When it boiled down to it, Sara Sidle was as immature and spiteful as any teenage girl. Greg had offered her an out and she knew they would have so much more fun if they stayed in rather than go to the stuffy, formal party the Sheriff threw every year for the police force. But, she also knew that she really needed to do this. In a way, it was the coming out party that she never had.

Last year she’d gone to the Christmas party alone and spent the night hanging with Greg and Warrick and Nick. She and Greg had been dateless so it had been a night of betting on when Tina would talk Warrick into leaving and how long it would take for Vartann and Nick to out each other. They’d caught a cab back to his place and sobered each other up over coffee and college horror stories.

Tonight she was going on Greg’s arm, proudly displaying her engagement ring. They would take their usual place by the bar and lay the same bets all over again. But this time when they left together, they would return to the home they now shared and begin their Christmas celebration with wine, candles, and a well-timed call into the lab to let them know she wouldn’t be making it in. After all, she was completely maxed out on overtime and they could page her if needed.

She wanted Grissom to be at the party tonight. She wanted him to see what he was missing. She didn’t want him back, far from it, but she did want to see the look of disappointment on his face.

It hurt that he wasn’t speaking to her. No matter what happened between them, they’d always been able to remain friends. But since he’d learned of her engagement to Greg, “pass the luminal” was all she heard from her former lover. It hurt, but she knew he had his own issues to work through too. Suddenly she wasn’t there for him to use for release, and so much of their friendship had been based on the conversations that came when they were lying in bed. She didn’t hate him for it, but she did want to see if they could be friends again.

The red lingerie she’d bought to wear under the dress for tonight’s party was, she admitted, an early Christmas present for her fiancé. Greg didn’t want to go and she wanted this to smooth over his feelings. Hopefully, later, when the dress came off and he saw the bra and garter set, he’d forgive her insistence that they play politics when they could have had a quiet, and needed, night to themselves.

But she needed the lab to see her as the woman she was with Greg. She’d never put to bed the rumors of her sleeping with every available man and woman in the lab, but she was learning that it just wasn’t worth it to try. Tonight, though, she could show them a different woman, the woman Greg was able to bring out in her. Greg loved her for who she was under the clothes; he understood that a night in a pair of heels didn’t take away the fact that she was still one of the best Criminalists in the country.

Despite her nightly evidence to the contrary, Sara knew a thing or two about pinning up her hair. Slowly, and with the help of a few bobby-pins, her shoulder length bob was swept into an elegant twist. It was then that she realized she was without hairspray and so she only had prayer to hope that her hair wouldn’t fall down.

Her makeup wouldn’t change. She could try and try to give herself smoky eyes or a perfectly smooth complexion but it wasn’t worth the inevitable tantrum that would ensue when the look she wanted didn’t work out. So, her usual touch of mascara and eyeliner was accented only with a little bit more eye shadow than usual and a darker lipstick than the gloss she usually wore to work.

A quick knock on their bedroom door and movement on the stairs told her that Greg had finished getting ready and was now waiting, probably impatiently, for her. He wanted to get there and get back so that they could be alone together.

Carefully, she shrugged the dress over her body. As the red fabric fell around her ankles, she realized that in her reflection she saw the woman she used to dream of becoming. Of all the people in the world, it was Greg Sanders who had helped to bring that woman into being.

The spiteful part of her wanted Sofia to be there tonight. Sofia wasn’t completely to blame for the end of her relationship with Gil, but she had been the catalyst. Truth be told, she didn’t hate the other woman. She hated what the other woman’s presence had done to her and Grissom, but the split between the two of them had really happened long before the blonde had sauntered into their lives. If Sofia and Gil were together, she wanted to wish them happiness. But, the truth was, it was all but impossible to be happy when you were in love with Gil Grissom.

She’d been there. Maybe it could be a starting point with her and Sofia to forge some kind of friendship. Greg got along with her; she supposed that she should give it a try.

Truthfully, she hoped that Grissom would find some beautiful young co-ed while he was leading that seminar at Williams. He needed to be in love with someone who wasn’t anywhere near forensics. He needed to find himself in the woods at Walden Pond.

He wasn’t going to come back, not completely. This was it for the team; this would be the last formal party they all attended together as the graveyard unit they were right now. That realization hurt more than the rift between her and Grissom and she had to shake herself free of her train of thought before she started crying. Six years ago she’d been standing in front of her mirror, contemplating returning to San Francisco where she could maybe find happiness again. Looking down at her engagement ring, she’d never been happier to have stayed.

Allowing herself one last glance in the mirror, she grabbed her wrap and purse and headed to the stairs. Greg stood at the bottom, holding a rose, and the smile he gave her was brighter than the lights of the Strip.

Their eyes met and she knew that he understood her thought process.

“God, Sara …” he choked a bit. “You look amazing.”

“If that’s the monkey suit you want to wear to the altar,” she descended the stairs gracefully, “I won’t complain.”

“I’ll remember that.”

She took the rose and laughed as he caught her in a passionate kiss.

“Merry Christmas.” He whispered when they broke for air.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He squeezed her hand. “You ready to do this?”

“I am. Are you?” She smiled, knowing he was as nervous she was about presenting themselves to the entire lab for scrutiny.

“Yeah.” At the door to the condo, he stopped and looked at her, “We just have to stay for a little bit, right?”

“Just long enough to be polite.” She stepped out into the chilly December night. “Come on. Let’s go celebrate with our friends.”

For a moment they shared a sad smile. They didn’t know where they’d be a year from now. Grissom would probably be gone, Warrick and Tina would hopefully have solved their marriage issues and be parents, Catherine would be married, and Nick finally out and open to the world, but they wouldn’t see any of it because they’d be gone from this town, starting over in a new lab and with a new team. It was scary, but as Greg took her hand, she knew that no matter what, it would be okay.

“Merry Christmas, Babe.” She placed a tender kiss on his cheek.

“I love you.” He smiled softly at her.

Yes, she thought as he started up her car and they headed out into the night, it was okay that they didn’t know where they’d be next year. Right now, all that mattered were moments like this … and the anticipation of Greg seeing just what she was wearing under this dress.

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