Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or it's characters, nor do I own South Pacific or the two songs used in this fic.

Author's Notes: Well, I'm really procrastinating on my next multi-chapter story, so here's a weird little songfic. I got this idea because we did the play South Pacific for our spring musical at my school. I was in the orchestra! ^.^ (By the way, if you saw the ABC version, and hated it, and you haven't seen the original, rent the earlier movie. It's MUCH better. The ABC version hardly stuck to the original script at all. ~_~)

This story takes place in a public bathhouse, since it's a suitable setting due to the first song. If you don't know what a bathhouse is, it's mainly a place where people go to bathe. O.o I've seen it in other anime and other fics, so why the hell can't I use it in DBZ? ^_^;

Warning: A little romance and sappyness... I think the whole thing is generally funny, mostly because of the lyrics and the setting. Also, this fic switches from paragraphs to script form because of the songs.

"Slow down!" Bra shrieked as her mother carelessly sped through traffic. The teenage girl's fingers were numb and her knuckles were white as she gripped the dashboard tightly.

Bulma hunched over the steering wheel, her steel gaze glaring at the traffic that wasn't going quick enough for her at the moment. She compensated by accelerating to whatever speed she felt was necessary and cutting off the many slowpokes on the road. Suddenly, she clutched the wheel and spun it to the right, and the car made a sharp turn that nearly threw Bra into her mother's lap. Bulma didn't seem to hear her daughter's panicked screeches and warnings through the raging thoughts in her fuming brain.

Baka no Ouji! How could he be so careless? I've told him time and time again to be careful when training on the compound, and what does he do? He destroys one of the buildings. THAT'S what he does! And not just any building, the building where all of Capsule Corporation's water is! So now I have to drive all the way across the city just to get a frickin' bath! He didn't even care! No apology, no nothing!

Across Western Capital from Capsule Corporations was the city bathhouse where people, obviously, bathed. Since all the showers, sinks, toilets, and such in the Briefs household were temporarily defunct because of Vegeta's little mishap, Bulma and Bra had decided to go there since they did not know when the showers in their home would be operational again.

Bulma swerved into the parking lot of a white building, screeching to a halt into a parking space not far from the entrance. As she got out of the car, she noticed that Bra was still in her seat, gripping the dashboard with shaking hands.

"What's wrong, Sweetie?" Bulma asked.

Bra only turned to her mother and blinked, realizing that the horror ride had stopped. "Um... n-n-nothing."

"Okay then." Bulma replied, approaching the building. "Let's go inside."

Some time later Bulma and Bra entered the bathing area of the bathhouse, each clad in a white, fluffy towel wrapped around their bodies and carrying an extra towel and the usual bathing accessories. Before they could sit down, a woman approached them, waving to Bulma.

"Bulma-san!" she greeted. "It's nice to see you!"

"Hello, Dynah," Bulma greeted. She turned to Bra. "Bra, this is Dynah, one of my employees."

"Is this your daughter?" Dynah continued at Bulma's nod. "Oh, dear, you are one of the prettiest things I've ever seen!" she complimented with a smile.

Bra smiled. "Thank you."

"What are you doing here, Bulma?" Dynah asked.

"The water isn't working at the C.C." Bulma explained. "Thanks to my husband," she added gruffly.

"Was he trying to fix it?" a middle-aged, blonde woman nearby spoke up. She flushed a bit when the three turned to look at her. "Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear. I was just thinking that my husband always breaks things when he tries to fix something that was never broken in the first place!"

"Oh, I know!" another woman, a brunette, put in. "My husband thinks he knows everything! Men!" she huffed. "I swear."

"Vegeta isn't the type to fix things..." Bulma said.

"Well, what'd he do then?" Dynah asked.

"I don't even want to talk about it!" Bulma answered, plopping down on a stool, removing her towel and washing herself.

Bra sat beside her on one side and Dynah on the other, both following suit and scrubbing at their skin. As they washed, the women in their area related stories of their husbands' foibles: faults in their personality, huge screw-ups they'd made, just about everything. As she listened, Bulma couldn't help but think how much of a pain in the ass guys could be. Despite the occasional sweetness or thoughtful act, men could be so ignorant, so insensitive, so pigheaded! Most of them weren't even worth the trouble they caused!

I wonder if Vegeta is worth it...

"So, Bulma, what's your husband's problem?" Dynah pressed, wrapping a fresh towel around her body. "After all, you did start this discussion."

"You know what?" Bulma began as she too put on a towel. "I'm not even going to start in, because I don't think it'll be a problem anymore!"

Bra, securing her own towel so it wouldn't fall off, looked at her mother curiously. "What do you mean, 'Kaasan?"

"I've been thinking... and it might be time to just... divorce him."

"WHAT?!"

"Divorce?" Dynah gasped. "Are you sure?"

"Just about," Bulma muttered. She caught a glimpse of the shocked Bra, who stared at her wide-eyed and open-mouthed. "Oh, don't be so dramatic about it!" she replied to her daughter's shocked expression. "Things like this happen everyday!"

(Music for: "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Out-a My Hair" begins.)

I'm gonna wash that man right out-a my hair!

I'm gonna wash that man right out-a my hair!

I'm gonna wash that man right out-a my hair!

And send him on his way!

::she stands gesturing to the other women with her arms::

I'm gonna wave that man right out-a my arms!

I'm gonna wave that man right out-a my arms!

I'm gonna wave that man right out-a my arms!

And send him on his way!

Don't try to patch it up!

::stand, in towels, gesturing as if tearing::

 Tear it up! Tear it up!

Bulma: 

Wash him out, dry him out!

::motion as if shoving:: 

Push him out, fly him out!

 Cancel him, and let him go!

::swing a fist in the air once::

Yeah, sister!

::all dance around in sync, as if washing their hair:: 

I'm gonna wash that man right out-a my hair!

I'm gonna wash that man right out-a my hair!

I'm gonna wash that man right out-a my hair!

And send him on his way!

::stands in front of the other women, as if on center stage::

If a man don't understand you,

If you fly on separate beams,

Waste no time!

Make a change!

Ride that man right off your range!

Rub him out-a the roll call

And drum him out-a your dreams!

All Women:

Oh, ho!

Oh, ho!

If you laugh at different comics,

If you root for different teams,

Waste no time,

Weep no more,

Show him what the door is for!

Rub him out-a the roll call

And drum him out-a your dreams!

::dramatically and pointedly::

You can't light a fire when the woods are wet!

::agreeably::

No! 

::as before::

You can't make a butterfly strong!

::shaking their heads::

Uh, uh!

::as before::

You can't fix an egg when it ain't quite good!

And you can't fix a man when he's wrong!

::dramatically::

You can't put back a petal, when it falls from a flower,

Or sweeten up a feller when he starts turning sour!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

<The music turns into a dance break, and all the women dance around together for minute or two while Bulma lathers shampoo into her hair. The music soon turns to the slower tempo as before.>

If his eyes get dull and fishy

When you look for glints and gleams,

Waste no time,

Make a switch!

Drop him in the nearest ditch!

Rub him out-a the roll call

And drum him out-a your dreams!

Oh, ho!

Oh, ho!

::a short pause passes as she dumps a bucket of water on her head, rinsing out the suds::

I went and washed that man right out-a my hair.

I went and washed that man right out-a my hair.

I went and washed that man right out-a my hair,

And sent him on his way.

::get softer and softer as they sing::

She went and washed that man right out-a her hair.

She went and washed that man right out-a her hair.

She went and washed that man right out-a her hair

::suddenly loud::

And sent him on his way!!!

(The music ends.)

Feeling much more refreshed and relaxed, Bulma bent over slightly as she towel-dried her hair, dancing around a bit and humming the song previously sung. She was so relaxed, that she didn't quite hear the gasps and murmurs of the other women as they spotted an intruder enter the bathhouse: an intruder of the opposite sex in fact. Bulma didn't even notice the sharp cries as women snatched up towels to cover themselves with. However, when a pair of gold-tipped boots stepped into her view, she immediately straightened, dropping the towel.

"Vegeta!" she screamed at the spikey-haired Saiyajin prince that stood in front of her. "What the hell are you doing in here??"

Vegeta didn't say anything, he only glanced at a dark-haired woman that stood nearly frozen beside him. She held her towel closed with one hand and held a box of hair-dye in the other.

The woman seemed awfully nervous under his gaze. "Uh... heh..." she began to speak, not even knowing why herself. She glanced at the hair dye. "Doesn't seem like I'm old enough to have to dye my hair does it?" she blurted out. "It doesn't last long though. You have to use it twice month." She grew more nervous by the second. "Dye it? Twice?" She finally realized she was blabbering and finally managed to run off to hide behind the other women, and she surprising did it without slipping.

"Hello?" Bulma waved a hand in front of her husband's face, and he looked back at her. "What are you doing here??" He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted. "Let's talk in the hall! You're not even supposed to be in here!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the entrance to the hallway that connected the men's section and the women's section of the bathhouse.

"He can say if he wants to, Bulma-san!" Dynah called after them, trying not to drool.

Bulma glanced back at the room full of women leering at her husband and rolled her eyes, dragging him out into the hallway.

The blonde woman turned to Bra, who had been sitting on her stool since before the song. "THAT'S your otousan?"

"Uh, yeah..." the blue-haired half-Saiyajin replied.

"Who cares if he's a jerk!" one woman cried. "He is one hot bishounen!"

The other women murmured in agreement, while Bra sweatdropped.

"I wonder what they're talking about?" Dynah said, creeping over to the door, opening it a crack and listening. She noticed Bra coming over to stand beside her, but not the dozens of other women joining them.

"What kind of song was that?" Vegeta asked, arms folded tightly across his chest as usual.

"Song?" Bulma responded.

"Yes, Onna, the song that you and the other baka women were squawking when I came here. I could hear it through the door."

"Oh, it's just a song. We were just... uh... putting in our own words."

"You should try harder. There are enough stupid songs on this planet about Chikyuujin women getting rid of their mates. If you ask me, some women should be lucky to have a mate at all."

"Some men are lucky to have a 'mate,' and nobody did ask you!" Bulma glared at him. "Why are you here?"

"The water is working now, but you've already washed so it doesn't really matter."

"Why the hell did you come into the bathing area then when I was obviously not out here?"

"I already told you about the singing, Onna! I thought you were dying."

"Argh!" Bulma smacked in him the arm, but only succeeded in hurting her hand.

Vegeta smirked at her. "Weak baka onna..."

"Oh, go to Hell, Vegeta!"

"Already been there. Twice, in fact..." Vegeta's expression changed as he thought of Hell, and he seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment. Then he came out of his reverie and focused his stare on Bulma, contemplating silently. "Onna..."

Bulma's eyes lifted from her red palm and caught his gaze. She was about to tell him off. She was about to tell him where to shove it, and that they were through.

"... I will be more careful not to destroy more of the house," he said.

Bulma froze, the angry voice that had been ready to burst from her caught in her throat. She stared back at him, into his dark coal eyes, information sinking into her brain. It was not too obvious, but Vegeta had just apologized to her. In fact, it occurred to her, it could be the only reason he was here. This was indeed a significant act, especially from Vegeta. Most women would thing that their husbands were complete idiots to come all the way across town to apologize, but for Vegeta to have done it... She was reminded of who Vegeta was and why she had put up with him for all these years.

Because she loved him, and he loved her, even if he never said it.

She smiled. "Okay, Vegeta. I'll see you at home then."

He nodded without expression, turning away and leaving her in the hall, staring after him.

He can be arrogant, mean, and cruel, Bulma thought to herself, but in his own little way, I think he's a wonderful guy...

"She sure washed him out-a her hair!" Bra's laughing voice broke into Bulma's mind.

"Quiet!" Dynah's giggling voice hushed. "She'll hear you!"

Bulma fumed a bit as she listened to the dozens of footsteps retreat back into the women's bath room, realizing they had been listening to her conversation. Now they were probably mocking her for her earlier decision, the decision she had been so sure was right and almost all of them agreed with. Most of the women in there had been complaining about how ever man they had ever met was a complete jerk and probably thought Bulma was fool to stay with Vegeta or not even attempt to reprimand him. They all, except for Bra, probably took her for a fool to stick with Vegeta.

(Music for: "I'm In Love With a Wonderful Guy" begins.)

::a bit steamed::

I expect everyone in that crowd to make fun

Of my proud protestations of faith in romance.

And they'll say I'm naive as a babe to not see

All his faults that are there like so many dents.

::stands proudly::

Fearlessly, I'll face them and argue their doubts away!

Loudly, I'll sing about flowers and spring!

Flatly, I'll stand on my little flat feet and say...

Love is a grand and beautiful thing!

I am not ashamed to reveal

The famous feeling I feel!

<There is a pause in the music as Bulma realizes that she is standing near naked in the hallway and anyone could come by at any second. She returns to the bathing room and everyone stares at her, giggling and whispering, as she walks in. She only smiles as the music starts up again.>

::bursts into song::

I'm as corny as Kansas in August!

I'm as normal as blueberry pie,

Just a smart middle-aged woman with no heart!

I have found me a wonderful guy!

::dancing around the room, sometimes spinning other women with her::

I am in a conventional dither

With a conventional star in my eye.

If you will note there's a lump in my throat

When I speak of that wonderful guy!

I'm as trite and as gay

As a daisy in May,

A cliche coming true!

I'm bromidic and bright

As a moon-happy night

Pouring on the dew!

I'm as corny as Kansas in August,

High as a flag on the fourth of July!

If you'll excuse an expression I use,

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

I'm in love with a wonderful guy!

<Another dance break. Bulma dances around, twirling around with the other women, who seem to change their opinions on love and men in general. They dance around with equal vigor. Bra brightens up, the threat to her parents' marriage now gone. The dance break ends, and Bulma begins again.>

I'm as corny as Kansas in August,

High as a flag on the fourth of July!

If you'll excuse an expression I use,

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

::twirls around::

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

::pretends to swoon::

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

::holds hands to her heart::

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

::jumps up::

I'm in love!

::all dancing around together::

I'm in love!
I'm in love!

I'm in love!

I'm in love!

::stop dancing and gather in one spot, with Bulma and Bra in the middle::

I'm in love with a wonderful guy!!!

(Music ends.)

Bulma hummed a cheerful, familiar tune as she got into the driver's seat, Bra sitting beside her. Bulma smiled at her squeaky clean reflection in the rearview mirror, feeling so much better than when she had last been in the car.

"Oh, Bra!" she exclaimed, giving her daughter a huge grin. "Isn't life swell?"

"Uh... sure it is, 'Kaasan..." Bra replied, glancing off to the side. She wasn't sure which was scarier: her mother when she was deliriously happy or her mother when she was completely enraged.

"Hmm..."

Bra looked back at her mother. "What?"

"Why did you say you were in love?" Bulma stared back at her daughter with one eyebrow quirked up.

"Um... no reason..." Bra mumbled as an image of a certain dark-haired half-Saiyajin popped into her thoughts.