BDSM is not just about pain. It is about pain balanced with pleasure. It is about only pleasure. It is about giving someone else control that you trust. It is about negotiation. It is about honoring limitations. It is about understanding about oneself. It is about understanding the difference between physical abuse and consentual desires. And still it is more than that.

While most people use wear black for effect, in truth the practice itself is as varied in colors and shades as the rainbow itself. It goes from teasing with feathers to playful spankings to things even heavier that I cannot mention here. But the truth is what is one person's kink is not necessarily the same as someone elses. And there is no one right way to play save for the credo of "Safe, Sane, Consentual and Fun".

Vaughn's experience includes having been on both sides of the whip. Being the submissive, the bottom and now the Dominant. He plays only with womyn and one womyn in particular, his wife Rishandra. He has played heavy and lightly. He has known what it is to be a submissive to a neglectful master to being a safe and responsible Dominant. He has 10yrs of experience and has learned from the elders of the scene. He's played at womyn only parties and at pansexual ones. The funny part is that he feels more comfortable at the pansexual ones than the womyn only parties. There seems to be more openness and acceptance of another person's kink at the pansexual parties than the same sex ones.

He is adept in the use of floggers and paddles, hands and fingers, fur and feathers, food and garden untensils, and anything else that would be fun. He believes in the use of safewords - both ones for physical difficulties and one for emotional ones. He believes in negotiation and contracts so people know exactly what is expected of them both submissive and dominant.

Rishandra has two years of study and then ten years of experience. All those years have been spent as a submissive however she has served as a service Top when Vaughn has the need to bottom. Her primary choice of IDing in the scene is that of a slave. Her reasons are that it allows her to be able to give herself totally, yield that total control that is a step beyond being a submissive.

Together Vaughn and Rishandra live a many facetted life together. From being husbutch and wife to Daddy and babygrrl to Master and slave plus many other play roles that may or may not encompass the leather life style. But no matter what roles they are involved in they invoke the ideals of Safe, Sane and Consentual. Leather is not just something they play at it is something they live with honor, and understanding 24/7 in one form or another.