More back to the 70's jokes! I don't know how these started, but you have to give people credit for being creative! I wonder if it started with this joke, which I had heard first: | |
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Here are the original ones I heard: |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your front door step? |
MATT |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pot of vegetables? |
STU |
What do you call a guy with no arms & no legs that is stuck in a wall? |
BRAD |
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs on a tennis court? |
ANNETTE |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that sits in your wallet (or in a bank?) |
BUCK |
These are originals, too, but have had additions: |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that hangs on your wall? |
ART |
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. . . what if he also doesn't have a tongue? |
Tasteless ART |
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. . . what do you call his arms and legs?
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Pieces of ART |
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? |
EILEEN |
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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other who is Asian? |
IRENE |
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What do you call her after the operation to even her legs? |
NOREEN |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in your mailbox? |
BILL |
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And the woman who puts him in the fireplace? |
BERNADETTE |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? |
BOB |
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What do you call 5 men with no arms and no legs in the ocean and a woman named Ann? | BOB, BOB, BOB ... BOB, BOB 'n' Ann |
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Hint: Say it out loud! Very clever! |
{My sister made this one up way back when, but it was such a natural that others have also} |
RUSSELL | |
And 6 months later? |
PETE |
The rest of these I gathered from multiple sources all over the Internet: |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs between two buildings? |
ALI |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who loosens hex screws? |
ALLEN |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on two wheels? |
AXEL |
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs stuck in a fence? |
BARB |
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a bag? |
CARRIE |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your shoulder? |
CHIP |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs put through a meat grinder? |
CHUCK |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a tiger cage? |
CLAUDE |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on a hill?
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CLIFF |
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs hanging from a chandelier? |
CRYSTAL or TIFFANY |
What do you call two men with no arms and no legs in a window? |
CURT N' ROD |
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in your kitchen sink? |
DAWN |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who has been left out on the lawn all night? |
DEWEY |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs under a bed? |
DUSTY |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your barbecue? |
FRANK |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs under a microscope? |
GENE |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a cracker box? |
GRAHAM |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in your spice rack? |
HERB or BASIL |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs flying over a fence? |
HOMER |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs getting trampled on by a bunch of basketball players? |
JIM |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a GMC? |
JIMMY |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a coffee cup? |
JOE |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who pretends to have arms and legs? |
JOSH |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who is Spanish and very pale? |
JUAN |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs impaled on a spear? |
LANCE |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who left a smudge on your floor?
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MARK |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a podium? |
MIKE |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who cut himself shaving? |
NICK |
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a frying pan? |
PAM |
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs between two slices of bread? |
PATTY |
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs hanging on a clothes line? |
PEG |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bottle? |
POP |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who is covered with sauerkraut? |
REUBEN |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who falls into a gold mine? |
RICH |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs trying to hold up a bank?
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ROB |
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs on a beach? |
SANDY |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who is water skiing? |
SKIP |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who worked at the soda plant? |
TAB |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a lingerie drawer? |
TEDDY |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the President's desk? |
VITO |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs with pet rabbits? |
WARREN |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs given to you by a deceased relative? |
WILL |
This is not a true example, but deserved an honorable mention! |
What do you call two guys with no arms/legs in the water?
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Swimming trunks |