story and Illustrations by Vickey
brickle--Macky
1992
The madness will not end! Will not let me be! Vincent'
mind screamed over and over as images, scenes, fragments of his
life, deeds done or imagined swirled and raced and raged at his
remaining vestages of sanity like a movie out control making him
him roar in anguished frustration and rage. His animal cries
rang out loudly, deafening to echo eerily against the rock walls
of the small cavern--magnifing all the sounds issuing from his
slavering mouth and bared fangs. He tore at the walls, bloodying
his hands, fiercely raking his long and deadly claws up and down
the hard granite walls that maddeningly would not give way
under his assault. He was too blind with rage to find the way out.
Since the walls would not give he began to tear at his now
offending hot, tight, and suffocating, clothes, that in his
unhinged mind impeded his movements and actions. They fell to
shreds as he tore and ripped them off his body, heedless of the
fact that he was raking, bloodying his own skin with those deadly
claws and tearing great hunks of fur and flesh off in his haste to
destroy whatever he dimly percieved as his madness, his
surroundings, or himself to end his torment.
The blood red haze of his mindless madness was upon him
full force. More than it had been earilier. He had thought it over
finally when his fever broke Above at Catherine's and he had
decided it was safe to return Below. It had not been over. It had
just been the lull before this firestorm that was overpowering and
eclipsing all that was kind, gentle, and human within him. He
was fully the beast as he had never been before--and he was
rapidly reaching the point of no return.
"Vincent!" Catherine screamed from somewhere behind him. Her
voice full of anguish and terror--for him--for herself. Then he
turned.
She was silent, wide eyed, afraid of him as she had
never been before because she sensed he was not there. The Vincent
she knew and loved was not there before her only the beast---and
it was swooping down upon her with jagged bloody claws and
gaping deadly fangs. There was no recognition in those souless,
dark blazing eyes--only hatred and the foreshadowing of her own
destruction.
He charged. The hands reached forward--inches from her
face--claws stained red with his blood and soon to be her blood as
well. As he was about to strike a killing blow--he stopped, caught
himself. A glimmer of recognition came into his eyes and he
realized what he had almost done and he collasped in front of her
in a tangled heavy heap upon the dirt floor of the cavern.
Stunned, Catherine rushed to his side and fell down beside
him on her knees o feeling for a pulse, a heartbeat within the
massive chest because he had stopped breathing and lay as if he
were dead! She could feel his spirit slip away!
"NO! YOU CAN"T LEAVE ---NOT WITHOUT ME! NO!--I WON"T LET
YOU! NOT WITHOUT ME!" she cried, she screamed at him, shaking him,
pounding on him, as the tears fell hot and heavy down her cheeks
and on to him.
Instinct, love, his madness, her madness, all life and
love shared through the bond prompted her forward to act, react in
desparation to his stillness, his slipping way. She threw her body
on top of his and seized his face in her hands, kissing his lips,
his face, calling him through the bond, blasting it open in ways it
had never been opened before because of her desparation and fear of
losing him forever. All her love, all her passion, concern, care,
and more was caught up in the power of those kisses, begging him
for a response, any response at all.
He was her life, the only life she ever wanted, the only
love she had ever known that was true, complete, and absolute in
all ways except one and now she would have him know what they had
denied each other. There would be no more barriers between them .
. . ever, from this day forever!
She increased the pressure of her lips upon those unique
lips, and slowly he began to respond--the bond soared to life
between them like electricity, only more intense, more beautiful,
like a flower unfolding to seek the sunlight of the morning, and
more. The closed eyes fluttered open, astounded, unbelieving, yet
believing, full of wonder for her, for what he felt--alive, full of
love, and the wanting of her.
"Catherine . . .," he murmurred confused, his still dull
mind beginning to react. His lips still pressed against her lips,
feeling the warmth, the wonder of her still clothed body atop of
his, her breasts pressing against his chest, her hips ground
against his, the smell of her hair, her face, her very feminine
essence assaulting, penetrating, slipping past what few defenses
he had left.
"Shh, my love. Just hold me, Vincent--Love me,. . . now,
. . . here, . . . for forever, . . . and for always," she told him
breathlessly as she deepened her kisses and felt him respond back
with increasing passion and fire for her, for both of them.
His mind, body and soul were one with her, as his arms
encircled her her waist and backandher held her tighter
toher,afraid that this was a dream, that shewould fade like mist if
he did not hold their hearts, their very beings to gether.
Carefully, she aroused his passions higher, feeling his
quickening responses beneath her. She kissed his neck, his bared
chest, touching him too with her small hands, delighting in his
feel, the scent of him, his all so very over powering masculine
essense.
Clothes were shed as the fires stirred this time had only
one way to be extinguished, and they had gone far past the point of
turning back, this was their journey's end, their journey's
beginning of their new life --together--with nothing but their love
between them. It was a dream, it was reality, for all their being
was centered, focused upon just the two and love they were finally
sharing. Nothing existed anywhere except them, not the cave, not
his former madness, not the people who waited, worried about them,
waiting outside the chamber, and time, their time, lay suspended
as they explored the ways of loving.
The bond hummed, sang, between them of their wonder in
their union as passion, escasty, and love in its purest form led
them higher and higher in tigher and more glorious spirals towards
their shared climax, like a nova of rainbow and golden bright
lights that was sweet beyond anything ever known, ever experienced.
Their merging was so intense that the bond could not contain their
joy, their love, their completeness within each other--for truly
they were one soul, one mind, one body. They had claimed one
another at last and never would the other let the other go. Their
merging was for. . . always.
Catherine knew too, that she had saved him, pulled him back
from his madness. He was free, she had him back, whole and
complete. Her Vincent, the man,not the beast ruled his mind now and
his soul as well as his heart. There was no turning back, no
retreat possible for either of them.
He collasped upon her, his exhaustion, his illness having
taken their toil of his great strength. She lay beneath him
savoring the wonder, the magic of it, enjoying the feel of their
bare skins finally touching at last and knowing this was only the
start of many days and nights of such joy together.
Then there was the quiet as she became aware ofher
surroundings, of the cave, of the dirt floor, of their nude bodies
entanged so intimately. Faintly, she could hear noises outside the
dark cave, voices talking low in worried, scared tones, and she
remembered---Father, Pascal, Mouse and who knows else stood vigil
waiting for them to emerge, or worse yet they would come look for
themselves to see if thing were okay.
Somehow she woke Vincent, got him to move, to help him
dress himself while she dressed herself. She hoped she didn't look
too rumpled in strange ways.
He finished dressing, and sat down by her still looking
dazed, unsure of himself, as if he had forgotten what had just
happened. He even looked like he didn't recognize her, didn't know
whoshe was or what they had just shared, but she put that down to
his tirenesss, and what he had been through. He looked as if he
was going to pass out again so she had him lay his head in her lap
and rest. He did sogratefully and was soon fast asleep. She just
held his head and stroked his tangled hair from his face with a
gentle touch.
It was on this scene not the other that she had dreaded
that Father walked in on. Nothing out of the ordinary, no
different from what he had always seen. She sighed inwardly with
relief.
By his torch light, Father saw her calmly sitting in the
middle of the chamber with Vincent's head on her lap and was
relieved that she was alright, at least outwardly, that Vincent had
done nothing to her.
"How is he?" Father asked hesitantly as he cautiously stood
on the threshold.
"He's alive!" she said happily, bubbling inside with her
secret joy and overwhelming love for the man she held so tenderly
in her arms.
She now that no matter what might happen next that what
they shared could never be lost, never be broken, and their love
was for always, for eternity. Only hours before he had spoken
out loud the words she knew had long gone unspoken and dwelt
only his secret heart. . . "No matter what happens, know that I
love you."
It had taken much for him to confess that to her, though it
had always been an unspoken truth between them. She had always
known how much he loved her, wanted her near, needed her as much
as she needed him. But until now he could not say those simple
words directly to her and lay his soul and heart bare to her. She
knew she had even more work ahead had to reach the gentle being
that loved her, make him feel their love, make their love the
catalyst that restored his sanity completely.
His dazed eyes opened and her green-grey eyes locked on to
his. With every fiber of her being she radiated her trust, her
belief in him, in their love while at the same time talking to
him in gentle, soothing tones. "Vincent, we need to get you to
your chamber. Can you walk? Let Father and I help you," she asked
as Father came nearer.
"Vincent, I love you. Trust in our bond. Feel my love. . . I
love you. I love you." She whispered softly, looking at him,
looking for some sign of recognition in his eyes that showed that
her words were registering on him. Only vagueness and confusion
were in those pools of liquid blue.
There were none, and she began to cry again. "Oh, Vincent,
No! You can't be gone from me. Vincent I need you! I love you!
Please come back to me, my love! She cried, grasping him more
tightly as she began to shake from the emotions flooding her
being. "You have to come back, my love." she pleaded, drawing
his head more downward towards her own.
Was it instinct or need, she did not know, but her lips sought
his and found them. He tried to draw back, startled, growling
softly, but he couldn't. She held him too firmly in her grasp,
deepening the kiss, putting all her love as well as all her passion
behind it.
Slowly he began to respond, meeting her passion with his
own, and as he did recognition began to take place in the dim
recesses of his maddened mind. He began to remember, to feel, to
recognize their bond as it existed that had been clouded over by
the beast and anger in his mind.
"Catherine. . . ." He murmured. Her name slipping out
unconsciously as their kiss deepened and intensified.
All else was forgotten as their bond leaped to life and as it
did awareness of who Catherine was and who he was returned to
Vincent. As that happened Vincent became happily aware of what he
was doing. What they were sharing. At first he had wanted to
break away from her--not allow this to happen, but he could not.
He wanted--he needed this as much as she did. He grasped her more
tightly, molding her body to his as he held her tenderly and
carefully gently in his arms.
She knew she had finally reached him--that her love, her
Vincent had returned to her. He was himself again, yet changed
somehow subtly. The animal was still there. She could sense it,
but it was now being held firmly at bay by the man, the fully
aware man that was becoming unafraid to show the depths of his
real love and his passion for her. Time and space were suspended
for them as their hunger and need for one another grew and
spiraled upward.
The sound of Father's embarrassed cough penetrated their
consciousness finally. They broke their kiss, both feeling very
self- conscious as they began to become aware of him watching, his
embarassment apparent, but there was also delight because they had
somehow broken their final barrier.
Catherine opened her eyes and shyly looked up with
embarrassment from Vincent, who was now staring out at Father, and
now Mouse and Pascal who had come in and had been watching the
interplay between two incrediously. In an instant Vincent became
fully conscious of where he was, what he had been doing in front of
them and how he was still holding and being held by Catherine.
"Catherine? Father? " He asked confused and still puzzled by
it all.
"It's alright, Vincent, it's over now. You're you again. I
think you can put me down now," she suggested smiling at him.
He nodded dumbly, still somewhat stunned by his public
behavior and display, and set her down gently upon her feet. "Are
you alright?" He asked her, looking her over worriedly. "I did
not hurt you, did I?" His concern rising.
"No. But how do you feel?" She asked cupping her hand under
his chin so that he would face her and answer her question.
He tried to turn away from her questioning glance but found
he could not. Her eyes held his and he bent to her will. Slowly,
hesitantly, he answered her. "Like I've awaken from both a
nightmare and a wonderful dream. You vanished the nightmare,
Catherine, with your love and your touch. You turned it into the
most beautiful of dreams. Surely what we just shared had to be a
dream for such reality could never have been so sweet."
She shook her head smiling, her eyes bright with love
and passion still inflamed from his touch. "No, my love. It was
real--all of it! Your kissing me was not a dream."
"Catherine, what can I say?"
"You need not say a thing. Your heart reached out to
mine, and the feelings you denied broke free. It was what we
both wanted--have always wanted."
He nodded slowly, searching her face seeing no deceptions
or falsity to her words. "Yes, your words are true. But this
bears more discussion--later." He told her agreeing , and
then he glanced up and over acknowledging the approaching men.
"And WE will discuss this--Later." He added his blue eyes holding
a look she had never seen before nor could not fully read.
Catherine looked surprised then pleased at his request, but
quickly nodded agreement to it. "Yes, we must." Then she turned
to meet the approaching group who looked happy and relieved to
see Vincent restored to them all.
The men helped Vincent walk back to the inhabited areas and
back to his chamber. He was shaker than he thought. Miracleously
the madness was gone, vanished, but there were gaps in his memory
he realized as he tried to put names to things and to people. It
was frustrating, and he hoped that it was only a temporary
condition.
Catherine was still worried about him, physically because
he was so wornout and drawn. He had been so close to dying and she
knew it. With time and with healing he would recover, grow
stronger, and this ordeal would be left far, far behind.
They arrived and got Vincent to bed. They did not bother
toundress him except to take off his boots. Gratefully he sank down
into its comforting softness and let himself be tucked in by
Catherine. Father did a quick medical checkover and pronounced
that he was back to normal.
"All he needs is rest and sleep," Father said putting away
his stethoscope and looking at her critically. "Catherine, you
need rest, too. If you like, the guest chambers are still
available?" he suggested.
"I should go back, Father. I have people coming tomorrow to
fix the damage that Vincent did to my apartment. And I have tons
of paperwork to catch up on."
"I see," Father said shoking his chin. "I was hoping you
and I could talk, now that we have Vincent safety back in his bed.
WE have some matters to discuss."
"WE do?" she asked innocently, her eyes failing to meet his.
"Yes, WE do. I suppose I don't get an explaination of what
happened in that cave, and what you did to restore Vincent to
himself?" he asked.
She looked at him sharply, and shook her head no. "No, I
can't. . . it's private."
"I see . . . ," Father replied slowly, his suspicions
getting confirmed. He shuffed uneasily before her, at a loss at
what to say next.
"Father, I'm sorry," Catherine said suddenly breaking the
tension between them.
"For what, Catherine? Doing what needed to be done"
"That. It seemed the only way to reach him."
"It worked. The crisis is past. He is resting and will
recover. Will you? He's not the only one that has been through
incresible stresses these last weeks. It's time you thought about
you and took care of yourself--for him--for both of you."
She looked at him surprised.
"Don't look so shocked, Catherine. I care about you, so does
everyone down here. You have a home here,-- always. Remember that.
Vincent hasn't been our only worry. We are all concerned about
you. Concerned as to what your plans are for the future. You life
can not continue as it has," he said gently, laying a reasurring
hand on her shoulder as she leaned on Vincent's writing table.
"I know that, Father. So much of my decisions rest on what
Vincent may want or not want."
"They shouldn't, but I know they do. What do you really want,
Catherine?"
"Me? What do I really want?" she smiled, and looked towards
Vincent's sleeping form on the bed. "A home, a family, to be with
him, safe and to keep him safe. Being Above, the work I do just
hasn't seemed that important. And the risk, the danger of being
discovered. With that reporter and police we came so close. Now
there's Elliot, he hasn't got all the pieces but he's starting to
figure it out. He'll keep out secrets for now, but sooner or later
I'll slip and we'll all be exposed. I really don't know what to
do," she told him worriedly.
"That has been my fear all along since the beginning of your
relationship with my son. How long will it be until they do tie
you with all the slasher killings? And through you discover
Vincent. We have been lucky that no one has taken Steven
seriously, but one day another reporter will come along and pick up
where the last left off. The danger, the risk, grows with each
passing day."
"Then what should I do?"
"Move Below. Live here with us, with your family, with
Vincent. Stay here where you will be safe. Where he will be safe,"
he said seriously.
She looked at him incrediously. "You're serious aren't
you?"
He nodded, with a smile, enjoying her surprise. "Yes, I am.
I have thought long and hard on this problem for sometime. I see it
as being the only solution to this. It can't go on like this. If it
does either you or him will end up serious hurt or dead. You take
too many risks and so does he. Risks that could hurt everyone
here."
"I know, I know, Father. The children, you, Mary, Vincent,
everyone. You all have worked so hard at building and maintaining
this world. The only other choice would be for me to vanish
completely from everyone's life, including his. And that I can't
do. Now more than ever I just can't walk away." she said looking
towards Vincent's sleeping form.
"I know, that is why I am making you this offer,
Catherine."
"But what if Vincent won't allow it. What if he wants me to
remain Above?" she questioned suddenly.
"Catherine, Catherine," he chided her, "do you think he
would really let you stay Above after whatever happened in the cave
happened?" he asked her with a twinkle inhis gray eyes.
"No, I suppose not," she laughed.
"My son is very territorial and possessive when it comes
to you. And he needs you, Cathy. He really does. It has taken all
this to show me how much he really does need you and how you need
him."
"It shows?"
"It shows. "
"Alright, I'll move Below. But I have to get my affairs
settled. Joe is not going to like my quitting," she said
reflectively.
"Yes, your work was invaluable to him. However, your job
has been becoming more and more dangerous to you. You could always
open a law office and start your own private pratice if life Below
becomes too --boring," he suggested.
"I might, though I will miss the challenges and rewards of
helping people who really do need my help. Father, there's so much
to think about," she said sadly.
"Yes, but you will be doing the right thing, for yourself,
for him, for everyone. We love you, Catherine. We want you to be
a real part of our lives, not just a helper, or a visitor, but one
of us-- actively involved in all that goes on, more than you are
now, Stay here tonight, in case he needs you, and get a good
night's sleep. William will fix you something if you are hungry and
Mary will find you some clean clothes. "
"I could probably use both," she laughed. "And a hot bath."
"I think we could arrange that," he grinned and motioned
for her to follow him.
She glanced back over to Vincent resting peacefully,
unaware of the major events that had just taken place that would
radically change his life in many ways. She didn't think he would
be too displeased with what was going to transpire, once he got
used to the idea ofher being aound all the time. She knew she was
not going to be too upset about giving up Above for Below if it
meant more time with him and building a life together. She sighed
happily and followed Father as he took her to the guest chamber.
* * *
Vincent awoke in the early hours of the morning feeling
somewhat shakey, disorientated, and yet changed somehow. He knew
something had happened but he wasn't sure what it was. His mind,
however, was not clear. Many parts of it were still wrapped in fog,
or confused images paraded past his mind's eye. Especially, how
had he gotten here? Where was he? Who was he?
People, faces, events, places, passages from stories and
poems flashed by, too fast to grasp, to comprehend fully. He
looked down at his hands in shock as if seeing them for the first
time, their hairness, the claws, the size and strenght inherent in
their design. He felt his face and discovered his uniqueness, and
his fangs. It warred with another image he kept in his heart. He
was not a man--he was the Beast, the creature that walked like man
and tried to be a man, and who had tried to love like a normal man.
And that thought produced another deeper one that had a
face, a beautifulface, and the soul of an angel, though to his
dispair he could not name the images that smiled so sweetly back at
him, with adoring green-gray eyes and upturned lips.
He knew he loved her with every fiber of his being, that
he'd lay down his life and had to keep this one safe and protected
from harm or care. He knew too that she loved him with out
reservation or hesitation. She called him her life and meant it.
It was incredible, it was wonderous, it was sad. A beast
and a beauty bond by love and forced apart by demands outside
themsleves. Yet still, a another memory tried to tug at him of
something wonderous happening between the two in a dark place. A
sharing, a deeper bonding than they had known, but the memory would
not come clear and remained elusively without.
He sighed deeply, frustrated at seeing only bits and spots
of a life that had been his. He who prided himself on his mind and
of his abilities to remember even the smallest pieces of
information years after it had been acquired. He clutched tightly
his his hands the patched bedspread as he looked around the vast
room trying to deciper its parts, trying to give names to objects
that he saw. Some he could, while others eluded him intirely.
He had been told that this was his chamber, his room, by
the man called Father, who must be his--Father? He knew with
absolute certainty that he was not this man's natural son, so
adopted, maybe? He did have strong feelings towards this
individual so that puzzle piece began to fit.
There was a rightness of being here, it comforted him, make
him feel safe, secure in his uncertainties that he was overwhelmed
with. Even the tapping, the sounds of metal on metal--pipes,
sounded familar and right as if they had always been and always
would be. As would be the golden glow coming from the large
stained glass window set into the side of room. Yes, this place was
his, his home. He remembered now as more and more of the objects
and their significances popped into place within his mind.
He sat up on the edge of the bed testing his reflexes,
checking for dizziness or other difficulties. So far so good, he
thought as he stood upandtook a few steps across the room to the
table. His legs were a little weak but not unduly so. Bravely, he
went in search of the bathroom, that somehow was firmly fixed in
his mind. Probably a hangover from childhood days, he thought.
Realizing his somewhat dirty and bedraggled state he washed and
changed his dirty clothes for clean ones. Feeling considerably
better being clean again he began exploring the rooms and corridors
beyond his own.
Some sixth sense had awakened Father and he arose from his
bed and hastely threw on his robe and found his slippers. He found
Vincent prowling around outside of his chambers, looking like a
child, lost and somewhat afraid.
"Ah, Vincent, you're awake? Feeling better?'" he asked
cheerfully, doing nothing to alarm the obviously nervous man,
Vincent looked startled. "Yes, . . . I'm not sure. Things
are strange to me, different," he replied somewhat sheepishly.
"Different? How?"
"Can't explain. Can't remember. Blanks, gaps in my mind
for words, names of things, objects, people."
"I see," Father replied carefully, coming more fully into
the room. "Here. Sit. I'll make us some tea," he ordered,
pointing him to sit in the large chair that was habitly reserved
for him as he busied himself to put some water in the pot for the
hot plate behind his desk.
"You're having problems remembering?" Father inquired.
Vincent sighed, "Yes, it frightens me."
"I understand. This should only be a temporary thing--this
memory loss. Try not to worry. You have been through a lot
recently," he said trying to sound reasurring.
"And if it's not?"
"Then we deal with it by filling in the gaps. Your
trials are passed. You need only to rest and recupurate from your
illness and the stress of the past weeks," he said coming to where
his son sat bringing with him two steaming cups of tea for them.
"Thank you, Father," Vincent said thanking him for the
warm liquid. "I will try to rest as you suggest. I do feel very
tired."
"Vincent, I think you should know that Catherine is
Below. I've asked her to move down here for her safety and --for
yours as well," Father told him, wanting tosee what his reaction
would be.
Vincent looked puzzled, and frowned, trying to shake
more of the cobwebs from his mind. "Catherine? Who is Catherine?"
That dumbfounded Father. He looked at his son in shock.
"Who is Catherine? Surely son, you jest?"
"No, Father, I don't. I told you I have lost a lot," he
said sadly, his bewildered expression leaving Father with no doubts
as to his sincerity.
"She is. . . your . . . girl, no your love. The woman
that you love," Father replied equally embarassed as he gropped for
a name to describe their relationship.
"Ahh, I understand. I see her face vividly in my mind,
but I could not put a name to that face," Vincent said relaxing and
so did Father.
"Good, very good. Yes, I see you do have problems.
Catherine can help you too get back your lost memories as will
everyone here, Below. You do know where we are at, don't you?"
Father questioned, worried that his son had forgotten that simple
fact as well.
"Yes, far below the city, underground. The tunnels."
"Yes," Father acknowledged and breathed a sigh of relief
as he took another sip of his tea and wished it was stronger.
"Catherine lives Above? Am I correct?" Vincent asked,
searching his memories, and Father nodded. "Why is she going to
come live Below? Is it because of me?"
"In a way, yes. Though it will be to protect you both from
harm, from danger. You both have almost lost your lives on a
number of occassions. I'm afraid I am also doing this for my own
selfish reasons to keep my shattered nerves intact. I am an old man
and your escapades with Catherine have shaken them considerably
these last few years. I have offerred Catherine a home with us, as
part of us, no longer separate and apart as she has been."
"And has she accepted?"
"Not entirely. She's sleeping on it. She's staying in the
guest chambers where she stayed whenher father died. It is
senseless to keep you two apart and put obstacles in your path. I
am removing those obstacles. Now it is only a case of whether she
can remove herself from her world and let go of it. It will not be
easy for her, but it will be easier than her trying to lead a
double life that puts everyone and everything in jeopardy," Father
explained, hoping his son understood.
Vincent sat back in his chair cradleing the cup in his hands
taking deep careful sips from it as he mulled over what Father had
just said. " It will be difficult for her. For both of us. I
recall problems from when she did stay below and my disappointment
when she returned Above. She wants to stay?"
"I believe so. Part of her decision will be hinged on your
reactions and responses to her. Whether she feels like you want her
to stay," Father said cautiously. "Do you want her to stay?"
"I. . . I'm not sure. A part of me does. The idea alone
brings me great happiness and joy, like a weight had been lifted
from my heart. Another part of me is afraid of her nearness, her
acceptance of me as wellas how she will accept living here away
from her world of sunlight and people," Vincent replied, struggling
with his memories.
"You don't remember what happened in the cave--with her?
With you? " Father questioned, watching him.
Vincent shook his head, his hair like a cloud. "No, only
pain, tremenous anger, but there is something just beyond the reach
of my memories. Something important happened. I know this--I feel
this--but what it is I don't know--can't grasp it," Vincent
apologized.
"Son, I'm not sure. I'm not even sure it's even my place to
say this, but I think that during that dark time in the cave,
after Catherine went in after you, you and her became. . .
lovers," Father told him somewhat embarassed to say such an
intimate thing.
"Lovers? Us? Catherine and I?" Vincent asked, his eyes wide
looking at his father in disbelief.
"Yes, you and Catherine. Catherine didn't come right out and
admit it, but all the signs were there. Then you and her were
kissing very. . . shall I say rather passionately before we got you
up to journey here. Mouse and Pascal even saw it if you don't
believe me. Vincent, it has been building between you two for a
long time. It was only a matter of time, and evidently that time
has come to pass," Father said trying to keep his objectivity.
"Father--I don't remember. I don't remember even that kiss
which you say Mouse and Pascal saw too. To make love and not even
have the slighest shred of rmemory of such an event. However can I
face Catherine? Or myself?" Vincent questioned , appalled that such
a thing could happen and he not know, feel it inside especially
with her, his beloved.
"Catherine is very understanding, Vincent. In time your
memory will be restored--all of it. In the meantime, I felt it
better that you should know and be prepared for whatever direction
your relationship with Catherine may lead."
"Yes, it is better I should know and face what may have
occurred. What if we have become . . . lovers, what if I have
made her pregnant? What then?" Vincent asked seriously, his fears
rising to the surface.
"If that has occurred then we deal with it when the time
comes, and with Catherine Below it should be considerably easier
on all concerned."
"What if Paracelsus was telling the truth about Anna, about
my birth?" Vincent said suddenly with a flash of grim memory.
"You remember?"
"Yes, . . . I do--unfortunately. That somehow has not fled
my mind,' he replied bitterly.
"Yes, I can see that. John was lying about your
conception and your birth. You were found Above, in the snow,
behind St Vincent's by Anna. He confused her miscarraige with your
birth. In his madness he made you into the son that he wanted. He
delibertly gloaded you into a killing rage, to make you go over
the edge to destroy what is good and decent in you and make the
dark side takeover. He almost succeeded if it hadn't been for
Catherine finding me when she did. John's lies were just that lies.
You were found and no one knows what your true origins really are,"
Father told him gently.
"Then I must accept that. Still I worry about my giving
Catherine a child, one that could look like me."
"There is that risk. Though I believe Catherine would
welcome any child of yours, no matter what it looked like as long
as it was yours."
"You think so?" Vincent asked not believing.
"I know it. That woman wants you, has wanted you and has
been hell-bent on proving it to you and to everyone down here.
I've seen her look at the children then at you and get this wishful
look, this longing in her eyes. She's burned all her bridges
except one and that is namely her work, to be with you to spend
time with you any way she could. And it because of the increasing
danger of her work to herself and to you that I've asked her to
come live Below permantely," Father told him, and Vincent nodded
accepting his logic.
"Yes, her work has become increasingly dangerous. So what
would you have me do in this new, changed situation?" Vincent asked
pointedly, cocking his head as he considered the possibilities
himself.
Father shrugged, and smiled. "I leave that for you and
Catherine to work out the details," he said watching Vincent's
amused expresion. "At least I have put you in a better mood. Are
you feeling better?"
"Some. This conversation has helped me remember---many
things. You said Catherine is in the guest chamber?" Vincent
asked.
Father nodded. "Yes, she's probably sleeping."
"Then I will bring her some tea. She and I have much to
discuss," he replied, getting up from his chair. His look was
abstracted, and speculative as he wandered over to the hot plate
and began making tea for Catherine and himself as well as another
for Father.
"Are you up to such a discussion?" Father asked curiously.
"I will have to be. I believe I already told Catherine
that we needed to talk when you came in to the cave. Yes, some
parts are returning, though not all yet. "
"That's a good sign. I will inform everyone not to distrub
you. You know how the children adore Catherine and will think
nothing of running in to see her or you," Father hinted, trying to
get used to the idea of his son's new relationship with his almost
daughter-in-law?
"That is wise, I think," Vincent commented, his back
towards him as he finished making tea. "I know not myself what
will or will not happen."
Vincent handed Father his tea before he picked up the other
cups carrying them carefully by their handles. "Thank you ,
Father, for being understanding and giving Catherine and I an
opportunity to work things out."
"It needed to be done for all our sakes and most
especially for yours and hers."
Vincent nodded in understanding and left in search of the
guest chamber. Father watched him go, a tear misting in his eye as
realized the transformation of his son into a man was complete now.
To deny him the happiness that was his would be cruel and compound
the disasters that had befallen him. What he was letting happen
now was the only sane course of action left. It should have been
done long before this, but the tide had turned and he could no
longer hold it back.
* * *
She was still asleep when he stepped across her threshold.
She looked like a little girl sleeping on her side, the patchwork
covers burying her small frame beneath them withonly her face
peeking out. Only one candle remained, burning low on the long
antique oak dresser across from the huge bed sending a feeble by
soft glow across the deep shadows of the room.
He set the two cups down and feeling bold, he lit a few
more around the room increasing its brightness. Catherine stirred,
an opened her eyes. She was surprised but unduly so, she had felt
his presence and that was what had awaken her.
"Good morning, I brought you some tea," he said coming over
to the beside with the cups. His eyes were shadowed so she could
not read the expression therein.
"Shouldn't I be waiting you? You're feeling better?" she
asked, fully awake now and examing closely.
"Yes, I am. However, my problem is with my memory. When
I awoke I did not recognize anything, or where I was, or know even
who I was. Slowly, it returns as things present themselves and
remind me. Father has been reminding and informing me of many
things," he said cautiously sitting down on the edge of a large
chair near her bed after he handed her her tea.
"Like what?" she asked, her senses alert.
"That you have decided to move Below,permantely and that
the nature of our relationship has . . . changed?" He replied,
carefully, his eyes still hooded in shadow.
"How specific was he?"
"Very."
She coughed nervously, "I see. And you don't remember?"
"No. . . I don't. I wish I did, but I don't. Did we?"
he asked, his voice soft, afraid, yet wanting despartely to know.
"Yes, we did."
He sighed mightly, and shook his head, then looked up into
the dark recesses of the ceiling too embarassed to meet her probing
gaze. "And was it terrible? Did I hurt you?" he asked in a still
quiet voice that trembled.
"No, Vincent,it was beautiful. It was the most beautiful
thing that has ever happened to me. You were dying. You fainted
then you stopped breathing and I couldn't let you go---I wouldn't
let you go. I kissed you and from somewhere deep inside you found
the strength to respond to love me back. All that you had been
holding back came forth like a fountain of feeling and desire,
consuming us both and making us both heal," she said her eyes shiny
with happiness and love for him, willing him to believe what she
had said was the truth.
He still could not meet her eyes, her looks of concern,
worry and love. "Catherine, I don't know what to say. I can't
remember, as hard as I try I can't. The most miracleous thing in
our lives and I can't remember any of it," he sais with a
bitterness.
She saw his distres and went to him, throwing off her
warm covers to race to his side, kneeling on the carpeted floor
beside his chair, heedless of the cold ground and the cool air.
"But I do, and I won't forget it. Give yourself time, " she told
him grasping his hand with both of hers.
"Catherine, you'll catch a chill like this," he said
alarmed, looking down at her fannel nightgown clad form.
"I don't care. It's you I'm worried about. What you're
feeling, what you must be thinking, about us, about me," she said
trying to understand.
"I'm not sure. It's all so new, and strange. So much to
accept. Catherine, please, you must get back in bed," he asked.
She shook her head and laughed. "No, my place is here
with you," she said and held his hand tighter.
"Then I must put you back," he said and without another
word he scooped her up and attempted to put her back in bed, but
she wouldn't let him go. She held on to him still, her arms locked
around his neck. "Catherine. . . ," he protested, " release me."
"Are you sure? she asked with a low giggle as she snuggled
even closer to his neck, sending shivers through him.
"No. I'm not sure of anything anymore. That's the problem.
I've lost what I was and am not sure what I am to become," she said
with a heavy sigh and she loosened her hold on him sensing his
deadly seriousness.
"Vincent, I'm sorry. You really don't know how to react
to us, do you?"
"No, . . . I don't. There were always barriers, lines we
dared not cross. There was safety in that in a way."
"Yes, I know. But those barriers have been dropping,
slowly, sometimes quickly. This time it's been too quickly. What
we wanted inour hearts has come to pass. It cannot be undone, nor
can it be denied. It did happen. We did make love, and it was
wonderful, beautiful, and more. It is more than a beginning, it is
the start of our new life --together--if you want that."
"I do, but I am still afraid."
"Of what?" she asked concerned and puzzled, stroking his
newly washed hair that smelled of sandlewood. She sat cross
legged on the bed, the covers thrown lightly over her legs while he
sat on the edge of the bed, his face cast downward in dispair.
"Of that I can't remember, of us and of the possibility of
a child,--already."
"If it is to be it will. I want your children, Vincent. I
want you. All that I am is yours, and a life without you is
impossible, sad, empty. You are my life, my joy, and my heart's
desire. I don't know how much plainer I can make it. I would feel
honored to have your children. I never felt that way about anyone
in my life before you."
He looked at her incrediously, like he could not believe,
yet wanted despartly to. "Even if we would have a child that looked
like me? One that could never know the warmth of the sun, the blue
of the sky, or walk the pathways of your world without fear?"
"Yes, and I would love them even more knowing that they
were yours. You still don't accept how beautiful and wonderful you
are to me,do you?" she asked, seeing the sadness in his eyes and
feeling it in her heart through him.
He shifted uncomfortably. "No, because I can see the
animal, the beast I am. Isee no beauty. I would spare a child the
pain I went through and go through yet. Catherine, how can you love
such a creature as I, knowing what I am what I can do and have
done?" His sad eyes meeting hers at last, holding them in his
search for truth.
"Because I love you and share that dark side too. There
are no differences between us except in your own mind. WE are one,
that is the truth you must believe."
"But our bond, I can no longer feel it. It's lost," he told
her worriedly.
"It's there still. It cannot change, nor can we. We will
always be connected."
"How? I have so many uncertainties."
"I don't. Trust me, trust our love, Vincent and our bond
will return," she said gently, moving closer to him and resting her
head on his shoulder and her hand reasurringly on his arm.
He moved so that his arm was encircling her, gathering him
close to him. He sighed, and smiled a little. "I must, for hope and
possibly is all we have."
"No, we have more--we have the reality of our love," she
told him reaching up and lightly kissing his cheek.
He turned towards her kiss, and their lips met, gently,
carefully. Fire on fire, flame burning bright and warm as they lost
themselves in that tender touch. Memory flooded back, memory of
the love shared in that dark cave that gave him back his life, his
soul, his heart. He gasped out loud as he felt the intensity and
the beauty of it as he experienced it all over again in a single
span of a heatbeat.
"Vincent, what is it?" Catherine asked, alarmed, pulling
back. Trying to find the source of his distress.
"A miracle, Catherine! I remember---I remember! And it was
beautiful!" he gasped in wonder his eyes sparkling.
She smiled, happy for him, for them. "Yes, it was."
"So this is what it is to know love?" he questioned,
childlike, still innocent.
She was stillsmiling, happy for him. feeling his joy, his
wonder and delight. "That was only the beginning. There is more,
much more if you are willing to learn?"
"Yes, I am that. Teach me, Catherine," he commanded, his
blue eyes blazing with smoldering fires that sent her heart soaring
and fanned her own inner flames.
He now lay almost on top of her, his body hard against hers.
"Here? Now?" she questioned, very surprisedat his sudden
boldness knowing there was nought but a blanket across the door for
privacy's sake as well as the possiblity of someone popping in--at
a critical embarassing point.
"We will not be distrubed. Father will make sure of that,"
he told her seriously, feeling her hestitantion and understanding
why.
"Father? What has Father to do with that?"
"He felt we might wish to be alone--very alone-- and he
should have issued orders for it to be so." Vincent replied,
sheepishly.
She laughed, not sure whether to be happy or angry at the
old man. "Sounds like he was pretty sure of you."
"No, of us. However, I do find it difficult to continue
knowing that we might have an audience. I suggest we retire to a
more appropiate, private spot to continue our discussion," he
suggested with a wicked gleam in his eyes.
She arched her eyebrow in curiousity. "What did you have in
mind?"
"There is a place I know of beyond the falls where we can
be alone. A secret retreat of mine."
"It sounds interesting. Do you want to go right now?" she
asked.
"Later, tonight. I want to prepare it for you--for us.
There are things we must both do so that we may have this time
together."
"Such as ?"
"Your work Above. People may be looking for you. You cannot
just vanish, too many questions would be asked. Your boss, Joe
Maxwell, will leave no stone unturned. I saw that when you were
being watched. He stood up for you when I could not come and
protect you. There is also your friend, Jenny. She worries much
about you. And there is Elliot Burch. He loves you, Catherine and
he has begun to suspect our secrets."
"He will not betray them or us, but meeting Father, and
hearing your name has made him very curious as did the trip through
the tunnels. He may put two and two together and figure out that
there is a whole world down here and that this is where my
mysterious man is."
"Yes, he is capable of doing that. But will he, try to
find you if you vanish?" Vincent questioned.
"I don't know. One is never sure with Elliot. He knows I
do not love him, but still he pursues. Which is sad, tragic for
him, because he is --can be a decent man. Destiny led me to you and
to him, but my destiny fromthe very first was always with you, even
when I thought I loved him, my heart knew I belonged only to you."
Catherine said with a sigh.
"And if you and I had not found one another?"
"We would have. Someway somehow, we would have met. I
have no doubts of that. It was our fate, our karma. . . ."
"That we would fall in love, despite the odds?"
"Yes," she smiled, "despite the odds," she agreed, and
brought his face down with her hands to kiss him once again, and to
reassure him that her love was for him alone.
"Catherine, we must talk," he told her when she did
release him. He was finding self-control difficult when she kissed
him like that.
"about your work. I have always been the one until now encouraging
you to go on despite the risks and dangers, but now . . . ."
"You feel it is dangerous to go on?"
"Yes, these past few months, . . . you have come so close
to death, and with the bond impared, . . . Catherine, I may not be
able to come to you, to . . . save you. . . if you were in real
danger. If I should ever lose you. . .? " he questioned seriously,
his voice almost cracking with emotion long kept suppressed.
She nodded in full understaning, realizing how much she
was really putting them both at risk as well as his fragile world.
She sighed heavily embarassed what her reckless actions had cost
all of both of them.
"You're right, Vincent, my work has almost exposed you.
Even now I worry what happened to the reporters notes and the
photos he took. They would be proff of your existence and out
connection. I've been able to sppress them so far but it's only a
matter of time. . . . We can't let it be destroyed. For the sake
of you, this world, I must quit my job and come Below permanently,
she said with determined resolutionin her voice and in her heart.
He looked up, his face a mixture of emotions, hope, fear,
dread, and joy, mingled. He grasped her hand gazing wondering in
her eyes to afraid to believe to trust her words quite yet. His
heart though, knew what she was feeling and what he felt.
"Catherine, once I would have agrued for you to stay Above
despite the risks, but you are right we can't go on like this.
What we have is important but this place is more than us. I accept
your decision to come Below. Catherine, know that I love you and
all I have ever wanted is you here, safe with me, by my side for
always," his voice whisper soft, surrounding her and making her
feel the touch of every word
His words moved her, a promise, a pledge and more. It was
hard to find her own voice so filled with love and hope was she as
she looked in to those deep blue pools and felt his hands
surrounding hers. They had made a committment beyond any that had
gone before, a committment that their lives would move forward
together as one and not separate and apart one foot in each others
worlds but in a brave new world they would create anew here, Below.
"This is what I have wanted, Vincent, always. I have
just been waiting for you to ask and for you to tell me what you
wanted," she told him and saw his nod of understanding.
"What I want?" he said with a shy smile. "To have our
dreams, all our dreams come true. We are making some of them come
true today. It will not be any easy path for the fears are still
many," he told her truthfully.
"I know, but they can be overcome--I know it."
"And they will be. No more can we be separate and
apart--our needs are too great and our committment is total.
Catherine, we have crossed that final line and I will not let you
go. Do accept this?" he asked know that he was being more open and
honest than he ever had been before.
"Yes, with all my heart, Vincent. I do not want you to
let me go--ever!' she said with love and happiness in her voice
because she knew he was finally claiming her and all that entailed.
Holding her eyes with his, his voice trembling with
emotion he asked, "Catherine, will you do me the honor of marrying
me and becoming my wife?"
Time lay suspended as her hear t soared happily becuase
he had finally asked the one thing she had waited long to hear from
those unique lips. "Yes, my love, I will marry you and be your
wife. Was there ever any doubt?" she asked joyfully with a tender
smile, leaning over and kissing him gently on the lips and he
wrapped them both in a warm and loving embrace as he deepened his
kiss and let her know how happy he was, so very happy.
"I will ask Father to see about the arrangements for our
wedding. As soon as possible," he told her still holding her
tight.
"Yes, as soon as possible," she agree delighting in this new
closeness and wanting more. "Vincent, love me--make love to me
--here now--please," she asked, feeling him shiver.
"Catherine," he gasped tightly as he released her a little,
the feel of her making him almost breathless and causing a
trembling within him that he had never acknowledged before. "You
are truly an angel. Are you real, and not a dream?"
"This is no dream, my love. Nor are the feelings we are
sharing meant to be denied tonight or ever again. This is our
someday that we talked about and what was always meant to be from
the time you found me." she answered, her eyes filled with the
love and the wanting of him.
"Yes," he answered simply, crowding volumes of words and
feeling into that gently spoken affirmation. He gazed down into her
eyes losing himself in their green-grey depths feeling their bond
intensify with every passing moment.
"What happened in the cave is still a dream to me. Does not
the reality of our joining again frighten you?" he asked sincerely.
"No, my love because I want it and need it as much as you
do. Only then will we be truly together, complete and whole at
last. Trust what you feel, let your heart lead you ," she
whispered moving closer to him, touching his chest lightly with
her small delicate hand.
"Catherine, I am still unsure. . . ." he started to say. But
she hushed him by touching her finger to his lips.
"Shh, my love. I know. Trust me, trust yourself and
everything will be wonderful," she smiled.
She molded her body to him, twining her arms around his
neck, then reached on tiptoe to lightly kiss him on his mouth. He
started to jerk back surprised but then he relaxed and responded
to her. His strong arms went around her, carefully at first and
then tighter as their passion increased. He felt on fire, all
his senses became alive aware, as hers did too as feelings long
denied rose to the surface and found their outlet at long last.
Without breaking their embrace he laid her back down upon the
bed. She looked so fragile and delicate upon them he began to be
afraid again and hesitated, wondering if he had the right to even
think about doing what he was about to do.
Catherine sensed his hesitation but there was no way that she
would relinquish her hold on him so she pulled him closer still to
her. She was very serious. He was not going to get away now. This
moment had waited for too long to be denied. He still held back,
hesitant, and unsure of what to do, and afraid of inadvertently
hurting her as had with Lisa.
She looked up at him searching his face, seeing his fears
clearly etched there in the worried deep blue eyes. She smiled
reassuringly, her eyes holding no fear of him, only trust and
absolute belief in their bond, in their love, and the rightness
of this moment in time. Her love for him gave him encouragement
and lessened his fears.
"I'm yours, Vincent. I have always been yours and you mine.
That is our truth. We are and have always been and always will
be--forever, my love--forever. "
"Yes, it is so. I know that now, in ways I never knew it
before. We are one heart, one soul. one mind, until the end of
time. I am not afraid," he said, his gravelly-velvet voice sending
shivers down her spine and make his limbs tremble with the wanting
of him.
"Nor I, my love. Kiss me, Vincent. Let yourself go with our
love," she begged, urging him on.
He smiled happily and bent his head slowly downward,
his unique lips were just a hairsbreadth from hers. She could
feel his warm heavy breath upon her and the trembling of his own
body as he lay suspended above her. He looked at her questioningly
from under his tawny lashes. Then he lowered his head further and
kissed her in earnest feeling her respond enthusiastically to
his rising passion.
Her hands began to work at the fastenings of his shirt.
Undoing the top buttons she slid her delicate hands underneath
the loosened collar, trying to make no sudden moves to frighten
him. She then ran her hands lightly across his softly furred chest
feeling him shiver with her touch. She explored upward to his
muscled neck and then ran her exploring fingers across his muscular
back. His eyes were closed and his breathing became more and more
rapid and gasping with each stroking and lingering touch.
"Catherine," he panted, fighting for some measure of control,
"your touch is like a flame upon my flesh."
"As yours is upon mine, my love." Catherine added, wanting
him to realize that the feelings they were sharing were mutual. "I
want you, VIncent. I have always wanted you. You are my life and
the man I want to spend an eternity of loving with."
He looked at her surprised, but he saw no deception there.
"You amaze me still, that you want me, want to make love to this
creature that I am."
"I see no creature, no beast as you think you are, only the
man that I love, and that man is beautiful both outside and in. I
do love you and that is all that matters," Catherine answered,
her voice soothing with the love and happiness that she felt at
that moment.
"And know too , that I love you, my beloved." Vincent
murmured as he bent his head down to kiss her rounded full
lips and tightened his embrace as he felt their emotions rise.
Vincent broke their kiss and began to nuzzle her neck with
both his lips and tongue, then boldly he excited her by nipping
her gently with his canines. She moved her head to allow him
greater access to her neck and shoulders as he began to explore
downward.
His hands caressed her carefully, cautiously and then with
more and more confidence as he found that she actually welcomed
his unpracticed touch upon her bare flesh as he revealed more and
more of it to his eyes and wandering hands. He knew then without
any doubts that she was his to do with as he wanted. It was clear
that she wanted fully to experience all that she had to offer.
He was gentle and sensitive to her every need as she was to
his growing urgent ones. There was no haste or rush to their
lovemaking. They both wanted to savor every moment shared, and to
delight in exploring their new levels of intimacy. When he
finally entered her, the sensations he experienced were beyond
anything that he could have ever imagined or dreamed. Was this
something unique to them due to the resonance within the bond or
something new that had never been? Even Catherine was overwhelmed
with what and how she felt as she merged with him not only on the
physical level but on the spiritual and psychic ones as well.
Their mutual climax was a super-nova that left both of them
breathless and profoundly trembling within each others arms. They
were numb inside and out.
Changing the physical aspects of their relationship had
also changed the spiritual aspects too. They could feel each
other on a deeper levels than they had been before. Making love
had reestablished what had been lost. They were connected more
intimately than they ever had been before.
They slept exhausted, but satisfied within the comforting
circle of each other arms. She looked so angelic, so happy lying
there in his arms. His soul had never been so content as in that
brief, flashing moment of realizing that it was not a dream and
that he was truly lying there beside her. He smiled and gently
kissed her forehead before he covered them both up and then lay
back down beside her to join her in their dreams and to plan for
their realites.
End
**************************************
