all right. i'm ready to get to the point which is what?
it leaves me bewildered for i know not what the truth of
the matter is. just what is to be and just what am i to
become? for some reason i do not feel that i fit in. i
wish for the unknown. i hunger for the adventure belonging
to those who do not belong. but i have a duty don't i?
not a but many. is that all that life is? i fear so.
ra tun you too exist for i say so.
i now do not know where i am going. turn on the
light that will show the path leading to what should be, not
what is to be. i fear what is to be. please turn on my
guiding light that will take me to the stars and beyond,
where i am. darkness everywhere don't you know that people
fear the dark? they know not what lurks behind your veil.
somewhere within the depths of what is there is a light
burning, showing the someone who can find it the way. where
have i not looked? beneath my feet? no. the earth, the
people of the earth, have stomped out the spark that once
burned beneath those feet clinging to what they know to be.
the caves of my mind have still to be explored. the secret
still lies somewhere within the darkness of the caves.
the light, the light cannot have been extinguished.
the evildoers, crusaders of reality, could not, must not
have captured all my mind. somewhere in the distance,
somewhere there is what they believe only to be a dream,
an illusion, but i know to be a mirage of my reality-----
beyond that, home. they have tried, mightily hard they
have tried to destroy me, what should be me, by killing
my realities. but i won't let them. i shall fly beyond
the moon, beyond the stars, beyond that which those of
earth think to be true, and there in that infinitude of
distance i will find, i know i will, what is there,
somewhere, beckoning to me. i hear its call. i feel
its pull. i am aware of its existence. but i know not
in which direction to travel or how to loose my mind from
the shackles of confined reality. i must tread lightly
upon this world. one day it will not exist. how much
longer will it take me to find my reality? a lifetime,
maybe a lifetime. and in death they will believe,
misinterpreters that they are, that i was conquered,
finally confined to their reality; death is very real.
but i and others will know better than they. my world may
have just reclaimed me. maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe,
maybe...
and maybe not.
some shall always win.
12/29/69