Nebiros (COL)- Sacrilegus 7" EP

(Legiones De Nebiros 1994)

Natter the hype and the shit of the hype! Fate confered me the destiny to seek this EP from the four corners of the Earth and the seven seas, and of course I finally found it, the ULTRA-RARE unholy grail of all black metal written in bold on every satanic collector's Christmas wishlist! Is it a happy ending to a fairy tale?! NO! There is no fucking fairy tale in this god forsaken dump of NECROMANSY, and it isn't a happy ending either. Before I got myself with this exotic white elephant,  I should have taken some time to ask the next guy if Nebiros is a band which I will like, but all the next guys in the world doesn't have any clue or Nebiros in their possession. So, confident with my preconceived notion that Nebiro is that crazy evil Sarcofago-worshipping grave desecrating blackened death metal band (which came almost naturally without any apparent reasons) and contended that I've finally located the sucker who wanted to sell this, I wager the lot for this bloody 7" EP known as "Sacrilegus". With a title like that (and of course the appeal of being the only one in Singapore who can write a review on such a rare item), things usually can't go wrong. Or so I thought. When I got it in my mailbox one fine day, I thought I'm in for a real treat, although the bandphoto did put me off a bit (explained in detail laer). But, that blackened satanic bubble of Sarcofago maniacism lust burst into the beautiful rainbow when it made its way to the turntable. Holy shit, this is real distress! What the hell is with that warm, passionate acoustic guitars introduction on "Lado Obscura"? "Alright, stop being the narrow-minded prick, these guys are Latin Americans for heaven's sake so get on with it!" I thought to myself.  But when it gets to "La Sangre Del Traidor", that warm, passionate feeling becomes greatly augmented and it really falls short of my expectation greatly since that's like 2/3 of the stuffs covered on this 7". This is black metal from the frozen forests of the north! Wolves howl, ravens crowed and you don't even get a Mayhem! Oh, what can I fathom of those Dimmu Borgir-like ballads?! Hey, there's some cute Rotting Christ riffs and Samael-like vocals, which should give you a really nice consolation, don't you think so? Rick, you are screwed! Like a kid who have sunk his teeth into a bad part of the pie, but reckoned that the other side is still yummy, I desperately flipped the disc over and hoped that the band wisened up by making the last minutes a decent funeral for Christ's Death.  Unfortunately, if "La Sangre Del Traidor" is the merry bumblebee, "Sacrilegus" is the nectar from the sunflower. What can I say, this is the queen of the Priscillas, overdressed and flamboyant, the bane of all heterosexual metalheads! I DON'T want to describe any further! That's it, I've paid TOP $$$ for this crap! I could have paid my water bills (note: don't learn from me, I'm a financial disaster!)!!! Actually the photo of the bandmembers should be tell-tale signs on what kind of music they play. The corpsepainted young duo in Nebiros looks exactly juvenile and Nordic as the promo shot I took with my poser band back in '94. May I add that I looked much more evil than those chaps! This 7" EP is supposed to be a tribute of  a dead fellow known as Sacrilegus Hermano or something like that. He must be the god of black metal in Columbia 'cos Nebiros put him in the ranks with Dead and Euronymous! Anyway, this Hermano guy in the picture look probably as old as the Nebiros' chaps father so maybe he bought one of those Burzums for his kids' birthday . Alright that's not the main concern. The EP is limited to 333 copies and there are many other releases that are more limited and much better than this release, so why the heck people bother hunting for this one? If I put a Black Moses LP on NECROMANSY and tell everybody how rare or good it is, will that get the collectors restless? Yes! Unfortunately, the joke is on me. Verdict: Nebiros is just a faceless, kiddie black metal band from Columbia who managed to get hyped up by the naughty greedy bastards who like to make collectors look like idiots while asking $$$ for this shitty EP as well as the "Guerreros De Lucifer" LP put out by the same band.