VAL: Whoo! Yay! Oh my God, Jack. That was the best show ever. It felt like you were singing only to me.
JACK: Well, for the last seven shows, I was.
VAL: Look, I don't know what to say. I just--I really just wanna... officially thank you for coming into my life. It's just that, well, you're my world now.
JACK: Yeh, about that, um... See, the problem is I live here [HOLDS UP THE PHOTO OF NEW YORK], and I'm thinking you live way up here. [HOLDS UP THE PICTURE OF THE MOON.]

[JACK CRAWLS INTO BED. VAL JUMPS OUT FROM UNDER THE BLANKETS.]
VAL: Surprise!
JACK: [SCREAMS] Aaah! [JACK FALLS OUT OF BED] What the hell are you doing here?
VAL: I live here.
JACK: No, you don't!
VAL: I'm carrying your baby.
JACK: No, you're not!
VAL: You're a musical genius.
JACK: Ok, I'll give you that one. But, Val, you don't--
VAL: Jack, don't you understand? When--when you sing to me... You make me feel special. It's like I'm no longer that sad, angry little girl, running around the schoolyard, stabbing kids with pencils.
JACK: Ok, someone put a little extra crazy powder in the protein shake. Ok, come on. We're going to sit down and have a little talk, all right? Man to whack-job. Now, I thought that it was very flattering when you first started coming to the show--
VAL: I'm wearing your dirty bath water in a vial around my neck.
JACK: Ew, that's enough! Ok! I've had it! All right? So I'm going to tell you what Justin Timberlake, Matt Lauer and Moesha said to me. "Stay away, or I'll call the police!"
VAL: I pretended that your jockstrap was an oxygen mask all day today.
JACK: And time to go, psycho!
VAL: But, Jack, I love you!
JACK: No, I need you to go, Val.
VAL: No! I love you!
JACK: Get out! [JACK TRIES TO PUSH TO THE DOOR.]
VAL: Noooo!
JACK: Crazy lady... Get... out!
[JACK OPENS THE DOOR AND TRIES TO PUSH VAL OUT.]
VAL: I love you. I love you.
JACK: Get out!
VAL: Jack, I love you.
JACK: Get out!
[VAL IS HANGING ONTO THE DOOR FRAME AS JACK TRIES TO PUSH HER OUT.]
VAL: I love you.
JACK: Get out! You're crazy!
[JACK SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT.]