I once had a fish named hairy scrotum. He didn't really look like a hairy scrotum, but I thought would be a funny name. He ate his babies. It was kinda' weird. So anyway, I'm now a student at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. I have lots of weird friends, none of which are named hairy scrotum. Some of my friends go to a different college, that of Mount Holyoke, or "MoHo" as we like to call it. Their names are Tori and Kat and Courtney (yet again, no hairy scrotums). Tori is Asian, and Kat is a WASP, a southern republican WASP to boot, and Courtney is Irish. Tori is ok, she's my roommate's girlfriend, although I kinda' knew her before he did, but that's a different story. I see Tori the most out of all of them. Kat is the second one I met, she's Tori's roommate, and no, she's not my girlfriend. Kat is weird, I think I had a crush on her for all of one night, then she turned into a heinous bitch. I thought it was kinda' cool that she thinks I'm drop dead gorgeous, but then I found out she'll fuck anything with legs and something that might by phallus shaped, so it kinda' lost its charm. Courtney is real sweetheart, as far as I can tell her only flaw is that she is too nice. And she's dating Hank, one of my weird friends who aren't named hairy scrotum. Treasure what you have. Like herpes. And pimples and an abusive boyfriend. Can you slip your hands under my shirt and onto my shoulders and rub them? My shoulders? Both of them? Ahhhh! Now stick your tongue in my ear. Hey, what's it like to be right handed? Kinda' like being left handed but not as evil you Asian witch, now suck my cock! Tori cried and hid in the closest. Scott wants his balls back, Tori took them. Tori likes to serve. She enjoyed games with balls. Sometimes depending on the light Tori looks like a talking fish. Maybe from a Disney movie She bitches a lot. She wants to go to bed now so I have to stop. I will continue at a later date. For now, this is Sexy Nick, signing off. Goodnight, TV Land.

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