The Visitor
Story and Illustrations by Vickey Brickle-Macky 1992
He heard the sound of childish laughter echoing
merrily down
the corridor and mixed with it, another's, familiar, beloved--but
impossible! It sounded like--no, it couldn't be--Catherine's
laughter, he thought, his mind awhirl with emotions long
suppressed.
She's dead, has been for several years now.
Yet, . . . it
was her voice, her magic sounding, musical laugh mingling happily
with that of their son's.
Cat-quick, he raced to the entrance of his
chamber, careful
not make a sound least he break whatever spell had been wrought
within. He was not sure whether he was going mad or just imagining
things as he hid himself against the wall fading into the deep
shadows beyond the candle glow at the entrance way and peered in.
His bright blue eyes widened in disbelief and his heart pounded in
his throat as he beheld a miracle within the candle lit room.
It was his Catherine! Solid, real, alive,
wearing the tunnel
dress that Mary had made for her, kneeling as she played with their
almost six year old son who sat amidst his colored plastic blocks
on the faded red Persian rug. She was helping him build a house,
Vincent saw as he tried to control himself to just watch and listen
as she talked to Jacob who saw nothing strange about his mother
being there.
"Have you been a good boy since the
last time I was here?"
Catherine asked as she put a window piece into its socket.
"I think so, Mommy," he replied,
intent upon putting a block
in another spot. "Why haven't you been back to play with me?
You've been gone a long time," he asked, complaining about her
absence like she had been there before many times.
"I had to go away for awhile. Remember
that I told you I
can't come very much and I can't stay very long when I do?" she
asked him, trying not to look sad.
"I remember, but I wish you could stay
here for forever and
forever--like Daddy can," he said his blue eyes so like Vincent's
regarding her seriously.
"I wish I could too, sweetheart. I really
do . . . wish
that. How is your Daddy?" she asked carefully, seeing that her
answers had modified him for the moment.
He struggled his small shoulders, and reached
for some more
blocks. "Okay, I guess. Sometimes he's awful sad. He says he
still misses you and wishes you were here so you could know me. I
want to tell him, but I know I can't tell him our secret because
then he'll get more sad. Did I do right, Mommy?"
Catherine nodded solemnly, but then quickly
smiled reassuring
him. "You did right, Jacob. Daddy wouldn't understand. Is he
ever happy?" she asked.
"Sometimes. Only when we play together,
or he reads to me, or
plays with the other kids. Sometimes Mouse makes him laugh, and
Grandfather, but not often. Then there's Diana, from Above, she
sometimes comes down to visit--not too often because Father makes
her sad and she has to leave," he relayed, still busy with his
project.
Catherine was interested. She had heard Jacob
speak about
Diana before and knew who she was. "Why does he make her sad?" she
asked.
"I guess because he misses you so much.
I heard him tell her
one day that it was useless. That he could never love anyone like
he loved you. She started to cry and then left. She didn't come
back for a long time," he told his mother, who was looking very
thoughtful.
Vincent just stood there uncertain what to
do, listening until
he felt it was right for him to go in. If Catherine was aware of
him she didn't show it as she talked to Jacob.
"Your Daddy is silly sometimes. He'd
rather be alone than try
to find happiness with someone who loves him and who I think needs
him and he needs too. If only he'd had been more open I might
still be here . . . with him, . . . with you," she quickly said,
controlling her own sadness.
"Then he should see Diana?" Jacob
asked surprised, not
understanding his
mother's approval of the lady from Above.
"Yes, but that is up to your Daddy.
It's not good for him to
be alone, nor you either. You like Diana, don't you?"
"She's neat, and the other people down
here like her too. They
say she has a good heart and is always wanting to help. She seems
like she was born to the tunnels and she once told me that she's
rather be down here that up Above anytime. She really doesn't like
being Above, but she doesn't want to intrude on Daddy, even though
Grandpa said it'd be good for him to be intruded on. Grandpa has
always been sorry that you and Daddy didn't get a chance to be
together down here. He blames himself for standing in the way,"
Jacob relayed, seeing her smile.
"Oh, your Grandfather tried, but your
Daddy had his own mind
when it came to me. It was more your Daddy and I having a lot to
work out that kept us apart, not your Grandpa. Then there was my
work--it got more important than us sometimes. I still wonder what
would have happened if I had stayed Below after your Grandfather
Chandler died. I wondered a lot about that when I was expecting
you," she said her voice trailing off into sadness.
"When Daddy couldn't find you. They
told me you were dead,
but if you're dead, how come you're here playing with me?" he
asked, his eyes full of puzzlement.
"Because I wanted to see you and today's
a special day," she
said smiling again getting him to smile.
"Because it's my birthday?" he asked.
"Yes, because it's your birthday! And
because I love you so
much I just couldn't stay away," she said, bending down and kissing
him on the top of his head. "Happy Birthday, my little love. And
today I'm going to give you a special present."
"What is it?" he asked excitedly, jumping up.
"How would you like to go Above in the
daylight and ride on
the carousel?" she asked.
"Can I? Can I really? Daddy won't let
me go Above in the
daytime only at night with him. The other kids have told me about
the sun and how blue the sky is like in my picture books. But
won't Daddy get mad if I go with you?" he asked worried.
"He won't know and we'll be back before
he knows we're even
gone. Take my hand, Jacob, and then close your eyes and wish with
all your heart that you're Above. . . ." she told him, and he did
so, and before Vincent could even react they both turned
transparent and faded from view.
Vincent stood there stunned, looking at the empty spot where
his son and Catherine had been just a moment before. The
half-finished house of multicolored plastic blocks sitting dejected
along with the pieces the two had been using to build it. Had they
been really there or had he just imagined it all. Everything he had
witnessed and heard had been impossible, and yet . . . he knew
in his mind from experiences he had shared with Catherine--that
nothing was impossible. From magic doors, to ghosts, to the
fulfillment of his wildest hopes and dreams, all that he had shared
and done with her. And her parting words that echoed still within
his mind, "Though Lovers Be Lost--Death Shall Have No Dominion."
It had been a promise and a trust between them that death would
never keep them apart nor would their love be lost and it would
endure--forever--and for always.
Then as suddenly as they had left, his son
and Catherine were
back as if they had never left, except they were laughing and
giggling at some private joke. Jacob was sunburnt, and his hair
had leaves and twigs in it as if he had been rolling in the grass
and his elbows and knees had grass stains on them! Catherine even
had a few stains here and there herself on her peach colored gown
and grass and leaves cling to it too. But they had only been gone
a moment--hadn't they?
"That was fun, Mommy! I wish we could
do that every day,"
Jacob said.
"I wish we could too, but my time is
almost up. You won't
tell your Daddy I was here?" Catherine asked.
"No, but I wish I could. I wish Daddy
could see you and you
could make him happy again, Mommy," Jacob begged her.
She shook her head, her dark blonde hair
like a cloud around
her head. "Your Daddy has to find his own happiness without me and
to accept that I am gone. I hope he can find it with Diana. She
would be so good for him if he would only let her get close. Your
Daddy is so afraid of letting people get close," Catherine said
with a faraway look in her green-gray eyes.
"Not me," Jacob said, jumping up
and hugging his mother
tightly around her neck. "Don't go, Mommy, stay , stay here with
me?" he begged looking at her hopefully.
"I can't my love, I really can't. And
it is time to go," she
said giving him a kiss on his chubby check.
"No, Mommy, No!" he cried.
"I have to Jacob," she said lifting
his arms down. "You have
to be a brave boy and not cry, because that will make Mommy cry.
And we want to be happy, and feel happy, don't we?"
"Yes, Mommy," he replied, trying
not to cry and to smile. "If
you feel sad just remember the fun we had today and the Sun and the
Sky, how blue it was with the clouds and birds going by. Know that
I am always with you, and that I'll love you--forever. Be Good,
Jacob--Goodbye--for now," Catherine said as she kissed him goodbye
one last time and then stepped quickly away into the shadows of the
room and disappeared.
"Mommy? Mommy, where are you? Come Back
Mommy," Jacob cried,
looking forlornly at the spot that she disappeared to, but there
was no answer just echoing silence.
Jacob sat down dejectedly on the floor and
just stared at his
blocks and occasionally glancing at the shadows of the room. After
a while he cried silent tears, then lay down upon the floor and
slept.
Vincent watching from his own shadows finally
moved when he
saw Jacob go to sleep on the floor sensing that he should let his
son have this time alone to himself. As he, himself, needed the
time to recover and digest what he had seen and heard. He had to
have imagined all of it, he told himself. It hadn't been real,
couldn't have been real, but it had seemed like it to both of them.
He came quietly into the room and picked the small child up and
carried him to his bed and laid him down. He took off his shoes
and then covered him up, and then kissed his dark blonde hair.
Straightening himself up, Vincent went to
pick up the blocks
and put them back in their container, as he did so he saw a small
bouquet of fresh picked white clovers and dandelions in the middle
of the house. He glanced quickly back at his son and then to the
shadows where he had seen Catherine disappear. On the far reaches
of his hearing he could hear her laughter and feel her love and
reassurance that whatever he did would be okay and that he must go
forward and live life for both of them and not be afraid of loving
and being loved.
END
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