The following newsclips are fake, however the love between the above pictured robots is real
- An outbreak of Cooties was quarantined today, initial carrier "Smelly Sally" could not be reached for comment, scientist's say this is not linked to the Bedbugs scare of '94.

-The X-games newest sport Extreme Spelling Bee recieved its first injury today as young Robert Shaw lost his balance performing an "Indy Nosebone" while spelling "Bodacious".

-The Trix rabbit revealed in an interviewthis week that Trix are in fact for kids and he will now focus on Heroin.

- The flying pig publicly apoligized today to the gaming community for the string of recent upsetsin sports and promises to remain grounded until the playoffs are over.
In a related story, with the death of the Snowball in Hell, many teams have forfeited the rest of their season. One Coach was sited saying, "now we really don't have a chance."

-The designers at Calvin Klein have been reviewing old movies' vision of the future as inspiration for their new fall line, which reportedly inlcudes mainly silver jumpsuits with big red V's.

- The spoonlift was unveiled today. Rob Smalton, inventor of the forklift said, "I prayed this day would never come."

-The Government has decided to rename Area 51. The new name, "NOT AN ALIEN STORAGE FACILITY" will begin on Monday.

- Donald Duck is recovering from surgery to remove excess salivary glands in his throat. He released this statement, "With a new clear voice I can pursue my singing career and follow up the 70's hit 'Disco Duck'. Now if Mickey Mouse's nuts would finally drop we could all start taking ourselves more serious."

- Reformed Cannibal Andrew Petersburgh, said everything changed for him when he realized that chicken "tastes like human."

-As a last resort, families of Dr. Kevorkian's "patients" have filed a lawsuit against pre-teens in Asia.

-Nasa admitted today the Uranus isn't really a planet but rather a "prank that got way out of hand."

- The Boogey Man today announced that he will now be known as the "Boogie Man". His focus will change from scaring small children to "woogeying" and "getting down".

-Smurfette is suing Papa Smurf for millions in unpaid child support.

- Parents are upset as millions of Pokemon toys and movies have been mistaken for the Pokey Mon, a jamaican porn star of the same name.

-Finally, MEDIA HYPE: what you need to know to protect your family. Is media hype lethal? Can it be stopped? We'll explore the sick exaggerated world of media hype and how you can stop it from destroying your life.