Solitary Places

i go to solitary places
and touch myself
dream abt me in wild open spaces
while chuckling rhymes off the silent breeze.

is it really true?
does it all begin here?  and end here?
me in the middle.
me no where, but everywhere but here with me.

when at times i see myself from outside
it is sad that i don't or can't let others
see the humor of my position.

but i  am not funny in solitary places
like i am when moved by forces outside myself.
Alone, i am funny and that is all.
All other times i am sadly funny to myself.

Did i say that?
Did i say that when alone by myself
sadly funny, not funnily sad? that is what i was thinking.
I should laugh at myself more often when i am not alone;
The only time when it is necessary to do so.   

The positions I strike
They are ridiculous I must admit
but they are me then when i am other than the me
I enjoy and perceive myself essentially to be.

Funny, but I can laugh at myself now, while alone.
No remorse, no sadness, that I said that, did that, lied
through those words and actions.
It was necessary, is necessary, I always say when i am
alone and truthful.

I must protect this ever-changing me that is as fragile
as the hardness i assume.