By: Anonymous
T'was the night before Christmas and all
through the Hall
Not a creature was stirring, not Warrior nor thrall.
And I in my leathers, my furs and my helm
Was drunker than anyone else in the Realm.
I staggered upstairs and fell into bed
While four quarts of mead were ablaze in my head.
Then up from below came the sounds of a brawl
So I grabbed up my axe and ran down to the Hall.
I missed the last step and crashed down in
a heap
Thinking, "Why can't those low-lifes downstairs go to
sleep!"
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But two brawny strangers, wielding mallet and spear.
I said to myself, "We'll soon have
them beat!"
Then I noticed ten warriors laid out at their feet.
I gave out a yell and leapt into the fray...
I'll always regret my poor choice of that day.
For the one laid his hammer to the side of
my nose
And up, up, up to the rafters I rose.
Then came a lone frightened voice from the floor,
"Those are no mortal warriors -- that's Odin and
Thor!"
Then they looked at each other and they
said, "Battle's done.
Now they know who we are, it no longer is fun."
Then Thor raised his hammer, and his elbow he bent,
And with a loud crash, through the ceiling they went.
I crawled through the Hall and flung open
the door,
Not really sure that I'd seen them before.
The snow bathed in starlight, three moons pale as mead,
I saw them ride off on an eight-legged steed.
And I heard them exclaim, 'ere they flew
out of sight,
"TO HELL WITH CHRISTMAS, WE JUST LOVE A GOOD
FIGHT!"