Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z or any of the character, and neither do ssjgokuv2 or Pretty Freeza.

Notes: This was actually a role-playing IM conversation between ssjgokuv2 and Pretty Freeza, who is a friend of mine. So they technically wrote it, but I fixed it up and added narration. So if anything doesn't make sense, it's not my fault... lol.

Pretty Freeza: Hey there, big guy!

Goku: Um...hi. Do I know ya?

After years of not seeing Freeza, Goku had somehow forgotten who the pale creature was...

Pretty Freeza: Sure! Bwahhahaha! I'm Freeza, and I'm pretty! ^_^

Goku: (o_0)

Pretty Freeza: Gee you're nice e.e; =P

Goku: Since when are you pretty?

Pretty Freeza: Since forever! Isn't Zarbon kawaii!?!?!

Goku: No... I thought Trunks sliced you into a million pieces.

Pretty Freeza: Um... He did ^_^;; But oh well

Goku: I can't believe Gohan finished you off with one punch.

Pretty Freeza: ::gets quiet:: ::looks to the ground sheepishly:: *sniff* ::Cries:: Please don't bring back bad memories! Uwahhhh! It always makes me sooo sad...

Goku: ::covers ears:: Stop it! Stop crying! ::shakes head::

Pretty Freeza: ::Stops crying:: Sorry... ^_^;;

Goku: Ah, much better. Are you a girl or a boy? I always wondered that...

Pretty Freeza: Bwahhahahaha! And you shall never know!

Goku: Actually I already know. You're neither.

Pretty Freeza: o_o;;

Goku: Because you reproduce asexually, so there is no mother or father, and that's why you only have one parent.

Pretty Freeza: And a wonderful parent he is... XD

Goku: He called you a bastard.

Pretty Freeza: Oi vey. Damn him.

Goku: You know you're not that strong.

Pretty Freeza: e.e;

Goku: And you're as ugly as ever

Pretty Freeza: O_O ::eyes get all teary:: You evil monkey! How dare you! ::cries more::

Goku: I mean, whooh! I thought you looked ugly when you were sliced in half, both by your move and Trunks'.

Pretty Freeza: Uwahhhh!

Goku: ::covers ears:: Stop it. Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!

Pretty Freeza: Trunks thinks he's such a pretty boy...ha! ::stops:: o.o; ::skips around:: ::does the dance of joy, like Captain Ginyu::

Goku: ::fires a ki blast in front of Ugly Freeza::

Pretty Freeza: O_O ::ki blast fired in front of:: ::moves or something::

Goku: Stop playing around! What do you want?!

Pretty Freeza: Gee, you're awfully rude... I just wanted to say hi... *sniff* Gosh, Goku, I thought you were nicer...

Goku: O... so you wanted to say hi?...

Pretty Freeza: ::nods:: ::scratches nose::

Goku: Well, say hi to this... ::fires a jubie kamehameha:: You killed my best friend!

Pretty Freeza: O.O ::moves::

Goku: And you think I should be nice to you!

Pretty Freeza: e.e;

Goku: Errrrr ::goes SSJ4::

Pretty Freeza: Can't we just forget about all that nonsense?? ::looks at him:: O_O ::eye twitches:: It's those eyes!! Not again!! ::cries::

Goku: You think that we can just forget about all those planets and innocent lives you destroyed? ...Like Planet Vegeta...The saiya-jins...Vegeta's Father...My father...My best friend KRILLIN! ::screams:: ::twitches::

Pretty Freeza: Eeeep! I'm sorry!!

Goku: I'll never forgive you!

Pretty Freeza: What?! How mean of you! u.u

Goku: ::walks slowly towards Freeza::

Pretty Freeza: ::walked slowly towards:: o.o;; Gosh...

Goku: Everything you've done! Everything! I will finally put you away for good! ::stops::

Pretty Freeza: ::begs for mercy::

Goku: ::slaps him fifty feet away::

Pretty Freeza: ::slapped fifty feet away:: ::shocked::

Goku: ::turns head towards Freeza and walks in his direction:: ::kicks freeza in gut::

Pretty Freeza: 9.9; e.e; ::kicked in the gut and stuff::

Goku: How does it feel when you're on the receiving end!? Huh?!

Pretty Freeza: It feels....sad... o_o;; *Sniff*

Goku: ::studders back:: Wha?

Pretty Freeza: All those little bunnies...

Goku: ::goes normal Saiya-jin level::

Pretty Freeza: And squirrels... I felt so bad for them... So, I had to fight for their sake! ::cries::

Goku: ::turns face in disgust:: ::shakes::

Pretty Freeza: o.o;

Goku: FOR THEIR SAKE?! YOU KILLED THEM!

Pretty Freeza: O_O DID NOT! You stole them and stuff!!

Goku: ALL THOSE PLANETS YOU DESTROYED!

Pretty Freeza: Oh, jeez... The dumb planets... Forget about it... e.e;

Goku: How many people have you killed?! I bet its more than 150 billion! Maybe even more! And you're proud of it too! That's what disgusts me the most!

Pretty Freeza: ^_^ Just my job! Can't help it... Sorry.

Goku: ::screams and kicks Freeza in the air and grabs him::

Pretty Freeza: ::kicked in the air and grabbed::

Goku: ::grabs legs and arms::

Pretty Freeza: ::legs and arms grabbed:: e.e;

Goku: ::rams knee into Freeza's back and throws him into the ground::

Pretty Freeza: ::Doesn't care::

Goku: What's wrong with you, Freeza?

Pretty Freeza: Um... ^_^;; Well, my tummy hurts... and my head too.

Goku: You don't seem yourself, normally you would have tried and killed me by now... but you haven't...

Pretty Freeza: Sorry... I'm not really in the mood

Goku: ::floats down to the ground::

Pretty Freeza: I just needed a chitchat that's all. *Sigh* But obviously, no one wants to chat...

Goku: This isn't like you, Freeza.

Pretty Freeza: I know... Maybe I'm getting sick or something... Poor me...

Goku: It seems like you lost your fighting spirit.

Pretty Freeza: Fighting sucks now...

Goku: And you were once the universally dreaded Freeza. I'm... shocked... ::walks over to Freeza::

Pretty Freeza: Well, I'm starting something new! ^_^ I plan to go on stage and sing my favorite songs to everyone!

Goku: Now it's time to do something I should have done a long time ago

Pretty Freeza: O_O

Goku: ::extends hand::

Pretty Freeza: ::blinks:: ::looks at his hand::

Goku: Come on let me help you up.

Pretty Freeza: ::takes his hand:: Thank you! ^_^

Goku: Have you run into Cell down in HFIL?

Pretty Freeza: um... o.o

Goku: ::turns around to look at Freeza:: Freeza? Stop looking at me like that. We're best of friends now, right?

Pretty Freeza: Of course. ^_^ Anyway... Oh, right, Cell! Yeah he's a hottie. I love the whole "Bug" thing he has going on. ^-^

Goku: So what's been happening in HFIL?

Pretty Freeza: Erm... nuffin much... We played a few games of chess and things of that nature... I won three times!

Goku: Cool!

Pretty Freeza: Yeah!

Goku: Um... have you seen my father down there?

Pretty Freeza: No...sadly, no. *sigh*

Goku: ::puts head down depressed:: I wonder where he is? I haven't met him.

Pretty Freeza: I'm so sorry!

Goku: I couldn't find him when I died in the Cell battle. ::wipes tear away:: I searched all over the place and I couldn't find him! ::puts head on Freeza's shoulder and starts crying::

Pretty Freeza: ::pats him on the back:: There, there... I know these things can be hard sometimes...

Goku ::sniff:: ::sniff:: ::wipes tears away:: How do you know? ::sniff:: You have your father there with you.

Pretty Freeza: Yeah, but he's a major asshole, and he never ever pays attention to anything. What a dope. And when he does pay attention, he's too late. e.e;

Goku: Can you do me a favor? ::turns around::

Pretty Freeza: Of course.

Goku: Kill me.

Pretty Freeza: O_O Um... Why? o.o;

Goku: I want to find my father! Please!

Pretty Freeza: But... I can't do something like that!

Goku: Well, I can't wish him back with the dragonballs!

Pretty Freeza: It's against the rules... I've been going to these meetings for people that need help with not killing people, and I've been doing really well... I don't think I should mess it up now.. I'm so sorry.

Goku: ::kicks dirt:: It's not fair.

Pretty Freeza: ::looks at Goku sympathetically::

Goku: ::looks up in the sky:: Father? Where are you?

Pretty Freeza: Poor, poor, Goku-san... I wish I could help...but...I can't. Sorry... ::feels so bad::

Goku: It's not fair! You at least have your father! Vegeta has at least been with his for a couple years of his life.

Pretty Freeza: ::tear falls down cheek::

Goku: But me? I haven't even seen him. I don't even know what he looks like. All I know is that his name is Bardock.

Pretty Freeza: Vegeta, pfft! How the hell is that butthole doing anyways?

Goku: Him? Well, he's somehow had 2 children with Bulma.

Pretty Freeza: O_O Holy moly! o.o? Who's Bulma? A Chikyuu-jin?

Goku: It's the girl Ginyu possessed while we were fighting. Don't ask me how you're suppose to create babies. I didn't understand it on my wedding night and I don't understand it now. Gohan just appeared in Chi-chi's belly one day.

Pretty Freeza: Ginyu... ::Laughs:: He always was a character... Really? Gosh...

Goku: Yeah, I don't know what happened... One minute I'm drinking down a few beers and next thing I know I'm waking up to find out Chi-chi's pregnant! Same thing happened with Goten! I have no clue what happened.

Pretty Freeza: Wow! What an interesting life!

Goku: So I've decided to quit drinking.

Pretty Freeza: ::Nods::

Goku: Oh, yeah! I wanted to tell you... It's about Ginyu... poor guy. Bra, Vegeta's second baby, was in the garden when she saw a frog and smashed it with a rock.

Pretty Freeza: O_O Oh, my gosh! Noooooooooooooooo!

Goku: I know, I know...

Pretty Freeza: Ginyu!!! ::Cries::

Goku: But then Ginyu jumped out of the pond to bury his long and good friend. Vegeta wanted to help him so he fired a ki bolt into the ground to make the grave.

Pretty Freeza: Wow...

Goku: But killed Ginyu in the process.

Pretty Freeza: o_o; Awwwwww! ::Says a little prayer for Ginyu::

Goku: ::looks around:: ::sees mountains:: ::flies off towards them::

Pretty Freeza: ::blinks::

Goku: I'm going to see my dad. ::searches around looking this way and that::

Pretty Freeza: ::nods::

Goku: ::sees jagged rocks:: That should do perfectly.

Pretty Freeza: O_O What are you doing?! Don't kill yourself!

Goku: ::flies up in the air::

Pretty Freeza: Rule #42: No commiting suicide or letting friends commit suicide! ::Cries::

Goku: The only way you can stop me is by killing me, or getting in my way on the way down, but I don't advise getting in my way.

Pretty Freeza: O_O

Goku: Cuz I might push you into the rocks as well.

Pretty Freeza: Yeah....

Goku: ::flies downwards::

Pretty Freeza: Oh, well! Ja-ne! Have a nice fall!

Goku: ::70 meters::

Pretty Freeza: :D

Goku: ::50 meters:: ... ::30 meters::

Pretty Freeza: Make sure there's lots of blood! The more, the better!

Goku: ::10 meters::

Pretty Freeza: ::waves::

Goku ::stops 1 inch away::

Pretty Freeza: O_O Whoa... ^_^;;

Goku: I can't do it!

Pretty Freeza: Yay, Goku! I knew you couldn't!

Goku: ::senses something::

Pretty Freeza: ::claps::

Goku: ::looks to the right::

Pretty Freeza: o.o;

Goku: :D ::flies to the right:: ::crashes into a mountain::

Pretty Freeza: O.O

Goku: I found it! The 7th Dragonball !

Pretty Freeza: Um... ^_^?? Oh!

Goku: I can see if I can wish Dad back!

Pretty Freeza: Immortality!! :D!! ::shuts mouth::

Goku: ::pulls out 6 dragonballs

Pretty Freeza: o_o

Goku: Did you say something?

Pretty Freeza: ::looks at the dragonballs:: Nah... ::eyes get all shiny and stuff::

Goku: You sure? I thought I heard something like "impossible," or "imparity," or something.

Pretty Freeza: ::Thinks to self:: Immortality Freeza!! Here's your chance! ::outloud:: Um...no! Silly!

Goku: ::raises eyebrow::

Pretty Freeza: I said nothing like that! ^_^;;; Go ahead! Make the wish boy! ::laughs nervously::

Goku: ::thinks to self:: Can I trust him? I mean, he did want immortality. And he speaks the language of the dragon. I can't risk it. ::stands up:: ::raises hand and two fingers::

Pretty Freeza: ::thinks to self again:: Immortality!! Finally!! Yatta!!-- NO! I can't! Rule #124 states that I can't wish for immortality! No no no! ;x

Goku: ::fires 6 beams::

Pretty Freeza: O_O

Goku: ::the rings slam Freeza into a wall, 1 on his wrist, 1 on his other wrist, 1 on his ankle, 1 on his other ankle, 1 on his neck, and 1 on his tail, pinning him down:: You can thank Vegeta for teaching me that move; he used it on me. ::fires 1 more beam covering the mouth:: There now there are no interruptions.

Pretty Freeza: ::Blinks::

Goku: ::places all 7 dragonballs on the ground::

Pretty Freeza: ::thinks:: Damn it!

Goku: Arise Dragon! And grant my wish!

Pretty Freeza: ::Watches::

Shenron (aka Shenlon, Shenlong, the Eternal Dragon, hell, you can call him Elvis for all I care!) appears.

Goku: ::covers eyes:: Dragon! I wish for a Saiya-jin named Bardock to be returned to this physical plane!

Pretty Freeza: O_O ::thinks:: Awwwww! *Sniff*

Shenron: Your wish is unacceptable. The Saiya-jin named Bardock no longer exists.

Goku: Nani?

Pretty Freeza: o.o;

Shenron: He is in neither HFIL, Heaven, nor this dimension.

Goku: What happened to him!?

Pretty Freeza: ::thinks:: Daaaaaamn o.o

Shenron: An alien named Freeza destroyed him in HFIL, making him fully disappear from all dimensions, long ago for having a son named Kakarotto. Now please tell me your wish.

Pretty Freeza: x.x!!

Goku: ::looks at Freeza::

Pretty Freeza: ::Looked at:: ^_^;;

Goku: How could you?

Pretty Freeza: ;x

Goku: I wish for nothing, Dragon!

Pretty Freeza: o.x

Shenron disappears.

Goku: ::removes bar covering Freeza's mouth::

Pretty Freeza: :D

Goku: Now you won't be able to wish for immortality.

Pretty Freeza: Damn... Oh, well! ::Shrugs::

Goku: Why did you do it? Why did you kill my father?

Pretty Freeza: Boredness... or something like that. ^_^;; ::thinks to self:: Hey, even a dead guy's gotta eat... ::Gets ready to be killed::

Goku: You said you had no idea where he was. No wonder I couldn't find him when Cell killed me. I bet you destroyed him as soon as you saw him, didn't you?

Pretty Freeza: o.o; Nahhhh! ::Blinks::

Goku: I order you to death by dismemberment. I'm sure you remember this trick, you used it to cut Namek in almost two pieces.

Pretty Freeza: You should really come to my show this week! I'm singing some songs! Cell will be there! I'm a bit scared but... I'll try my best! o.o;;; *Sigh* I'm sorry but I must get to my show next week... It's my dream.

Goku: ::face becomes stern:: You killed my father, there's nothing you can do to get out of this.

Pretty Freeza: Damn...

Goku: I must avenge him.

Pretty Freeza: Nah, you should just move on... It's a petty thing.

Goku: First you send him to HFIL, and then you destroyed him for good, making it so that even his spirit doesn't exist anymore!

Pretty Freeza: Look, the guy was a major butthole, a monkey-loser. I did him a favor.

Goku: Errrr...

Pretty Freeza: ^_^

Goku: you haven't changed

Pretty Freeza: O.O I have too changed! How dare you! u.u You meanie!

Goku: Squirm all you want; those restraints are unbreakable. The only way to get out is if you pull out stone with you, and I doubt you can do that.

Pretty Freeza: Now, you wonder why I killed you monkeys off! Pfft! Oi vey...

Goku: I don't care if they were my kind!

Pretty Freeza: e.e;

Goku: The fact of the matter is that you killed my father! Now I'll never be able to meet him! ::falls to knees::

Pretty Freeza: Get over it.

Goku: ::cries::

Pretty Freeza: It's no biggie

Goku: You don't understand!

Pretty Freeza: Don't cry...*Sniff* ::Sobs::

Goku: ::starts pounding on the ground::

Pretty Freeza: o.o;

Goku: IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR! ::stops pounding::

Pretty Freeza: Finished? o_o;

Goku: ::stands up::

Pretty Freeza: ::blink blink::

Goku: ::fires a ki beam covering Freeza's mouth again:: I forgot to mention

Pretty Freeza: ::thinks:: e.e daaaamn

Goku: We get two wishes now with our dragon, thanks to Dende. What? You don't know who Dende is? He's the Namek who wished for everyone but you and me to earth.

Pretty Freeza: O.O

Goku: Ah, I'm sure you remember him now

Pretty Freeza: x.x

Goku: ::goes over to the dragonballs:: Rise, Dragon!

Shenron appears again.

Pretty Freeza: ^.^;;

Goku: I wish to have the Saiya-jin named Bardock to appear at King Yemma's Check-in Station and to be brought to this dimension.

Pretty Freeza: e.e;

Shenron: Your wish is granted. ::disappears::

Bardock appears.

Goku: Father! ::runs and hugs Bardock::

Pretty Freeza: O.O;;;; ::thinks:: Gonna die now... x.x

Bardock: Where am I? ::looks around:: Freeza!

Pretty Freeza: ^.^;; ::thinks:: *Sniff* The show! The show! The show MUST go on!

Goku: ::removes bars::

Pretty Freeza: Yatta!

Goku: Will you behave Freeza?

Pretty Freeza: ::Nods::

Goku: Okay.

Pretty Freeza: Rule #1: Behave o.o They've taught me a lot. ^_^

Goku: ::flies off with Bardock::

Pretty Freeza: Yay! I can do my singing show now!!!

The End!!! ^.^