Chapter 4

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Recap: Opening the door, the sight before his eyes momentarily stunned him -- a writhing mass of naked tangled limbs were on the living room floor. "No! Not them....!"

His long locks stood out in shocks of black. Sweat rolled in rivulets down his massive back. Her blue hair whipped about wildly. She raised a hand to spank his bare bottom. The slap resounded throughout the house.

Vegeta clutched his stomach and clenched his teeth to keep the bile down. How could they? Yajirobe and Marron!

Kidding!

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Before he realized it, a scream tore through his throat. "AAAHHHGGG!"

The Briefs woman was around the corner watering the plants when she heard the tortured noise.

She quickly rounded the building and saw Vegeta stagger out the door and sink to the ground, pressing his fists to his eyes. She came closer and heard the anguished whimpered words, "... why... why now... why me..."

Fortunately, she still held the watering can and quickly dowsed his face with water.

Bewildered and sputtering, Vegeta grabbed the can away and glared up at her. "Are you trying to drown me, Woman?"

"Hey! I was just trying to help. I thought you ki-blasted your eyes by the way you were carrying on. What happened?"

"I saw...," he shuddered, unable to complete his sentence.

Bulma's mother and father cautiously peeked out from the doorway. "Uh, Bulma, Honey, is everything all right? We thought we heard screaming. But then again, that could have been us," her mother tittered. Her father lit a cigarette.

Bulma watched her parents and assessed the situation. Both were flushed and grinning ridiculously. Vegeta had his face turned so far away from them that she thought he came close to an exorcist imitation. Realizing what her guest must have seen, she pressed her lips together and tried to stifle a laugh. Her parents, though older, were still very much in love and very active. She winked at her them as they ducked back inside.

"Get up, Vegeta. Let's get you inside and cleaned up."

"Are they still in there?" he asked nervously.

"Nah. They should be gone by now. Let's go." She grabbed his arm, giving his biceps an appreciative squeeze, and entered the living room. Vegeta gazed cautiously about and let her guide him. Bulma looked down as she passed by the couch. "Hey, Dad, you forgot your thong!"

"The old man wears a thong?!!" Vegeta shrieked -- the first and only time in his life that he had ever shrieked. His eyelids slammed shut.

Bulmal thought quickly, so as to not further spook the Saiyan, "No, no. I mean thong as in slippers, flip-flops, shower shoes. Yeah, that's it." She deftly nudged the garment under the couch with her foot.

"Vegeta, this way. You can open your eyes again. We're in the kitchen now."

"Grr...my eyelids will not separate."

Bulma watched the Saiyan try to pry his eyelids apart with his thumbs and index fingers.

"They must have adhered together when I thought your old man was coming to retrieve his...," another sentence lingered.

Rifling around the cabinets, she finally found the hot water bottle and filled it with hot tap water. "Here, put this over your eyes. Maybe they'll relax enough for you to open them." The genius was wearing a denim tube top and showing off major cleavage. In her generosity, Bulma decided to give her guest a show to help him forget the recent events. She smiled smugly. Leaning across the table provocatively, she removed the hot water bottle from Vegeta's eyes.

He slowly peeled back his eyelids. He squinted, his vision still blurry from the mucous secreted by his ducts.

"What do you see, Vegeta?" her voice dripping sugar and honey.

He blinked, causing more mucous to film his eyes. Still squinting, "The plumber dared to return?" he growled menacingly.

"...Huh?!" Bulma whipped her head about before realization dawned. "You jerk! How dare you say something like that about my perfect breasts!" She was livid.

Vegeta continued to blink in confusion and winced at the tone of her voice. "Well, it did look like the disgusting backside of that hideous servant."

"You think that my breasts look like plumber's butt? You...you myopic moron!"

He held up a hand to stop any further screeching. With a deep breath, he started, "Your breasts are indeed more attractive."

Bulma relaxed into a smile.

He resumed, "Yours are less hairy and without boils."

"Aaagh!" She hurled the hot water bottle at him (which he easily caught) and stomped off.

Vegeta stared blankly after her. He had been honest, and he did compliment her, although that part disturbed him. In all his years, he had never deliberately praised another, so why did he do it for this loud-mouthed, temperamental female? He shrugged, chalking it up to his recent mental trauma, coupled with the fact that he wanted to shut her up quickly. Yes, those were the reasons.

The warrior finally made it to his room. He heard a light rap on the door and knew that it was she. "What, Woman?"

Bulma poked her head inside the room. "I guess I over-reacted a little. I know that you weren't in your right mind." Continuing before Vegeta could respond, "Anyway, you'll be fine. It'll just take some time to get over it. I remember freaking out when I first walked in on them myself. I hid in the bathroom for two hours, and it took me weeks to be able to look them in the eyes after that."

"Their eyes will be the only things that I can look at from now on," he mumbled. He shuddered again as the unbidden images re-entered his mind.

"Why don't you get ready for bed? You've been traumatized enough today."

As soon as the door closed, he went to the adjoining bathroom, showered, and changed into black silk pajama pants. He collapsed onto the bed and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

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"Mornin', Vegeta." Bulma had gotten up earlier than usual. After her guest's comment about her breasts last night, she decided to dress modestly in a light blue T-shirt and khaki clam-diggers.

Vegeta only grunted an acknowledgment as he reached for a glass of milk.

"Did you have a good sleep?"

"Hn."

"Sorry again for last night."

"Do not mention it. In fact, do not mention it ever again."

"Oh, really, now. You should be mature about this. It was a natural, beautiful act between two people in love."

"They should have been discreet and taken it to their room. Besides, if the act is so beautiful, then why do you humans use the term 'bump ugly'?"

"It's called 'making love' you overgrown delinquent!"

Seeing her mouth opening again, he interrupted, "No more. I am going to train. And I do not need flashes of them," he spat the words, "on my mind."

By noon, Vegeta took a break from his training and came in for a glass of water. Bulma sat at the kitchen counter on a barstool. "Lunch will be ready in a few minutes. Why don't you join me? Mom and Dad have gone grocery shopping."

They ate quietly. Vegeta ate neatly, yet with the gusto of a Saiyan. Bulma picked at her food as she watched him. Her curiosity exploded. "Vegeta, have you ever had sex?"

The prince stopped in mid-bite. He regarded her for a moment, finished chewing, and swallowed. "With males or females?"

The genius fell out of her chair. She clambered back into her seat as gracefully as possible and took a deep breath. "Uhmm, females?"

"No."

Her eyes widened in disbelief and her jaw dropped. "No way. Not in HFIL way!! Oh, no!" she hissed.

Vegeta continued to eat, never breaking his rhythm.

After a long pause, "With males?" she squeaked.

"No." He finished his meal.

Her face dead-panned. "Then why the HFIL did you say that?! Why couldn't you just answer yes or no to the first question!?"

He got up to return to the gravity machine. "I was not inclined to it. Why would you care anyway?"

She stared agape at his retreating back, regained her composure and let a few curses out, before Gasp! The Saiyan revealed that he had never had sex. How "interesting." A silly wicked grin began to etch itself across her face.

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Vegeta rummaged around in the refrigerator for a midnight snack. Grabbing an armful of fruit, he sat down at the kitchen table.

Bulma entered and yawned. He barely gave her a glance and said nothing. She went to the oven and pulled out a roast turkey. Setting it on the table before the Saiyan, she seated herself across from him.

"Here, Vegeta. You need to replenish your calories after that work-out."

He eyed her suspiciously.

"I just couldn't sleep. The novel I've been reading is getting scary. So, I thought that I'd join you." She pushed the turkey closer to him. "Dig in."

Vegeta ripped out a drumstick. Bulma watched him as he devoured the bird.

"Were there no women working for Frieza?"

He answered her around bites. "Frieza was the closest thing to a woman when I was in his ranks. Jeice came a close second." Only bones remained.

Bulma went back to the oven and pulled out a hunk of roast beef. She set it before the Saiyan. "You didn't rape the women of the planets you purged?"

Vegeta sneered in disgust. "I am a warrior. I live for battle. Saiyans do not participate in such sexual perversions." The last bite of meat disappeared down his throat.

Bulma smiled and retrieved several stacks of club sandwiches hidden in the back of the fridge. "You never had a lover?"

"No one had ever been worthy."

Five pizzas: "Have you ever thought of getting a wife?"

"A life-mate would be impossible, since my whole race had been destroyed. I did not dwell on it."

Ten bowls of noodles: "Life-mate?"

"Saiyans, as you Earthlings would put it, marry for life."

Two Peking ducks: "How many mates can a Saiyan have? Can they be of another race?"

"One. And yes, though that is rare."

One large vat of chocolate pudding: "No other women interested you enough for you to pursue?"

"My focus was to become the ultimate warrior and defeat Frieza. And no one had ever been worthy."

Three cheese cakes: "You've said that. What if one partner, after they marry, decides that they want someone else?"

"Impossible after a bond is complete. Saiyans are fiercely loyal to their mates. Besides, there would be consequences."

Ten sweet rolls: "Is a bond the Saiyan version of a marriage?"

"Something like that."

Four cartons of ice cream: "So, Saiyans bond for life and never stray."

"Yes."

"Wow! Excluding the tendency for violence, your race would have been perfect," the matrimonial-minded Bulma proclaimed.

"We *were* perfect." Vegeta wiped his mouth and left for his room.

Bulma thought about their conversation. A notion walked slowly across her mind and parked itself. "If Vegeta and I have sex, then I would be his first," she mused aloud. The genius never liked being second in anything.

His hand slipped on the bedroom doorknob. He thought he heard the Woman use his name and the words 'sex' and 'I' in the same sentence. He shook his head. He was imagining things.

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