It always seems like this. Everyone happy and me left alone in the cold. I am the stereotypical ‘sad-girl-in-snow’, much to my own embarrassment. I don’t mind it all that much. I would much prefer other’s happiness to my own. But sometimes… sometimes I wish she would look my way.
It’s like that today. Tomoeda is cold but no snow falls. No picturesque ‘sad-girl-in-snow’ today, just a young girl with long black hair and bright blue eyes walking through the park after school. I find myself happy that I wore my hair down today. I would hate to have the icy fingers of the cold and bitter air sliding perversely over the bare skin on the back of my neck. Even the thought makes me shiver ever so slightly.
“Tomoyo-chan!”
That voice. It has the power to make my heart stop for such a short time. And yet, that short time seems like an eternity as I turn to face my best friend, Kinomoto Sakura. “Hello Sakura-chan. What’re you doing here?”
Sakura stops in front of me, her wide emerald eyes searching over my face. “You seemed sad today, Tomoyo-chan. I wanted to make sure that you were all right.” She pouts slightly, in that cute Sakura way of hers. “You’re my friend after all and I care for you.”
“But friend is all it will ever be,” I murmur, surprised that the words found volume. It is almost as if my heart is taking control where my brain had previously reigned, forcing the words through my lips and out into the open before I can stop them. By the time I realize what I’ve said, it is too late.
“What do you mean, Tomoyo-chan?” asks Sakura, her expression genuinely perplexed.
“I love you.” The words are in a barely audible whisper. My throat constricts as I say the words, my eyes wandering downwards and finding the laces on my shoes. I can’t seem to look my friend in the eyes after revealing the friendship altering words. The silence is almost deafening, and I won’t be able to stand much more of it.
Then, as if sent by God, a gloved hand slides along my cheek, lifting my face. Sakura is smiling at me, her emerald eyes kind and understanding. Without saying a word, she leans forward and her lips touch mine. Despite the frigid air outside, they’re warm and comforting, and so gentle that it brings tears to my eyes. Ever so slowly my eyes drift shut…
“Tomoyo? Tomoyo?”
I blink, glancing around to see that I am not in the park like I thought. I am in my bedroom, my comforter and sheets a tangle around my body. My mother is kneeling beside my bed, a look of concern on her pretty face. “Tomoyo, is something the matter?”
I do my best to hide my disappointment. “No mother, I’m fine.”
My mother stands, nodding. “All right. You should be getting ready for school though. And be sure to wear your scarf. It’s going to get cold out.”
I nod as she leaves the room, and when the door closes and I’m alone I turn towards the window to gaze at the outside world. Tears slide down my face, landing softly on the bed.
Outside, it’s snowing.
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