Not ready
I'm not prepared for you to drift
into my life to see my pit of
despair hoping to fill
my void with your presence.
I'm not interested in engaging
in anything with you.
You are my friend.
I see your pain
which is greater than mine.
You cope with your many losses
while I begin to recognize and mourn mine.
I need time to gather my pieces,
hoping that once I have put myself back together
I will be a better and stronger person.
To overcome these problems alone
seems to be the only correct way.
You're loneliness and neediness
seep through your tough guise
and I see someone hurt and alone
who wants some good company.
I need to recover alone and
I'm not ready for you to see me
feeling sorry for myself and witness my problems.
I don't want you to see me miserable -
to see my true self peeking through my carefree facade.
Although I mostly enjoy your company,
your intimacy makes me nervous
Your romantic touch and your thoughts
of what we could be are frightening.
My stomach is unsettled
when with you alone.
Your feelings are unreturned.
I am afraid to tell you.