Chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own DBZ…or any of the shows that I rip off!

000000000008D (The happy caterpillar is back by request!)

“So you see Vegeta, Bulma has been playing you all along!” Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf smiled evilly at his sick saiyan creator. “She played you like a violin at the annual saps convention!”

“Bulma is…evil?” Vegeta stared at Lucas, wondering idly why Luca kept flashing green and pink, not realising that the mushrooms were still affecting him to a very, very, very large degree.

“Yes Vegeta, Bulma a very bad person, you have to go out there and kill her! Get rid of her so she can’t cause any more damage.” Lucas urged Vegeta to stand up.

“But we’re mates now! I said I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.” Vegeta blinked as Lucas appeared to grow another head, then blinked again as the head shrank away. “Besides, I don’t feel too good, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten those mushrooms!” vegeta put a stomach to his churning stomach and winced.

“Oh Vegeta, don’t be silly, you’re fine. Just go out there and get her! She’s in the kitchen right now plotting how to get rid of you.” Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf grinned. “Besides, are you going to let some weak human boss you around? You have to show her who’s the boss!”

“I do?” Vegeta asked, Lucas nodded. “Yeah, I do!” Vegeta wobbled unstably to his feet and tried to give his usual evil smirk as he tottered off balance. “I’ll teach that woman to play me for a fool!”

With a crash Vegeta walked straight into the door and bounced back.

~*~

“Oh Bulmaaaaa….” Bulma froze as Vegeta thumped on the kitchen door and sang out to her in a singsong voice. “Let me in Bulma.” He crooned, deceptively soft sounding.

“No! Go away Vegeta you’re not thinking straight! You’re not well!” She cowered against the far wall and looked around for a weapon of some description. “Just stay away from me!” She warned.

“Stay away from you? But…WE’RE MATES!” Vegeta yelled the last line and began to try to knock down the door again. “I’m going to come in there Bulma, and when I do I’ll make you pay for trying to kill me!” Vegeta punctuated the end of his sentence by hurling himself against the door.

“I didn’t try to kill you!” Bulma screamed back over the noise. “It’s that bloody elf! He’s been lying to you Vegeta, don’t listen!”

“I haven’t been lying to him at all!”

Bulma squealed at the voice next to her and turned to see Lucas lounging against the wall, his gleaming smile aimed at her.

“You are trying to kill him…well, you will be.” The elf laughed merrily.

“You just stay away from me!” Bulma lunged at the elf and managed to knock him over. “Just because Vegeta can’t touch you doesn’t mean that I can’t! You see I figured it out Lucas! I know who and what you are now!” Bulma proudly puffed out her chest.

“Oh really?” Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf smiled at her mockingly. “I bet you don’t.”

“Fine then, here’s the truth! When Vegeta first got ill he started to create an imaginary friend and he created you, but Vegeta wasn’t well and he didn’t think you were fake, he believed in you, he believed in you so much that eventually you started to become real to him. At first only Vegeta was able to see you, because he was your creator and it was his energy you were feeding off. But as Vegeta got better again he still thought you were real…and by this time you were becoming real!” Bulma took a deep breath and continued. “As Vegeta got over the saiyan mating season thing you started to suck more energy out of him in a desperate bid to become real and somehow when we crash-landed on that planet you found some way of making yourself real!”

“Bravo Bulma! Bravo!” Lucas clapped. “You almost have it straight but your not quite there. You see I didn’t really became more real on that planet, you just felt me there because the entire planets atmosphere is highly charged with static electrons and they attached themselves to me giving me an aura of power which pushed you away from me when I bumped into you. Of course once we left that planet it faded…then of course we ran into that space anomaly.” Lucas threw back his head and laughed. “It affected us all in different ways, it took away Vegeta’s ability to lie for a few minutes, it took away your ability to move and speak for a few hours…and me, well it made me real! Somehow that space anomaly made me into a solid being.”

“My God! I should have known!” Bulma took a step back in fear. “I should have known that anomaly was bad news!” Her blue eyes widened.

“Yes, you should have…but you didn’t.” Lucas looked at Bulma slyly. “I was afraid at first that once the anomaly had passed that I would once again fade away, and in a way I did.” He looked at Bulma as if waiting for her to ask a question then he shrugged and continued. “I found that I could fade in and out of physical being because the anomaly had tied my physical presence with Vegeta’s.”

“I don’t…I don’t get it.” Bulma looked at kitchen door as Vegeta gave a bellow of rage and kept trying to knock it down.

“What I mean, my dear sweet Bulma, is that I am only solid because I’m feeding of Vegeta’s power, once Vegeta is dead all his energy will be released and I will be able to claim it and become solid once more and then, I will have you for my queen!”

“Never! I’d die before I touch you!” Bulma spat at the elf. “I didn’t know it before but…but I love Vegeta!” She gasped emotionally. “I love him, do you hear me, Elf! And nothing on earth is going to make me be your queen! If I kill Vegeta then I’ll kill myself too!” Bulma gave battle cry and threw herself at Lucas, knocking him through the kitchen door, which he passed through like a ghost.

Bulma hoped that Lucas would take a little while to get through the door again as she looked around for a hiding place. She needed somewhere to hide and to think.

But most of all she needed a plan…

~*~

“Vegeta! What’s wrong with you! Get this door down now!” Lucas frowned at the saiyan who was puffing with the effort already. “You can’t be that weak! All you did was eat a few of those silly mushrooms!” Lucas was flickering in and out of physical presence as Vegeta’s power rose and fell.

“I told you…I don’t…feel…so good.” Vegeta panted. He gathered his energy and took a deep breath. He straightened with a dark glint in his eyes. “But that…doesn’t matter…I’ll get in!” Vegeta walked across into the bathroom and came back through the door with several ornate hair pins, he stuck them into the door lock and began to pick the lock the way that Yamcha had shown him back on Earth when Bulma had tried to padlock the fridge shut.

After a few minutes the lock clicked and Vegeta burst into the room.

The empty Bulma-less room.

“Where? Where is she?” Vegeta scanned the room angrily and tried to sense her ki, but it was to no avail. Bulma it seemed had disappeared. Vegeta shrugged, it didn’t matter that much; she’d show up again eventually. For the meantime Vegeta planned to make use of his time in the kitchen!

“Vegeta! No! What are you doing? You have to find Bulma! Vegeta! Are you listening to me?” Lucas looked on in despair as Vegeta gave up looking for Bulma and began to ransack the kitchen cupboards looking for more food. Unbeknownst to the two men in the kitchen, Bulma sat in the air duct above their heads, watching them through the grating.

She watched as Vegeta’s power flickered and Lucas inturn flickered in and out of physical being and a brilliant planned formed in Bulma’s mind.

She knew how to kill Lucas once and for all - she just hoped that Vegeta didn’t get killed in the process!

~*~