10" All-in-One Christmas Cake
(or Midwinter Festival Cake if you prefer)

This is from McDonnells Second Good Food Cook Book, slightly modified. It's the cake we always had at Christmas til I became vegan, now it's still the cake we have but with vegan egg replacer and margarine. It tastes, looks and smells exactly the same as the normal one. However, this didn't stop my mom from cutting it in half when it was done because she was sure I must have fucked it up. Fucking bitch. But enough of the Christmas cheer. Here's the recipe.

ingredients:
575g currants
375g sultanas
200g raisins
150g glace cherries, quartered, washed and dried
100g blanched, chopped almonds
150g mixed cut peel
grated rinds of 2 lemons
grated rind of 1 orange
3-4 tablespoons brandy/whiskey/rum
400g plain flour ................]
11/2 level tsps mixed spice..] sieved together
3/4 level tsp ground nutmeg]
100g ground almonds
300g vegan margarine at room temperature
350g dark brown sugar
egg substitute equivalent to 7 large eggs (I used Orgran 'No Egg' Egg Replacer. Click here for other alternatives)

  • Preheat oven to gas mark 1 / 275*F / 140*C. Prepare the tin. (Grease tin, line bottom of tin with two circles of greaseproof paper and sides with a strip of greaseproof paper, grease the paper with melted margarine. If this isn't clear click here for more detailed instructions.)
    Place all the ingredients together in a large bowl and beat with a wooden spoon until well mixed.
  • Place in the tin and smooth down the top with the back of a wet tablespoon.
  • Wrap a triple or quadruple thickness of newspaper around the outside of the tin and fold the overlap over the top. This is to prevent the outside getting burnt (I think - I do it cos my mom does it cos her mom did it cos her mom did it and so on and so on and so on).
  • Bake in the pre-heated oven for 4 to 4 and a half hours. Check at intervals after 3 hours.
  • Test cake - push a clean warmed metal skewer into the cake. If it comes out clean, the cake is ready. Allow to cool in the tin. Turn it out, remove papers, wrap in double greaseproof paper then in foil or a polythene bag and store in a cool dry place. We make skewer-holes in the cake and pour extra brandy/whiskey over it first but maybe we're just a bunch of pissheads. Well I think it tastes better anyway..

To ice cake:

Almond paste layer
Buy some marzipan, roll it out and stick it onto the cake. You could try to make vegan marzipan but I've only managed to find one recipe and it's a bit strange, it has brown sugar in it. I used Shamrock 'white' marzipan, meaning no additives or colouring. It's made in the E.U. so no bone char involved. I used 3 X 250g packs and it was still a bit thinly spread but in fairness I ate a lot of it while I was rolling it out so that's probably enough. Roll the marzipan out on a counter dusted with icing sugar. Roll a round piece for the top and a long strip for the sides. Heat up some apricot or raspberry jam and brush the cake with it, then stick the marzipan on. Make sure it's stuck on firmly. If there's still a while to go before Christmas, rewrap it, then when the culmination of said overhyped consume-o-fest is almost upon us (say anytime after the 20th), take it out and move onto the next stage of icing,

Royal Icing
Note: I haven't actually done this bit yet so I don't know if it works. Don't blame me if it ruins the cake and disgraces you in front of vegan-hating relatives.
Egg white replacer equivalent to 4 egg whites (just normal egg replacer works)
900g icing sugar
3 drops lemon juice
2 teaspoons glycerine

  • Sieve the icing sugar.
  • Prepare egg white replacer as instructed on packet. Beat EW replacer and lemon juice together with a fork.
    Using a wooden spoon, beat in the icing sugar, adding in small quantities and beating well between additions.
  • When ready, the icing should be smooth and glossy and form a peak with a fine point when the spoon is lifted from the bowl.
  • Beat in the glycerine if you're using it (to prevent the icing from getting too brittle, add too much and it'll go soft and crumbly). If you want to colour the icing, now's the time.
  • Scrape down the bowl with a clean scraper and cover with a damp cloth or place in a plastic container with a tight-fitting lid. Leave to stand at least one hour before use.
  • Spread it onto the cake as fast as possible using a hot wet knife. Have some hot water nearby to redip the knife if icing starts to stick to it.