A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always
had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of
his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he
couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly
emissions.
On his
birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her
he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful
aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a
couple of miles from home, he figured he could indulge, and then
walk off any ill effects. So he had three extra-large helpings
of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home.
His wife met
him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed,
"Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner
tonight!"
She
blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the
table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was
beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about
to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to
answer it.
While she
was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to
one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten
egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about
him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came
on. This one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled
worse. He tried flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another
one snuck out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on the table
shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead.
When he
heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his
napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the
picture of innocence when she walked in.
Apologizing
for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. He
assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and yelled,
"Surprise!!!"
To his shock
and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the
table for his surprise birthday party. |
