That was when I heard it. It sounded like a muffled shout from the other room. Without the slightest bit of fear I slide out of bed, pulling my nightshirt down a bit before making my way silently from my bedroom to Cris’.

He was buried up to his throat in his blankets and his face was drenched with sweat. It would seem I wasn’t the only one having nightmares. I had seen him like this before. His nightmares were always so horrible and there was only one way to help him. Quietly I climbed beneath the covers, sliding my arms around him so as to cradle his head on my shoulder. He continued to thrash, the throes of his nightmare more powerful than my comforting embrace. Tears sprang to my eyes. It hurt to see him like this. He had always been my protector, but something in the loss of Jared had broken his spirit far beyond my ability to repair.

Eventually he quieted though, his breathing becoming less labored. I couldn’t be sure if he had awakened until he spoke. “Sorry,” he murmured, against the material of my shirt.

I took a moment before I answered, not wanting to give away the fact that I had been crying. “It’s all right, Cris. I don’t mind. Besides, the heat isn’t working in my room again tonight.”

“We’ll have to call the super,” he murmured, sleepily. I could tell he was already on his way to what I hoped would be a dreamless slumber. I pushed some of his hair away from his face and smiled before whispering a response to him. “I’ll call in the morning. You get some sleep.”

“You gonna stay?” he asked, his voice becoming less and less coherent. He wrapped his arms around the small of my back, hugging me close.

“Sure,” I said, my voice choked. I missed the Cris that was strong and kind, and always had a smile on his face. The man who had taken me in his arms eight years ago when my parents had died and told me that everything would be all right. Who went out and bought those little gold stars to put on my test papers when I got A’s in middle and high school. The man who had supported me in my decision to join the Malakim Syndicate and the man who was still helping me pay college tuition, that was the man I missed. I still loved Crispin and I would be there for him until the day either he or I die, but I fervently wished there was a way to fix his fragmented soul and give him the peace that he had given me on so many lonely and parentless nights.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The next day was much like the previous, snow still falling from the swollen heavens. Before I left I was careful to slip a small, neatly wrapped present into Cris’ bag. We had agreed not to exchange presents, but I knew for a fact that he’d stockpiled a collection of wrapped boxes in his closet, and I had no intention of letting him go empty-handed. The small box was only one of five presents I had bought for him.

The subway ride to the campus was uneventful if not a bit cold. I’m not a big fan of the cold, regardless of how warm my mittens and peak coat keep me.

When I reached the campus I went directly to the student center, almost instantly picking out my small circle of friends sitting at a table in the far corner. I strode over and grinned before giving my boyfriend of almost sixteen months, Marc, a kiss. “G’morning . How’s everyone doing?”

Chloe, Allison and Gavin gave a collective “Good” before returning to their previous topic of conversation. Marc grinned as I sat down next to him. He pulled my chair closer and draped an arm over my shoulders. “Hey baby, how are you doing this morning?”

“A bit tired, but feeling good.”

He studied me for a moment then sighed. “Things still rough with you and that gay guy?”

“Don’t act so condescending, Marc.” I rolled my eyes. “How would you be if you were in love with someone, with them for years, and then they died? How would you feel if I died? Hmm?”

Marc paused for a moment then sighed. “All right, sorry. Sheesh, didn’t think you’d bite my head off for it.” He straightened his jacket, obviously upset by my hypothetical suggestion. I wasn’t going to placate his discomfort though. I hated it when he made jabs at Cris.

After a few minutes of talking, we all went our separate ways. Marc and I went to our civil war class before I went to my ‘Age of Revolutions’ class. I was ten minutes early, so I took my usual seat towards the back of the lecture hall, making myself comfortable for the class ahead. Ten minutes passed, then twenty. I checked my watch, not believing the wall clock. Finally, the professor came bustling in. It was Crispin. I loved the fact that he taught at the university. It meant I could spend more time with him. He glanced up at everyone, taking a moment to smile at me before addressing the class. “I’m sorry I was late. Got stuck on the train on the way over. If you’d all be so kind to pass your take-home tests forward, we can get started with class.”

I took immediate notice of his condition. He looked pale, with bags under his eyes and a worried, haunted look in his eyes. His pants had a small smear of mud on them and his hair was messed. It was rare for Cris to leave the house looking quite so messy. He hadn’t since he’d resigned from the force anyway. I made a mental note of it before turning my attention to the topic of discussion for the day.

After a rather spirited discussion, Cris dismissed the class. I waited until everyone had gone before approaching him with my worries. “What’s going on, Cris? You’re a mess.”

He hesitated for a moment, his blue eyes meeting my own dark ones. “I got a call this morning. Those druggies…the ones from the case a year ago…they’re dead. Murdered. Earlier today.” He took a shaky breath, obviously trying to control his emotions. “He’s back.”

It took no leap of imagination on my part to figure out whom Cris was speaking of. Jared had returned. Damn those crows, damn them. I decided an optimistic approach might be appropriate. “Then those who wronged him have been punished.”

“You don’t understand, Sara.” Cris shook his head, his eyes wide. “I killed him.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Continued>>