People's perceptions of religion and faith tend to vary from case to case. Lately, I've discovered that there is a level of uncertainty within nearly everyone's beliefs. These people have been found to question the validity of what they were taught to accept as the norm and believe in something, but aren't exactly positive what it is. I've also noticed that the idea religions incorporate can conflict with each other once certainty is lost.
People have been found to have faith in something that may be roughly translated as a God. "God" has been thanked for support and strength people didn't necessarily believe they were capable of having. I have seen old women carry rosary i n their hands as they walk down the street as a medallion of some sort comfort or purpose. Sometimes I believe people have faith in God when there is no one to turn to. The belief that "someone" (God) is with them eases their feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. I've come to the conclusion that elderly are especially faithful. Many people have religions but question the actual existence of a God.
My "close personal friend," Scott, has little or no faith in God. He is agnostic. He ex plains that he divides agnostics into two groups: the atheist agnostic and the believer agnostic. The atheist agnostic thinks there is no God, but is not certain. The believer agnostic believes there is something that serves as some "higher power," but doesn't know what it is. Scott functions on the basis of proof, therefore his conclusions are rather simple. He has no proof of the existence of God except through other people's experiences and perceptions. Therefore, until some physical proof emerges, or until he experiences anything stating otherwise, he doubts there is a God.
There are reasons for his beliefs. Unlike many people who say "whatever, I don't believe in any of that stuff," he seems to have rather legitimate reasons. His reasons and sto ry where this all began intrigues me. He was six years old, in first grade. It was December, and the other students at school were telling him Santa Claus did not exist. He didn't allow the students'words to effect him because there was no doubt in his mind that there was a Santa Claus. Finally, as Christmas approached, their words began to concern him. He reported the story to his brother, who turned to him and said, "there is no Santa, Scott." There was a brief pause. "It's only Mom and Dad. They hide the presents under their bed." Scott argued and then marched up to his parents' room to prove his brother wrong. He lifted the comforter from the ground and peeked under the bed. To his horror, he discovered the presents. Scott had never seen Santa, but had no reason to doubt him because his parents (who knew everything) told him he existed from such a young age that it was incorporated into his understanding of the world and therefore took all evidence stating the contrary as wrong. Only when shown visual proof of the Santa myths falsity did he come to realize he had been lied to. He was crushed.
He emphasized that, at first, the link was not conscious, but he began to think about God in the same way. He came to see that religion is almost based entirely on parents who teach religion to their children at such a young age that they incorporate it into their understanding of the world. They have complete faith, making it hard to ever question its truthfulness. Any objection is not l istened to (like the kids at the playground who say, "Santa is only your parents") because there is no proof. Also, of course you can't prove God doesn't exist like you can Santa. What he does belive is that people convert every day perception into proof of God that is attributed to science and coincidence. He says other people that call this evidence and are convinced to believe. Just because "you feel it in your heart " or you think, "the world is so beautiful" there must be a God...means nothing. It is a construction of your mind, as is beauty. What it comes down to is pointing out that the human mind has the infinite capacity to make things up. Scott once said "I determined at one time that I had a little faith, because I had faith in one thing. I have faith in the human imagination and in the mind's ability to construct meaning from its perceptions of the world around it."
His ideas create a mixture of a pensive and somewhat upsetting environment. I don't judge him because of his beliefs. It is the way it e ffects me that concerns me. He has me question my motives for having faith. I have always questioned my faith to the God I "worship." I do consider myself to be what he described as a "believer agnostic. I was raised somewhat Catholic, but made the cho ice to become Catholic later on. I was therefore baptized into the Catholic church, received communion, etc. I'm not sure if I belief Jesus is the Son of God and that there is only one God. I've come to realize that debating my religion is irrelevant. Deciding who is "the son of what" seems more like a religious controversy rather than asking if a God exists. I do believe there is God, but I'm not even certain of the number. There may be many as seen in mythology. I know a higher power exists, but it is frustrati ng to not have it proven to you physically by watching a ghostly image pass through walls. Things, as you may notice, occur in a roundabout manner and never travel along the expected path.
Although on the brink of not believing in any God or anything of the supernatural nature, Scott wants to believe. He is compared to Fox Mulder in the "X-Files" whereas he will interrogate a supernatural occurrence hoping for evidence or for something to make him believe. I, however, majoring in Biology and wanting to become a doctor, have an all sorts of scientific explanations for occurrences. I don't downplay the mysteriousness of it all. I believe some things occur for a reason. As scientific and as "Scully-like" as I am, I am still open to suggestions, even thoug h they may be atypical. I believe coincidences are overrated and I have faith in the paranormal and the supernatural even though I have never seen a ghost or have witnessed the strange occurrences that supposedly occur in haunted houses. I believe because I trust my senses and my instincts. Most people need the big neon sign. Intuition essentially means nothing to Scott. I didn't think that such a believer in the supernatural would be as skeptical as he is.
What makes me see things differently from the way he sees things? You might ask why I am a believer. You may think it is a difference in perception. It is. I see things differently because I practice magic and have witnessed things I honestly can't explain. These incidents have convinced me of the existence of some presence if not the existence of a higher being. This is where my confusion becomes relevant. I have my own internal conflicts questioning the existence of polytheism when I should believe in one God. Where in the Catholic religion is there more than one God? If I told a priest I have my own unique Catholicism where I believe in angels, but believe in assortment of not Gods, but unknown powers that control the universe, I would be advised not to take communion. According to the Catholic religion, the practice of magic is strictly forbidden. It is a "go to jail" card. I will not pass go; I will not collect $200. Magic is linked with the devil and will always be somewhat taboo among the American societies, although some witchcraft religions such as Wicca are becoming increasingly popular. How is it possible for magic to work if there is no God? If you believe in magic, then you must believe in a higher force because it is that higher force that allows nature to be "thrown off balance." I suppose you would have to believe in magic and the concept that people can control certain forces of nature to see the point.
It's interesting to discover that religion is a cultural construct. There are no atheist cultures or societies in the world. Let's not forget that we exist in a society where it is rather uncommon to not believe in any sort of celestial being(s). Although Scott has valid points, I am somewhat afraid he may offend people due to his lack of faith, which may make him seem to be somewhat of a cultural outcast in society. I sometimes wonder if seeing people who are faithful makes him feel frustrated about their unsupported and self-produced beliefs or envious because he wants to believe too. Nevertheless, Scott is following the path of never telling his children there is a Santa Claus. He is also uncertain as to what religion they will follow, if any. His faith will only arise once he has experienced an epiphany or a vision. I, stuck in the cracks of the two cement slabs known as Catholicism and a custom-made religion that condones the practice of witchcraft, am also uncertain. I, however, happen to stand on the opposite end of the spectrum, needing guidance because of spiritual ambivalence, and not because of a lack or loss of faith. Perhaps spiritual life is just as unsettling for many people. Strangely enough, it's a comforting thought. It makes the world seem less stable.