Chapter 17

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The Saiyan prince reclined against the wall, impatient for the proceedings to begin. His Woman sat primly in front of the large oak desk.

"Now, Mrs. Briefs, are you sure that you want to annul this marriage?" asked the dapper lawyer.

Bulma nodded contemptuously. She was in a foul mood and did not trust herself to speak -- yet.

"Well, there are terms for an annulment," he explained. "Let me get some background information. I need both of your addresses."

Bulma gave the address to Capsule Corp.

"And Mr. Vegeta, where do you live?"

Vegeta grunted. "I reside with her."

The lawyer nodded. It was not unusual for separating couples to still share the same residence.

"Do you each have your own wing?" The question was a self-serving one. Bulma Briefs was one hot cookie, and she may be ready for a rebound, hopefully with the currently single attorney. He shuffled the papers importantly and slicked an eyebrow with a thumb.

"No," Bulma replied. "We share a room."

The lawyer's pen paused in mid-air. This was highly unusual. "But you do sleep in separate beds?" he asked almost hopefully.

Vegeta lost his patience. "She sleeps in my bed," was the blunt response. These inane questions were taking up his precious training time.

"I see." The attorney's heart sank. Damn. But he had to be a professional and earn his money. "Well, you can't get an annulment then, or a divorce for that matter. You have no real reason to dissolve this marriage. I doubt if the judge would grant it."

Bulma let a small smile cross her face and nodded.

The sociopathic Saiyan rapped the desk, causing the expensive piece to crumble. The human male screamed. Bulma remained silent. Apparently, the heiress was used to her husband's behaviour.

"What do you mean the marriage cannot be dissolved?" demanded the Saiyan. "I do not want to remain bound to her."

"But sir, you obviously still like her," explained the rattled attorney.

Vegeta growled. "I never said that."

"You still sleep with her," persisted the professional.

"What does my sharing a bed with her have anything to do with marriage?"

Was this guy serious? "You have to show that this marriage was a mistake. That you can't get along." The attorney turned to Bulma. "Has he ever hurt you, ma'am?"

Bulma shook her head.

"See, there's absolutely no reason for this annulment."

"I was tricked into the marriage. That is more than a mistake," asserted the mighty alien. Vegeta's patience was wearing as thin as a polyester/cotton t-shirt -- without the cotton.

"But you're still co-habitating with your wife," whined the exasperated professional. Really, these muscle-types were the densest. Obviously, the steroids shrank more than their testes. Yet, they always managed to get the girl. Life could be so unfair.

Bulma remained quiet, relishing the action.

Vegeta grasped the lawyer by his collar. "I demand that you do whatever is necessary to end this marriage."

The poor guy tried to extricate himself from the grip, but to no avail. "It's not a matter of what you must do, but what you've already done. Did you two ... uh ... you know ... " he tried to be descriptive with his hands.

Bulma giggled in girlish embarrassment.

Vegeta scowled at the crudeness of the act and shook the attorney violently. "If you are implying that we've f --"

"Vegeta!" Bulma admonished.

"...fornicated, then the answer is no." He gave a self-satisfied smirk.

Bulma sighed in relief. Her crazy husband actually did have some class.

Still bound in a grip of steel, the lawyer shook his head lamely. "No, no. It doesn't matter what you did before the marriage. That's moot. It's what you're doing now."

"We do nothing now," growled the Saiyan.

"But you sleep with her!" he cried and pointed a finger at the beauty. What normal heterosexual man would admit to doing nothing with the likes of Bulma Briefs?

Bulma winked sexily at her husband and blew him a kiss.

Vegeta's face colored. The trapped fellow could not discern whether his client's husband flushed from embarrassment or rage. A vigorous shake made him choose the latter.

"What business is it of yours who shares my bed?" demanded the Saiyan prince.

"It's the court's business. You can't get an annulment or divorce if you still do things like that," wheezed the man.

"We do nothing," repeated the prince.

"Riiight. You mean to tell me that you've never done it with her."

Vegeta shook the lawyer again. "Do what? Do not speak in riddles, imbecile."

"You know, you ... uh ... you ... see ... her ... naked ... "

"Do not be vulgar." Vegeta smacked the man. "Of course I've seen her without clothes. She practically sleeps that way."

"That's what I mean," wailed the swollen fellow. His face hurt. If it was possible, even his brain hurt. How dense was this guy? The lawyer had hoped that he would at least be an old, retired man when he suffered a brain infarct. Then it dawned on the educated fellow. "Sir, do you do anything besides sleep in that bed?"

"The furniture is only good for rest."

"Ah, so you've never seen ... or done ... or even ... " the lawyer leered at the lovely scientist and smacked his lips.

Bulma cringed.

Vegeta backhanded the lech, ensuring some dentist a good income. "If you are asking whether I've c --"

"Vegeta!" His wife cut him off again.

"... consummated the marriage, then the answer is no."

"Vegeta, where did you learn these words? You're really odd."

The mighty prince purposely ignored the question. No use revealing that he had to look the words up after reading the old woman's romance novels. He understood the words as actions, but anything else confounded him. The simple three-letter word gave him the most problems. Sex gave him orgasm. Orgasm gave him coitus. Coitus resulted in copulate, which brought him back to sex. And how the hell do you "make" love? Nouns should be concrete, not abstract.

The beleaguered fellow shook himself out of his pain-induced haze and pounced on an opening from this crazy situation. "If that's the case, then you can annul the marriage."

Vegeta relinquished his grip and dropped the man. The attorney crumpled to the ground and sighed in relief. The blood had begun to pool in his feet, causing them to swell. He hoped that his fine Italian leather shoes had not stretched too much. Getting new teeth was cheap; new designer shoes were another matter.

"Then get the procedure over with quickly," commanded the Saiyan.

Bulma frowned at her husband's revelation. What would people think if a beauty such as she could not even seduce a man -- even a strange man who used words such as fornicate and consummate. Hmmph!

"I'll have to fill out some paperwork, sir. Then I'll send it through the mail. All you two have to do is sign it and send it back. You should receive the documents in about two months."

Normally, there was more involved with the filing process, but the attorney hoped to be rid of this violent man as quickly as possible.

Two months to remain married to the Woman. "Do not delay," hissed the peeved Saiyan.

The beaten fellow gulped, wiped at his brow, and nodded dumbly. No wonder the freak was so grumpy and violent. He wasn't getting any.

Bulma leaned down and smacked the misshapen face. "Thanks for nothing," she sneered.

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