LAST UPDATE ON MARCH 22, 2002

(im the one on the left)

ashley/pinay/ 14/vallejo, ca.

(thanks mike!)

"Jus to let Yah know....This isn't a Poem It's NOT a story....NOT some spoken word........it is what is...."

"Daily Life" by mikey

4:00.....4:30.....5:45.......6:10....6:30..6:45.......times I see in the morning, sudden glimpses of present time as I awake into this fucked up world wondering what shitty thing could happen next...I awake get ready for school or work, constant reminders from mother to hurry up and get dressed due to the lack speed to get ready....Taking my time to look proper for either school or work.....for work your looking proper so u wont get fired... for school your a slave to the mirror, to look nice and not get made fun of at school....well...for most people……thoughts in my head constantly saying who gives a fuck what they say...as long as your comfortable and u dun look like a bum...If a Day at work for me, you get the constant sight of over 100 unfamiliar faces coming and going...once in awhile seeing a few friends and greeting them and bullshiitting about how tired u are and how ready u are to get off and go home and sleep or do other business...and also having some of the unfamiliar faces bickering at you because they're not having their way....most of the some, I consider fuckin stoopid because they don’t know how to read the signs in-front of them…all at one day of work...If a Day at school....u are a slave to 6 teachers for 45 minutes, sometimes u grow a friendly relationship with your teacher and later come to liking the time period....and other times you wish you had a bat to crush in the skull of that fuckin teacher that’s constantly on your ass, telling u to sit down when your trying to throw something away... or telling you to be quiet when your hardly talking...at times you really are, but u say your not so u can just get that chance to scream and talk back to the pisshead constantly picking at your nerves...other than that the day of skewl is slow n sluggish...lunch comes and I have the group of people to hang out with sometimes wid unnecessary drama that should have been left in junior high…. It’s a break from constant loading of useful information into my brain, later forgetting it but because, sometimes your brain can’t hold so much in a short period of time...that’s why there’s notes but for me I take a look at my paper and all I see is a scattered concoction soup of letters and numbers...not making one bit of sense at all......probably take an hour to figure it out, but I jus say fuck it, and I'll jus read it later...nothing else really important to say bout school...when at school or at work...your side thoughts and imagination still exists....usually will get u in trouble but hell, who doesn't day dream....when your bored...its one of the best things to do...I usually have constant visions of this gurl wishing I was wid her....thinking how nice it would be to just talk to her or even see her, knowing that jus seeing her for at least a minute would make me happy....das how much I love her...but what is love?...heh no one can answer it.…. later…other thoughts come outta nowhere which arise and become negative....thoughts of the same gurl, wid some other guy, talking to some other guy, seeing some other guy...and truthfully it bugs the shit out of me I don’t want to believe its true or even jus think that way....but somehow I have that feeling and it makes blood boil....as hard as I try to get it outta mind, it keeps coming back, as time passes everything falls into place that it could be true...hearing gossip....constantly waiting for her call and when knowing once the day ends and she hasn't called, its going make the next day just a little bit shittier.....But im not the kinda person who believes something that comes out the mouth of someone who isn't related to the problem....."gossip"....one of the main sources that causes drama....a situation originating somewhere then branching out like a tree to many different people going from one head to another and the story being more fucked up every time it leaves some asshole or bitches mouth....stories about how someone going to the mall and meeting their cousin...later become "I saw him at the mall and he this chick who he brought home and fucked her"......"Gossip" the Evil recreation of todays youth....

but anyways, Back on track...when School and work is over I make it home and do nothing but sit around all day and jus stare at objects in my house for several minutes at a time....always eating, watching TV and day dreaming...and again waiting for calls... Also after awhile I become a slave to this shitty computer and spending more time on it than anything else... locking my self away in my own cage only coming out when I need to refresh my self or Feed...this is my daily life...it happens everyday so I consider it a normal day...so most people who consider a day being really shitty, that…for me is a normal fuckin day ...Complaining ever so often that I never have anything to do.....when actually I really do.....day moves on into night and my energy is running out...being very irresponsible and not doing my homework when I’m not supposed too, or when I should..….then a Loud ring of a phone comes into my ears....then the thought passes...wondering who it could be when I pick it up, hoping its her or someone jus koo to talk to... doesn't really matter to me I need something to do....I pick up the phone and unfortunately its someone calling for my dad....I run downstairs to give him the phone and return to the cage where ill jus go ahead n start my Homework......9:20......being as lazy as I am, I lose interest or get tired of writing so I take a break and lay back in bed cause I’m doing my HW on the floor and I sleep on the floor I look up at the ceiling and suddenly visions get blurry and I have the feeling of slowly losing consciousness’...slowly falling into oblivion not knowing where I‘m going.....seeing white ceiling then black...over and over again..........

...black...white....black...white.....black........white.…..black........4:00.....4:30.....5:45...6:10....6:30.....6:45 …I’m awake again...glad to be alive for the next day but....realizing I didn't finish my HW.and knowing I’m screwed...and then the thought passes......she didn't call........

what a day it could be today...................................................

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