Chapter 13

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"Hey, Vegeta, since our bar-b-que was such a success, we'll be having another get-together. We're thinking of having a costume party."

"Why should I be concerned?"

"Well, I want to give you plenty of time to think about your costume. Maybe we'll give prizes for most original and all that."

"You expect me to attend such foolish events? I do not think so." He headed for the kitchen and, hopefully, away from the Woman.

Bulma followed him. "Vegeta, it'll be fun."

"The Prince of All Saiyans does not have fun, unless it is at the expense of others."

"Then you're in luck. Everyone makes a fool of themselves at costume parties. You can attend and make fun of them."

"No."

"Goku will be there. I bet he'll have a really silly getup."

"No."

"Okay, I'll ask you later, seeing how you're undecided."

"Woman, are you stupid? What part of 'no' did you not comprehend? I will not change my mind."

Bulma just smiled and left. Vegeta watched her with unease. He knew the Woman had a talent for tricking him into doing things. He opened the fridge and poured himself a glass of milk. "I must be on my guard around that Woman. She is a crafty one."

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"Vegeta," she sang, "I have a present for you."

He looked up from tying his shoelaces. "What is it?"

She sat on the bed next to him and presented a sling-shot and a plastic triangle. "I noticed that you didn't wear this."

"What is it," he repeated.

"A jock-strap and cup. It's to protect your, umm, privates." She handed him the box and instructions. "Bad guys always fight dirty, you know. Or you might be victim to a freak accident."

The prince skimmed the instructions and tossed the box into the wastebasket. "Woman, I do not need such attire. A true warrior may use tricks, but he would not lower himself to such standards." He rose to leave.

"You never know, Vegeta. I'll leave it here for you, just in case you change your mind."

He continued to walk away from her.

Bulma picked up the plastic triangle and turned it over in her hands. "Funny how this looks just like an oxygen mask." She took a whiff. "Ewww, new plastic always smells so bad. Maybe if Vegeta wore it, it'd smell better."

She heard a thump and looked up in time to see her Saiyan scrambling to his feet and dusting off his knees. He apparently had fallen.

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"Vegeta!" Bulma ran out to the two sparring warriors. She held up the athletic supporter. "Vegeta, you forgot to put this on!"

The mighty Saiyan ignored her.

"Fine! I'll give it to Yamcha!"

Yamcha saw his chance. He aimed a left punch to the Saiyan's mid-section, doubling Vegeta over, and brought both hands in a fist down on the Saiyan's back. Vegeta hit the ground like a missile. The human fighter landed next to his friend.

"Way to distract him, Bulma. What did you say, anyway?"

Before she had a chance to reply, the Saiyan prince stalked over and snatched the elastic garment from her hand. Giving her a threatening glare, he stomped inside the house. Upon his return, Vegeta shot her one last dirty look before resuming his training with Yamcha.

Bulma took a quick gander at her Saiyan. No tale-tell strap lines. Stubborn fool. He had better not ruin their chances for children.

Thus emerged an undeclared challenge among the three. Bulma would aim to distract Vegeta. Vegeta would attempt to ignore her while sparring with Yamcha. Yamcha would try to survive since an angry Vegeta was a careless, dangerous Vegeta. The Saiyan would often forget the simple things, such as suppressing his strength and not killing.

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She rolled atop her sleeping Saiyan. "Vegetaaaa," she crooned. "Vegetaaa, Prince of All Saiyaaanss."

He grunted groggily.

"What do you wish to be?"

"Hmmm, king. I am the King of All Saiyans," muttered a sleeping prince.

"Perfect. I'll have your costume ready at the local shop."

Vegeta's eyes snapped open. Costume? His? He opened his mouth to negate the offer.

Bulma placed a slender finger over his lips. "Sshh. Don't ruin the moment." She planted a soft, slow kiss on his lips.

Moment? What moment? Is this a moment? His brain was still cloudy.

"You'll pick up your costume tomorrow. Got that?"

He nodded dumbly, his mind still stuck on the moment. His subconscious screamed that he had been tricked again, while his conscious just shrugged. At least he got a kiss from a gorgeous Woman.

Bulma snuggled closer to her husband. She still had ten more minutes before he began his training.

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"You are going to be one awesome king," exclaimed the store clerk.

"Of course, Boy. Go prepare my garments. I prefer a dark blue ensemble."

The young man ran to the stockroom and returned bearing the clothes. "Sorry, Sir. We just have the white ones." He showed the outfit to the Saiyan prince. "Would you like to try it on to make sure it fits?"

Vegeta eyed the clothes. "If the material stretches, then it should be fine."

The store clerk bagged the costume and handed Vegeta an extra package. "Don't forget this. A true king always wears this."

Vegeta looked at the item quizzically. "This is hair."

"Yeah, it's for your face."

"..."

"Have you seen a king without that hair gracing his face?" the guy retorted.

Vegeta thought of his father and the distinctive goatee. "Fine. Show me how to use it."

The clerk stood back and admired his handiwork. "Man, you are going to be one cool king, especially with that hair of yours. You're an original. All you need to finish off the outfit are white boots. And the king likes to do martial arts."

Vegeta smirked. He had the perfect boots and he definitely knew martial arts.

"Man, you've even got the royal smirk down!"

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While Vegeta changed into his costume, Bulma greeted the guests.

Goku arrived dressed as a horse. He set the head down in a corner. He wanted both hands free to eat. Chi-Chi covered her black locks with a blonde wig and wore a trenchcoat.

Krillin had gotten a deal on costumes, so he, Gohan, and Yamcha dressed as nuns. Puar came as a pirate.

Choutzu used foundation, wiped off six dots on his head and became Krillin. Tien donned a fedora and yellow suit a la Dick Tracy, Private Eye.

Piccolo took off his shoulder guards, carried a big stick, and came as Kami.

Oolong and Roshi, clad in pajamas, presented themselves as Hugh Hefner and his clone. They immediately settled in front of the television, searching for the adult channel.

Yamcha approached Goku's wife. "Chi-Chi, I know what all the others are, but what are you supposed to be?"

"Lady Godiva," came the prim answer.

Yamcha eyed her up and down. "What are you wearing underneath that trenchcoat?" He pictured a very conservative Chi-Chi-type bathing suit or woolen underwear.

"Body lotion."

The human fell to his knees; his hands clasped together.

Chi-Chi smiled down at him. "And the Lady rides her stallion tonight," she whispered seductively. Mrs. Son cinched her trenchcoat's belt tighter, accentuating a tiny waist, and left the stunned nun.

Gohan, the quiet little boy, followed Yamcha's gaze toward the ceiling. He shrugged, seeing nothing of interest. The little boy gave his friend a pat on the head and walked back to mingle with the others. He munched contentedly on a cookie.

"Bulma, your costume is so beautiful. You must be a princess," Chi-Chi gushed.

"Thank you. Actually, I'm a queen. And Vegeta will attend as a king."

"How unoriginal for that man. But I guess that you couldn't get him to be anything else."

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Pulling on his gold-tipped boots, he took one last look at his reflection. Staring back was the Prince of All Saiyans, dressed as The King. The white costume fit snuggly to his muscular body. The high collar of the top accentuated his newly adorned face. Vegeta decided to leave the lace top open, revealing a smooth, chiseled chest. The giant medallion at first confused him, but he found that it looped to the belt. He spread his arms to extend the short white cape.

The Saiyan prince observed himself in the mirror. "Ridiculous. No wonder this planet's monarchy is virtually extinct. A white outfit with so many jewels would be a beacon calling to the enemy."

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"Yo, Bro. What's wrong with Yamcha?" Krillin nodded toward the praying nun. "What'd your mom say to him," he asked Gohan.

"Oh, Mom just told him that she'll be having sex with Dad tonight," came the matter-of-fact reply. "I hope I get a brother out of this."

Krillin stared at the nine-year-old in dumb silence. Two minutes passed before curiosity reared its silly head. "Umm, Bro, where'd you learn about sex?" He almost felt guilty discussing such a topic in a religious costume.

"Mom gave me a text about the birds and the bees, thinking that it was on pollination. It's about fertilization. Do you want a cookie, Krillin? I'm getting myself another one."

Krillin shook his head. That boy was studying way too much.

Bulma awaited her king anxiously. She wore a luxurious seventeenth century European costume made of blue velvet and white lace. She knew her Saiyan had a predilection for blue and had hoped to match him.

The King entered the room. All eyes turned toward him and the talking ceased.

Goku regained his voice first. "Wow, Vegeta! You look great! When Chi- Chi told me that you'd be dressing up as a king, I didn't expect this!"

"Yeah, man," Krillin added. "Who'd ever guess Vegeta to be so hip!"

"I dig those 'burns. And that buckle...whoa! Dig the boots, man," came Yamcha's two cents. Puar giggled.

Tien, the greatest grudge holder of them all, and Chaotzu blinked in bewilderment. Piccolo, the wilderness dwelling Namek, remained apathetic to Vegeta's King. Roshi's and Oolong's eyes stayed glued to the television.

Bulma took one look at her king and promptly fainted. No one noticed, being too busy taking in the sight of Vegeta and his costume.

Goku galloped over and mock-sparred with Vegeta, forcing The King to counter with a few martial arts moves of his own.

The blue-haired hostess regained consciousness and watched wide-eyed. Never in her wildest imaginations could she predict that her Saiyan prince would show up as The King... of Rock and Roll - Elvis.

The party-goers ate, joked, and sparred. When it was over, they left for their respective homes. Bulma was a gracious hostess and saw her friends to the door. Vegeta never left the building. He lived at Capsule Corp.

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