Dear Cat Owner,
Following are instructions on the best way to bathe
your cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Don't get any part
of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
Sincerely,
The DOG
There was once a competition to find out who were the smartest cops in the world. Three entries are recieved.
They were from the americans, the russians and the pakistanis.
The organisers to test their skills released 3 lions in a jungle and told each one of them to find the lion, one at a time.
First the americans went and returned with a dead lion in 5 hours.
Next went the russians and returned with a live lion in 10 hours.
Then the pakistanis went. 10 hours went by, 20 hours went by, 2 days went by, a week passed.....
But the pakistanis did not return, so the organisers and all the cops went in search for them.
Deep in the jungle they heard noises which sounded like some animal was being beaten, When they went nearer they saw that....
A dog was hanged on a tree and all the pakistani cops were beating him with sticks and yelling at him the following :
" C'mon accept that you are a lion, c'mon say that...."
One day a florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service." The florist is happy, and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank You card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A cop goes for a haircut, and he also goes to pay the barber, and the barber replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service." The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door. An Indian software engineer goes for a haircut, and he also goes to pay the Barber, and barber replies, "I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you. I am doing a community service." The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there.......A dozen indian software engineers waiting for a free haircut......
