you've caught me off guard
and affection and sincerity seem so unfamiliar to me anymore
paranoia swells in my head accompanied by desire
and I want to trust you - I really do
but I'm afraid
that you'll kick around the pieces of what I've become
instead of piece them together
that you wont have the tolerance for my insecurities
and backed into the corner I don't know
if I should face my fears or run
I've been hurt so many times with false impressions
from men completely misjudging their being,
mistaking them as angels when all they are
are bastards
but I can't handle your rejection or your anger
because how can someone whose is heart is
encased in ice and stone
possibly protect herself anymore?
it all comes down to forgetting about the past -
forgetting the heartache and the loneliness and
realize what I have here in front of me
but I can't stop the fear - this
inhibiting wrenching fear that one day you will walk out that
door
I'll have to deal because without moving forward
I can never get anywhere
reach
try
be brave
do not fear.