Gotta be good looking cause I'm so hard to see!

They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Naturally they became heroes. --Leia Organa

Adventures make one late for dinner.--Bilbo Baggins

If pro is the opposite of con, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Five letter word for home entertainment---harem

Daddy said "no."  Mama said "gracious no." So I went and did something worse.

Lawful Smug: See?  I told you so!

Chaotic Hungry: Yum! Balrog burgers!

Neutral Confused: Dragon?  What dragon?

Chaotic Amative: After the battle let's go find a nice quiet tent somewhere...

Lawful Appalled: Not again!

If you had an adventure, you didn't take into account all known variables. --Editor, "Explorer's Journal."

I'm not stupid.  I'm not expendable.  I'm not going.

No matter how subtle a wizard, a knife between the shoulderblades will seriously cramp his style.--Vlad Taltos

+1 button

It's not the men in my life, It's the life in my men.  -Mae West

Everyone is human until proven otherwise.

Deja vu all over again

Power corrupts.  Absolute power is really fun!

Chaotic evil means never having to say you're sorry.

Lawful Good means never needing to say you're sorry.

Archery: You can run, but you'll just die tired.

Crossbows don't kill people, Quarrels kill people.

That was now, this is then

Live by the sword, die by the crossbow.

Heralds don't pun.  They cant.

Once a king, always a king, but once a knight is never enough.

Build a listfield and they will come.

Viking is a verb, pinhead.

If guns are illegal, can we use swords?

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...and up!

It takes a Viking to raze a village

....got mead?

...got blood?

SCA: the next best thing to being there.

The beatings will stop when morale has improved.

My wife said If I built one more seige engine she'd leave me.  Gee I miss her, but I'm getting her
range...

I rode the Trebuchet and all I got was this lousy tee shirt...And a week in the hospital.

My SO journeyed unto Canterbury and brought me only this beloused t-tunic

My knight sacked Turin and all I got was this dirty table cloth.

It takes a lot of thought, effort and downright determination to be agreeable this early.

Carpe Scrotum...and their hearts an minds will follow.

War cook, death from within.  Over 10000 slain

SCA- I don't go postal, I go medieval

Carpe ductum---seize the tape.

SCA to some a dream, to others a nightmare.

Never piss off a bard--for they are not subtle and your name scans to Greensleeves.

I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to.

You're just jealous the voices talk to me.

I don't have issues.  I subscribe to the magazine!

Homeschool.  It's not just for scary religious people any more.--Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Mostly I just want you to wriggle.

Which way does the north passage go?

186,000 miles per second.  It's not the law, just a challenge.

I used to snort coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck in my nose.

The difficult is but the work of a second. The impossible takes a bit longer.

Even barbarians like chocolate chip cookies.

Never play leapfrog wih a unicorn.

2 wrongs don't make a right. But 3 lefts do.

It isn't a dungeon. It's a fortified, underground, defense installation.

Patience is better left to the dead, who have time for it.

It takes a lot of thought, effort and downright determination to be agreeable.

I have licked the ice cream cone of life and it has fallen on my tennies.

Everyone's screaming so I assume everyone's alive.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed.

This neurotic pursuit of sanity is driving us all crazy.

I was not aware 12 Klingons constituted a swarm.--James Kirk

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing. --Fran Liebowitz, _Metropolian Life_

He's not borderline. He's fall-off-the-cliff-and-no-bottom-to-hit. --Ray Bradbury

There is no end to the talent of the mentally warped.--Neil Simon, _Star Spangled Girl_

Well. This is really state-of-the-art neato.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

I'm invisible, can't you see that? --Perseus, _Clash of the Titans_

So that's what an invisible barrier looks like. _Time Bandits_

Trolls are thorough. --Patrick McManus

You can't have everything; where would you put it?

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Old heroes never die. They reappear in sequels.

He has a native intelligence. Of a very remote country.

Act normal in front of the relatives.

Acting is hell. You spend all your time trying to do what they put people in asylums for.

When the going gets weird, the weird go pro.

Reality is what we tell each other it is. _In the Mouth of Madness_

Reality isn't what it used to be.

It has to be a singlet. There isn't enough of it to be a doublet.

When you were 20, there were dragons to slay and damsels to rescue. At 40, you join the Save the Dragons movement

It's every woman's fantasy to have two men...one cooking, one cleaning.

Recount Appomatox. (button seen in Atlanta)

If you get into a jam, you can always eat something, blow something up or throw penguins. --Jim Henson

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

The universe is already mad. Anythin else would be redundant. --Londo Mollari