I have written down seven words , that constitute a whole. The first word
is
is confidence. I feel like there was a time when you had a lack of confidence.
Not just in yourself, but also in your environment.
As a child, or when you are younger, you are often a bit credulous and
later on you will become
a bit more cynical. With me it was just the other way around. When I was
18, I was more cynical
when it came to our society and relationships with people, than I am now.
Of course it would be easy to say that was because of my childhood but
it has always annoyed
me when people blame their parents for everything.
In my opinion, my parents have always, in their way, tried their best.
As refugees they felt
a lot of need to perform in their new country.
When I raise my kids I will not emphasize on succeeding that much, even
though I'm sure
Emma and Alec will later on also have their doubts about certain decisions
I have made while
raising them.
Ok, parents are always doing things wrong. But when your parents didn't
succeed in earning your trust, I can assume you will try your best to earn
the trust of your kids.
My parents did succeed in earning my trust. As a child I would have let
myself fall of a wall
if my parents were standing under it, without hesitating. Just like Emma
will let herself fall
of the stairs with a smile when I stand a few steps underneath her.
But when I became a professional tennisplayer when I was 16, I temporarily
had to let my
parents go, because they couldn't distance themselves from my tennis. My
whole youth
was about tennis. But I wanted, and had to stand on my own feet if I wanted
to get any further.
But don't you think that when you miss the trust, you miss something
essential as a person?
That would definitely cause a certain form of emptiness that I wouldn't
want. When I talk about
my relationship with Daphne, a lack of trust would definitely be
a huge deficiency.
And what about confidence in tennis? How can you explain that one moment
you hit 8 aces in a row and then you suddenly can't hit a ball right?
I am a human being, and not a machine. Eight aces are nice, but errors
are also a part of tennis.
If I knew how to play only good points, I would be a robot. At the beginning
of my career I
doubted myself a lot sooner than I do now. Last year for example, I won
in Key Biscaine and
reached the 4th place on the rankings. After that, I almost didn't win
a match for months.
Still, it took 2 Grand slams and several super 9 tournaments before I started
to doubt myself.
A couple of years ago I might have already started doubting myself after
just one Grand Slam.
But through the years I have gotten a lot more confidence in what I can
do and I don't panick
after a failed "adventure".
Maybe the Dutch press can learn something from that. But sometimes you
actually need to have
doubts to get more focused again.So having doubts in a sport life is not
as bad as you might think.
So you dare to have doubts based on the trust/confidence
you have. People
who miss that confidence are afraid to admit they have doubts to themselves
and to other people.
When I lost early last year at Wimbledon, of course I was very disappointed
but I couldn't
change it. When I had this attitude towards the press, they accused me
of being careless. So when
you are just being realistic and don't start crying immediately on tv,
you are careless, even though
you are just dealing with your loss in a mature way.
In a situation like that you feel like you have to defend yourself and
that's exactly
when you are at your weakest. I don't know if you have struggled with that
yourself, but the public has had a lot of confidence in you, but they also
dropped
you like a hot brick. Then they say: Richard does not have mentality. How
do you
experience that?
It is often the opinion of one person, who then also writes it down. I
used to see that as the
opinion of the public, but things like that are often different as they
seem. Now I can seperate
those things better and that makes negative publicity a lot more bearable.
Of course I have also had bad moments, where I felt like there was more
going on. Like in
Davis Cup against New Zealand when things went wrong with my meniscus and
I got hissed at by
part of the public.
My second word is discipline. How did you get that and how do you manage
to keep that?
I always thought that was something other people teach you, but now I know
you, for a part, get
born with that. Of course they told me to clean my room, but I would also
do that when nobody
told me to.
Emma actually already has that in common with me.
What do you expect when you stop playing tennis? With soccer players you
often see that, after 20 years of discipline, they have this strong feeling
that
they need to get out of hand. Or sometimes even during their career.
I feel like that is something I have already left behind me. From the moment
I was 18, I was just
being young for about 2 years. I was drinking and would go to a disco two
nights in a row till about
4am. But when there was a fitness training at 8:30am I'd still be there.
And I think that is
discipline. As a junior I was quite an idle player. I was talented and
won very easily most of the time.
I also knew how to use as little energy as possible to win. Some people
called that laziness.
During the first years of my career I still got confronted with that once
in a while. But I actually
felt like I was being quite disciplined.
Do you see discipline as something that is necessary in order to achieve
something?
For me that definitely is the case. For me discipline means being on time
at the practise courts, and
being the one who says himself that he wants to do something extra. And
you always have to
be prepared to work hard, especially when it's not going that well. And
that's the hardest thing.
But it's also important that you don't have any side issues on your mind
so you can concentrate
on your profession for a 100%.
Number three on my list is concentration. I think without confidence you
have
no discipline and without discipline you can't concentrate well. How did
you
discover this phenomenon?
Without discipline there is no concentration. I noticed that when I looked
at the son of a friend
of mine. He's only 11 years old, but now that he's doing taekwondo he can
also concentrate
better when he's at school, because of the discipline they taught him.
At my home that was completely different: everything was competitive there.
I hated losing and
in the beginning my dad would let me win. When he didn't do that, I would
really go crazy.
Still I think they trained me in the right way. I wanted to win and didn't
want to run away for
a competition. So I tried to do even better and also started concentrating
even better. Around me
I saw they were especially training at hitting the ball and not practising
match situations.
Maybe that's logical, but I know for sure that part of my success is because
of the way I used to
practise.
How does that work in tennis? Sometimes you feel you can't concentrate
well
and then it goes wrong. Do you have certain rituals so you can concentrate
better? And can certain situations, like the reaction of the crowd or things
in your private life have an influence on your concentration?
Most of the time a lack of concentration is the result of tiredness. Or
when you underestimate your
opponent. Or because you are too tense. Then you tell yourself you are
a good tennisplayer.
And you tell yourself it is just tennis and not a matter of life or death,
but something you just have
to enjoy. You can also go too far in your will to win.
I don't really have any rituals. Although Rohan did notice that, before
a match, I always wrap up
my watch in my towel in exactly the same way, and I always put it in exactly
the same part of
my bag.
On court we all have our own way of standing to return a serve, like touching
your eyebrows and
things like that.
External situations hardly have any influence on my concentration. Sometimes
bad things would
happen in my private life, but I would play great tennis, and that also
works the other way around.
Sometimes concentration is also a fantastic alibi. "I have to work" is
an excuse
I have used very often: to concentrate you will lock yourself up for a
100 % in
yourself. That's also why people feel so happy when they are concentrated.
And for many professional sports persons the loss of that alibi after they
retire
will be very hard. You would have had to win Wimbledon at least 3 times,
if
you wanted people to look at you with respect for the rest of your life.
I certainly recognize that first thing.
And about winning Wimbledon 3 times: the people around me that I love,
respect me for who I am,
even if I hadn't won Wimbledon.
And people who don't have any respect for you sportsmanlike after
winning Wimbledon once, also
won't have that after you win it 3 times.
We're going to talk about susceptibility. Being open, be prepared to learn
things.
You didn't feel like you had to finish school? But obviously you were able
to
carry out lessons fast when you were still very young.
It was impossible for me to combine school with tennis any longer. I had
been playing tennis
since I was 3 years old, so I had been doing that longer than going to
school.
I would have never forgiven myself if I hadn't tried. I was 16 when I became
a professional
player and I was the number 50 of Holland, but I just had to give it a
try. I could always finish
school if it turned out I wasn't good enough. But now at least I wouldn't
get frustrated.
As a child I could always carry out lessons fast. That is what I think
is very nice: kids don't get
stopped by thinking. They just look at you and do it. So I think you can
only teach someone a
natural technique at a young age.
Just look at Tiger Woods. His golf club has sort of blended in with his
body; it's his third arm.
Even if I would play golf 12 hours a day from now on and I'd have the best
coaches, I would
never get anywhere near his smooth technique. And then I'm not even talking
about the rest
of his game.
Can you analyse yourself fast? Do you know what is wrong soon?
I am better at that now than I used to. Back then the only thing I learned
was: Don't make any
mistakes. They taught me the "perfect technique" was not the most important.
The most important
thing was getting the ball over the net. Of course you do need to have
a certain natural technique.
Everybody is different, so you have your personal technique. I think that,
when it comes to that,
the Dutch lessons had real shortcomings. They always emphasized on technique
and on how
beautiful someone could play tennis. When it comes to that I think Jim
Courier is a good
example: His tennis might have a sort of base-ball style, but he did win
4 Grand Slams and was
number one. Those results once again show that a beautiful technique is
nice, but it's not
the most important. The technique that suits you personally, is much more
important.
And what about reading?
I have noticed that nowadays I have trouble learning something by reading.
I became more of
a practical person. I do read books, but I have problems with my
concentration then.
Isn't that strange? You need to be concentrated if you want to read. In
tennis
you can just call up your concentration, but it doesn't always work.
When I can't sleep, all I have to do is get a book. But in tennis you are
always busy doing something.
Maybe I should just run if I want to read a book.
Or just wrap up that watch again. I have exactly that same experiece.
When I am on stage I can concentrate very easily. But on the golf court
it is
an absolute tragedy. What is the reason for that, according to you?
That has something to do with your level. When it comes to your work, you
are used to doing
that thing you do very well. I don't know if that counts for you
though.... but just look at those
golf players on tv. It all looks so easy. People also think tennis is an
easy sport when they see me
playing. And they also think it's very easy for you when you're on stage.
But when we play golf, we hit the ball in all directions, except for the
right direction. We start
to get annoyed and it's getting harder and harder to really concentrate.
But on the court I can't
allow myself to do that.
In that way, you have changed in the last few years. When you used to let
your
head down, everybody watching you would know what was going to happen.
I've always thought the criticism on that point was undeserved. Ok, after
my Wimbledon title
I was feeling empty mentally. When I think about that now, I think it would
have been better
if I hadn't played then. But except for then, I have always fought. In
my own way. Not like
Connors, but I did really go for it. Stefan Edberg was always seen as one
of the biggest fighters
on the circuit by his colleagues. But you couldn't really see that. He
was never shouting or
clench his fists, but we all knew you hadn't beaten him until you scored
the last point.
I think it is a shame when people think about me like that. I think the
press played an important
part in this. Even though I was often able to come back in a match when
it seemed hopeless and I
would actually still win. But I guess you have been influenced too.
I am just sitting here as the devil's advocate.
A new subject now: Love. When you possess enough of all the words I
mentioned, you are also able to give and receive love. Did you get enough
love during your childhood?
Absolutely. My parents didn't have the best sort of relationship with each
other, but seperately they
loved me very much. I also never had the idea they were fighting about
us, which is something
that does seem to happen very often with children of divorced parents.
It might be that, because of their bad relationship, I myself for a long
time, didn't believe in
relationships, and especially not in marriage. But with Daphne that did
slowly come. When we got
to know each other, in 1994, I was still kind of young, about 22 years
old. With her I could
slowly open myself up for that. The first year, I didn't even really think
about it, but after that
we did become very close. In all ways.
Then there comes a moment when you start talking about children. We saw
getting married as just
a nice incidental circumstance. After all: We already had everything: a
close relationship and a child.
Didn't it ever oppress you?
Never. Because it all happened so naturally. Sometimes you hear stories
about guys who almost
get pushed into it. Their girlfriends just keep after them.
But Daphne is always relaxed. I never have to justify myself. Now I am
not a party animal, but
I like the fact that we don't lay any demands on each other. I think for
us that is the reason why
we feel so close to each other.
The rest of the interview will follow later