The
Cornered
Torvaldslander

It t’was fifty to one when blades drawn, they first came at me.

An hour had past and I’d cut the crowd down to three.

Sorely wounded and bleeding yet laughing and free,

these three damn fools expected a dishonorable plea.

  "ODIN" I shouted loudly, "Hey . . . it’s Takan, save me seat.

I’ve worked me up a large thirst and I just may be beat.

A nice place up close to the fire, for me to enjoy the heat,

ahhhh yes, and two pretty slaves to massage my poor errrr, feet."

  (I started to sing, a grin on my face)

I spent my gold on women and drink

Enjoying all the best

And like a fool I wasted me life

Squandering all the rest

  The three men leaped forward screaming, "We’ll see Takan dead!"

Their wicked blades flashed in the light, and the floor grew red.

So I thought of my slave in the North, home safe in my bed,

awwww, but the part I really liked best came next when they said.

  "Hear us, we’ll spit and dance on your grave and give you no rest!"

Under attack I was and yes . . . admittedly hard-pressed.

"Huh?" I grunted. "The deeds not done." You see, I wasn’t depressed,

I was scheming and thinking, yep, it might be best.

 
We’ll spit and dance on your grave and give you no rest

We’ll spit and dance on your grave and give you no rest

We’ll spit and dance on your grave and give you no rest

We’ll dance and spit on your grave and give you no rest

  "Well now me lads," I said, "I see you are warriors, it’s true.

It’s been fun, so I won’t debate what you think you can do.

Of course I’m not dying alone, but hey, that’s not really new,

Accept my blades greetings, which will be first, you, You, or YOU?"

  T’would naturally not be proper, for me to contest.

The words these bold, but foolish warriors said now, not even in jest.

I knew my codes and only the cowardly would protest,

So like a Tuchuk I was thinking, it just might even be best.

 
"Aye my bold warriors, yes, come on, tis fine, tis fine with me."

Then I parried one blade, and two blades, but perhaps, not three.

"Hear me warriors, hear me now, for ODIN knows I can’t disagree,

~Roaring with laughter~ Idiots and Fools, All three!"

"I’ll be buried at Sea!"

the moral is of course to be very wary around Torvaldslanders who think like Tuchuks

~Grin~
 

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