Like he's The Torvaldsland Poster Jarl or something
Look at this will ya, I got blisters on my blisters
Takan:~Squints and counts the rarii in the room~
Are we gonna fight all these guys?
I mean like ALL these guys?
Casca:~Trys to shrug his well known indifferent shrug and almost falls over~
No stupid Twin of mine, we rowed all the way down here, got blisters, then climbed on tarns and got saddle sores just to see if big alice was available to fur little brother over there
Kurzon:~Perks up and uncrosses his eyes~
Hmmmmmm, I remember her from way back. I always liked big alice, but didn't she end up with that wussy Kassar Ubar, whatshisname? The short guy?

Casca:~shakes his head~
Sheeeeeesh
Who cares damnit, let's just do it.
You guys get in line in front of the Jarl
NOOOOOO . . .Aw Damnit To Hell
In front of the Jarl. I said . . .IN FRONT!!!!!!
Dragon:~Jumping up and down~
We are gonna attack? Huh? Huh? Are we? Huh?
Oh boy oh boy Damn, I'm ready I'm ready
Tell me when, just tell me when
Now? Now?
Takan:~Ut oh~
Whoa . . . Wait a sec . . .
WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA . . .
Would one of you guys hold this stuff for me?
I gotta go take a piss
Casca:~Looks to the three moons and mutters~
Why me ODIN? Why me? What did I ever do to piss you off so bad?
Other guys gets sisters . . . You give me Takan and Dragon
Kurzon:~Fixes Takan with his hard Torvaldslander stare~
Now? You gotta piss Now?
You want us to stop everything and wait for you?
We are about to have a formal dance of steel here with a few of these honorable rarii and you wanna pause to pee?


Dragon:~shakes head and has a worried look~
Sheeeeeeesh, don’t be looking at me. I ain’t gonna hold all that stuff for Takan. I got stuff of my own here and it’s damn heavy . . . Probably got more stuff than you guys got . . .How come we always gotta bring all this stuff anyway? We never use half of it~
Takan:~Puts on his best Tuchuk pleading look~
Ok ok . . .would one of you guys be a real buddy and unzip me then?
Casca:~Without pause or hesitation, slaps Takan upside the head~
No, we ain't holding your stuff Damnit . . .We ain't gonna upzip ya Damnit, and we ain't taking it out for ya so SHUT UP and just wait Damnit Damnit Damnit
Dragon:~getting excited again~
We gonna take names and kick ass? Huh? Huh? Are we?
Kurzon:~Fixes Dragon with his now world famous and world patented hard Torvaldslander stare~
That is Kick Ass and Take Names Stupid. If you’re gonna say it, get it right
Casca:~Trys to uncross his eyes~How many warriors are in here?


Takan:~Squints and crosses his legs, thinking too damn many as usual~
Looks like 64 rarii, or 32 or 23 maybe. And one of their slaves has a moustache I think
Kurzon:~Perks up again hearing Takan’s words~
Awwwwww, that's just big alice
Dragon:~shakes his head, making himself dizzy~
HA. . . Takan never could count past ten
Casca:~Squints across the room unaware that his eyes are crossed~
I’ll take the 29 on the right, you guys can have the rest
Dragon:~Yeah, right~
I’ll strip search the slaves
Kurzon:~Yeah right~
I’ll search for the stuff and steal the stuff. We need more stuff. I'm good at getting stuff. Nyx likes a lot of stuff
Takan:~Keeping his legs tightly crossed and thinking, I gotta piss bad~
I’ll help Dragon

Charge

Charge

Aw shit . . .Charge

~Being young, strong, and very drunk
charges forth, screaming at the top of his lungs~
Us Guys
from Torvaldsland
are upon Ya'll
Where upon Casca, extremely pissed off now cause he missed his chance AGAIN to do the Torvaldslander yell thingie, immediately runs full speed into a post and in typical drunk berserker fury knocks himself completely out

Kurzon having no one to hold him up any longer tips rapidly to starboard until he capsizes completely and lays on the floor muttering about Stuff and trying to count the three moons

Takan, being an excellent sailor, navigates his way through the melee to the slave pen where, because he is Tuchuk by upbringing, manages to find 7 slaves to upzip him.

Luckily for all, Dragon runs into some old friends who not only like him a little but owe him money as well and instead of fighting everyone he ends up passed out between Kurzon and Casca.

Takan, ever resourceful, finds ways to thank the slave girls and after a few hours zips up and reclaims his weapons. Then since he is such a splendid fellow, (one guess who reported this incident)he helps everyone back home to the Fjord

Where they were met by their brothers who were waiting none too patiently for the Stuff. This was obvious to all, even Kurzon who still could not see well and had a tummy ache. They were banging on tables and chanting

Oh Boy Oh Boy
Show us the Stuff
Show us the Stuff
Huff Puff
Show us the Stuff

Oh Boy Oh Boy
We want the Stuff
We want the Stuff
Huff Puff
We want the Stuff

 

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