stdgirl

    Lacey has had many strange bosses, but none quite as strange as Claudette and Excalibur. Claudette and Excalibur never left the house before eight o'clock and they stayed out all night. She sees them at clubs every now and again, but they never know it's Lacey when they see her. They know her by a different name.
     That name is STD Girl. STD Girl is Lacey's real job. At first she saw it as a curse, and unfortunate obligation, but now she knows it's a blessing. You see there wasn't always an STD Girl. there used to be just Lacey. But that all changed one summer night, long before Claudette and Excalibur.
     Lacey was driving two women to a night club before she went home. The women were obviously lesbians, or at least bisexual. They couldn't keep their hands off of each other.
     One was wearing a short red dress that was completely see through. Under her dress, you could see her black bra, and laying on the floor were her black thongs. The other was wering purple plaid bondage pants. Lacey had seen bondage pants like this before, but these were unique because the legs of the pants laced up. From crotch to ankles, the pants were laced like a shoe. Her shirt was a simple black spandex halter top. That looked like it was in danger of snapping off everytime she moved.
     Lacey looks back at this night and cringes. How could she have been so naive?
     She was driving, but she found herself constantly looking back at her passengers. The one in the pants had her hand up the other's dress and her hand was hidden up to her knuckles. She could hear the woman in the dress moaning. By this point, Lacey was so fascinated by this display that she was watching them more then the road.
     The girlsknoew they were being watched, but they didn't care. They continued on as if there was nobody else in the world.
     When Lacey had to swerve to keep from hitting a car, she decided that she would have to pry herself away from the two and watch the road. That's when she heard it.

     She heard the buzzing that she'll never forget. When she looked in her rearview mirror, she saw her two passengers were no longer engulfed in each other. They were kneeling on the seat just behind Lacey's back. The one in the dress was holding something that looked about six inches long and moved and made the buzzing noise that she had been hearing.
     That's when Lacey screamed.
     "What's wrong? Lacey, wake up!"
     Lacey was dreaming of that night. The person waking her up washer sidekick. His name is Blue Balls Boy, or BBB for short.

     None of that matters now. What's in the past is over. Now Lacey, or rather, STD Gril, has a mission.

    If you've never had experience with my stories of STD Girl and Blue Balls Boy, first of all, you suck, and second of all, it's not as weird as you think it is.
     Claire and I were talking and we realized how much our fathers were alike, and I said that they were the same person. But the only way for the same person to be in two places at once, was if they had a superpower. That would make us each at least half super hero. So we started talking about what superpower we would like to have. Then it just evolved into STD Girl, Blue Balls Boy, and the banana of abstinence.
     Claire and I both occaisonally write about STD Girl and Blue Balls Boy. Then that story overlaps with Claudette and Excalibur (as you saw in the very beginning of this story). The two women that I was talking about in this story were Clymedia and Gonnarena. Yes, I realize that's not how you spell (or pronounce) either of the two diseases, and they're not supposed to be spelled right. The girls even have a motto, but I don't remember it.

     Ok, maybe it is as odd as you think.