Title: Volition

Author: Breslin

Email: vanillafroggie@yahoo.com

Pairing: Neville Longbottom / Justin Finch-Fletchley

Rating: NC-17

Category: Angst / First Time

Warnings: Underage

Summary: Neville has to lose his virginity -- fast!

Disclaimer: Not mine! No profit is being made. All things relating to Harry Potter belong to J.K.R.

Notes: This fic is part of the 'Gardeners Delight' Neville Fuh-Q-Fest (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/gardenersdelightslash/).

Scenario: 46) Neville's grandmother is evil, but she's all he has. Before leaving for his 6th or 7th year at Hogwarts, he overhears her agree to give him to Voldemort as a virgin sacrifice. Now Neville has until Christmas break to do something about it. (Carly)

Neville slumped against the wall in shock.

It just couldn't be. Not his Gran. Not his Gran. It just couldn't be.

"AAARRGGHH! NOOO!"

"What?"

"What happened?"

"Who screamed?"

"What happened, I say?"

"Neville?"

Neville peered out from behind the curtains around his bed. "Sorry. Sorry. Bad dream," he said apologetically. He was still shaking.

With a lot of grumbling his dorm mates returned to their beds. Neville lowered himself onto his sweat-damp sheets and tried to breathe deeply to calm himself.

If only it had been just a bad dream. If only. If only.

He turned his head and looked with horror at the calendar on the wall. He couldn't make out the numbers in the dark, but he didn't need to. He knew. Only a week before the Christmas holidays. Only a week.

He felt like crying, but he was empty of tears, having cried enough to fill a lake since the start of the year.

Neville tasted blood, and only then did he realize how hard he had been biting his lip.

He would do it today. It was a Hogsmeade weekend, and a lot of the students would be gone. If there was such a time as a perfect time to...

Neville sniffed, finding tears flooding his eyes. It seemed he wasn't all cried out after all.

He sobbed into his pillow for a while. What he really wanted to do was kick and scream and stomp his feet and tear at his hair. Only that wouldn't help him. There was only one thing that would.

Later that morning he made his excuses. His friends couldn't understand why he was so determined to stay at the castle when being allowed out was such a rare treat.

The portrait swung shut. Aside from some first and second years, he was alone.

Neville showered and dressed. His stomach felt empty, but he knew if he tried to eat he would surely be ill. He waited in the corridor by the library.

"Justin!"

The boy turned around, grinning when he saw Neville. "Neville? Why aren't you--"

"Never mind that," Neville said, "come with me?"

"All right," Justin said, confusion showing on his face.

Neville led him silently up the stairs. Justin hesitated before following him into the Gryffindor common room.

"Where--"

"Dorm room."

"All right, but..."

They reached the dorm room. Neville motioned Justin to sit on one of the beds. He sank down on his own. He stared at the boy, who was looking back quizzically.

They were friends, of sorts. Both gay, and both not quite fitting in. But despite being friendly, they hadn't spent any time together.

He took a deep, quaking breath. He just had to do it. But what if Justin said no? Where would Neville turn? What would hap--

Not allowing himself to finish that terrible thought, Neville forced himself to go forward with his rehearsed line.

"I want to lose my virginity."

There. No need to mention that if he did not, come the New Year he would be lying on a slab of stone with his insides ripped out; a virgin sacrifice in Voldemort's immortality spell.

Justin startled, his eyes growing wide. "What?"

Neville shrugged, though his face was burning. "It's simple, really. You told me once you wished you could experiment. Well, here I am. And here you are. Together. Alone. Lets do it."

Justin blinked confusedly for a few moments, staring at Neville as though Neville had suggested running starkers through the Great Hall at dinner.

"Are you...?"

"Totally serious," Neville confirmed, nodding his head.

"Oh." Justin seemed to think about it for a minute, then shrugged and grinned. "All right then, if you're sure."

Neville was nothing of the sort, but he nodded.

"Hold on then," Justin said, getting up and making sure the door was firmly closed and locked. "Silencing charm, do you think?"

Neville nodded again. Blood was pounding in his temples, but his face and hands felt quite cold and clammy.

Justin went around to each window, pulling the drapes. The light dimmed.

"Perfect," Justin said, coming to stand in front of Neville. He laughed a little at the expression on Neville's face. "Well, come on, you're the one who wanted this. Your show. What do you want to do?"

Neville, who hadn't thought past getting Justin to agree to his plan, could only stare numbly at him.

After a moment Justin shrugged. "Guess the clothes gotta go, eh?" Without turning away, he began to strip. Once unfastened, his robes fell and pooled at his feet.

For a while Neville could only stare, but he caught himself and forced his clammy, clumsy fingers to begin working the many buttons down the front of his robes.

"Let me," Justin said, laughing lightly.

Neville looked up, and to his great discomfort he found that Justin had stripped off the rest of his clothes, and was now climbing onto the bed next to him.

Justin's fingers made quick work of Neville's robes. Neville shivered as much from the novelty of being nude as from the winter chill.

He didn't want to, but forced himself to meet Justin's eyes.

"Well don't look so scared. This is supposed to be fun, right?"

"Oh! Yeah, of course." Neville tried to look more enthusiastic.

Justin seemed satisfied. He dropped a kiss onto Neville's shoulder. "Fun," he murmured, forcing Neville's head to turn toward him.

Neville did find the kiss fun, despite not being able to shake his nervousness. He didn't know what to do with his tongue, but Justin seemed to know enough for the both of them.

"D'you've lube?" Justin murmured. He had broken the kiss, and was now licking the back of Neville's neck.

"What?"

"Lube," Justin repeated more clearly.

"Uh... no," Neville said, his face flaming at the very thought.

Justin sighed and jumped off the bed. He seemed to be looking for something.

"I suppose we could use lotion, but... Oh, there!" he pounced on a small black case underneath Harry's bed.

"A broom care kit?" Neville frowned, not understanding.

Justin held up a small glass bottle. "Oil."

He returned to the bed, tossing the bottle to Neville, who toyed with it nervously.

"Neville?"

"What?" Neville realized he had been staring absently at the bottle in his hands.

"Get on the bed."

Neville kicked off his shoes. He left his socks on; they were covering the only part of him that didn't feel exposed and on display.

Justin didn't seem to notice. He had propped up two pillows; one stolen from Harry's bed, and was leaning back with a pleased expression on his face. "Come here," he invited, stretching out a hand to Neville.

Neville allowed himself to be pulled close, but barely suppressed a yelp when Justin rolled on top of him. The boy wasn't heavy enough to crush him, but feeling Justin's erection prod his stomach was one of the most disconcerting things Neville had ever experienced.

He didn't have much time to think about it. Justin was kissing him again, intent on shoving his tongue as far down Neville's throat as he could. All that seemed to be required of Neville was to lie still.

To his surprise, he did begin to feel aroused. He supposed it was only natural, given Justin's enthusiasm and the way their erections rubbed against each other with every movement.

Justin caught the bottle of oil just as it was about to roll out of Neville's uncurling fingers. He pulled himself up, his knees resting on either side of Neville's body.

Justin seemed to be staring down at him, puzzled. "Well, lets..."

"What?"

"Well," Justin said, not sounding too sure, "I suppose you'll have to get up for this." He moved aside so Neville could pull himself to his knees, then frowned again. "Turn around," he said, making a circular motion with his index finger.

Wondering if Justin knew what he was doing, Neville turned around slowly.

"Um..." Justin said from behind him. "Put your hands on the headboard, I guess."

"You guess?" Neville couldn't help saying.

"Well, yeah, of course. Do it."

Neville didn't think Justin sounded all too certain, but did as he said.

Justin fumbled with the bottle, cursing under his breath when the cap seemed to be stuck.

Neville had to force himself to hold still when Justin's slick, wet hand touched his buttocks.

Most of the oil seemed to end up staining the sheets. The bottle, more than half empty, stared accusingly from its place on the edge of the bedside table. Neville refused to think about how he was going to replace it before Harry noticed.

"Oww!" he cried.

Justin jumped in surprise, which didn't help matters. "What?"

"N-Nothing. Nothing," Neville mumbled. "It just hurt for a moment."

Justin shrugged and continued to push in, while Neville gritted his teeth and wondered if they might not be doing something wrong, after all.

He was glad he was holding on to the headboard, though his fingers had gone numb from the effort. Justin's hands were bruising his ribs as he thrust faster and harder, until with a final hard thrust Neville felt him erupt somewhere deep inside him.

Justin fell sideways onto the bed, panting and chuckling softly.

Neville allowed his cramped fingers to uncurl, and slid down, trying avoid the wet spot of oil and semen.

"That's it?" he asked incredulously.

Justin opened his eyes and shot him a hurt look.

"I mean," Neville amended, "I kind of thought it would be more, you know, more of a big deal. The way people talk..."

"Yeah..." Justin shrugged. "I suppose." He lowered his head and began to lick Neville's waning erection.

Neville lay back and let him. For him the main act was done. He might as well enjoy the rest of it.

Apparently Justin had more experience in this area, because before long Neville found his hips bucking off the bed, seeking the heat and suction of Justin's mouth.

Another few thrusts, and Justin was wiping sticky semen from his chin.

"That it, I guess," he said.

Neville only sighed in response. He had fallen back on the pillow, breathing hard.