T'was early in the morning, though late at night
a sleepy Norseman got up to fight.
Mighty Kurzon grabbed his shield then drew his chaq,
his opponent shuddered violently, quite taken aback.
Hold there Northerner, I wish to withdraw!
My eyes see what they see, I know what I saw!
Now I'm brave and strong and I don't mind dying
but a sword would be kinder and I'm not lying.
So I'll take my leave now and fight never more
the Paravaci said as he backed to the door
He dropped the shield and then his sword.
Kurzon merely yawned, and appeared quite bored.
then in parting he roared out to the southern Lord
"Ah Braden You should have known, for this be Vanir's Fjord"
"With sword or axe or even your puny chaq
When you grow up a bit boy Ya'll come back"

Now it wasn't long before a song was sung
describing in detail just how Kurzon was hung
It told of his size, his weapons, his fierce manner so bold
wagon slaves would drool, then faint, and were quickly sold
So a council was soon called of the four tribes and their advisors too
they met on the Great Plains, sat by the fire, wondering aloud what to do
A great plan was hatched and the Ubars went North
where upon a message to Kurzon was quickly sent forth
In time the four worried Ubars arrived at the far shore
and spied mighty Kurzon, though in all honestly they expected much more

Kurzon chuckled, then laughed with his good natured glee
when he learned of their purpose and what they wished to see
So he showed them then told them the really bad tidings
"My friends You have missed the greatest of sightings
My two brothers, Nozruk and Ruknoz are what you should see
for if the truth be told, They are both much larger than me"

The minstrel paused at this point and I asked what all this had to do with the damage to the tavern. He slyly replied that his bowl and song were finished, but if I wished to hear more another bowl would be encouragement enough. I bought, he drank, and then he began to sing once more

The council departed, dejected and downcast
they stared off to sea, silently, sitting there by the mast
The ship was half way home before any could speak
then the Tuchuk grunted and said:"Hey now guys, it's been a week
Let's look on the bright side my brothers three
I don't know about ya'll, but I do know about Me
See Kurzon may be much larger of chaq and his damn brothers too
but you and I know Lady Nyx limits what He can and can't do
Now if any see the giants, Nozruk and Ruknoz we kill them on sight
Be brave, strike quickly, to hell with a fair fight
For fellow Ubars You know if our women learn of these other two
It will of course certainly spell the end for Me, You, You, and You!"

One night the Jarl's brothers were found in a lowlife bar
having fought, furred and drunk their way to infamous Port Kar
There a horrible din arose and a terrible fight did ensue
as forty brave tribesmen attacked the hapless two
Enraged, Ruznok grabbed both his and his brother's axe then let out a roar
with one mighty swing, the giant swiftly decapitated the nearest four
Nozruk, as usual, the drunkest of the two
looked up in surprise, not sure what to do
"There's only 36 left now little brother of mine
do ye need any help or may I continue to dine?"
"Nay brother," yelled Ruznok," I can easily handle this
but I must be quick for I really need to piss"

Having said that he stepped up the pace
using a poor Paravaci as a deadly mace
In no time at all the fighting was done
and Nozruk, eating desert, had missed all the fun
When they left the establishment he was heard to say
"Ha!! Send the bill to old Kurzon, he's rich, he will pay"