HERE COMES THE COMMISH...

After his intervention in booking tonight's main event on the spot a week ago, we expected to see UWE Commissioner Robert Gordon early on. And sure enough, as soon as I welcomed the fans, Saliva's "King of My World" kicked in and the Commissioner entered the Extreme Arena.

He informed us first, that tonight's match between Tonya Holvin and Amy Adams was getting, in his words, tweaked. He decided that since both Amy and Tonya were quarterfinalists in the tournament, that the quarterfinal round of the Women's Television Title Tournament would start early with those two going at it.

When the crowd quieted after that announcement, he dropped another bombshell. Only one slot remained in the TV Title Tournament. Originally, it was meant for both Heather Harte and Beckie Adams to be allowed to enter, but their scuffles prevented that. So, only one would be allowed to enter the TV Title Tournament... the one who's team won tonight's main event!

Never a quiet night in the Extreme Arena.

UWE WOMEN'S TELEVISION TITLE TOURNAMENT
PRELIMINARY ROUND MATCH
"Rising South" Rachel O'Haire vs. "Pure Country" Josey Allen

Our first match would start off the TV Title Tournament contests and as Referee Tammy Young entered the ring, the words, "... well... they call me southern thunder," started Hank Williams, Jr.'s "Southern Thunder," the crowd nearly boo'd the Virginian debutante, "Rising South" Rachel O'Haire right out of the building. The UWE Madhouse graduate entered the ring and then, the crowd came to life.

The drums and cymbals that start Lynard Skynard's "I Ain't the One" came across the speakers and in came one of the independent stars looking for a chance shine in the UWE's spotlight, "Pure Country" Josey Allen. Few knew exactly what to make of the Iowa native, but seeing as she was facing the debutante, they knew enough to pull for her.

The two locked up and Rachel took the advantage, but not for long. An Irish whip sent Josey to the ropes. She ducked a clothesline attempt, then a backelbow. Then, she jumped to the middle rope and springboarded back, clotheslining the Viriginian out of her boots. She pulled Rachel up and sent her into the ropes, catching her with a spinebuster, but a cover only drew a two count.

"Pure Country" waited for the southerner to rise, snuck behind, and brought her crashing down in a FARMER'S ROLL, again drawing a two count. Josey immediately went into another FARMER'S ROLL, this time getting a two and a half. Her inability to finish off Rachel O'Haire, who was obviously in a world of trouble, frustrated the Iowa girl and she threw "Rising South" out of the ring.

Unfortunately, Rachel's temper got the better of her. As Josey followed her out, the so-called Southern Belle nailed her low and threw her into the ringpost head first. Tammy Young jumped out of the ring, trying to seperate the competitors, but Rachel was going off. She rammed Josey against the ring steps and then grabbed a chair. Rachel swung for the fences, nailing Josey with the backrest part of the folding chair, literally separating from the rest of the chair.

Tammy Young had seen enough. She called for the bell and Rachel O'Haire turned on her quickly. I announced the DQ victory for Josey Allen and called the medics out as Rachel chased Tammy Young back into the ring. Chair in hand, she bullied Referee Young back to the corner, then tried to take her head off with the chair, but Young ducked and the debutante hit the ringpost. Jamming herself, Rachel dropped the chair, jumping, ducking, and cradling her hands in pain. When she turned back toward Young, the UWE's only female official DDT'd "Rising South" on the dropped chair. In UWE, it seems, even the refs are extreme.

UWE WOMEN'S TELEVISION TITLE TOURNAMENT
PRELIMINARY ROUND MATCH
"The Perfect 10" Pam Packard vs. "The Classic" Carla Smith

As is becoming custom, things move quickly in UWE and as the medics got Josey Allen back to the locker room, under her own power, thank goodness, Referee Nick Finnegan jumped in and the words "... now I know why you want to hate me..." echoed throughout the Extreme Arena. Limp Bizkit's "Take A Look Around" played and out walked "The Perfect 10" Pam Packard.

No doubt, the girl from Newport Beach, California is certainly gorgeous... that is... as long as she doesn't talk. But, seeing as there's no chance of that, she's still a looker and she knows it. Sauntering into the ring, drawing boos, catcalls, and the occassion whistle, from the crowd, we waited to see the woman that would face this alumnus of the Madhouse.

The ever familar sounds of "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor hit and indy star Carla Smith, called "The Classic" by some because of her old school style, entered the Extreme Arena to a rather lukewarm reception. Fans came to UWE to see knock down, drag out fights, not 1 hour counterfests, but time would tell for the talented rookie from the indy scene.

The bell rang and the match started with a quick pace. "The Perfect 10" hit a deep arm drag, then looked for a powerslam. But, Carla blocked and took Pam over in a hard belly-to-belly suplex. Obviously, being the student of old school that she is, Carla found a few tapes of the agile 5'10" Californian. She immediately went to the legs, looking to neutralize Pam's height and agility with the figure-four leglock.

Pam made it to the ropes and Referee Nick Finnegan called for the break. Then, "The Classic" held back, the sprung into action as the Newport Beach native reached her feet, going into the VICTORY ROLL. Finnegan, somewhat out of position, only got to a two. When Pam reached her feet she immediately started argueing with Finnegan, complaining about a fast count. When she turned back to Carla, she got rolled up in the INSIDE CRADLE and Carla, the technician, got the three count. Straight up, Packard got outwrestled.

UWE WOMEN'S TELEVISION TITLE TOURNAMENT
QUARTERFINAL MATCH
"Tinsel Town" Tonya Holvin vs. "Amazing" Amy Adams

Thanks to Commissioner Gordon, the first of the TV Title Tournament quarterfinal matches was next, and with Referee Randall Sparks in the ring, we were ready. Jimi Hendrix's "Voodoo Chile" kicked in and out walked "Tinsel Town" Tonya Holvin... with "Avenue's Own" Tiffany Park. It's beginning to seem that you don't get one without the other.

When the guitars of Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water" hit, out came "Amazing" Amy Adams. The crowd erupted for the favorite to run the tournament. Amy saw T.N.T. in the ring, but didn't seem worried. They called her down, but the elder Adams stopped half-way down the ramp. She pointed back to the stage and appeared to be waving someone out, when music hit.

"... can you teach me how to fly..." Black Lab's "Learn to Crawl" hit and the woman Tonya Holvin beat to advance, "The Titan Doll" Naomi Paul walked out. T.N.T. went ballistic as the Doll and Amy high-fived on the ramp. This match, whether T.N.T. liked it or not, was going to be one-on-one and Naomi Paul was going to see to it.

The odds now even, Tonya looked for other shortcuts. Right from the bell, she tried to rake Amy's eyes, but the Kansas City native cut her off. Quickly, Amy pulled her in and hit a belly-to-belly. Amy circled around her downed foe and went for the pay window early, hitting the FARMER'S ROLL. Naomi Paul kept Tiffany Park at bay, but Tonya still kicked out.

Amy pulled the girl from Hollywood up and went for a spinning neckbreaker, but "Tinsel Town" held the ropes and the "Amazing" one hit the mat hard. Holvin collected herself as Amy pulled herself up. Tonya moved in, raking Amy's back. Then, Tonya looked for a spinebuster, but the technician blocked and brought Tonya down hard with an inverted atomic drop.

It seemed that Amy had an answer for every piece of Tonya's offense. She whipped "Tinsel Town" into the turnbuckle and charged in, but Tonya nailed her with a boot in the face, then followed with an atomic drop of her own. She whipped Amy to the ropes, but Amy ducked the clothesline and came off the far-side with a Lou Thesz Press. She got the 1... 2... and Tiffany Park broke the count.

Naomi Paul circled the ring, but caught a right hand from Tiffany. "Avenue's Own" jumped in the ring as Tonya recovered and grabbed the distracted Amy from behind. Tiffany charged with a clothesline, but Amy dropped south and Tiffany Park took out her own partner. Tiffany looked to be in shock. She turned around, ready to pummel Amy Adams, but was met by a double superkick from Amy Adams and the recovered Naomi Paul.

Naomi hit a suicide dive on Tiffany and kept her out of the ring as "Amazing" Amy moved in and hooked her patented ST. LOUIS STRETCH on the downed "Tinsel Town" Tonya Holvin. The only thing Tonya could do was tap out. "Amazing" Amy was one step closer to the UWE Women's TV Title.

INTERMISSION

When intermission rolled around, it was time to entertain the crowd during the break. That's when I asked for a performer out of the back to come out and help me out, and to my surprise, ZZ Top's "La Grange" started playing over the speakers and out came Emma Colt and Kelly Winchester, "The Young Guns."

First, we let the fans get in a few questions for the tag team stars...

FAN: "Hey Emma, Kelly, is there gonna be a tag title tournament, and are you two it?"
EMMA COLT (EC): "Yeah, there is gonna be a tag tournament, for the UWE Women's Universal Tag Team Titles. 'Course, they could save everybody a little time and just give us the belts now."
(everyone laughs a little)
KELLY WINCHESTER (KW): "Seriously, yes, there is a tournament and we are in it. They told us it'll start the week of the TV Title Tournament finals."

FAN: "Hey girls, did yous two graduate from da Madhouse?"
KW: "Nah. We was trained in an indy promotion down in Texas where the Commissioner, Robert Gordon, used to work. When we got hired by UWE Promotions, we asked called us about coming up here."

FAN: "Why do you two ladies have such a heavy dislike of T.N.T.?"
EC: "Tonya and Tiffany? Where do we start?"
KW: "Look, we are easy to get along with, but we believe ya earn what ya get. At the meeting that all us UWE wrestlers were at a few weeks ago, where we all met each other and the officials and stuff, they wanted to know where the belts were."
EC: "Yeah, and when the Commish told them they were being finished and hadn't been delivered yet, they told ol' Robbie boy to just send them to them, and they weren't joking like we were earlier."
KW: "If they want those belts, they'll find out the road to them goes right through the heart of Texas."

After fielding the questions, The Young Guns called three young fans in the ring for a little contest. Emma and Kelly showed them how to use a lasso. Then, they Kelly hopped up on the top turnbuckle in one corner and each kid took turns trying to rope Kelly, with Emma's help. The last one, an 11-year old girl from Greenville, North Carolina won. She and 4 guests will be heading for the ASG Arena in Anderson, South Carolina in just 2 short weeks for the debut of UWE Terror, the TV show for the men's half of UWE.

Of course, the autograph session followed, with The Young Guns, The Starlight Express, "Pure Country" Josey Allen, and "Amazing" Amy Adams all chatting and signing autographs with the fans.

UWE WOMEN'S TELEVISION TITLE TOURNAMENT
PRELIMINARY ROUND MATCH
"Superbrat" Jennifer Summers vs. Corporal Miranda Wright

It was time for action again, and the TV Title tournament continued on. Referee John Patrick stepped into the ring as Saliva's "Superstar" and I announced the woman known as the "Superbrat." Jennifer Summers, arrogant as always, made her way to the ring, confident that she could more than handle the oldest rookie in UWE.

Her music faded and the lights dimmed, as footsteps fell, a bell rang, and the spoken words, "You do the crime, you do the time," kicked off the song "You're Gonna Pay" and the former Michigan State Highway Patrol officer, Corporal Miranda Wright, stepped through the curtain. Both rookies, this was a geniune chance to prove themselves and get a step closer to championship gold.

The bell rang and we were underway. They went into the collar-and-elbow and quickly the Corporal took the advantage. First, she hooked the "Superbrat" in a hammerlock, then went into a full nelson. But, Jennifer shocked the Corporal and managed to power out of the painful hold.

Jennifer sent Miranda hard to the corner and charged in with a running clothesline. With Miranda stunned, she sent the Corporal to the opposite corner and rushed in, nailing a running dropkick against turnbuckles. The Michigan native was in trouble and hurt.

With a firm advantage in hand, the "Superbrat" began to play to the crowd a little more. Bad move. She pulled the Corporal up, but Miranda grabbed the waist of the brat's tights and fell back, sending Jennifer flying out of the ring. Referee Patrick started his count, but the Corporal rolled out and sidewalk slammed Jennifer on the concrete, then rolled her back in the ring.

Her woman hurt, the Corporal stalked Jennifer. As she stood, Miranda caught her and cinched in her version of the kata hajime, the LOCK-UP. The brat tried to fight it, but the Corporal fell to the mat with her and scissored her body, ensuring the brat wouldn't reached the ropes. Jennifer could only do one thing, tap out.

Though she took her share of the punishment, the oldest rookie in UWE pulled out the win and advances on in the TV Title Tournament. Looks like the brat's got to go back to the drawing boards.

HANDICAP MATCH
Dreamer vs. The Cali Connection

UWE's Innovator of Extreme said last week that she could handle both members of The Cali Connection without a partner. So, the Commissioner booked a handicap match, where the Connection would act as a tag team while Dreamer went it alone. Referee Tammy Young drew the short straw to call this match and as the music started, so did I.

"... just like before..." came across the speakers and with Linkin Park's "One Step Closer" playing, out came Dreamer. With her Singapore Cane and barbed wire ball bat both in hand, she made her way down. But quickly, Tammy Young headed her off in the aisle. Young took both hardcore weapons and had them sent back. Evidentally, she watched the tape from last week.

The Innovator slide into the ring and then, David Lee Roth's version of "California Girls" came on and out came "Malibu" Jane and "Venice Beach" Vicky, The Cali Connection. Playing to crowd, slapping hands, The Cali Connection were obviously the crowd favorites, but Dreamer wasn't impressed.

Jane jumped to the apron and took up position in corner as Vicky springboarded into the ring. Young called for the bell and the match was on. Vicky went for it early, charging with a running dropkick, but Dreamer sidestepped and Vicky crashed to the canvas.

Dreamer shoved Vicky into a neutral corner and nailed her with an open-hand chop, then looked for a left jab, but the Venice Beach native blocked it. She brought Dreamer down in a drop toehold, then pulled her over and tagged in "Malibu" Jane. The Cali Connection were playing to their long suit, tag team wrestling.

"Malibu" came in, hit a pair of arm drags, but Dreamer blocked the attempt at a hiptoss, then nailed her with a right hand. Dreamer went up top and came off for a double axe handle, but dropkicked her out of the air and went for the cover, but only got two count.

Jane pulled Dreamer over and tagged in Vicky, then sent Dreamer into the ropes. Off the rebound, "Malibu" caught Dreamer in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and held her for "Venice Beach" Vicky to springboard in with a legdrop, hitting the WIPEOUT. Vicky made the cover, but somehow, Dreamer still kicked out.

Vicky was in disbelief, but continued press on, hitting an inverted DDT. Then, she sent Dreamer for the ride and set for a back drop, but Dreamer kicked her in the face. Vicky telegraphed the move and Dreamer made her pay. Dreamer tried to go to the air for a Thesz press, but Vicky fell back and hot shot her across the top rope.

This time, Vicky went to the turnbuckle and came off with a missile dropkick, then tagged in Jane. The Californian whipped Dreamer into the ropes and nailed her with the Malibu punch. She hit a second Malibu punch, then a stnading dropkick and tagged out to Vicky.

The tag team fluidity of The Cali Connection was putting Dreamer in five kinds of trouble. Vicky took Dreamer up and hit a sit-out powerbomb, then went up again, but got caught and slammed off to the floor by the resiliant Dreamer. At the 8 count, Vicky climbed back in, hurting bad. Unfortunately, Dreamer caught her wind.

As Vicky tried to stand, Dreamer hit a flowing DDT and went for the cover, but Vicky got a shoulder up. Dreamer locked in the SWEET DREAMS, but "Venice Beach" managed to fight to her corner and make the tag. Dreamer backed off and "Malibu" rushed into a spinebuster slam.

Then, as Vicky got to her feet on the apron, out of nowhere came "The Perfect 10" Pam Packard... with the barbwire ball bat that belongs to Dreamer. Referee Tammy Young saw the shot and called for the bell, much to Dreamer's surprise. She turned and saw Pam Packard hitting Vicky with the bat again.

As conferred with Referee Young and announced the match to be a no contest, Dreamer left the ring and stood face-to-face with Pam Packard, then smiled and nodded, apparently approving of her actions. Pam handed the bat back to it's owner, and that has the last thing she should have done. Dreamer laid her out with the bat and left, with Vicky and Pam bleeding freely.

MAIN EVENT
"Heartbreaker" Heather Harte & Star vs.
"Modern Day Country Girl" Beckie Adams & "The All-American" Cindy Majors

The main event brought some high stakes with it tonight. With only one slot remaining in the UWE Women's TV Title tournament, Commissioner Gordon ordered that Heather Harte or Beckie Adams, which ever one's team wins, will be given the final slot in the tournament. Having explained that to the crowd and with Referee Nick Finnegan in the ring, it was time.

Grimspoon's "Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck" brought out one of the members of The People's Army. Star, the native of Beijing, China, came to the ring, looking like a hungry wolf. She knew that the woman that was promised to drive her and the Army out would be opposite her tonight.

"... shot through the heart... and you're to blame... darlin', you give love a bad name..." screamed across the speakers, kicking off Bon Jovi's "You Give Love A Bad Name," and out walked the "Heartbreaker" Heather Harte. Boos and catcalls fell on the Edmonton, Alberta native as she entered the ring and she didn't look happy at all as she stood face-to-face with her forced tag team partner.

However, Heather and Star looked like they were on the same page for this match as the words "... stand up and be counted... for what you are about receive..." started AC/DC's "For Those About to Rock." Cindy Majors and Beckie Adams came through the curtain together and the crowd erupted for "The All-American" and the "Modern Day Country Girl." They stepped into the ring as Ref Finnegan got Star out of the ring, with Heather Harte starting for her team.

Cindy Majors started for her team and the match was on. They locked up and Cindy tried for a belly-to-belly, but Heather cut her off and hit her with a hard clothesline. The "Heartbreaker" whipped her into the corner and drove home a shoulder. Then, Star held Cindy in place as Heather charged, but the "All-American" ducked and Heather collided with Star, knocking Star to floor.

Cindy went across and tagged Beckie and in came the "Country Girl." Heather tried to kick Beckie, but Beckie caught the leg and went for a dragon screw leg whip. Heather rolled through the move and tried for a chop, but Beckie ducked and caught Heather in the Farmer's Roll.

Tagging in Cindy, the two fan favorites sent Heather into the ropes and hit a double flapjack that hurt the Canadian native. Cindy went the work, DDT'ing the "Heartbreaker," and following up with a whip to the turnbuckle. Cindy charged in, but Heather moved and the "All-American" caught nothing but turnbuckle.

Cindy bounced out and Heather dropped her with a clotheline, then tagged out to Star. The Beijing native came in and nailed Cindy with a spinning thrust kick, followed by a crescent kick and a tiger driver. Another quick tag and in came Heather Harte. "The All-American" was in a bad way.

Heather dropped Cindy, then went for the figure-four, but Cindy shoved her off and managed to make the tag to a fresh Beckie Adams. The "Country Girl" came in like a house of fire, hitting a Farmer's Roll and a hurricarana. But when she went for another Farmer's Roll, Heather dropped her back, stunning the Kansas girl.

Heather was up quickly and went for a standing moonsault, but Beckie moved and pulled her up, leg whipping her toward the corner and tagged in Cindy Majors. The Philly girl sent Heather to the corner, but the "Heartbreaker" reversed and nailed her foe with a hard clothesline.

Heather sent Cindy into the ropes and sent her into a flip with a huge clothesline. Then, with Star distracting the ref, Heather dropped the "All-American" with her illegal HEARTACHE. Going for the cover, Heather hooked the leg, but Star held Referee Finnegan too long. It bought Cindy precious seconds to breathe and she got a foot on the ropes.

Heather slapped Beckie, drawing her in, and while Nick Finnegan and hit the HEARTACHE again and went for the cover. Finnegan got into position... 1... 2... and Beckie broke the count, saving Cindy. It looked like it was only a matter of time, with Heather heading up top. But, Cindy stumbled up and into the ropes, causing the "Heartbreaker" to fall and crash to the mat.

Cindy, nearly wasted, made the tag and in came Beckie Adams. With Heather down, Beckie ran to the corner and up the ropes, then came off with her spectacular 450 splash, THE BARN BURNER. Star came in and blew right by the ref and broke the pin, but Cindy, still staggered, managed the hit Star with a spear, carrying them both to the floor.

Heather was still down, and Beckie went to the top again. AIR KANSAS took to the sky and Beckie's patented version of the frog splash managed to bring an end to this match and put Beckie in the TV Title tournament. Beckie rolled out to help Cindy and the two celebrated on their way to the back as we went off the air.