Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters (but I'm working on it!). I also do not own the Simpsons (another quote from there) or The Mask (you'll see that part when you get to it) and there's a reference to a scene in the Lion King, which I also don't own. Um... I don't own Head and Shoulders shampoo... I think that's it.

On a different note, although Pretty Freeza is based on the normal Freeza (particularly the North American Version), Pretty Freeza was created by Kim.

Notes: I don't know what happened here... I must've been on a sugar high or something... (And would some one tell me if Korin is spelled correctly??)

If you read The DBZ Gang Meets Kim and Pam, then you know that before Kim and Pam ran off when Pam stole Vegeta's gloves, Goku was handed a letter ordering him to appear in court...

It is now the day of the trial. In the courtroom, Goku and Gohan sit at one table, and Kim sits at the other. Gohan is his father's lawyer, Kim is the prosecutor, Piccolo is the bailiff, and Korin is the stenographer.

Korin: ::is sitting in his chair, looking at the typewriter:: How am I supposed to type with these paws??

Many have attended the trial, such as Trunks, Goten, Bura, Vegeta, Bulma, and whoever else happens to be mentioned.

Goten: (to Bura) So, what are you doing after the trial?

Vegeta: She's not going anywhere with you, brat!

Bura: Papa! You promised you wouldn't interfere with my dating Goten!

Vegeta: (in a whiny voice) But he's, like, a decade older than you!

Bura: I don't care! If you won't let me go out with him, I won't love you anymore!!!

Vegeta: >.< Damn...

Piccolo: All rise for the honorable Judge Pam.

Everyone stands up as Pam enters the room. She is wearing a black robe and one of those funny-looking white wigs on her head.

Pam: ::sits:: Order in the court! ::pounds her gavel:: I now bring this trial to order.

Gohan: O.O YOU'RE the judge??

Pam: As a matter of fact I am! You got a problem with that, Nerd Boy?

Gohan: You can't be the judge! You're prejudiced against the defendant! This isn't fair!

Pam: I'm the judge, and if I think it's fair, it is!

Gohan: I won't stand for this! ::runs from the room::

Trunks: Where'd he go?

All of the sudden the doors burst open, and the Great Saiyaman rushes into the room.

Great Saiyaman: I'm going to stop you!

Pam: >.< Gohan! Get out of that ridiculous costume and sit your ass down so we can start the court case!

Goten: (in awe) GOHAN IS THE GREAT SAIYAMAN? Oh, wow! My brother? This is amazing!

Everyone else in the room sweatdrops.

Gohan: I'm going to stop you anyway!

Pam: >=) I wouldn't try it! I'm a fanfic writer, you know. I can get revenge on you in ways you can't even imagine.

Gohan: Well, I think you're all talk!

Pam: Really? Here's a demonstration! ::whips out a piece of paper and begins to write:: Too bad for you, though, cause I just watched The Mask a coupla days ago...

The room is engulfed in a bright flash (accompanied by Pam's demonic laughter), and Gohan now wears a salsa-dancing outfit, complete with bright colors and frills. He jumps on to the table he and his father sit at, and out of nowhere, salsa music is heard...

Gohan: ::shakes maracas and starts dancing:: My name is Cuban Pete, I'm the king of the rumba beat, when I shake my maracas I go chic, chicky boom, chic, chicky boom!

Chi-Chi: O.O; (to Pam) Stop that! He'll behave! Just stop it!

Pam: ^_^ But he's doing so well! Maybe this could be a new career for him!

Videl: ::appears in her Great Saiyaman 2 outfit:: Stop this now!

Pam: Don't you wanna join in?

The judge writes more, and Videl is suddenly also in a salsa-dancing outfit. She jumps up onto the table with Gohan and dances with him.

Videl: ::singing:: He's a really modest guy, although he's the hottest guy, in Havana! In Havana!

Vegeta: e.e; Of all the planets I wind up living on, it's the one with all these psycho freaks...

Bulma: Vegeta, stop this!

Vegeta: What do you want me to do?

Bulma: Pam's the one with the crush on you! She'll probably stop if you ask her!

Vegeta: Why should I do that? It's kind of entertaining watching Kakarot's brat make a fool of himself...

Bulma: Fine. You've forced me to do this, but... Bura? I need your help here.

Vegeta: o.o

Bura: ::sniffs:: Papa? Can you please help out Goten-chan's poor oniichan?

Vegeta: -_- No! I won't do it!

Bura: ::single tear:: But, Papa, don't you love me anymore?

Vegeta: >.< Shimatta!

Bura: So you'll help Gohan?

Vegeta: ::sighs:: Hai...

Bura: ^_^ Arigatou, Papa! ::hugs him::

Vegeta: ::miserable expression::

At this point, Gohan and Videl have finished doing the tango, and are beginning the samba.

Vegeta: ::approaches Pam:: Er... your Honor?

Pam: ^_^ Oh, konichi wa, Veggie-chan!

Vegeta: Yeah, konichi wa to you too. Listen... um... could you just stop all this nonsense?

Pam: Why? O.o

Vegeta: Um... ::meekly:: 'Cause I asked you nicely?

Pam: Okay, I'll stop.

Vegeta: Alright.

Pam: IF...

Vegeta: If?

Pam: ^_^ If you tell Bulma you love her and give her a BIIIIIIIIIIIG kiss!

Vegeta: ::falls over::

Pam: You have to go over there, take her in your arms, say, "Bulma-chan, I love you!" and then give her a long passionate kiss!

Vegeta: ::gets up:: O.O In front of everyone??

Pam: ::nods:: ^_^

Vegeta: >.<

Pam: ^_^ Will you do it?

Vegeta: -_- Fine...

With that, Vegeta walks right over to Bulma and pulls her out of her seat, holding her in his arms. No one else heard what Vegeta and the judge said, so no one else knew what was going on.

Bulma: O.o What are you doing, Vegeta?

Vegeta: Bulma, I-

Pam: AHEM!

Vegeta: ::sighs:: Bulma-chan, I love you. ::kisses her::

The kiss lasted for about ten seconds (which is actually pretty long for a kiss ^_^) and then Vegeta set Bulma down back in her seat and sat down next to her. And Bulma was pretty stunned, to say the least...

Bulma: ::frozen:: O.O

Vegeta: ::folds his arms:: -_-

Bulma: ^_^

Pam: Arigatou, Vegeta! ::writes more::

Videl and Gohan turn to normal, and the music disappears... but there's one thing different...

Vegeta: HEY! What happened to my shirt??

Pam: ^_^ I thought it was unnecessary. I wouldn't suggest trying to do anything about it, unless you want to do the rumba with Bulma.

Vegeta: -_-; ::folds his arms::

Gohan: ::embarrassed:: Um, can we start now?

Pam: Okay! Case number... number...

Kim: Erm... 5?

Pam: Case number 5: The State Versus Son Goku is now beginning. I find the defendant: GUILTY! ::pounds her gavel:: Your sentence is-

Gohan: Wait a sec! You have to give us a chance to defend my otousan!

Pam: I do?

Gohan: Yes!

Pam: Oh, fine. Kami, Gohan, all you do is whine!

Gohan: Well that's how a court case-

Pam: Just make your damned opening remarks!

Gohan: ::stands up:: Ladies and gentlemen of the... um... where's the jury?

Pam: Jury?

Gohan: u.u (irritated) Hai! We need a jury!

Pam: Well, well. It's somebody's time of the month. Fine. Veggie-chan, Bulma, Bura, Trunks, Goten, and Krillin are the jury.

The six people named go and sit in the previously vacant jury box.

Vegeta: ::smirks at Goku:: You're going down, Kakarot!

Gohan: ::points to Vegeta:: That juror is prejudiced against the defendant and he has influence on the judge!

Pam: ::drooling at a shirtless Vegeta:: Huh?

Gohan: I said-

Pam: I heard you! Gohan, as the judge, I order you to stop your bitching or else!

Gohan: Or else what?

Pam: ::writes more::

Gohan: ::suddenly wearing a hula skirt and a coconut bra:: O.O

Pam: Have I made my point?

Gohan: Hai, Ma'am.

Pam: Good. ::writes::

Gohan: ::back in his suit::

Pam: Now make your goddamn opening remarks!

Gohan: Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I intend to prove that my otousan is a good, kind man, and is totally innocent of whatever crimes these young ladies are trying to convict him of. Son Goku has never hurt anyone in his life without being forced to by the goodness of his heart. He is a loving, pure-hearted man-

Pam: Okay, I've had enough of this dribble. Sit down, counselor!

Gohan: But-

Pam: Hmmm... I have a sudden vision of Gohan playing the ukulele...

Gohan: ::sits::

Pam: Kim?

Kim: ::stands up:: I intend to prove that this man ::points to Goku:: is a good-for-nothing, son-of-a-bitch jerk! Arigatou.

Pam: ^_^ Okies! Please call your first witness!

Kim: I call... (insert dramatic music here) SON GOKU to the stand!

Goku: ::sits in the witness chair::

Piccolo: ::holds out a bible:: Place your right hand on this book and repeat after me.

Goku: ::puts his right hand on the book:: Place your right hand on this book and repeat after me.

Piccolo: ::glares:: Not yet!

Goku: ::glares:: Not yet!

Piccolo: Stop it!

Goku: Stop it!

Piccolo: >.< I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Dende.

Goku: >.< I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Dende.

Piccolo: -_- ::stands by the judge's podium::

Goku: -_- ::gets up to stand next to Piccolo::

Pam: Don't even dare!

Goku: o.o What?

Pam: e.e Kim, begin your questions.

Kim: Son Goku, is it true that you've been having a love affair with Trunks Briefs?

Trunks: O.O Nani??

Vegeta: NANI?! ::leaps from his seat and lunges and Goku:: I'm going to KILL YOU DAMMIT!!!

Pam: Oh, Veggie-chan is sooooo brave!

Vegeta proceeds to attack Goku.

Gohan: (to the judge) Stop him!!!

Pam: Hmmm.... I'm going to allow this... ::watches her Veggie kick some ass::

Gohan: But... ::thinks fast:: ... But you can't prosecute him if he dies!

Pam: ::glares at Gohan and sighs:: Vegeta, stop it now!!!

Vegeta: I don't have to listen to you!

Pam: IF YOU DON'T STOP I'LL MAKE YOU DRESS IN DRAG AND DO THE HULA!

Vegeta: o.o ::stops:: Eep. :: walks back to his seat::

Goku: @.@ Look at all the stars...

Gohan: Whew

Pam: Bailiff?

Piccolo: ::looks up::

Pam: ::points at Gohan:: I'm placing him in contempt for outsmarting me. Put him in the cell.

Gohan: O.O What?!

Piccolo grabs Gohan and puts him in a cell. It just so happens that the cell is in the courtroom next to the judge's podium. It also happens that the cage is designed so that all use of ki is restricted.

Goku: Who's gonna be my lawyer?

Suddenly, the courtroom doors swing open and in walks Freeza-- wearing a sunflower tiara and a sunflower necklace.

Goku: FREEZA?

Pretty Freeza: The name is Pretty Freeza now! I've been rehabilitated! ^_^

Pam: Why are you here?

Pretty Freeza: I'll do it! I'll be the monkey's attorney!

Goku: Oh, f%#@...

Pretty Freeza: (to Goku) Does my make-up look okay?

Pam: Okies! You can do it. Just sit over there behind that empty table.

Pretty Freeza: Arigatou! ^_^ ::sees Vegeta:: Hi, Veggie-chan!

Vegeta: o.o

Pretty Freeza: You should go shirtless more often, big boy!

Vegeta: -_- I think I'm going to puke...

Kim: Answer the question, Son Goku! And I remind you that you're under oath.

Goku: Of course not! I never... did anything with Trunks!

Vegeta: ::gives Trunks a side glance:: Better not have!

Kim: I'm not talking about that Trunks! I'm talking about Mirai Trunks!

Goku: Oh, him! Well, that's a whole different story!

Vegeta: O.O Nani??

Kim: So you admit it!

Goku: No! That's not what I meant! I only meant it was a different story because it was a different person!

Kim: Sure! Let's believe everything the jerk says!

Goku: I'm not a jerk!

Kim: Then why did you admit to having an affair with Mirai Trunks?

Goku: I didn't!

Kim: I beg to differ! Your Honor?

Pam: Korin, read back the defendant's statement responding to the counselor's first question.

Alas, due to Korin's paws he had extreme difficulty typing everything, and everything he has recorded isn't exactly correct...

Korin: o.o; Um... ::looks over what he clumsily typed::

Pam: Well?

Korin: ::reads:: "Hai, I did have an affair with Vegeta's son from the future."

Goku: I DIDN'T SAY THAT!!!

Pam: Well, that's what the stenographer typed, so you must've said it.

Pretty Freeza: I object!

Pam: To what?

Pretty Freeza: I didn't get a chance to finish my nails before I got here.

Pam: u.u; Do you object to anything relating to the case?

Pretty Freeza: The case? o.o Um... no.

Pam: Good Dende...

Gohan: I object! This attorney knows nothing about being a lawyer!

Pam: ::pushes a button on her podium::

Gohan: ::electrocuted:: @.@ What the heck??

Pam: Quiet you! I've had that cage wired to electrocute you at the push of this button! Kim?

Kim: I have no further questions, your honor.

Pam: Okay. What about you, Freeza?

Pretty Freeza: ::approaches Goku:: -_- Son Goku...

Goku: Yes?

Pretty Freeza: ^_^ Isn't Zarbon kawaii?

Goku: Huh?

Pretty Freeza: Just answer the question.

Goku: No.

Pretty Freeza: o.o No? -_- Huh, well I think so. No further questions, your Honor.

Pam: Goku, you may step down.

Goku: ::sits next to Pretty Freeza:: Do you know anything about court cases?

Pretty Freeza: ::doing... er... its nails:: Nope.

Goku: O.o Then why are you here?

Pretty Freeza: I was bored. Say, what do you think of this shade of nail polish?

Goku: ::falls over::

Pam: Call your next witness, Kim.

Kim: I call Son Chi-Chi to the stand.

Chi-Chi: Me?

Gohan: Aren't witnesses supposed to know that they're witnesses?

Pam: Don't make me electrocute you again! Ms. Son, please sit.

Chi-Chi: ::sits in the witness chair::

Kim: Isn't it true, Ms. Son, that you're husband has been ABUSING YOU since the day you were married?

Chi-Chi: Nani??

Kim: Just confirm that your husband is a wife-beater, Ms. Son.

Chi-Chi: He is not!!!

Kim: O.o Oh, really? Ladies and Gentlemen of the court, may I introduce into the evidence: Exhibit A.

Kim holds up a videocassette labeled "Exhibit A" and slips it into the VCR of a television that just happens to be in the room.

(The following is what is revealed on the tape.)

Goku: Oh, relax, Chi-Chi! ::pats her on the back::

Chi-Chi: ::goes flying through the wall and halfway through a tree::

(Kim stops the tape.)

Kim: True, that was a dubbed tape by FUNimation, which is also being sued for it's overall jerkiness, but that doesn't change what is visually seen on the tape. What do you have to say now, Ms. Son?

Chi-Chi: That was an accident!

Kim: Was it? It's okay, Ms. Son. Your husband can't hurt you anymore.

Chi-Chi: He's never hurt me!

Kim: Then what do you call that on the tape?

Chi-Chi: Okay, he's never hurt me on purpose.

Kim: ::sighs:: Let the record show that Ms. Son refused to accept her denial of her husband's abuse.

Chi-Chi: Nani??

Kim: I have no further questions your Honor.

Pam: Would you like to cross-examine, Counselor Freeza?

Pretty Freeza: Hmm... Nah.

Goku: What?? You have to ask her questions so everyone knows I don't beat her!

Pretty Freeza: Fine. e.e ::stands up:: Ms. Son...

Chi-Chi: Yes?

Pretty Freeza: Do you think I should lose a little weight? I've been feeling bloated lately...

Chi-Chi: Well, no, but-

Pretty Freeza: ^_^ Arigatou! No further questions.

Goku: ::falls over::

Pam: Step down, Ms. Son.

Chi-Chi: But-

Pam: ::holds up pen and paper threateningly:: I said STEP DOWN.

Chi-Chi: ::steps down and goes back to her seat::

Pam: Next witness?

Kim: I call Bulma Briefs to the stand.

Gohan: She's a juror! You can't call members of the jury-

Pam: ::pushes the button::

Gohan: ::hair frizzes out:: @.@

Pam: Please sit in the witness stand, Mrs. Briefs.

Bulma: ::sits::

Kim: Mrs. Briefs-

Pam: Wait! I have a question! ^_^

Bulma: ::looks up at Pam:: What?

Pam: What's Veggie like in bed?

Kim: e.e; Oh, boy...

Vegeta: o.o

Trunks and Bura: >.< ::start screaming:: Mental picture! Mental picture! EEEEEWWWWW!!!

Bulma: ::blushes:: I... er...

Pam: Oh, come on! We're all adults here.

Bulma: u.u I don't think that this question has anything that relates to the case.

Pam: Well, excuuuuuse me for being obsessive. -_- You may ask your questions, Counselor Kim.

Kim: Mrs. Briefs, how long have you and Son Goku been friends?

Bulma: Ever since I was teenager and I almost ran him over.

Kim: ::aside:: You should've run him over...

Bulma: What?

Kim: Ahem. And do you trust him?

Bulma: Of course.

Kim: Even with your life?

Bulma: Of course.

Kim: Even more than your husband?

Bulma: Of course.

Vegeta: -_-

Kim: Would it shock you to know that your so-called friend has defiled your trust numerous times?

Bulma: O.o What do you mean?

Kim: May I present, Exhibit B.

Kim holds up yet another tape, this one labeled "Exhibit B." She slips it into the VCR.

(The following is what is presented on the tape.)

Gohan sits before one of the Kai gods. [No, I don't know his name! Excuuuuse me!]

Kai God: So, is this Bulma chick cute?

Gohan: Huh? Why?

Kai God: Cause your father promised me that if I made you powerful enough, he would let me touch Bulma's tits and ass.

(Kim stops the tape)

Bulma: ::eye twitches::

Kim: So what do you think of your precious Son-kun now?

Bulma: ::screams:: I'm going to kill him!

Bulma leaps from the witness stand and lunges at Goku, clawing at his face. Pretty Freeza just sits there calmly reading an issue of Seventeen as if nothing is going on, even as Vegeta joins in less than a second later.

Gohan: Pam! Remember what I said before! ::gets shocked:: But ::shocked:: you ::shocked:: know ::shocked:: I'm ::shocked:: right! :: shocked for a full minute::

Pam: ::sighs:: Bulma, Vegeta, you guys gotta stop now.

Vegeta: Who says?

Pam: I'm warning you!

Vegeta and Bulma: ::ignore her::

Pam: You know Veggie, I'm totally obsessed with you and your relationship with Bulma, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do! Eighteen!!!

Android 18 gets up from her seat and walks over to Vegeta and Bulma who are still attacking Goku. Eighteen picks up Bulma and tosses her back onto the witness stand. Then she grabs Vegeta.

Vegeta: Put me down, you bucket of bolts!

18: ::glares::

Vegeta: o.o Oops. I didn't mean it! Gomen! Gomen!

18: ::breaks Vegeta's arm::

Vegeta: ::screams in pain:: >.< Yeow!!!

Pam: -_- Eighteen... tsk, tsk. I asked you not to do that... ^_^ Oh, well. Get that cute butt back in your seat Veggie-chan.

Vegeta: ::returns to the jury box, clutching his arm:: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow...

Goku: @.@ Pretty birdies...

Kim: No further questions for Mrs. Briefs, your Honor.

Pam: Would you like to cross-examine, Freeza?

Pretty Freeza: Huh? ::looks up from the magazine:: Oh! ^_^ Sure! ::approaches the witness stand, magazine still in hand:: Mrs. Briefs...

Bulma: Yes?

Pretty Freeza: ::studies Bulma for a moment:: So you married Veggie-chan, huh?

Bulma: Well, yes.

Pretty Freeza: Fancy that... You know, I had this HUUUUUUUGE crush on him when he was about sixteen, but I never asked him out or anything cause I was too busy taking over planets and destroying civilizations and stuff.

Vegeta: o.o ::shudders:: >.< ugh...

Bulma: Really?

Pretty Freeza: Oh, yeah! He was so kawaii back then too! A real hottie! I think I have some pictures of him in my purse...

Vegeta: O.O I OBJECT!

Pam: ::obviously interested in this conversation:: Huh? Why?

Vegeta: This has absolutely nothing to do with the case!

Pam: ::stares at him::

Vegeta: ::stares back::

Pam: So... what's your point?

Vegeta: >.< Augh!

Pam: Counselor?

Pretty Freeza: Thanks. ::rummaging through a purple purse:: Aha! ::pulls out some photographs:: Here they are! ^_^ ::hands them to Bulma::

Pam: Hey!

Pretty Freeza: ::hands more to Pam::

Pam: Arigatou! ^_^

Bulma: ::looks at the photos:: Hey! There are some baby photos here too!

Pam: Lemme see!

Vegeta: NOOOOOO!!! ::zaps the pictures to dust::

Pam: -_- Veggie! That was completely uncalled for!

Vegeta: Hmmph! I don't care!

Pretty Freeza: That's okay. I got more in my ship. I give them to you two after the trial.

Vegeta: >.<

Pam: ^_^ Arigatou!

Pretty Freeza: Your welcome!

Pam: Do you have any more questions for the witness?

Pretty Freeza: Hmm... Oh, yes! Mrs. Briefs...

Bulma: Yes?

Pretty Freeza: ::shows her a page in Seventeen:: Do you think I would look good in this dress?

Bulma: Red's not really your color, but if you got it in purple I think it would look all right.

Pretty Freeza: Arigatou! ^_^

Bulma: Welcome! ^_^

Pretty Freeza: No further questions.

Pam: You may return to your seat, Mrs. Briefs.

Bulma: ::sits next to Vegeta:: You were so kawaii when you were a baby, Sweetie!

Vegeta: >.<

Pam: Any more witnesses?

Kim: I would like to call Son Goten to the stand.

Gohan: But he's a juror too! ::sees Pam's finger poised on the electric shock button:: Eep! Never mind.

Goten: ::sits in the witness chair::

Kim: Goten-kun, how is your relationship with your otousan?

Goten: Okay, I guess.

Kim: Really, Goten-kun, you can be honest here. You have to be honest anyway, since you're under oath.

Gohan: But he never took the oath! In fact, Otousan is the only witness who has taken the- ::shocked:: @.@

Pam: Continue, Kim.

Kim: Goten, tell the jury where your 'tousan was when you were born.

Goten: He was... dead.

Kim: So your father wasn't even there when you were born! What kind of father is that?

Goten: But he died to save the planet!

Kim: And what did he do during those years that he was dead?

Goten: Um... I can't really say that I know...

Kim: He was training! He didn't mope around about how he had kicked the bucket and he couldn't see his family! He trained! Very happily and carefree, may I add.

Goten: Well, he didn't have anything else to do. And he did come back.

Kim: Oh, yes. Goku came back all right. SO HE COULD FIGHT IN THE TENKAICHI BOUDAKAI! He didn't even bother to ask if he could be on Earth for one day to see the birth of his second son!

Goten: o.o That's true, isn't it? ::about to cry::

Kim: Believe me, Goten-kun. It hurts me just as much as it hurts you, but I have to open your eyes to the truth. ::sniffs:: Your father was too busy training and fighting from the first day he bought the farm to care about his family! ::cries:: Gomen! I just feel so much pain for you, Goten-kun!

Goku: O.O That's not true!!!

Pretty Freeza: I never knew you were so mean, Goku.

Goten: ::cries:: I see it all now! MY FATHER IS AN INSENSITIVE JERK! ::hiccups::

Kim: ::hugs Goten:: It's okay... Let it all out... No ::sniffs:: further questions, your Honor.

Pam: ::wipes a tear from her eye:: Would you like to cross-examine the ::sniffs:: witness, Freeza?

Pretty Freeza: No. ::sniffs:: You can go back to your seat now Goten-kun.

Goten is crying so hard that he can't get out of the chair. Bura comes and helps him back to the jury box. She sits next to him and holds him as he cries more.

Gohan: What about Vegeta??

Pam: O.o What do you mean?

Gohan: Vegeta hasn't always been the perfect father either you know!

Pam: Veggie-chan is not on trial here, Four-Eyes!

Gohan: But you're getting all mad at Otousan because you say that he never cared about his family! Vegeta would've let Bulma and Trunks die in the Cell battle!

Bulma: ::glances at Vegeta::

Vegeta: ::whistles absently and looks away::

Pam: The point is, Gohan, that your otousan never cared about your family, while Vegeta has cared about his for at least a portion of his life! ::shocks him for a full five minutes::

Gohan: @.@

Pam: Next witness, please.

Kim: I would like to call...

Pam:...

Kim:...

Pam: Well?

Kim: Just pausing for dramatic effect, your Honor.

Pam: Okay. ^_^ Proceed.

Kim:...

Gohan: Well? Who is it already? ::electrocuted:: @.@ You think I would've learned by now...

Kim: Mirai Trunks!!!

Everyone: ::gasps in awe and surprise::

Kim: Exactly.

The doors to the courtroom open slowly, revealing a tall silhouette. The dark figure slowly walks into the room accompanied by a mysterious-like mist.

Krillin: Nice entrance.

Vegeta: -_- I've done better.

Krillin: e.e

Mirai Trunks: ::walks to the front of the courtroom and sits in the witness chair::

Kim: Nice to see you Mirai Trunks.

Mirai Trunks: Nice to be here.

Kim: How've ya been?

Mirai Trunks: Okay.

Kim: And your mother?

Mirai Trunks: She's fine too.

Kim: And the planet in your alternate timeline?

Mirai Trunks: Recovering quite nicely.

Kim: And your affair with Goku?

Mirai Trunks: Well- O.O Nani??

Trunks: Better him than me.

Kim: You heard me.

Mirai Trunks: What are you talking about? I never... did anything with Goku!

Kim: It's okay Trunks. I don't know about the other people in this room, but Pam and I are quite open- minded about alternative lifestyles.

Mirai Trunks: I am not gay!

Kim: Then what's with the purple hair?

Mirai Trunks: It's genetic!

Kim: Sure it is... Then what about that manly sword? It seems to me like you're trying too hard to prove you're not gay.

Mirai Trunks: It's a weapon! That's all!

Kim: I didn't want to have to do this, but it seems I'll have to prove that Goku has been cheating on his wife with you. Ladies and gentlemen, Exhibit C.

Kim holds up yet another tape labeled "Exhibit C." She pops it into the VCR.

Kim: This cassette holds recordings of thing Mr. Mirai has said that are suspiciously... well, to put it bluntly, gay-sounding.

(The following is what is revealed on the tape)

Scene: Everyone is waiting for Goku to come back from where ever he went after Namek went kaboom...

Vegeta [who is wearing a pink shirt]: (to Trunks) What are you looking at?

Mirai Trunks: Nothing. It's just that I... like your shirt.

Vegeta: You would.

Another scene: Trunks turns to Goku.

Mirai Trunks: Goku, could I talk to you alone? Just the two of us?

Another scene: Trunks and Goku are finally... alone...

Mirai Trunks: Could you turn Super Saiyajin for me, please?

Goku: ::does so:: There. Are you satisfied?

Mirai Trunks: Yes, I am!

Yet another scene: Trunks stands before Goku after Goku has turned Super Saiyajin.

Mirai Trunks: You're good. No. You're great!

(Kim stops the tape.)

Kim: ::looks at Mirai Trunks expectantly::

Mirai Trunks: That's only yaoi-sounding if you read into it too much!!!

Kim: ::sighs:: Let the record show that Mr. Mirai refuses to accept his denial of his love affair with Son Goku.

Mirai Trunks: But-

Kim: No further questions, your Honor.

Pam: Would you like to cross-examine, Freeza?

Pretty Freeza: ::examining newly manicured nails:: Huh? Sure. Why not? ::walks up to the witness stand:: Mr. Mirai...

Mirai Trunks: Yes?

Pretty Freeza: O.o ::stares at him for a moment:: Say... don't I know you from somewhere?

Mirai Trunks: o.o; Um... maybe?

Pretty Freeza: You look real familiar... ::studies the boy's face::

Mirai Trunks: ::trying to act nonchalant::

Pretty Freeza: O.O Wait a minute! ::looks at the boy in horror:: It's those eyes! They have the same eyes! ::shrieks in terror::

Mirai Trunks: o.o;

Pretty Freeza: Oh, good Kami! You look just like that Leonardo DiCaprio boy!

At this point, everyone in the courtroom face-faulted.

Mirai Trunk: ::gets up:: Yeah, I've heard that.

Pretty Freeza: You know, I used to have a crush on him, but... ::stops again and studies his face more:: O.o Say! You're that boy who sliced me to pieces, aren't you?

Mirai Trunks: Well, I... um...

Pretty Freeza: ^_^ Sure you are! I'd recognize that purple hair and that big ass sword anywhere! How've you been?

Mirai Trunks: o.o; I've been alright...

Pretty Freeza: You know, even though you killed me, while I was in HFIL I kinda developed a crush on you for a while, but-

Pam: Um... do you have any actual questions to ask the witness?

Pretty Freeza: Well, not really, but if you give me, like, a week I could come up with some real doosies.

Pam: Do you have any that you would like to ask now?

Pretty Freeza: ::thinks:: Oh, yes! ^_^ ::turns to Mirai Trunks:: Do you think that Zarbon is kawaii?

Mirai Trunks: I'd have to say no.

Pretty Freeza: Well, I guess I see something in him that you all don't.

Pam: Is that all?

Pretty Freeza: One last question, your Honor. ::turns to Mirai Trunks:: Mr. Mirai...

Mirai Trunks: Yes?

Pretty Freeza: ^_^ What kind of shampoo do you use, cause your hair looks really nice!

Mirai Trunks: o.o; Um, I use Head and Shoulders.

Pretty Freeza: You know, I was gonna get hair implants, but the cosmetologist said that if they put a hole in this purple thing on my head that my head might explode.

Mirai Trunks: ...

Pretty Freeza: ...

Mirai Trunks: Is that so?

Pretty Freeza: Yup, so I decided that maybe I should just get a wig, but-

Pam: Is that all the questions you have?

Pretty Freeza: I guess so. ::sits down::

Pam: You may step down, Mr. Mirai. You wouldn't happen to have any Tylenol with you, would you?

Mirai Trunks: Nope. Gomen. ::takes a seat in the courtroom::

Pam: ::sighs:: Are there any more witnesses?

Kim: Yes, your Honor. I'd like to call...

Gohan: Please! Not another dramatic pause! ::shocked:: @.@

Kim: ...Freeza to the stand!

Pretty Freeza: o.o Me? ::points to self::

Gohan: BUT FREEZA IS A LAWYER! ::shocked:: x.x

Pam: Whoops! Turned up the voltage too high... Freeza, please take the stand.

Pretty Freeza: Take it where?

Pam: u.u; Just sit down.

Pretty Freeza: I AM sitting down!

Pam: ::points to the witness chair:: SIT THERE.

Pretty Freeza: Why didn't you just say so?

Pam: >.<;

Pretty Freeza: ::sits on the witness stand::

Kim: How are you, Mr. Freeza?

Pretty Freeza: Pretty good! ^_^ I think Zarbon is going to pop the question any day now!

Kim: o.o; Er... Well, that's nice.

Pretty Freeza: Arigatou!

Kim: Anyway, do you remember when you fought the defendant on the now defunct planet Namek?

Pretty Freeza: ::begins fidgeting:: Well, yeah... ::looks uncomfortable::

Kim: Is something wrong?

Pretty Freeza: Well, it's not exactly a fond memory. I was almost killed, you know.

Vegeta: -_- Look who's talking...

Pretty Freeza: ^_^; Oh, yeah... Sorry about that, Veggie-chan, but you really pissed me off.

Vegeta: You destroyed my home planet!!!

Pretty Freeza: u.u Oh, Jeez! Can't ANYONE let that go?

Vegeta: >.< Those were my people, dammit! I could've been king! KING, I TELL YOU!

Pretty Freeza: But then you wouldn't have met Bulmies! ::waves to Bulma:: ^_^ Hi, Bulmies!

Bulma: ::waves back:: ^_^

Vegeta: I... I... >.<;

Kim: Anyways, you had quite a battle with Son Goku on Namek, correct?

Pretty Freeza: Longest five minutes of my life.

Kim: And why was he attacking you?

Pretty Freeza: Something about stopping my evil ways and avenging a bunch of dead people.

Kim: I see. Why did you do all those things anyway?

Pretty Freeza: The influence of my dad, mostly. He was all like, "Freeza, you gotta kill all these people and take over a bunch of planets so you can have an big ass empire like me."

Kim: Really?

Pretty Freeza: Oh, yeah. Tyranny is a tradition in my family.

Kim: So Son Goku smacked you around because of your beliefs?

Pretty Freeza: I guess so.

Kim: So Son Goku can be considered a racist for beating you because he didn't agree with your chosen beliefs and family traditions.

Pretty Freeza: You could definitely put it that way.

Goku: O.O WHAT?! I am not a racist!

Kim: ::walks over to Goku:: Are you calling the witness a liar?

Goku: Um... yeah.

Pretty Freeza: Pretty Freeza doesn't lie!!!

Kim: ::turns back to Pretty Freeza:: Freeza, now that we've come to the conclusion that Son Goku is a bigot, how does that make you feel?

Pretty Freeza: It makes me feel... ::frowns:: sad... and violated... ::cries::

Kim: ::turns to Goku:: You made Freeza cry! ::smacks him across the face::

Goku: @.@

Pretty Freeza: Uwaaaah!!!

Kim: I have no further questions.

Pam: Would you like to cross-exam... never mind. You may step down.

Pretty Freeza: ::stops crying and sits next to Goku:: ::looks at him:: ::cries::

Pam: Are there any more witnesses?

Kim: I feel no need for any.

Pretty Freeza: ::blows nose (rather noisily) into a handkerchief::

Pam: Okay. The jury may now converse in the back room to come up with a verdict.

Vegeta, Bulma, Bra, Goten, Trunks, and Krillin stand up to go into the back room. Before Goten goes in, he runs over to Pretty Freeza and gives him a hug.

Goten: I feel your pain, man.

Pretty Freeza: Arigatou. ^_^

Both: ::glare at Goku::

Goku: I am so screwed...

Goten disappears into the jury room, the door closing behind him.

Kim: (to Pam) So what do you think?

Pam: Well, Vegeta hates Goku anyway, Bulma should be really pissed at him, Goten definitely isn't on good terms with him now, Bura would wanna help Goten get back at his dad, Krillin would be too scared to go against everyone else, and Trunks will probably agree with everyone or else his dad will give him a beatdown.

Gohan: ::wakes up:: @.@ I'm gonna ache all over tomorrow...

Pretty Freeza: ::repeatedly smacks Goku upside the head with a purse:: You creep!!!

Goku: I'm NOT a racist!!! Yeow!

The door to the back room opens, and the six jurors reenter.

Goku: They're back already??

Pam: Have you reached a verdict?

Bulma: Yes, we have, your honor.

Pam: What say you?

Bulma: We, the jury, in the case of The State Versus Son Goku, find the defendant...

(Insert dramatic pause accompanied by suspenseful music here)

Bulma: NOT guilty.

Pam and Kim: WHAT?!

Goku: -_- Whew...

Gohan: It's a miracle!

Kim: NOT GUILTY?

Bulma: Well, I realized that Goku had to make that deal to help save the world.

Goten: And I realized that 'Tousan couldn't just mope around in heaven for seven years, and he probably still wouldn't be allowed to come to Earth to see me born.

Krillin: And Goku is my best friend.

Bura and Trunks: And we don't really have a reason to hate him.

Kim: And what about Vegeta??

Vegeta: ::glances at Bura::

Bura:: ^_^

Vegeta: ::sighs:: Even though I hate Kakarot's third-class guts... ::has extreme trouble continuing:: >.< he's not a jerk. THERE! I SAID IT! ARE YOU HAPPY??

Pam: No.

Kim: ::pissed off:: All of that work gathering that evidence, for nothing!

Pam: ^_^ It's not for nothing.

Kim: What do you mean?

Pam: As judge, I have the power of veto!

Gohan: I knew 'Tousan could never get off that easy.

Vegeta: Never can with these fanfic people...

Pam: With my power as judge, I decree that Goku is GUILTY of all charges.

Goku: WHAT?

Kim: WOO HOO! ^_^

Pam: Son Goku, I sentence you to a LIFE sentence in HFIL.

Goku: HFIL?? O.O But I'll be eaten alive there!

Pretty Freeza: Not really...

Goku: No?

Pretty Freeza: They'll probably torture you first. We just got a new guillotine! ^_^

Goku: ::turns an interesting shade of green::

Pam: Tough luck.

Chi-Chi: You can't do this to my poor Goku!

Pam: Obviously I can.

Chi-Chi: But it's not fair!

Pam: What exactly do you want from me, Chi-Chi?

Chi-Chi: I want justice! I want the truth!

Pam: ::seems to get angry:: You want the truth? YOU WANT THE TRUTH? ::points at Chi-Chi:: You can't handle the truth! No truth-handler you! I defy your truth-handling abilities!

Everyone stares at Pam.

Pam: o.o; Oops... ^_^; Sorry. I just always wanted to say that. ::gets all serious:: Bailiff, remove this convict from my sight!

Piccolo: ::handcuffs Goku:: Let's go, buddy.

Goku: But I'm innocent!

Piccolo: That's what they all say.

Gohan: Don't worry, Dad! We'll get an appeal!

Pam: ::muttering:: Not bloody likely...

Piccolo: ::escorts Goku from the room::

Pam: ::stands up and descends from the judge's podium:: ^_^ Well, it's been nice seeing you guys again. ::takes off the white wig::

Kim: We should do this again sometime! ^_^

Chi-Chi: I think we'll be seeing you sooner than you think!

Kim: O.o Really?

Chi-Chi: I'm gonna see you on Springer! Then I'll whoop your ass on national television!

Pam: We'll just see who beats whose ass!

Kim: Haven't you people been on Springer enough?

Chi-Chi: One more time couldn't hurt.

Trunks: e.e "All the cool kids are doing it."

Kim: Fine. We'll see you then. Let's go Pam.

Pam: One second. ::writes:: ::Vegeta's shirt appears in her hand::

Vegeta: You gonna give that back?

Pam: ^_^ Nope! ::takes shirt and runs off:: Come on, Kim!

Kim: ::runs after her::

Vegeta: ::runs after Pam:: Give that back you brat!

On the way out, Kim passes Pan in the back of the room. Pan is in a wheelchair and is wrapped in several bandages caused by Kim the last time they met. Kim decides to resolve their conflict...

Kim: ^_^

Pan: O.o

Kim: >=D ::pushes the wheelchair over::

Pan: >.< Yeow!!!

Kim: ::turns around:: Buh-byes, everyone!

Goten and Bura: Bye! ^_^

Kim: ::runs out the door with Pam::

Gohan: WAIT! You have to get me out of this cage!

The End

Next time, Kim and Pam meet the gang on Jerry Springer...

______________________________________________________________________________

As stated before, if you found that something was impossible to happen, it happened due to my power as a fanfic writer. Besides, if you read this it should've been for the humor, not to scrutinize it and point out any errors. That hurts my feelings... ::single tear::

Once again, my and Kim's dislike for Goku and Pan is exaggerated. Everyone knows that Goku is not a racist. It was just for the fic.

Some time from now I'll write the Springer one, even though a bajillion other people have already written about that.