By members of the Val Raiders
The Raiders loved Gormas!
The whole Gormas season!
Now, please don't ask why.
No One quite knows the reason.
It could be They loved the Season of light.
It could be, perhaps, that They just loved flying Their tarns at
night.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that Their recent raid rewards had been way to
small.
But, Whatever the reason, The light or the
flight,
They stood there on Gormas Eve neath the three moons light,
Staring down from Their Lair with a flashy, Raidery frown
At the warm lighted fire pits below in their Camps,Lairs and
Towns.
For they knew every Gorean down in Gor-ville beneath
Was busy just now hanging a talender wreath.
"And they're hanging their talender
wreaths!" They all grinned with glee and nary a care
"Tomorrow is Gormas! It's practically here!"
Then they grinned harder, with Their Raider fingers drumming,
"We MUST find some way to take their Gormas gifts and keep
Gormas from comming!"
For, Tomorrow, They knew...All of Gor, the
Free and the slaves Would wake bright and early.
They'll rush for their new weapons, gold and silver, hurly
burly!
The Men, new weapons made just for cleavin'...
The Women, new razors for leg shaving in hopes to become more
appealin'...
and The slaves with their jewelry a ringin' and the sound of
Gold tinklin'...
ahhh that's a sound, to a Raider, that is MOST MOST appealin'
Oh, the wonderful Noise of sparring and
tossing wagered Gold!
That's one thing They oh do so love to behold!
The sound of tinkling Gold that holds a Raider well poised!
They'll fight and sing and make NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Goreans, the Young and Old, will
sit down to a feast.
The fine serving girls and boys busy about their feats.
And they'll feast! And they'll feast!
And they'll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They will feast on ramberry pudding, and
rare Gor-roast beast
Huge silver trays of tarsk and bosk dressed in redfruit,
succulent and sweet
Chilled paga's and kalana's which will keep the slaves running
quite fleet
The more the Raiders thought of this Gormas
day,
The more They thought, "We must find a way to take thier
things away!"
We must find a way to RAID! RAID! RAID! RAID!
"But HOW?" They thought to
Themselves and They scratched at Their nards
The Raiders thought and thought until One yelled "We can
pose as bards!"
MSR chuckled and NightStorm chucked the back of His head
"Don't be silly Brother, that trick is moldy as three day
old blackbread."
Then a Raider got an idea! An awful idea!
THE RAIDER GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Raider laughed in his
throat.
And he made several quick Santy Claus and elf helms and coats.
And he chuckled, and grinned, "What a great Raidery
trick!"
"With these coats and helms, We look just like Saint
Nick!"
"All We need is a team of magical
kaiila..." The Raider looked around.
But, since magical kaiila are scarce, there was none to be
found.
Did that stop the old Raider...? No!
The Raider simply said, "If We can't find magical kaiila,
We'll make them instead!"
So he called His Brothers together and They
huddled and talked.
Then they took some red thread and They tied big horns on the
tops of several kaiila's heads no matter how they balked.
Then They loaded some chests, bags and some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle old wagon with the other Raiders hiding in the
back.
Then the Raider grinned, looked around and
said,"Giddap!"
And the wagon started down from the Lair toward the homes where
the Goreans lay a-snooze in their camps and towns waiting for Gormas Day.
All their camps and windows were dark.
Quiet filled the air.
The Goreans were all dreaming sweet dreams without care when
They came to the first little cylinder on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Raider Claus
grinned and hissed
and He climbed to the roof and called to His Brothers, and They
all filed out, empty bags in Their fists.
They slid down the chimneys and through the
windows and doors.
A rather tight pinch for some. But, if Santa could do it, then
so could the Raiders.
Then They stuck Their heads out into the rooms where the little
Gor stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings, are the first things to go!"
They slithered and slunk, with a smile most
unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and They took every present!
Swords and quiva! Bola's, compressed Bows and blades! Leg
shaving razors! Kalika's and Drums!
Stone boards! Leathers! Silks! And plums!
And They stuffed them in Their bags. Then the Raiders, very
nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, out the windows, doors and up
the chimneys!
Then They slunk to the serveries and They
took the Gorean's feast!
They took the ramberry pudding and the Gor-roast beast!
They cleaned out that servery as quick as a flash.
Why, those Raiders even took the last bowl of vulo hash!
Then They stuffed all the food into the
wagon with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Raiders, "We will steal
their Ubars dais! even if it is big as a tree!"
And the Raiders grabbed the dais, and they
started to shove When
They heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
They turned around fast, and They saw a small slave!
little sparkle boo, who was not more than two hundred and two.
The Raiders had been caught by this tiny
WebMaze administrator
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water and some rence
paper.
she stared at the Raiders and said, "Santy Claus, why, why
are you taking the Ubars dais? WHY?"
But, you know, those old Raiders were so
smart and so slick
They thought up a lie, and They thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus
Raider lied,
"There's a blimish on this dais that can't be hid on one
side."
"So We're taking it home to my workshop, my dear."
"We'll fix it up there. Then We'll bring it back
here."
And His fib fooled the lil slave and He patted her head
and got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when lil sparkle-boo went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the wagon and stuffed the dais up!
Then the last thing he took Was the wood
for their fires!
Then he went out the window, Himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the servery
Was a crumb that was even too small for an urt.
Then They did the same thing To the other Gorean's
Camps and towns.
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Gorean's urts!
It was quarter past dawn... All the Goreans,
still a-bed,
All the Goreans, still a-snooze when he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents!
They rode with Their load to the Lair to
dump it!
"Pooh-Pooh to the Gorean's!" They were raider-ish-ly
humming.
"They're finding out now that no Gormas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
Then the Goreans down in Gor-ville will all cry
VAL RAIDERS!!! BOO-HOO!!!"