christian in the midsection with the road sign, Christian doubles over and Slayer rears back and drives the road sign into the skull of Christian. Slayer drops the road sign in the middle of the ring, he picks up Christian, Irish whips the New Yorker, he bounces back and Slayer does a drop toe hold causing Christian to hit face first on the road sign. Slayer grabs the cookie sheet, puts it behind his back and Slayer drops the leg with the assist from the cookie sheet across the face of Christian. Slayer is starting this match on a big time roll. Slayer now puts the cookie sheet across the chest of Christian, he hops on the top turnbuckle in one motion, he attempts a big splash off the top but all he hit was canvas!
Ian: No water in the pool there. Slayer is a risk taker and that was one risk that didn't pay off.
Rob: Tell us something we don't know genius. Looks like MAC has something in mind with that cookie sheet and it's not baking Nestle Tollhouse cookies!
Christian grabs the cookie sheet and road sign, he puts a weapon in each hand and clobbers Slayer with it.Slayer is dizzy but not going down, Christian still armed with those weapons, he bounces off the ropes and in a bell clapping motion, and he smashes both weapons into the side of Slayer's head. Christian now raising the bent weapons that elicits some boos from the sold out crowd here in Jersey. Christian picks up Slayer, he sends him to the corner back first, Christian sprints into the corner and follows it up with a running dropkick that caught Slayer right in the chin. Christian now going to the other corner, he dumps the trash-can completely of its contents. Two steel chairs fall out of the pile and catch the attention of the New Yorker, he sets up the chairs in the middle of the ring facing each other, he picks up the fallen Slayer, Irish whip to the ropes as Slayer bounces back, Christian throws him over his shoulder in a backdrop and Slayer crashes through the chairs causing them to bend. Slayer is writhing in pain and clutching his back.
Ian: This match has been nothing but a slug-fest, it looks like the tide has turned to Mac's corner.
Rob: But the thing with hardcore matches is that with all that crap in the ring, you can easily injure yourself even when you have the advantage. MAC better press on, Slayer is one hardcore mofo!
Christian now kicks out the bent up weapons out of the ring, he's yelling at the fans that it's time to wrestle. Christian picks up Slayer, he wraps his arms around the chest of Slayer and executes a Northern lights suplex, the ref counts 1, 2 but wait! Christian rolls Slayer sideways into the mat, he's picking him up for another Northern lights and again Slayer is dropped into the canvas, Christian rolls through again and hits another Northern lights suplex, this time he's in a bridge position, the ref counts 1, 2 and Slayer kicks out. The crowd lets out a small pop for the impressive triple northern lights suplex display. Christian though wastes too much time, Slayer connects with a jumping super kick that snaps Christian's head back. Slayer with a quick jab to the midsection, he grabs Christian's head, he ducks down and drives Christian's jaw into his own skull. Nice jaw breaker by Slayer! Slayer now goes to the outside, he tosses in a second trash can, Slayer picks up a guitar from the rubble, he's playing it as if he's in a rock and roll concert. Christian turns around and gets a guitar smashed over his head! The crowd starts a loud "UWA" chant!
Ian: Oh damn! Slayer just ROCK and ROLLED Mac's world with that guitar.
Rob: Yeah, he really played a tune that Mac will never forget. Damn Ian, if we keep saying any more lame cliché's I'm going to shoot myself. Anyways, Slayer is really taking it to Mac, he's like a house of fire.
Ian: (laughs) You should listen to yourself sometime.
Special stipulation: Buried alive match
