Something About the Rain
PART IV
Before I met you
Before I held you in the night
I don't know how I survived
Before I found you
Before you made everything right
I was half alive
I wasn't really living till you came into my life
I got through baby
But I don't know how I got by
~~~*~~~*~~~*~~~
"You," I interrupted, "you don't have to love me back...don't--have to do anything at all. Please, just--just let me lay here..." forever...
I didn't want to lookup. Didn‘t even want to acknowledge that I even heard him call my name. Didn't want to see the rejection, but I forced my eyes open, and saw...his dragon. Freeing a hand, I slowly traced the creature; followed the curve of its body as it marked his skin. I paused with the realization of what I was doing; found even more surprising that I wasn’t being stopped. I looked up to search for some kind of sign, but I didn’t--couldn’t see anything. Why didn't he stop me? I lowered my head, dug the toes of my shoes into the carpet; leaned into his neck. Hesitantly I brushed my lips against the spot my fingers traced, sucked softly here-and-there tasting, wanting to--to consume him completely into myself.
"Ken-ny. Don‘t," It was said softly, but a warning nonetheless. I flinched, waiting for the shove that would send me across the room, but instead I found myself beneath him. His hands painfully gripped my hair as they anchored me in place while his tongue assaulted my own. I made a sound (I think a whimper) at the treatment; he pulled away with a look of shock. I know my face had to be a mirror of his own. Our breathing was heavy, loud, echoing off the walls, in my ears...
I reached up in wonder. Wasn’t that proof enough that he felt something for me? How could he walk away? Why did he want to walk away? My fingertips rested on his cheek, my eyes searched for something--anything. Only he had successfully replaced shock with that familiar, unemotional stare.
"Sharpshot," I whispered, but he shook his head, and I watched as my hand was pulled away, "Why?" my voice broke on the word and I bit my lip; dug my fingers into the carpet. Do not start crying!, I yelled at myself as he moved back to lean against the bed. Taking a shaky breath I sat up, but he didn’t look at me as he searched a discarded pair of pants for a cigarette.
***
He put his hands on mine, stopped them just when I was about to light up.
"You know...those things really aren’t good for you."
I was amazed my hands weren’t still shaking. I let myself look at him. He gave a soft smile as he took the cigarette from my hand, tossed it across the room, slid the lighter back into the pants pocket.
"Hijiri..." he said as he straddled me. My eyebrows raised, I didn't know if I was more surprised at hearing him use my given name or that he had straddled me, "Do you seriously think you can come to me in the middle of the night, say all those things, then expect me to just...go away? I love you..." he said plainly, his hands dormant in his lap, "that's all that matters."
"Kenny, it’s not that e--" he kissed me, pulled away, ran his thumb across my lips.
"Nothing worth anything is suppose to be easy."
I looked at him, really looked at him. Could he actuallywant a fucked-up piece of work like me? I had blood on my hands. I looked at the needle marks on my arm...and a shit load of other stuff he didn’t know about--some he'd never know about. But from the start...he had been up front with me. Had settled for friendship over the past months when he thought he couldn’t have more. Most people would have said ‘Fuck you’ a long time ago; moved on their merry way...still...I couldn’t let him be a part of my world.
"I can’t," it was almost a plea, "I don’t...I don’t want to hurt you."
He smiled, cupped my face as he stood on his knees, forcing me to look up at him, "Then don’t." He kissed me again.
I resisted at first. It wasn’t right! It wasn‘t...but I found myself pushing my way into his mouth to steal another taste, and I was hooked. Our tongues slid easily over each other, and every now-and-then I would suck just a little and--
"Mmph!" he broke away breathless, "If I said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times," his eyes were bright, "You’re a good kisser!"
I smirked as I put my arms around him and stood, pulled him up with me. The world tipped for a minute as we fell back on the bed, "You sure you really want this?" still skeptical, "I come with a lot of shit."
"Always wanted it," he said matter-of-factly, "The question was: did you? As for your ‘shit’--"
"Hey!" I jumped at his use of such foul language, making him laugh.
"As I was saying," he continued, "your ‘shit’ can always be changed--that is, if you want it to..."
I smiled. He was a persistent bastard. I answered him by placing soft kisses along his chin, jaw line, and neck as I worked his shirt off. Once free, I drew little circles with my tongue in that ticklish dip at the shoulder. He giggled, tried to push me away, but with just one hand I pinned his wrists above his head. As punishment for his interference I ran my teeth along that sensitive chord in the neck and a moan escaped his lips. I felt him getting excited and I smiled at the fact that I was the reason for it.
I was merciful enough to let his wrists go, but only so I could hold his hands on either side of his head. I flicked my tongue across a nipple, and he gasped at this new attack on his senses. I sucked, held it between my teeth, nibbled. He squirmed, head turning from side-to-side. I drew a line of kisses down his chest as he watched, pupils dilated. I stopped at his navel, fucked it with my tongue; first shallow, then deep, shallow again, sporadic...promises of things to come. He shivered.
I unbuttoned, then unzipped his jeans; reached back, pulled off his shoes. Being wet his pants were more difficult than the shirt to work off--but determination can be a bitch. When I finally had him completely naked, I sat back; took the time to just look at him.
Ever had one of those moments that just made you think: D-a-m-n?
"What?" he asked, blushing, all self-conscious.
"Nothing...you’re just...beautiful, is all."
He looked at me a minute, then something seemed to click. He smiled, held his arms up to me. I tugged at my boxers and when naked, went to him, hungry to feel him against me. He flinched as I touched him, and I hesitated, confused. What the fuck? Wasn’t he the one that came to me, damn near attacked me, let me strip him down--Wait...Don’t tell me this was a fuckin’ test? A game? Then something trickled down my spine that froze my anger. Made me stop. Naw...couldn’t be. The possibility of the 'thought' was just too damn hard to believe...but he was acting like...
"Have you...done this before?"
He blushed, shook his head, "Is that...a bad thing?"
I stared at him amazed, "No! It’s just surpr--" I tried again, "It just changes things--a little." I said using my knee and pushed his legs apart to settle between them. He tensed, but I moved my hips slowly, deliberately against his until he started his own rhythm opposite to mine. It wasn’t hard--well actually, it was, but I digress--to make him relax again. I don’t think he even realized when he pulled his legs up; when they wrapped around me. I had to cover his mouth to muffle the moans that had started deep in his throat, then thought better of it. Why did I care if the others heard him?
I pulled away, slid down, placed kisses across his stomach, then the inside of his thighs. His hips rose as I teased, but of course I avoided the spot he wanted me to touch most. I nipped a thigh for him to lay still, an order he followed obediently. I teased more then rewarded his patience; flicked my tongue across the tip and enjoyed his fingers as they gripped at the bed. I took him into my mouth, sucked softly on the tip, ran my teeth along the length. He gasped, his fingers tangling in my hair, clenching every now-and-then as I licked or sucked a particularly sensitive spot.
I licked my own fingers, moved them down and attempted to enter him. He jumped, eyes fearful of the potential invasion.
"If you want me to stop, I will,"
"No...I just..." he looked unsure.
"I can’t lie. It will hurt, but if you relax...it’ll help," he still looked unsure, but nodded his head yes, "If it hurts, you tell me."
I tried again, and he tensed, "Relax," I reminded him. I could see him struggling to, but then I was in. His brow was crinkled the whole time I waited for him to adjust, then when I saw that he was ok, I moved. He was quiet, his eyes closed as he became used to the sensation. I adjusted my angle, found the spot I was looking for...His eyes flew open and he sat up, grabbed my wrist, held it still so I couldn’t move it.
"What," he said, breathing heavy, "was that?"
"That, Love," I said smiling as I pushed him back down, kissed him, "was fun." I continued, listened to the whimpers and moans that had become oh-so-sweet to my ears. I inserted a second finger, then a third until he started to push hard against them.
"P-Please, Sharpshot," his eyes were hot, "I want--" he stopped, caught up in what I was doing to him. I don’t think he could have finished even if he wanted to, he didn't have to, I knew what he meant.
I got up, moved so that my back was against the headboard, pulled him on top of me. I tilted his head so that I could look directly into his eyes, laid my hands flat on the bed letting him know that it was up to him to set the pace. It was all in his court.
His arms went around my neck pulling me close as he lifted and put me at his entrance. He lowered slowly, at first taking just the tip, and then it was my turn to grab at the bed. Fuck! He was so--tight--but damn it felt good! His breath was ragged in my ear as his arms tightened around my neck, then once he had me completely inside, he sorta collapsed. I stroked his damp hair, whispered assurances, turned us over so that he was on bottom.
"Ok?" I asked. He was flushed, breathing heavy.
There was a worried pause, "I’m ok. Please...don‘t stop."
I tried it slow like I had with my fingers; waited for him to adjust, then at the right signal--
"Hijiri!" I laughed in my head. The others had to have heard us by now. Never knew my name could sound so loud--or good. He curled into me when I had hit the spot making his stomach clench, which made him even tighter. My orgasm built fast, so I tried to slow down, but he wasn’t having none of that. His legs went around me, "Don’t stop!" he begged. Hell. Don’t have to tell me twice! I lifted his legs, put them on my shoulders, gripped his waist while I pumped hard into him. His cries intensified by about a hundred. I couldn’t hold back any longer, but I wouldn‘t go until he did. I wrapped my fingers around him, pumped until his back arched off the bed. His fingers dug into my arms as he said my name before he exploded into my hand, allowing me to finally go. We collapsed together in a heated mass; waited for the world to start spinning again...
"Hijiri," I looked up when his fingers moved lazily through my hair, which was now as wet as his. His eyes were soft, but barely open as he muttered, "You know...this means you’re mine now. No turning back..." before drifting off to sleep. The bastard didn’t even wait for my reply.I stroked his cheek, thinking how lucky I had to be.
And that's where you found me.
I sat up, grabbed the abandoned bed sheet, wiped away our...mess. I lay down next to him, pulled him on top of me. In his sleep his arms settled around me, and I smiled as I stroked his back. I looked across the room to study him in the dresser mirror as we lay in bed. I sat up. What was that on his back? A bruise? His ex flashed through my mind. If I found out that fucker touched him...Ready to kill, I shifted him off to get a better look...and was blown away. It was definitely not a bruise. It was a chibi version of my tattoo done in green. Green? I didn’t think that was one of his colors--not that I really paid attention to that kind of thing...Somewhere in the old archives I remembered that green was suppose to be the opposite of read...Yeah, that would made sense. Its tail even wrapped just across the top of his ass. Cute!
I ran my hand over it, smiled stupidly as I laid a kiss right in the middle, "I guess this makes you mine."
I settled once again, placed him on top just as the sun broke past the horizon, and for the first time--in a long time--I just lay, and peacefully listened to the rain.
Before I met you
Before I held you in the night
I don't know how I survived...
***********************
Thanks for reading through all of this. It's the longest I've ever written (you just read 11 pages worth of gobbledeegook!!!), so I hope it was worth it. I only wish I had developed the character personalities more, but...what can ya do. ^_^ Promise I'll do better next time...~Budahbiff