Die stretched, dropping the cordless phone onto the couch. The loose top he wore was faded and the shorts underneath it barely peeked out. He wandered back to the bedroom. He sank down by the bed next to a cardboard box.

" So quiet…" he muttered, checking his watch.

He sighed, looking at the pile of things inside the box. It was all Shinya’s things and they made him sad and a bit bitter whenever he saw them. Better to just return them to him. That way, at least, he won’t be reminded of him, Die thought as he reached for the photo frame on top of the pile.

" Shinya…" he stroked the photo. It was the first time they took a photo together that’s not taken during band’s photo-shoots.

Sighing another time, he placed the frame back and waited for Shinya to arrive.

***

The liquid scoured his throat as he downed it. He made a small sound at the sour bitter taste. Kaoru’s eyes burned into the glass goblet in his hand. It was his third one and it was empty and he was not drunk enough.

" Another!" he lazily pushed the glass towards the bartender and it stopped just a mere 2 millimetres away from falling over the edge. The bartender, a young man with black hair slicked back, eyed him warily as he retrieved the glass to refill it.

-‘Go to Shinya’ huh? ‘Our relationship is over’ huh? So is this your way of dumping me, Toshiya???-

Kaoru’s eyes grew teary and he wiped them dry almost viciously. The pain in his heart was making itself known.

-Is this it? Is this the end of our relationship? Just like that?-

The bartender returned with his drink. Kaoru brought the drink close to himself, his hands stroking the cool glass in a tender manner.

-Toshiya…-

******

The darkness stared back at him. He couldn’t get to sleep. He turned around and was faced with an empty bed. Stretching, Toshiya stroked the smooth sheets tenderly, wishing Kaoru was back here, in bed with him, instead of whatever he was doing with Shinya now.

He told himself he had to go to sleep. Tomorrow he would search for a new place to move to. Now that Kaoru wouldn’t really welcome him in his apartment anymore…coz he’d probably want to invite Shinya or somebody over some time.

Burrowing deeper into the blanket, he willed himself to sleep but he barely dozed off for a few minutes before the doorbell woke him up.

He frowned. "Who???" he croaked as he climbed out of bed, annoyed.

In a sleeping robe, he tiptoed cautiously to the door. It could be a robber or a sex maniac or a psychopath killer. Toshiya peeked through the small hole but saw nothing.

" ???" He opened the door and peered outside.

Kaoru was slumped down against the door, asleep.

***

Heaving the big box in his arm, he made his way to the hall.

" Everything’s there?" Die asked.

Shinya nodded solemnly.

" Sorry to bother you so late but I was clearing up the place and I thought maybe you’d want your things back and…" Die babbled but Shinya paid more attention to everything but the words. They seemed meaningless to him now.

-I don’t want to leave…I want to be here with you, to have you near me…I don’t want to go!-

" Are you okay?" Die waved a hand before Shinya’s face, startling him out of his reverie.

" Huh? Yeah, sure!" Shinya forced a bright smile.

" That’s good. You and Toshiya…you guys having something you can’t settle?" Die asked but then suddenly wished he had not.

Shinya kept quiet for a moment.

-Bitch!!!-

Toshiya’s word rang in his ears.

" No," Shinya said.

He tightened his arms around the box lest its contents spilled out. "I better get going now."

" Okay, see you." Die opened the door for him as he struggled with the package.

" See you, Die," Shinya said.

Die smiled and waved at him despite the growing ache in his heart. He was sending away the person he loved with a smile on his face. Sending him away into the arms of another man.

Shinya turned around and was about to walk off when he stopped abruptly as if he remembered something important.

" Die?" he called.

" Yes?" the guitarist paused.

" Don’t smoke so much ne? It’s bad for your health," Shinya said, a sad smile gracing his delicate features. "Bye."

Die thought he saw the reflection of tears in Shinya’s eyes as the drummer turned and left.

***

Toshiya came out of the toilet with a damp towel in his hands. He strode to the bed, climbing onto the mattress next to Kaoru who was groaning in drunken slumber. He pressed the wet cloth to his forehead.

" Uh…" Kaoru swat his hands away.

Toshiya pulled back. Sitting in the moon-lit room, he gazed at his sleeping lover. He could feel his eyes water.

-What lover? It’s only a one-sided relationship.-

When Toshiya was about to go away, Kaoru suddenly grabbed his arm. He gripped rather hard and Toshiya yelped in pain.

" Kaoru!" Toshiya tried to pry his hand off but it only managed to make Kaoru hold on harder.

" No…" Kaoru was talking in his sleep. "Don’t leave…" He was breathing heavily and tears began to run down his face, wetting the flushed cheeks. "You can’t leave. Toshiya…"

" Kaoru?" Toshiya relaxed and sat back down on the mattress.

-Kaoru is crying!- Toshiya stared wide-eyed at the usually sober, strong guitarist who was now whimpering his name and curled up near his legs.

" I’m sorry, Toshiya…I love you…Toshiya…Toshiya…"

Kaoru’s wet cheeks touched his hands. Gently, Toshiya patted him on the back, running his hair past the tangles of his long hair. Kaoru wrapped his arms around the bassist’s waist, burying himself in his body warmth.

" Shh…don’t cry. I forgive you ne…coz…" Toshiya kissed the top of Kaoru’s head, smelling the shampoo scent on his hair. Eyes closed, he whispered softly, "…coz I’m stupid and I love you…"

Cradling Kaoru in his arms, Toshiya soon fell asleep.