Forever and
Three Years
By Veldeia
Rating: PG-13 for violence, even death (but it's no one you know)
Category: Angst, hurt/comfort, smarm, drama, action, alternate
universe
Spoilers: Everything up to Forever in a Day
Summary: A week after Sha're's death, an alternate Daniel arrives through the quantum mirror with his sad story. But will both Daniels survive the
meeting?
1.
Daniel
bit his
teeth together and pressed his hand tightly against his wounded side.
He had to keep running, he was almost there. Almost free. God, it
hurt. He'd never been shot before, not like this, with a bullet, with
a regular pistol. It'd always been zats and staff weapons and hand
devices and odd alien things.
He
had to
stop, just for a while, to lean on the wall and try to collect
himself. His hair was falling in front of his eyes, and he brushed it
aside. His fingers were slick with blood.
The
shouts and
steps were approaching too quickly. It shouldn't have come to this.
He'd always managed before, had always been able to speak himself out
of any trouble. People had always listened to him. But this time,
he'd been stupid, he'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and
now they had him cornered and he had no choice.
He
had to keep
going. Run.
Daniel
pushed
himself away from the wall and ran. The pain radiated down towards
his leg, making him limp.
A
bullet hit
the floor at his feet, and a few more ricocheted in the corridor. Too
near. But he was almost there.
One
turn
around the corner, and there it was, the door he'd been looking for,
and the guards he'd expected. He gave them no time, just pulled his
zat and shot them. Once. Just shoot them once. No, shit, he'd hit
that one twice. He was dead. No time to worry about that. Keep
running.
Daniel
took
the keycard from one of the guards, put it in the slot and pushed the
door open. He closed it behind him and zatted it a few times.
His
way out,
his salvation, stood at the back of the room. He walked to the wall
and opened a compartment. The remote controller was there, right where it should be. He picked it up, turned on the device, and put the remote
in his pocket. They wouldn't be able to
follow him. They would never find him.
He
touched the
mirror.
Just
as the
door burst open behind him and a shower of bullets hailed the room,
Daniel disappeared in a bright flash.
Jack
turned to
look at Daniel, crossed his arms and sighed. God, he hated seeing his
friend like this.
Daniel
sat on
the sofa, his hands wrapped around him as if he was cold. His gaze
was pointed at the TV, but the look on his face was absent, like he
had no idea of what he was watching.
Anyone
who
could watch three episodes of the Simpsons in a row without as much
as a grin had to be really low.
Jack
wondered
if this had been such a good idea after all, but both Teal'c and
Carter had agreed with him on that. They had to try something.
A
week after
Sha're's death, most of the physical trauma Daniel had suffered had
healed completely. Still, he was broken. Jack knew she had been the
thing that had kept him going, the center of his world, the reason he
went through the gate.
The
hope of
finding Sha're and getting her back had always been there. Now, it
was gone forever. She was gone, and by Teal'c's hand, no less. Jack
had been surprised to hear that Daniel didn't blame Teal'c and
forgave him right away. He wondered if that was what Daniel really
thought, or if it was just a facade. If he just said it because he
wanted to be friendly, even though deep down he hated Teal'c for what
he'd done.
Jack
knew
perfectly well what it was like. He couldn't really say if he'd ever
truly gotten over losing Charlie. He'd almost killed himself for it.
Daniel had changed that, had helped him start again. And now Jack had
to help him as best he could.
They
all
wanted to help Daniel cope with losing his wife, but it was
difficult. Carter looked almost as sad as he did, sitting next to
him. They'd tried to act as normally as they could without offending
him in his grief. Still, they'd ended up being silent most of the
time.
Jack
sat down
at his other side. "Look, Daniel, we don't need to watch this if
you don't want to."
"It's
all
right, Jack," the answer came in a flat tone.
"We
could
just do something else. We could play something--how about Monopoly?
Or Scrabble? No, wait, not that, since you'd beat us all right
away..."
"Whatever."
Jack
sighed
again. Doc Fraiser had already started bugging him about how he
thought Daniel was handling this. And if he thought Daniel would like
to talk to someone. After that incident with Machello's devices and
supposed schizophrenia, neither of them wanted to jump to any
conclusions. But if this went on...
No,
he just
needed time. They'd be back in business soon enough.
"Colonel
O'Neill, I require assistance," Teal'c called out from the
kitchen.
"Teal'c,
my friend... If you've broken anything, you're SO in trouble,"
Jack declared, and stood up again, heading to see what was the
matter.
"Nothing
has been broken. I am simply unable to carry all these vessels
alone."
Colonel
O'Neill cast an assessing look at Teal'c's achievements.
"The
salad and the steaks look great, but what's with the black stuff on
the donuts?"
"It
is
chocolate icing. Have I failed to create it correctly?"
"Uh...
I'm sure it's great. Just a bit... dark, ya know. It's supposed to be
brown. Anyway, let's get them to the table."
He
didn't
sound very convincing. Teal'c was taken aback. He'd followed the
recipe to the letter, but obviously he had made a mistake. It did not
matter--it might even appear humorous to the others, and lighten the
atmosphere.
Just
as they
were about to pick up the platters and bowls, the phone rang.
"O'Neill."
Teal'c
saw the
slightly annoyed look on Colonel O'Neill's face change into a puzzled
one.
"What?
Wounded? No, no, he's right here with me-" he covered the
receiver with his hand and looked at Teal'c. "Go check if
Daniel's still there, will ya?"
Teal'c
frowned
at what he'd heard. The words wounded and Daniel had appeared close
enough to each other to make him worried. But he did as he was asked.
Daniel Jackson was indeed still there, seated on the sofa next to
Major Carter, looking withdrawn and full of grief. Wounded in the
soul.
"Daniel
Jackson has not left his place, Colonel O'Neill."
O'Neill
nodded, and continued talking to the telephone.
"There's
got to be some mistake--wait, where'd you say you're calling from?
Area 51? Looked at that quantum mirror thing lately?"
There
was a
long pause, during which O'Neill began to look somewhat less puzzled,
and nodded several times.
"Yes,
yeah, I think--Right, sure. We'll be there to pick him up." He
closed the phone and gestured at the food. "I think we'll need
to skip the donuts or we'll be late."
"Late
from where?"
"We're
going to pick up a Doctor Daniel Jackson from the airport."
"I
wonder
what his hair's like," the Colonel noted from behind the wheel.
"Hair's
not the first thing I'm thinking about. I mean, I've never met an
alternate version of myself. There's bound to be a lot that's
different about him," Daniel had lightened up a bit at these
unexpected news.
"There's
no way we can guess before we see him. But you two can't be too
different if they actually took this alternate one for you. Didn't
they say anything?" Sam asked.
"Well,
just that he was a hundred percent match to Doctor Jackson's ID, and
that he'd been shot."
"What?
Shot?" Daniel repeated.
"Yeah,
but it's nothing really serious. A bullet just grazed his side. They
stitched it together already--they wouldn't be sending him over to us
if he wasn't fit to travel."
"So
who
shot me--um, him?"
"Wouldn't
tell them. He'd specifically asked to see me. Said that he'd only
explain it all to Jack O'Neill. Colonel Jack O'Neill."
So
far, Sam
hadn't heard of anything that'd point to any major differences. This
alternate Daniel was a Doctor as well, and the O'Neill in his
universe had been a Colonel. That wasn't a lot to go on.
She
could
remember how odd it had been to face an alternate version of herself.
How they'd been both completely the same and totally different. Out
of all the weird things she'd seen during her time in the Stargate
program, it had been one of the strangest. She couldn't imagine how
Daniel would feel about it now, when he already had so much on his
mind.
The
memory of
the last time someone had come through the mirror also reminded her
of the side effects. The entropic cascade failure. If they really had
an alternate Daniel visiting their reality, then he'd be facing that
in just a few days. She wondered if he knew about it. Hopefully he
wouldn't stay that long.
For
the first
time in days, Daniel felt like he was fully awake. The idea of
meeting himself was just so weird that it'd actually pulled him up
from that gray haze that had surrounded him. Not that Jack, Sam and
Teal'c hadn't been getting through, though. They had been wonderful.
He didn't know where he'd be without them. He just hadn't been able
to tell them, to show it to them.
And
this was
just way too strange.
Daniel
looked
at the man who was escorted to meet them, sitting in a wheelchair,
and felt like he was looking into an old mirror. That was his face,
his eyes--but Jack had been right about the hair. It was different,
and then again, it wasn't. His own hair had looked just like that
less than a year ago. Longer.
He
had no idea
of what to say, but his counterpart spoke up first.
"Jack!
You're just like... you. Just the same. But..." he fell silent,
taking in the entire team. The look on his face when he saw Teal'c
and Sam was something Daniel couldn't interpret. Worried, or anxious,
or nervous, maybe even a bit angry. It was just a flash that soon
changed into open, raw grief.
His
alternative self stood up from the wheelchair and put his hands on
Teal'c's shoulders. "Teal'c... I'm so glad to see you... You
have no idea... Though I never really knew you..."
Teal'c
answered with a raised eyebrow and a nod.
He
moved to
face Sam. For a moment, he just stood there, his face contorted with
emotion. Then he wrapped his hands around her and pulled her in a
hug.
"I'm
sorry, so sorry, Sam," he sobbed into her shoulder. Sam
stiffened a bit, but then, she answered his hug, rubbing his back
only a bit awkwardly.
No
one dared
to speak up. Not even Jack.
Daniel
was
starting to feel really freaked out here.
Alternate-Daniel
finally released his grip of Sam, and turned to meet Daniel.
"I,
uh..." Daniel started. Asking whether he'd had a thing with Sam
was about the most tactless thing he could imagine.
"I...
You
can't imagine what it feels like, can you? You've been so lucky. So
very lucky," his counterpart said in a quavering voice. "I
didn't expect this... They're all alive--Teal'c and Sam, both still
alive--and--is she still alive as well?"
Daniel
looked
right into this other Daniel's bright blue eyes, and they understood
each other perfectly. He'd never had a thing with Sam.
Sha're.
She
was dead. They had both lost her. They hugged each other silently.
Daniel
felt
tears welling in his eyes, and tried to fight them back. Not here,
not now. This was stupid. He let go of his alternate, feeling
embarrassed.
"It
never
goes away, does it? The pain, the emptiness... Not even after three
years," Alternate-Daniel uttered.
Daniel
felt
his mouth fall open. "Three years? But... It's hardly been a
week!"
2.
They
spent
most of the way back in an extremely awkward silence. Jack tried to
keep up the small talk, ask about the people in Area 51 and how
they'd handled Daniel, and how the flight had been and so on.
Anytime the conversation edged towards what had happened before
Daniel had gotten here, he withdrew or changed the subject.
They
all
thought it best to leave the real, difficult questions until they
were back at the SGC, with Hammond around to hear it all as well.
So,
when they
were back to base, there was no avoiding it. This other Daniel would
have to explain things, as hard as it was.
"So,
Daniel-" Jack began, and both two instantly turned to look at
him. The same bright eyes, the same raised eyebrows--just the hair
was clearly different, although in a familiar way. That longer hair
made the other Daniel look younger, but on the other hand, he had
lines on his face that the real Daniel didn't have. There was
something old in the way he looked at things--a surrender, a deep
sadness that Jack had only seen in the real Daniel's eyes last week,
after Sha're's death.
Calling
them
"real" and "other" really wasn't very polite. So,
he'd need to come up with something else.
"What
do
they call you, anyway, in your universe?"
"Daniel.
You always call me that. Sam did, too. General Hammond calls me
Doctor Jackson. And Teal'c, I think Teal'c always said Daniel
Jackson, for the short while he was around..."
"But
that's not going to work. I can't call you both Daniel. How about...
Danny?"
"Jack,
please..." that voice, that tone was so familiar that if Jack
hadn't seen which one was speaking, he'd had no way to tell them
apart.
"All
right. Jackson?"
"Sounds
odd, but I guess it'll make things a bit easier."
"So,
son," General Hammond started. "I'm afraid we're going to
have to ask you to tell us what happened."
"Yeah...
I know... Where do you want me to start?"
"At
the
beginning?" Jack suggested.
"I...
I'd
like to know how... How did you lose Sha're? Three years ago?"
Daniel asked softly.
"It
was
the very first mission, soon after we lost Kawalsky... That happened
here too, right?"
"Yeah,
he's gone. Snake in the head and so on," Jack answered. If
Jackson was anything like Daniel, he'd have felt just as bad about
that, and he'd also know how bad Jack had felt about it. And he did
leave it at that.
"So,
we
went through the gate--and straight into Apophis's arms. It was a
planet where he had a small outpost, but we were unlucky enough to
barge in just when he was there. Jack and Teal'c got away, Sam and I
were captured... And she was there. Sha're. Of course, she wasn't
there. It was Amaunet... She..." his voice faded into a heavy
sigh.
"You
know, just... Take your time, you don't have to tell this all to us,
not right now, if you're..." Daniel said to his alternate.
Looked like he was already starting to regret asking it.
"No,
no,
I'm fine, I'll have to do this sooner or later anyway, and it's been
so long already... But it's still... She had me and Sam, and she
wasn't the least bit interested about Sam, but she thought I was...
amusing. And she..."
Jack
really
didn't like the sound of what he was trying to tell. He figured
they'd all got the idea. Sounded like Amaunet had tortured him. How
she'd done it was completely beside the point.
"It's
all
right, I think we've all got what you mean," Jack told him.
"Right,
good, all right... So, you--I mean, Jack and Teal'c, returned with
reinforcements. They came just at the right time, since Apophis had
left and taken most of his guard with him, and they got in when she
was... God, they were sure she'd kill me, but then Teal'c killed
her."
"Oh,"
the real Daniel uttered, sounding shocked.
This
was bad.
Really bad. Why did it have to be Teal'c, in that universe too? As if
things weren't difficult enough already.
"He
told
me that this was better for her. For Sha're. Better to die than to
spend an eternity imprisoned in her own mind, watching herself do
horrible things without anything she could do about it."
Yes,
Teal'c
had to admit that these were words he might well have chosen himself.
It had been how he had thought at that time, years ago, when he had
had no idea that much of the host could actually survive. Now, he had
begun to believe that saving the host might be possible.
Teal'c
could
find no words of comfort to offer to either of the two Daniel
Jacksons.
"I
cannot
apologize on his behalf, for I am not him. Still, I am sorry,"
he said.
"He
apologized himself... And then..." Jackson paused hesitantly.
"Then, only a month later, he died."
"What--how?"
Daniel Jackson and Major Carter said simultaneously. It was what
Teal'c thought as well.
"Teal'c
died. On P3X-797. The Land of Light."
"We
went
there too, but... God, I'm so sorry. What happened?" Daniel
asked.
"When
everyone else was getting sick, we went back to the planet, and the
Touched attacked us, and we fought back, but there were too many...
And the next thing I remember, Jack and Sam came back with the cure
and healed all the Touched, but Teal'c was already..."
Teal'c
remembered the incident well. They had indeed returned to the planet,
but when the Touched had assaulted them, Teal'c had been able to
drive them away, shooting at them. They had captured Daniel, but
Teal'c had escaped. No one had been seriously harmed. It was strange
to hear that his other self had been unable to repel the attackers.
"So...
What became of SG-1, then?" Colonel O'Neill asked.
"Lou
took
Teal'c's place. Major Ferretti. We got along all right."
There
were
definitely some major differences between this universe and the one
this Jackson came from. Sam had been more than surprised at his
reaction when he'd seen her and Teal'c, but it was beginning to make
sense. To think that only a month after he had lost Sha're, he'd also
lost Teal'c--and then, he hadn't told yet what had happened to her
counterpart. She didn't want to ask that, but he must've guessed they
all wanted to hear it.
"Sam...
Sam died a year or so after that. Just when she'd survived being
taken over by the Tok'ra Jolinar, she died in Hadante... Some of the
other prisoners, they... God, it was so wrong! She died there, just
moments before we got out, and we got out all because of her..."
Sam
had been
there as well, SG-1 had been there, imprisoned in Hadante. She had
seen what the other prisoners were like. She could remember how
they'd looked at her. She didn't want to think how her alternative
had died.
"I'm...
That's awful, Daniel," she uttered, reaching to take hold of
Jackson's hand.
"And..."
he started. It sounded like he was going to add another casualty to
the long list. Sam was appalled to hear that.
"It
happened just before I left... Janet... I never got to her funeral."
"Jeez--what
happened to her?" Jack asked.
"That's...
I'm... I wanted to tell this to Jack alone, because... I know he
knows me, and he wouldn't... But the rest of you, I think you know me
as well, so I can tell it to all of you. Janet... God, I found her,
she was dying, someone had stabbed her... And they found us, and they
thought I'd done it."
Daniel
nearly
fell off his chair. They blamed him for killing Janet? That was
completely ridiculous. It made no sense.
"You've
got to see... My universe isn't like yours. I've just been here for a
short while, but I've seen trust, and friendship, and loyalty. Where
I come from, it's not that simple. We've had too many conspiracies,
and just... Too much grief, too many bad things happening..."
"And...
That's why you're here? You're just... Running from them because they
think you killed her?" Daniel said, thinking that it sounded
hard to believe. On the other hand, the whole idea of a universe
without Sam and Teal'c was difficult to believe.
"Yes...
And not just that. They... Someone framed me, I'm sure of it. They
accused me of several other murders as well, including people I'd
never even heard of... But whatever was behind it, it was all the
same, and they wouldn't believe me... I saw their evidence, and it
was way too strong. They would've had me sentenced for life. So, I
had no choice but to run."
"So
that's who shot you? SGC guards? Your own people?" Jack asked,
sounding astounded.
Jackson's
hand
went to his side, to that just recently stitched wound. "They
did. You were the only one who would believe me, the only one who
knew me well enough to know that I couldn't have done it all.. Jack
helped me out. He got me out of my cell, and gave me a zat. I don't
know what they've done to him if they've found out."
That
was
awful, but Daniel could believe it. They'd had their share of
conspiracies already, that trouble with the NID, not to mention
invisible aliens and Goa'ulds and so on. He didn't know where the NID
conspiracy thing would lead. He was sure they'd face it again later,
and it'd not be easy. But that someone had framed him as a serial
killer--after he'd lost them all, Sha're, Teal'c, Sam, Janet. That
was horrible. He didn't know how he--his other self--had been able to
take it all.
He
didn't know
how he could take it all himself. Sha're was dead. Sha're was dead in
that other universe as well. Teal'c had killed her in both universes.
She was gone. Gone, forever. But he couldn't think about that now.
"So...
How'd you get here? If you were on the run, how could you make your
way to the mirror?" Sam asked.
"In
my
universe, it's in the SGC, not in Area 51. And it was the only way
out I could think of. I think I killed a few guards on my way here...
Zatted them twice... God, that really makes me a murderer, doesn't
it? I never meant to do it... I didn't want to..." his
counterpart shook his head, and buried his face in his hands.
"I
really
think this is enough for now," Daniel told them, his throat
constricted.
"I
agree,
Doctor--Daniel," Hammond said, quickly switching from Jackson to
Daniel to keep them from getting confused, but it was still
confusing. "Doctor Fraiser said she'd like to keep an eye on
him. If you would please escort him to the infirmary."
"Sure
thing, sir," Jack answered for them all.
They
stood up,
Jackson looking like he could hardly stay on his feet. Jack and
Teal'c offered their arms to him.
"I
shot
the guards and I really am a killer... They'll shoot me on sight,"
he uttered desperately. "I can't go back. I can never go home."
3.
Daniel
was
lying on a bed in one of the plain VIP rooms he'd known to expect,
hands behind his head. Thinking. Trying to pull himself together.
He
couldn't
stand their pity. He didn't want it. It only made him feel worse. But
it was inevitable, and he knew that. Of course they'd pity him. And
he pitied them for that.
Daniel--the
other one, the one from this universe--was sitting on a chair at the
other end of the room, staring into the distance. He was having a
hard time with this. As much as Daniel hated making it worse, he had
no choice.
"So...
I
guess you can guess I'll have to ask this sooner or later... About
Sha're. I told you my story. What about yours?" he asked.
The
other one
turned to look at him as if he'd forgotten there was someone else in
the room.
"Yeah...
I guess I knew... Right. It's only been a week. She... We... There
was this big attack against her forces... And I found her in a tent,
and she used her hand device on me--and she sent me a message through
it, telling me about--well, that wouldn't mean anything to you.
And..."
"And...
They had to kill her so she wouldn't kill you?"
"Yeah..."
the other nodded slowly. "Yeah. He had no choice."
"He?
Who?
Who did it?"
"Teal'c...
Teal'c had to kill her. But I'm not angry at him. He did the right
thing. I know that."
"Do
you
really believe that? That there was no other choice?"
The
other
Daniel sighed. "I'm... It's..." he shook his head. "I
think I do. I do believe it. She told me to forgive Teal'c. One of
her last wishes. So I forgive him. It's what she wanted."
"Really?
She said that?"
"Through
the hand device. When she had me in her grip. I know it sounds crazy,
but I know it was true."
"Her
last
words... Her last thoughts... I wish I could've heard those too. I
never saw her again. Sha're. After the day I first lost her, I never
saw her. Only Amaunet, and then she was gone."
They
both fell
silent for a while. Daniel had the eerie feeling that they were even
breathing in the same time. They were the same. And still, not the
same. He was sure their thoughts weren't going the same way.
"So...
What do you think about him? Teal'c?" he asked. "What's he
like? I... I never got to know him the way you do. They'd just
allowed him to join the SGC when he..."
"That's
an odd question, really. What do I think about Teal'c? He's one of
the best friends I've ever had. Like Jack and Sam. I guess I think of
them as my family."
"And...
Jack and Sam? Anything between them?"
"Huh?
Why
do you ask that? Was there something between them in your universe?"
"Oh,
no!
No, there wasn't. But we did a bit of exploration through the mirror,
and found out that there were quite a few universes where they did.
Just had to check. I think your universe is one of the most similar
ones I've seen. I've only met my counterpart in two other universes,
but they were nothing like you and I. Completely different. And I
think you're the luckiest of us all."
"But...
There's got to be a universe out there where she's still alive."
"So
I
thought. But I've yet to find that one. If it really exists. Maybe
some things are just bound to happen, sooner or later."
"So,
Colonel. You're the one who's known Doctor Jackson longer than anyone
else in this base. What do you make of this... visitor of ours?"
General Hammond asked, when Jack had sat down in front of him, in his
office.
That
was a
tough one. Yes, Jack had known Daniel for a while. He thought he knew
Daniel better than anyone else. In a way, that was a weakness, in
this case.
"Sir...
I
think he's... Daniel. He's just so Daniel that it's freaking me out.
I can imagine that's what he'd be like if all that bad stuff would've
happened to him. Poor guy, really. He's been through a lot."
"You
think we can trust him, then? He can't show us any proof of what he's
told."
"Sir--he's
Daniel, right? I trust him. Daniel doesn't lie unless he's got a damn
good reason to do it, and even then, he's never good at it. True, he
can't show us any proof, but--he's a fugitive, chased by his own
people. Probably didn't have time to collect his scrapbook when he
started running."
Hammond
didn't
look completely convinced. Which was good, in Jack's opinion. He
needed to be sharp or he wouldn't be able to run this program. "And
what would you propose we do with him, son?"
"I
think
we should do what we can to help him. The Doc said that gunshot wound
is mending nicely. We need to get the mirror here and start looking
for a universe with no Daniel, one where he can stay safely. He's got
to go through before that nasty entropy thingy starts happening."
"I've
already asked for the quantum mirror to be transferred here, but it's
going to take a while. In the meantime, since you're so certain that
he may be trusted, I won't be putting him under house arrest, but
he'll have a guard nearby all the time."
Jack
was about
to exclaim and protest to that, but then again, maybe it was for the
best. He knew he wasn't exactly able to think objectively here. Maybe
they'd be stupid to trust this visitor blindly. But, for crying out
loud, this was Daniel they were talking about.
The
sound of
the door opening called Teal'c out of his kel'no'reem. He was
slightly annoyed, but it did not matter, he had time. He could
continue later.
He
looked up,
and saw Daniel Jackson--the other one, the one who had long hair.
Having a stranger interrupt his kel'no'reem would have made him
irritated, but seeing that it was Jackson, he nodded and smiled.
"Teal'c.
Hi," Jackson said a bit hesitantly, and sat down, cross-legged,
in front of Teal'c.
"Greetings,
Daniel Jackson."
"I
just
figured... I wanted to talk to you. Maybe get to know you a bit
better, now that I'm going to spend at least a while in this
universe. You know, this is the only universe where I've really had
the chance to talk to you. In every other one I've seen, you've
either still been Apophis's first prime, or dead."
"This
is
most disturbing to hear."
"So,
you're good friends in this universe, right?"
"There
is
a strong bond of friendship between myself and Daniel Jackson."
"You'd
do
anything to protect him?"
"I
would."
He
would do
anything. Even kill Daniel Jackson's wife, when he had no other
choice. Teal'c had the feeling that that was what this Jackson had in
mind as well, but he did not say it. Perhaps Teal'c was wrong.
Jackson
crouched even closer to him.
"Would
you protect me, too, Teal'c?"
"Of
what
do you speak? You are in no danger here."
"But
I
am!" he said urgently, and then, whispered right into his ear,
"Teal'c, I think I'm being followed... I'm almost sure of it.
Someone, or something, came through the mirror with me... I think
they're in here... In this room... Teal'c, you've got to... Oh God,
no!"
Teal'c
didn't
know what happened, exactly. He saw Jackson flinch, lurch in a
strange way, a movement that he should've understood, but he didn't.
The
next thing
he knew, a blinding pain struck him. Something sharp pierced his
pouch. His prim'ta curled in agony.
Teal'c
swung
his arms haphazardly, trying to hit whoever had attacked him, but it
was no good.
He
fought to
stay in control, to stay conscious. He needed to protect Jackson. But
he could not. His symbiote was so badly harmed that it wasn't even
moving anymore.
He
heard
Jackson calling out, "Help! Someone, anyone, please, help!"
He
was weak,
he had not been able to fight, he had failed to protect Jackson.
Perhaps
he
deserved this.
There
was only
darkness.
"What?
What's happened? Oh, no!" Sam put down the phone in her lab.
She
left her
computer open, her notes on the quantum mirror technology still on
the screen, and sprinted towards the infirmary.
Teal'c
had
been hurt. Badly. And Jackson was hurt as well, again.
Both
Daniel
and Jack joined her on her way there, and they ran in together, only
to find that Teal'c was nowhere to be seen, and Jackson was
surrounded by medical staff.
A
nurse
approached them, informing them that "I'm sorry, they're
operating on Teal'c right now--I'm sure they'll let you know when
there are any news."
She
wasn't
surprised when Jack instantly stood up against that. "At least
you can tell me what's up with him. No one's told us anything except
that it's bad."
"I
don't
think anyone knows exactly. He has a stab wound to the abdomen, and
it has seriously harmed his symbiote. They're doing everything they
can."
Gods.
Teal'c's
symbiote had been stabbed. That was where he was most vulnerable. If
they couldn't save the symbiote, then there'd be little they could do
to help Teal'c, unless they could find a replacement very fast.
"What
about... the other me?" Daniel asked.
"A
cut to
the side, very near to his previous gunshot wound. It's not
life-threatening. He'll be all right. Perhaps he'll be able to tell
what happened."
"I
think
I can tell something," a guard suggested. He had blood on his
sleeves.
"You
the
one who found them?" Jack inquired.
"Yes,
sir."
"So,
speak!"
"I
was
stationed as Jackson's guard. He wanted to visit Teal'c, so I
followed, and stayed just outside the door, as ordered. He'd hardly
been inside for five minutes, when I heard sounds of struggle, and
then, Jackson was calling out for help. I went in and found them,
both lying on the floor, bleeding. So, I called in the medics, and
that's it."
"No
signs
of anyone else in the room?" Sam frowned.
"None
that I could see. I did find the weapon they'd been struck with,
though, the knife was on the floor right next to them."
Sam
nodded.
This was really strange. What could possibly have happened? She
couldn't help thinking back to what Jackson had told. That he'd found
Janet who had been stabbed, and then they'd blamed him for doing it.
This was just like that. If there really had been no one else in the
room... But this time, Jackson was hurt as well.
"We've
got to search the room, there's bound to be something there. And get
fingerprints from the knife and so on," she told the others.
"I've
already set a team on it, Major Carter," General Hammond called
out from the door.
"That's
the best you can do, Jackson?" Jack yelled, the look on his face
surprisingly cold.
Jackson's
story of what had happened was flawed at best, Daniel had to admit
that. He'd apparently not seen much of what happened. All he could
tell was that he'd talked with Teal'c, and then, something had struck
them, but he hadn't seen who or what it was. As far as he could say,
it'd been invisible.
"God,
you're going to think I did it, too, aren't you?" he said
miserably.
Jack
looked
like he might actually think that. Daniel couldn't believe it. He
thought Jack knew him better than that. Thinking that his
counterpart, who had lost Teal'c in his own universe, would try to
attack him here, that made no sense at all.
"I
know
you didn't do it," Daniel said to Jackson. "Jack, you've
got to believe that too. He can't have done it."
"They've
followed me. Someone, or something, has followed me through the gate.
They're doing it again. They'll turn you against me, and I'll have to
flee again. Maybe I'd better just stop fighting it. Just end it all.
Go and join them. Sha're, Teal'c, Sam..." he closed his eyes,
gasping, and grabbed his side. Daniel knew it had two rows of
stitches now.
He
was
watching himself talk suicidally. If he'd ever felt like someone just
walked over his grave, this was it.
"Danny,
just take it easy... I'm not going to jump into any conclusions
here," the look on Jack's face had melted into worry and
anxiety.
It
was so
weird to hear Jack using that nickname when speaking to someone else,
who really wasn't him. He guessed he felt a bit jealous, childish as
it was. But at least Jack had dropped the bad cop act for a while.
Janet
had
appeared at the bedside, and was casting those killing glances at
them.
"I
think
we've all got enough to be upset about here without you adding to
it," she told Jack.
Jack
instantly
jumped up and turned to look at her. "Teal'c?"
"He's
out
of the operating room, but not nearly out of danger yet. His symbiote
was almost cut in half. It's a miracle we were able to save it at
all. We can't expect him to wake up anytime soon."
"But
he's
going to be all right?" Daniel asked.
"If
all
goes well. We'll just have to wait and see."
4.
He
couldn't
believe he'd failed. It shouldn't have been that difficult.
Everything had went just as planned, but the damn Jaffa just refused
to die.
Either
he was
getting sloppy and careless, or then he'd just run out of luck.
Teal'c
would
probably survive. But that wasn't the end of the world, since Teal'c
wasn't the first priority anyway. He'd always have time to deal with
him later, when he'd gotten rid of his first target. If he'd manage
that.
He'd
have to
plan everything carefully. Although time was of the essence here, he
couldn't risk rushing it. Failure would probably lead to his death.
All
things
considered, it had actually been a stupid move to go at Teal'c now,
but he had gotten emotional about it. That was, of course, the one
problem he'd always had.
He
had thought
it would've been a nice gesture, a sort of an apology for what he
would have to do. He still didn't like the idea of doing it, although
he knew it was the only way. He had no choice.
"We're
going to find out who did this, and when we get them, I'm going
to..."
Jack
fell
silent. He was going to--what, kill them? Well, that wasn't really an
option. But by God, he'd make them wish he had.
He
gazed at
the knife, back from the lab, sealed in a plastic bag, still stained
with blood.
It
was a bread
knife, a goddamn bread knife from their very own mess. They'd checked
with the mess staff, and yes, they had a knife missing, but they
couldn't say for how long, exactly, no matter how important it was.
There
were no
fingerprints on it. None at all. Whoever had done it had been
cautious enough not to leave any. So, one thing seemed certain: there
had been some amount of planning behind the attack. Not that it was
surprising. Attacking a person in the most secretive of all top
secret military facilities in the country and escaping without
trace--that certainly required some planning.
"Yeah,
I'll be there with you to do that, whatever it might be," Daniel
replied to him. "Really, I can't see how this could happen. It's
like a bad detective mystery. A closed room with a guard at the door,
no traces of struggle except for the knife and the blood on the
floor... No suspects."
"Ah,
but
we have a suspect," Jack raised a finger. "There were two
people in the room."
"Jack,
we
talked this over already. If you blame him for doing it--you could
just as well blame me."
"Yeah,
except that I've known you for years, and this guy just came in
today. You trust people way too easily, Daniel."
"Yeah,
and you don't trust them enough. He's me, Jack."
"He's
not
you. He's... Another you."
"So,
let's just assume for a while that he didn't do it, and that he's
right about someone following him. I think it's scarier than the
alternative, really. It means that there's someone in here we don't
know about. Someone we might not be able to see."
Jack
considered that for a while. He'd already thought about it before,
and Daniel was right, it was a nasty idea. One they certainly
shouldn't rule out. He was going to talk about this with Hammond in a
few minutes anyway, so he'd bring it up.
"Nothing
I like more than a good ol' invisible alien assassin," he noted.
"I think we'll just have to grab our TER's once again and do a
full sweep of the base. Who knows what we'll find."
"Yeah...
I'm going to see how Teal'c's doing."
"I've
got
a better idea. How about you stop by at the mess, get something to
eat, and then go to sleep? When's the last time you ate and slept
anyway? 'Cause, if you ask me, I'd say it was before... Well, you
know, before she..."
The
look on
Daniel's face darkened instantly when Jack as much as hinted at
Sha're. "Jack, I ate at your place just, what was it, some hours
ago."
"No,
you
didn't. I saw it. You nibbled. It was pathetic. Eating happens when
you grab a fork and use it to put food in your mouth."
Daniel
sighed,
shook his head and marched out of the room.
Jack
sighed
and shook his head too, as soon as Daniel had gone.
He
couldn't
decide which of the two he was more worried about.
Teal'c
really
didn't look so good. Janet had said that both Teal'c and the symbiote
were in a coma, and she couldn't begin to guess when they'd come out
of it. If ever. After years of having Teal'c around, they still
didn't know a whole lot about the physiology of that larval Goa'uld.
Sam
stopped by
to visit Jackson on her way out of the infirmary.
"So,
how're you doing?"
"Better
than I should, I guess. I mean, someone's tried to kill me twice in
less than a day, and all I've got is a few stitches. Well, a good few
stitches, really. But it could be so much worse. I'm just waiting for
Janet's leave to move back to that VIP room. It's not the Home of the
Year, but at least it's nicer than being stuck here all the time."
Sam
frowned.
"Yeah... About doing better than you should, there's one thing
I've been wondering..."
"Entropic
cascade failure?"
He'd
figured
that one out really fast. This Jackson definitely wasn't any less
sharp than the Daniel she knew. "You know about it?"
"I'd
say
I know quite a bit about it. We went through the quantum mirror a few
times. Did some research. I suffered some ECF myself, more than once,
so I do know what it feels like, and I've been expecting it to start
all along."
"But,
so
far so good?"
"Yeah.
The thing about ECF is, none of our science staff have been able to
figure out how to predict it, when it strikes, how bad it is and so
on. I mean, I think common sense would suggest that it's worse if the
two universes are very similar to each other, but how can you prove
that? How can you measure how similar two universes are?"
Sam
couldn't
think of any way to do that. It'd be impossible to compare everything
that'd happened in both worlds. The smallest differences would surely
be too tiny to notice, while the major ones could easily overwhelm
everything else and distract the observer.
"Anyway,
we've got the mirror here now. If you're all right with it, we'll try
and find a universe without you... Without Daniel Jackson. So you
could stay there safely."
"There's
no 'safe' for me as long as the someone or something following me
goes free, but that's a whole other problem... So, thank you,
Sam--I'd really appreciate it."
They'd
just
have to start looking, trying to find a suitable alternate reality.
It wouldn't be easy, she could tell that right away. They'd probably
run into many dangerous realities, where the Goa'uld would've won and
conquered the SGC and Earth, or something even worse. They'd be
risking a lot for one man, but Sam was prepared to do it, for this
Jackson--this Daniel, who had been through so much. They didn't have
clearance to start yet, but she was sure Hammond would give it.
She
made her
way to the lab where the quantum mirror was waiting. It was off, of
course. She picked up the remote to activate it, just to skim through
universes and see what the other ends looked like. But nothing
happened. The device stayed dead.
She
walked
closer to it and tried again, and even went as far as to touch it.
Could it have somehow been broken when they'd transported it here? That
had never happened before, and it didn't sound plausible. But the
fact was that it clearly wasn't working.
They
didn't
know a whole lot about how the mirror worked anyway. The Area 51
staff had only brushed the surface of the whole complexity of it. She
was glad they'd managed to convince Hammond and the other people in
charge to keep it instead of just destroying it. Now, she'd need all
the knowledge they had.
Sam
opened the
panel at the side of the mirror, one that allowed access to some of
its technology, and swore at what she saw. The technology was
partially crystal-based, like that of the Goa'uld, only much more
complex. It was all melted and broken, a real mess. It reminded her
strongly of the effect a zat gun would have on something like this.
Someone had sabotaged the quantum mirror.
Daniel
sat by
Teal'c's bed, staring at his still form, without actually seeing a
thing.
Why
did this
have to be so hard?
He
couldn't
figure out what he felt. About Jackson. About Teal'c. About
everything. And Sha're. Sha're, who was everything.
Jackson
had
asked if Daniel really believed that Teal'c had had no choice. Now
that he thought about it, he didn't think he believed it. He believed
Teal'c had had a choice, that things could've played out differently.
Daniel
was
still angry at Teal'c. And still, he did forgive Teal'c. He had to.
He knew it was the right thing to do, and Teal'c was his friend. And
now that Teal'c was hurt too, being angry at him and doubting his
actions made Daniel feel like a really bad person.
That
part of
his mind that still paid some attention to the surroundings warned
him that Janet was approaching. He picked up a Kleenex and did his
best to wipe away any traces of tears. He didn't want her to see he'd
been crying. She wouldn't be able to help anyway. No one would. He
needed to sort this all out himself. Figure out what he really felt
about things. And how to keep going when everything was wrong and
Sha're was dead.
"Colonel
O'Neill is right, Daniel. You should sleep. Teal'c's still going to
be here in the morning, I can promise you that."
"Can
you,
really? What if someone attacks him again?"
That
was
another worry Daniel couldn't get rid of. That whoever had attacked
Teal'c and Jackson would come back to finish it. They'd obviously
known what they'd been doing, because they'd went for Teal'c's
symbiote. He couldn't believe it had been just a random attack at
whoever had happened to be there with Jackson.
"That's
why we're going to keep the guards here around the clock. Nothing bad
can happen. So, shoo, now! Doctor's orders."
Daniel
stood
up and nodded. He was tired, he wouldn't deny that, but he also knew
he wouldn't be able to sleep.
When
he left
the infirmary, he noted that Jackson wasn't there anymore. Probably
gone to the VIP room again. Somehow, Daniel knew he wasn't sleeping
either.
On
his way to
his room, Daniel met Sam, who looked really upset about something.
"It's
the
quantum mirror," she told him. "It's broken--deliberately
sabotaged, I think--and the Area 51 staff can't tell how long it's
been like that. We've asked for their security camera data, but,
again, it's going to take a while before we get it."
"Sam,
wait," he frowned. "It's broken, as in, not working? So the
other me can't leave?"
"Not
in a
while. I'm not sure I can fix it on my own, but Hammond's permitted
us to contact the Tok'ra for help. We're going to make it work again
soon enough."
They'd
have to
figure it out soon enough for Jackson to get out before being in this
reality with Daniel would kill him. And how long they had before
that'd happen, no one could tell. Hopefully at least a few days.
5.
Daniel
got
back to the VIP room just in time.
The
guards--there were two of them now, for added security--had just
closed the door and left him alone when the first convulsions hit
him.
If
they'd get
worried and move him back to the infirmary... He really hated being
there. He'd spent more than enough time in the infirmary in his own
reality. In this one, he'd actually been there more than anywhere
else. Besides, being stuck there would jeopardize everything. He
wouldn't have it.
He
fell to the
bed and bit his teeth together, trying to keep as quiet as he could,
so the guards wouldn't notice anything was going on.
But
it was so
hard. It hurt so much.
There
was no
other feeling that came even close to the effects of entropic cascade
failure. Experiencing pain because of some medical reason, regular or
alien, that was one thing. Feeling one's very being torn apart
because it violated the laws of temporal physics was far worse. There
were no words sufficient for it.
He
couldn't
imagine how it'd feel to die like this. But he wouldn't need to find
out. He'd survive. Whatever it took.
The
fit didn't
last long, although it felt like hours. His watch showed that hardly
any time had passed. A minute, if even that. Not very bad to begin
with. It'd get worse soon enough.
The
most
important thing was, no one had heard a thing. No one had burst in to
see if he was all right, and to drag him away from this room.
He
lay back on
the bed and tried to think of nothing at all. Empty his mind of all
the horrors that lurked in the corners.
Maybe
he could
sleep. Just a bit. A few hours. That was the most he could hope for.
He hadn't slept properly in three years. Being in a nasty situation
in a reality that wasn't his probably wouldn't help a lot.
Jack
swept yet
another corridor with the TER, and found nothing.
So
far, no one
had found anything. So, TER was short for Transphase Eradication Rod,
which was about as awful a name as Jack had ever heard. And it was
supposed to reveal pretty much all things invisible. They'd
successfully used it to find and stop the Retou, a sort of invisible
aliens, and it'd worked on Nirrti's invisibility device as well.
If
there
really was something invisible following Jackson, this should work.
Except that the base was huge, and there were so many places where an
invisible killer could hide. At least there was nothing hiding in
this particular corridor.
"Level
15, corridor 6 clear," Jack radioed, and moved on to the next
one.
Of
course, it
was perfectly possible that they had an invisible thing of a
completely other type in here. Something like the Ashrak, the Goa'uld
assassin that the System lords had sent after Jolinar. Maybe even a
frank and old-fashioned regular Goa'uld, ex-System lord or some such,
hiding in someone.
They
were
doing everything they could to rule out all possibilities. Jack
figured they should be pretty good at this already, considering how
many times the base had already been compromised.
They
had
mobilzied all the men they could spare to scan the base, using all
the TERs they had. Doc Fraiser had her hands full of work as well,
since now she had to organize a full-scale parasite hunt, checking
all personnel as fast and as thoroughly as possible. That, of course,
came second to her all-important task of keeping Teal'c alive.
Hammond
had
put the base in quarantine. Nothing came in, nothing went out. There
were two exceptions to that, though: the security video tapes from
Area 51, which wouldn't arrive until late next morning, and the
Tok'ra, who should be coming in through the gate a bit sooner than
that.
As
much as
Jack hated being too dependent on their off-world allies, this was
one case where they really could use any help the Tok'ra could offer.
They'd be able to recognize any Goa'ulds on sight, even faster than
Teal'c, who couldn't do anything now anyway, let alone Carter, with
her residual Jolinar stuff. And hopefully they'd know something about
the quantum mirror technology, so they could fix it and send Jackson
away, before things got too nasty for him.
Another
empty
corridor done. "Level 15, corridor 5 clear."
Jack
figured
he hadn't been entirely fair with Daniel. He'd just told Daniel to go
to sleep, when he'd stayed wide awake himself, planning stuff with
the General and then putting the plans in motion. But even Hammond
had agreed that Daniel might not be of much help to them in his
current state of mind.
Jackson
could
hardly have chosen a worse time to pop in. Jack just wished they'd
get this over with really soon. One part of him said that they should
just fix the mirror and get rid of Jackson, and hope that his
problems, whatever they might be, would just go away with him. Maybe
he'd get hurt or accused of murder in some other universe too, but
that'd be someone else's problem. The rest of his mind protested
strongly against that. They couldn't just send him away without doing
their best to help him. They would never do it to Daniel, so how
could they do it to his counterpart?
Someone
knocked at the lab door.
Before
Sam had
the time to do a thing about it, the door opened, and a tired-looking
Colonel O'Neill stepped in.
"So,
I'm
not the only one working at odd hours," he told her.
"Can't
waste time sleeping," Sam replied.
They
really
couldn't. She was surprised that Jackson hadn't started going through
ECF yet, but that didn't mean it wouldn't happen all too soon. Even
when they'd get the mirror fixed--and she was sure they'd manage
it--even then, it'd take time to skim through realities and find a
suitable one.
"Any
luck?"
"Not
really. I'm just trying to understand this as well as possible, so
we'll have something to work on when the Tok'ra get here. Can't
expect them to do all the work just like that. I don't think they
know this technology all that well, either, since the Goa'uld
apparently haven't even heard of it... Anyway, what about you?
Finished already?"
"Finally.
Took a while. Lots of people cursing and complaining. But we got
there, and we found nothing. Nada. Zip."
Sam
looked at
her watch. 4 AM. Wow. She could hardly believe it was that late
already. She'd completely lost track of time, totally absorbed in the
delicate work of prying apart the partially melted components, and
trying to get the vaguest idea of what they were for.
"Nothing
at all? That's good," she answered him absently.
"But
is
it? It would've given us the easiest explanation. Just find the
invisible bad guy and get rid of them, and end of story. Now, we've
got a whole lot of other possibilities to pick from. Maybe it's an
invisible bad guy who's good at hiding. Or a parasite. Or Jackson
himself."
"You
really think it could be him?"
"I'm
definitely not going to rule that one out, until we find the real bad
guy. You know, the knife that the attacker used, that was from the
mess. Jackson had been to the mess. He could've taken it."
"But
there were no fingerprints... And they found nothing from Teal'c's
room that could've been used to cover the hilt and prevent them. Not
to mention that Jackson said he'd been framed before, and really
skillfully. This would certainly support that. Besides, Jackson got
hit too."
"Yeah. Maybe the evil parasite option's the most plausible one right now.
But there's the slight problem that no one could've entered Teal'c's
room without being noticed by the guards, the security cameras in the
corridor, Jackson and Teal'c. So, an evil parasite who can go
invisible at will?"
"It could just be an invisible thing that's not using transphasal technology at
all, but something else entirely. We don't know what the Nox used,
for example. And who knows, it might be able to walk through walls,
like the Tollans. We might not have the means to find it, let alone
eliminate it."
"Carter,
make my night, and don't say that. If it'd be something so weird and
alien, how come the guys at Jackson's end of the mirror had no idea
at all of it?"
Sam
rubbed her
tired eyes. "We can't know for sure. We can ask the Tok'ra if
they know anything about other invisibility devices. And I'm sure the
Area 51 tapes will reveal something. At least we might find out what
happened to the mirror. I think the two are connected. Someone
probably broke it because they didn't want Jackson to have that way
out."
"And
that's one of the few things that say 'it wasn't him'. Good for him.
Because if he did it, he's..." Jack shook his head. "He's
so going to regret ever entering our reality."
Sha're
was
standing right in front of him, smiling at him, as beautiful as ever,
the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
Daniel
stepped
closer, and smiled back at her.
Her
eyes
flashed. Glowed. Her smile changed, twisted, into a wicked grin. Her
face remained beautiful, but the beauty behind it, that of her
spirit, her soul, it faded away. She wasn't Sha're, she was Amaunet.
A Goa'uld. She laughed at his soft, weak, human feelings.
Amaunet
raised
her hand, and caught him in the glowing beam of the hand device. He
gasped in pain, felt his knees giving in.
And
then, in a
flash, it was over, and they were both on the ground.
The
glow of
her eyes went off once and for all as Amaunet died, and for a passing
moment, he could see Sha're's spirit reflected in her eyes again,
heard her last words, saying she loved him, for one last time. And
then she was gone forever.
Teal'c
was
there, standing beside them. He had done it.
"I
am
sorry, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c told him.
Teal'c
had
done the right thing. Daniel knew that. Sha're had told him to
forgive Teal'c. But how could he? How could he forgive, when she was
gone forever, even though they could've saved her?
What
did it
matter if she might've killed Daniel first, if they could've saved
her? Why should he live, when she was dead?
"Teal'c--why?
It wasn't the only way," he whispered. "I can't forgive...
It wasn't right."
Daniel
bolted
up in his bed, breathing fast.
That
wasn't
what he'd said. He'd said what he had wanted to say, what she had
wanted him to say.
He
didn't
really think what he'd said in that dream, in that nightmare. He
couldn't. Teal'c was hurt. Teal'c might die, too. Teal'c had done the
right thing. He had to forgive Teal'c.
The
doubt, the
uncertainty, had remained in his mind. Jackson had brought it to the
surface, made it awfully clear. He'd asked if Daniel really believed
Teal'c had had no choice. And now, the thought wouldn't let him go.
He
couldn't
sleep. He'd slept a few hours already, and that was enough.
He
got up and
dressed, and headed to his lab. He had plenty of unfinished work from
a dozen different worlds waiting for him there. He could mercifully
forget all this when he got into an interesting new translation.
He
was waiting
for the elevator, when the world suddenly stopped making sense.
All
of a
sudden, a pain unlike anything he'd ever known engulfed him. It felt
like he was going to implode, fall apart, cell by cell, until nothing
at all remained. He felt the convulsions gripping his body, fell to
his knees, and then down to the floor, hitting his head to the wall.
It
was gone as
fast as it came, leaving him gasping on the floor, shocked.
He
heard the
elevator doors open, and then a slightly blurred, definitely worried
Sam appeared in his field of vision.
"Daniel?
You all right? What happened?"
"I--I
guess so, now--I've no idea. I just, suddenly... Everything fell
apart--it really hurt... Like nothing I've ever felt..." with
all his linguistic competence, he could hardly put together one
proper sentence.
The
look on
her face suggested that she had an idea, but she didn't like it at
all.
"Come
on,
we'd better get you to the infirmary," she said, and
half-dragged him to the elevator.
He
was feeling
a lot better already. He stayed up, leaning on the wall. He had the
nagging feeling that he should know what was going on, but he didn't.
He didn't think he'd been attacked. If someone had weapons that felt
that bad, they wouldn't go at Teal'c with a bread knife.
"Sam?
You've got an idea, right?"
"Yeah,
but it makes no sense. I don't know how it could be possible--I mean,
theoretically, it's plausible that you'd feel it too, but not before
him..." she mumbled.
Vague
as that
was, it was enough. He'd figured it out too, now.
"Entropic
cascade failure," he said aloud. "I'm getting it too."
"Jackson
said that ECF is nearly impossible to predict, and that though
they've studied the mirror more than we, they haven't been able to
come up with a working theory on it," Sam explained. "I
guess his universe just really is very similar to ours. All too
similar."
6.
Sha're
was
standing in front of him, smiling at him, as beautiful as ever, the
most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
Though
he was
chained to the wall and unable to move, Daniel smiled back at her.
Her
eyes
flashed. Glowed. Her smile changed, twisted into a wicked grin. Her
face remained beautiful, but the beauty behind it, that of her
spirit, her soul, it faded away. She wasn't Sha're, she was Amaunet.
A Goa'uld. She laughed at his soft, weak, human feelings.
"My
sweet
Daniel," she whispered poisonously, and ran a finger along his
cheek, her sharp nail scraping his skin.
He
tried to
pull away, but he had nowhere to go. He tried to keep his weight on
his feet, so his aching wrists wouldn't have to take it all.
"And
what
should it be today?" she asked, and seemingly out of nowhere, a
small dagger emerged in her hand. She toyed with it for a while, and
then slid it to his neck. He could feel his pulse racing against the
cool blade.
"But
no.
It will not do, when I do not have a sarcophagus here at hand,"
she decided, and pulled it away.
Instead,
she
lifted her other hand. The one wearing that awfully familiar hand
device. She caught him in the glowing beam once again. He felt his
knees give in, and the pain in his wrists blazed again when he was
left hanging from them.
Just
when he
thought he was going to pass out, it was all over in a flash. Amaunet
went down, a dark stain spreading slowly on her chest.
He
couldn't
see her face properly, but he saw how the glow of her eyes went off
once and for all. Amaunet died, and for a passing moment, he could
see Sha're's spirit reflected in her eyes again. And then she was
gone forever.
Behind
her
stood Teal'c, a staff weapon still held in his hands.
Tealc
had shot
her. He had killed Sha're. Daniel had had a hard time trying to learn
to trust the Jaffa, and to forgive him for letting Apophis take
Sha're in the first place. Now, Teal'c had again proved that he
couldn't be trusted. Daniel would never trust him. He would never
consider him a friend. He wasn't a friend, he was the enemy.
Daniel
had the
foreboding feeling that the seemingly endless torture and its
unexpected, horrible end had pushed him over an edge. Where, exactly,
and what it would mean, he couldn't tell, but it was frightening.
In
a blink,
they were no longer in Amaunet's stone-walled chamber. They were in
the forest, on the dark side of P3X-797. They were surrounded, the
Touched were everywhere around. Teal'c turned his back to Daniel and
started firing.
This
was it.
Daniel knew it. He had been toying with the idea for almost a month,
and now, the urge was too strong. He couldn't resist it. He might
never get such an opportunity again. He'd have to act quickly. He
made the decision in a fleeting moment.
He
grabbed his
standard issue knife and leaped towards Teal'c. He aimed for the
lower back, hoping to get the symbiote on the first try.
Teal'c
dropped
his gun and fell to his knees. Daniel pulled the knife out and lunged
again, higher up this time. First, eliminate the symbiote, and then
stab him in the heart. Should kill for certain.
The
Touched
were too near now, about to grab them both, and Daniel went on with
his plan. He wrenched the knife out again, and took hold of the
blade, offering the hilt to one of the primitives. Let them take it.
Let them do whatever with it. And let them put their fingerprints all
over it, so no one could ever suspect Daniel.
When
they
grabbed him and started dragging him away to who knew where, he
didn't resist. He didn't want to die, but he wasn't sure if he wanted
them to let him live, either.
He
saw a few
of them move in and nudge Teal'c. Teal'c stayed very still.
God,
he had
killed Teal'c. But that was what he had wanted to do all along. He
had seen it coming since the moment he'd looked at Teal'c, standing
there at the doorway with that staff weapon, with Sha're lying dead
on the ground.
Daniel
bolted
up in his bed, panting.
The
doubt, the
nagging voice of his conscience, it just wouldn't leave him alone. It
told him that he shouldn't have done it. But what was done, was done,
and he just had to live with it. Besides, he wouldn't need to go on.
He could end it here, in this universe. He would do that. He only
needed to take one more life, and then he would never do it again. He
would do that today, and then everything would be all right again.
Daniel
was
already closing his jacket and getting off the table when Jack
reached the infirmary.
"Physically,
there's nothing wrong with him, except that he's clearly upset,"
Janet was telling Sam.
"Nothing
wrong except that this thing's going to happen again, and get worse,
as long as there's two of me in this universe," Daniel remarked
sourly.
"I
wonder
if Jackson's being entirely honest with us. I mean, it seems highly
unlikely that it'd hit Daniel first. Maybe he just doesn't want us to
know," Sam said.
"I
wouldn't put that past him," Daniel replied. "I might... He
might do that. Just to keep everyone else from worrying too much."
Jack
grimaced
at that. Sure, it did sound like stubborn, Daniel-like behavior.
Don't upset the others. Don't add to their troubles. Just suffer
silently, all on your own. Wasn't that what Daniel had been trying to
do all along, when he'd completely refused to talk about his feelings
and thoughts over Sha're's death?
"Or
maybe
he just hates my infirmary," Janet suggested. "I wouldn't
put that past either of you two."
"If
I've
ever said anything to offend you, Janet..."
"No,
no,
I understand it perfectly well. No need to apologize. So, I think I'm
going to need to make a house call on Jackson, if he's so reluctant
to come here."
"You
won't find anything," Sam was being the pessimist-realist once
again. That was one side of her that Jack could do without. "The
ECF seizures don't leave any permanent marks, do they?"
"Aside
from overwhelming systemic stress when it gets worse, not really,"
Janet shrugged. "But the least I can do is check that he hasn't
accidentally torn any of those stitches open."
"Take
a
few guards with you, will ya," Jack told her.
He
couldn't
get past the idea that Jackson might have some other reasons for not
telling them whether he was suffering of ECF or not. He'd not have
another person attacked, if he could do anything to prevent it.
As
she left
the room, the three relatively unharmed members of SG-1 walked over
to visit the fourth, again. Teal'c still showed no signs of coming
to.
"Janet
actually said it looks like the symbiote's about to wake up,"
Sam noted. "And when it does, that means Teal'c's going to heal
a lot faster, and then he'll come around soon, too."
"And
I
really hope he can tell us something about what happened," Jack
added, and placed a hand on the unconscious Jaffa's head. "Come
on, T. We could use your help here."
Jack
heard
Daniel breathe in sharply, and looked at him, concerned. But
apparently it wasn't another bout of ECF, just a wave of complex
emotions. Daniel was blinking fast, like trying to fight away tears,
and his mouth was a thin line.
"I'll
be
in my lab... Let me know when there's any news," Daniel said
tonelessly, and walked away.
Jack
was about
to follow him and give him a few pieces of advice, when the gate
activation alert sounded.
"It's
got
to be the Tok'ra," Sam said. "And not a minute too early."
Sam
had been
hoping she'd meet her dad again, but he wasn't among the three Tok'ra
who came through the gate. Instead, Martouf was there, and two others
she didn't recognize right away, a middle-aged woman and a young man.
"Samantha.
Colonel O'Neill. Good to see you both. I'm afraid Selmak and Jacob
are away on a very important mission, so we could not contact them.
However, the two I've brought with me are among the most experienced
of the Tok'ra when it comes to matters of technology. They are called
Thea-" he pointed at the woman, who nodded "-and Nahet,"
he gestured at the young man.
"Pleased
to meet you," she greeted them. "Can we start right away?
We're in a bit of a hurry here. The presence of two Daniels in our
reality is causing a temporal disturbance that hurts them both."
"So
soon
already? That is interesting," Thea commented right away. "How
does it manifest, exactly?"
"I'll
explain it all in a while. Please, let's get going," Sam hurried
them, and started leading the way towards the lab with the mirror.
She
saw the
Colonel raise his eyebrows and nod. Just go on, hurry up, and don't
spare them one bit, he was telling her.
She
certainly
made them work as hard as they could, and did the same herself. The
unhappy truth was, they were just as much at a loss with the mirror's
technology as she was. They had to start from what Sam and the Area
51 scientists had managed to gather, and try to work their way up
from there.
The
Tok'ra did
bring one all-important advantage. Though they didn't really
understand how the mirror worked, many of its components were
familiar to them. They had even brought some spare parts with them,
based on the knowledge Sam had given them in advance, when she'd
first contacted them for help.
They
would get
this thing fixed, but it might take a full day.
"Daniel?"
Jack called from the doorway.
"Yeah...
If it's not good, I don't want to hear it," Daniel snapped at
him. He didn't even bother to look up from his translation.
He
was working
fast, but he didn't think the quality was up to his usual standard.
In a very concrete way. His scribbles were hardly legible. Worse than
a corrupted papyrus in Hieratic Egyptian. And the text he was
producing... Although it did correspond to the original, it certainly
wasn't English.
"It's
good all right. You must've heard the Tok'ra came through? They're
going to fix the mirror in no time."
"That's
good," Daniel nodded. "Anyone tell that to Jackson yet?"
"I'll
stop by to let him know."
"So,
he
didn't kill Janet when she went to check him, after all?" Daniel
asked in a slightly accusing tone. He hadn't liked what Jack had
implied, insisting her to take backup when she went to see to
Jackson.
"He
didn't. I think it was almost the other way around. The Doc wasn't
too happy when she found him bleeding again. He'd broken all her
careful handwork of sewing him together. I can guess she wasn't too
gentle when she redid it," Jack actually sounded like he felt
for Jackson.
Maybe
Jack was
finally getting over all those stupid suspicions. Daniel couldn't
understand why Jack would insist on not trusting Jackson. Actually,
Daniel felt offended about that. It felt like Jack didn't trust him.
Because Jackson was him. Daniel felt closer, more similar to him now
than ever, since they were both suffering from ECF.
"Anything
I can do for you? Get you a cup of coffee?" Jack offered.
"No,
I
think I've still got some that's just... a few hours old, and still
lukewarm..." he turned his attention to the text again, away
from Jack, away from Jackson, away from Teal'c and all the thoughts
and emotions he didn't want to face.
"Just
the
way you love it. Right. I get the clue. I'll leave you alone. Just...
Daniel, please, please let us know if anything's wrong. The Doc's so
going to get you if you don't show up at the infirmary for a check up
every time you've been through one of those... entropic seizure
thingys."
"Sure,
Jack," Daniel mumbled.
He
really
wasn't sure if he would, though. He knew what to expect now, and he
knew he'd recover pretty fast, if the first two times gave any clue.
He hadn't let anyone know of the second one, yet, the convulsions
that had struck him after he'd spent an hour or so alone in his lab.
If Jackson had gotten away with it, Daniel could do that as well. Let
them worry about Jackson, the mirror and Teal'c's attacker first.
Daniel's problem would be solved as well when they'd take care of
those.
7.
"So,
we're getting a little help from the Tok'ra, and Carter's convinced
that they'll have the mirror in working order in less than a day,"
Jack told him from the doorway.
"Really?
That's great. Finally some good news."
Daniel
did his
best to look as relieved and happy about that as was to be expected.
He'd learned a lot, during these last few years. He'd been a lousy
liar before, but now, he could easily fool these overly trusting
people.
Jack
was
probably the most difficult case of them all. Daniel could see that
the Jack and Daniel of this reality were just as close to each other
as he had been to his Jack, so he had every reason to expect that
Jack knew him really well. Jack had been going to and fro from open
concern and friendliness to hostility and doubt. He might prove to be
a problem later on. But probably not. If Daniel played this right,
Jack wouldn't have the slightest doubt.
"Anyway,
you doing all right?" Jack asked.
"Yeah.
Pretty good, considering the circumstances... How's the search,
anyway? Any trace of who or what's after me?" he had to check,
to be sure.
Jack
shook his
head. "Sorry, but no. We've swept the entire base for any signs
of invisible things, and found nothing. The Doc's gone over more than
half of the staff and she's found nothing unusual, either. And even
the Tok'ra didn't have any bright ideas. But I heard the Area 51
security tapes are finally here. I'm on my way to check them out."
This
time,
Daniel couldn't help letting a bit of his real feelings escape and
show on his face. The security tapes... He wasn't exactly sure how
clear they would be, but this was bad. Jack didn't notice anything
off, though, since showing concern and worry over what he'd said made
perfect sense.
"We'll
catch this thing, Jackson. Don't you worry," Jack reassured him.
"I
really
hope so."
And
they
would. Daniel would take care of that. They certainly would.
"In
the
mean time... Just hang on. Anything you need, just ask. Well, within
certain limits. Anything reasonable. Anyway. I'll pop in again when
I've got more good news."
"Thanks."
As
soon as the
door had closed behind Jack, Daniel got up. He'd have to advance
right now. If they'd figure out something from that tape and put him
in the brig, all would be lost.
He
went to the
desk, and opened the first drawer. A notebook. Pens. Paper clips. He
opened the next one. More desk accessories--and among them, scissors.
These
people
really were every bit as stupid as he thought. So quick to trust, so
careless.
Daniel
picked
up the scissors and walked to the bathroom. He gazed at his
reflection in the mirror. That long hair he'd never wanted to change.
It was the way Sha're had first seen it. The way she had loved it.
Now, it would have to go.
He
worked
slowly, taking his time, doing his best to reach a close resemblance
to the style of this reality's Daniel. Luckily the color was about
the same.
Though
he was
no barber, he thought it came out near perfect. He couldn't tell a
difference between his image in the mirror, and his memory of that
other him.
He
left what
remained of his old hair in the sink and on the floor.
Now,
there was
the unpleasant matter of dealing with the guards. He wasn't
particularly looking forward to it. They were just guards. Innocent
people just doing their jobs. So much for taking only one more life.
It might have to be three. But those would be the last, he promised
himself.
Daniel
knocked
on the door, and called, "I could use some help--if one of you
could spare a moment-"
Jack
had told
him to ask for anything reasonable. Asking a guard to help him with
something was definitely reasonable.
Daniel
stood
at the side of the door, where the one coming in wouldn't spot him
instantly.
The
door
opened, and a guard entered. Before he had time to say a thing,
before he could react, Daniel struck him in the neck with the
scissors. The guard went down loudly, his cry for help coming out as
a gurgling yelp. As fast as he could, Daniel knelt and grabbed the
guard's knife. A gun would be better, quicker and more merciful, but
it would be too loud inside these walls.
Just
as Daniel
had expected, the door opened again, and the second guard stepped in.
He wasn't completely stupid--instead of kneeling to check out the
first guard, he turned around to scan the room. But Daniel was
faster. The second guard fell on top of his comrade, the first
guard's knife deep in his chest.
As
much as he
hated to admit it, Daniel was getting awfully good at this.
The
two guards
were still twitching, still gasping, not quite dead. Daniel didn't
mind that. Let them take their time. Let them make a mess. That
wouldn't disturb his plan at all.
He
went to the
closet and got out a clean set of SGC overalls. He'd get more
suitable clothing easily. The most important thing was not to have
any suspicious bloodstains on him.
He
wasn't sure
if the second guard had been smart enough to call for help before
he'd come in. Anyway, he certainly didn't have time to spare. He ran
out of the room.
A
few
corridors away, he could slow down. He wasn't in a hurry anymore.
He
was Daniel
Jackson, and everyone in the SGC knew him.
"Carter?
Aren't you supposed to be working on the mirror?" Jack was
surprised to find her waiting for him in the room with the security
camera tapes.
"Well,
I
figured I could take a short break. Thea and Nahet are trying to
reconstruct some of their spare components so they'll match the
broken mirror parts, and that's going to take a while. I can't do
anything before they're finished."
"Did
you
look at the tape already?"
"No,
I
just got here."
"Let's
see it, then."
The
tape
showed a plain storage room in Area 51, no furniture, just lots of
alien stuff. The inactive quantum mirror stood near to one wall.
Suddenly, it flashed, its surface became mirror-like, and Jackson
emerged through it, one hand on the mirror, the other clutching his
side.
It
wasn't the
clearest of images, it was a bit blurred at best. So, when there was
another flash that engulfed the mirror, and then the mirror went off,
Jack wasn't quite sure where it had come from. Still, he didn't think
it came from the mirror itself.
"Can
we
replay that in slow motion?"
She
was
already on it, rewinding the tape just a bit and then showing it
frame by frame.
Jack
focused
his attention on Jackson's hands. He thought he saw something. Just
the slightest movement of that hand cradling the gunshot wound on his
side. The hand was holding something. It might be the remote for the
mirror. It could also be a zat. Jack could swear it was the source of
that flash that hit the mirror.
"Are
you
seeing what I think I'm seeing?"
"Holy
Hannah... Sir--it looks like he zatted it himself. But why would he
do that? He had to know the mirror would be his only way out if he'd
meet himself and face ECF!"
Jack
frowned.
Yeah, it made no sense. But he had a bad feeling about it. It clearly
said that Jackson hadn't told them the whole story, and he had things
to hide.
"Jackson's
got a few really tough ones to answer..." Jack began, when the
telephone rang. Right at the worst possible moment.
"O'Neill.
This has better be really important," he answered it irritably.
But it was.
"Can't
think of many things more important than this, Colonel," the
reply came in Doctor Fraiser's voice. "Teal'c just woke up, and
he insists you come see him right now."
Jackson
would
have to wait a few more minutes. He was in the VIP room, and well
guarded. He'd not be going anywhere.
Teal'c
couldn't tell how long the darkness had lasted.
When
he found
his way to the light again and woke up in the infirmary, it took him
a while to gather an understanding of what had happened, and why he
was here.
He
remembered
how Jackson had entered his room, asked several questions, most of
which he had found strange. A moment later, Jackson had become
distressed and spoken of a possible intruder. And then, something had
happened, someone had assaulted Teal'c, wounded his prim'ta too fast
and too seriously for him to react at all.
That
span of a
few seconds when the attack had taken place kept playing over in his
mind. He had not seen what had happened. Either Jackson had done
something, or someone had done something to Jackson. The way he had
lurched backwards and then forth reminded Teal'c strongly of
something.
Doctor
Fraiser
had just stopped by his side, when he understood it.
Jackson
had
moved like someone thrusting with a sword--falling back for momentum,
and then lunging forward. Jackson had struck him. There had been no
one else in the room. Jackson's words had been treacherous, and meant
to mislead Teal'c. Either Jackson had been possessed, or then he was
truly nothing like the true Daniel Jackson.
Teal'c
still
did not know how long he had remained unconscious. Others might have
been hurt already, if they had not caught Jackson yet.
He
opened his
eyes and stated loudly, "I must see Colonel O'Neill right now!"
He
saw Doctor
Fraiser start and back away. She had thought he was asleep.
"Teal'c!
You're awake--how are you feeling?"
"It
is
irrelevant. You must inform O'Neill that I have important news."
The
look on
her face was defiant, but she nodded, and walked away.
Teal'c
did not
need to wait long. Soon, both Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter
appeared at his bedside.
"Teal'c!
Great to have you around again!" O'Neill greeted cheerfully.
"Though, the Doc underlined it very strongly that we mustn't
stress you too much. So, stay cool."
"Colonel
O'Neill. I cannot cool down before I hear what has come of Jackson."
"See,
the
mirror was broken, so we haven't been able to send Jackson out. He's
in his room right now, I suppose. I'm going to talk to him soon. He's
so in trouble. We checked the security camera feed from Area 51, and
it showed he's the one who broke the mirror."
"He
is
also the one responsible for my current condition."
"Whoa,
T!
You remember what happened? He attacked you?"
"I
do
remember, and it is quite clear," he assured them. "Have
there been any other attacks? Any other injuries? Daniel Jackson is
not here, but is he nevertheless fine?"
"There've
been no new attacks, but about Daniel, well, that's relative... He
was drowning himself in work in his lab when I last saw him."
"Shouldn't
we call him and tell him Teal'c's awake?" Major Carter
suggested.
"I'll
do
that," Doctor Fraiser replied instantly.
"I'm
going to tell the guards to get that son-of-a-bitch Jackson and drag
his sorry ass to a cell so I can get him..." Colonel O'Neill
spoke.
They
both
stepped away, so Teal'c could not hear their voices anymore, only
that of Major Carter, who was still standing by his side.
"God,
Teal'c, you have no idea how good it feels to hear your voice
again... And this soon, too! When they first brought you in, Janet
couldn't promise us anything... I can't believe that Daniel--that
Jackson could've done this to you..."
"I
believe I was also mistaken about the alternate Daniel Jackson,"
he told her. He didn't know what to say to her open joy of his
recovery.
"I
can't
believe this... Either they're too deep in a game of cards or asleep
on duty, or then..." Teal'c heard Colonel O'Neill's loud
complaint, though he couldn't see O'Neill.
"Daniel's
not answering either," Doctor Fraiser's tone was softer, more
worried than angry.
"I
really
don't like this. Carter--you go check on Jackson. I'm going to see if
Daniel's all right. Maybe he's just not in his office anymore. Doc,
if you could call Hammond and explain him what Teal'c's just told
us."
They
all went
away, and left Teal'c alone. He felt useless again. He wanted to help
them, but he could not. He knew he was still far too weak to get up,
let alone engage in any physical activity.
He
closed his
eyes and began to meditate. He could not reach true kel'no'reem lying
on this bed in this room, but he could still strive for greater
harmony with his symbiote and help his body heal faster, as he waited
for news.
8.
The
other
Daniel had not been in his room, so Daniel had let himself in, and
changed into blue SG-1 BDUs.
Now,
there
would be only one thing left to tell them apart. Those annoying
stitches. They would be a problem at one point or the other, but he
hoped he'd have time to worry about them later. Maybe he could sell a
few priceless artifacts and pay whatever it took to a plastic
surgeon, to get rid of the scars. Or then, he could always arrange an
accident of some kind. An injury. A staff blast to the side would
effectively hide any trace of the two cuts, but he didn't know if
he'd have the guts to do that.
It
had been
bad enough to slash himself with the bread knife, to make it look
like someone had attacked both him and Teal'c. Of course, it had also
been important because it had offered him a very easy way to get rid
of those surgical gloves he'd stolen and used to keep the knife hilt
clean of fingerprints. He's just dropped them on the floor in the
infirmary, and some nurse had probably put them into the trash can
without a second thought.
Yet
another
ECF seizure forced him to stay in Daniel's room for a while. It was
the worst so far, and left him feeling entirely spent. But he had to
hurry, or they'd catch him too soon.
Now,
where
would he be, if he wasn't in his room? Where would the other Daniel
be?
He
might be in
the infirmary, watching over Teal'c. Or anywhere in the base, talking
to Jack or Sam. That wouldn't do. On the other hand, he might just be
in his lab. It was the perfect place to be when he wanted to get his
mind off other things. Just bury himself in work. If he wasn't there
now, he'd probably show up there sooner or later.
Daniel
left
his room, and started following the familiar route through the
corridors.
Sam
saw from
afar that there were no guards at Jackson's door. She ran the last
stretch, and grabbed the handle, but the door was locked. She
knocked, and got no answer.
She
turned and
ran away, to get the key. Whatever had happened, it couldn't be good.
Though she tried to be as fast as she could, she felt like she was
moving in slow motion.
She
got the
door open, barged in, and nearly tripped over the two bodies lying
near the doorway. The guards were dead, lying on top of each other,
blood all over them. She couldn't see Jackson anywhere.
Out
of the two
guards, the one on top had a knife in his chest. The one under
him--Sam had seen death before, far too much of it, but she felt the
bile rising in her throat at the sight. The guard had a pair of
scissors protruding from his neck.
If
Jackson had
done this--and he had. There had been no one else here. Just him. If
he was able to do something as horrid as this, Jackson was nothing
like Daniel. The way he looked, his manners, his voice, they were
just the same, but he must've been lying to them all along about his
feelings. Maybe the accusations against him had really been
justified. Maybe he really had murdered all those people--and still,
maybe he hadn't. He might've just been absolutely desperate to get
out of this room, for some reason she didn't know. Or maybe he had a
Goa'uld in him. She refused to believe that he was simply evil. He
was Daniel, after all.
Sam
left the
guards to search the room for any sign of what Jackson might be up
to. The uniform Jackson had been wearing was on the floor, and it had
blood all over it. She couldn't know if it was all from the guards,
or if some was actually Jackson's.
The
bathroom
door was open. She checked it as well, and found hair littering the
floor and the sink. It took her a while to realize what it had to
mean. Jackson had cut his hair. He'd removed the one thing that
instantly told him and Daniel apart.
Jackson
looked
exactly like Daniel now. He'd have free access to nearly anywhere in
the base. Sam couldn't guess what he'd do with it. She didn't think
he'd be stupid enough to go to the infirmary and try to attack Teal'c
again.
She
ran to the
phone, to call Hammond. They'd have to search the base for anyone
looking like Daniel, and put them in the brig. If they'd catch the
real Daniel as well, he'd understand. They'd have to get Jackson
before more people got killed.
Daniel
didn't
even look up when he heard the door opening again.
"Jack?"
he called out.
"Sorry,
but no," the answer came in a voice just like his own.
He
heard the
door close with a click. Locked. He looked up, and saw Jackson
standing at the door. Daniel couldn't guess why he'd come to visit
him now, let alone why he'd chosen to lock the door.
"Jackson.
What's up?"
There
was
something really odd about the look on Jackson's face. Daniel had
seen that look before, back at the airport, when he'd first met
Jackson. That look he couldn't interpret. Sad and angry in the same
time.
Jackson
raised
his hand. He was holding a pistol.
"I'm...
I'm sorry, Daniel. We... This is going to end here and now."
Daniel
stared
at him in disbelief. He noticed another strange thing about Jackson.
His hair was short. The same as Daniel's. And he was pointing a gun
at Daniel. Why would he do that? How could he...
"Look,
I
really don't want to do this. It was different with the others. They
were, well, they were other people. They didn't understand me. You
do. We're the same. But that's also why it won't be so bad. When
you're gone, I'll remain, and as long as I live, you live as well.
Daniel Jackson will live on."
Daniel
felt
like the floor was falling from under his feet. He couldn't believe
it. He couldn't be hearing what he thought he heard. It couldn't mean
what it had to mean.
"You...
You're... You attacked Teal'c?" he managed to stutter.
"I
wanted
to give that to you before I had to... I knew you'd never have what
it takes to do it yourself, though I'm sure you wanted to. You know
Teal'c's not your friend. He killed Sha're. He deserves to die."
That
wasn't
true. Teal'c was his friend. Teal'c... Although Daniel's feelings
were horribly jumbled, although he was angry at Teal'c, he knew he
shouldn't be. Teal'c was still a friend. One of the most important
people in his life. But if Jackson thought that way, it would mean...
"God--you
killed Teal'c in your universe? And the others--Sam? Janet?"
Daniel stood up behind his desk.
Jackson
waved
the pistol irritably. "Well," he sighed. "I guess I'll
just have to be the evil maniac you think I am and explain it all
before I put my plans in action. Teal'c--it wasn't what you think.
I'm not a murderer. We're not as different as you think. After Sha're
died, I... Nothing ever was the same. I thought that... if I got my
revenge... If I got rid of Teal'c... I thought it would change
things. It would make the pain go away. I thought about it for a
month, and then, all of a sudden, I got the chance to do it, and I
couldn't help myself... And then he was dead."
No,
Daniel
didn't want it to be that way. He didn't want to hear this. Didn't
want it to sound so understandable, so... Could he really have ended
up that way? Could he have become like Jackson? Could he still become
like him?
"But...
the others? If Teal'c was..."
"The
others... There was this woman. I only heard her name later, when
they had somehow put together the evidence--Joan Trent. I met her at
O'Malleys. She looked like her. Like Sha're. But the things she
said... Said that she wondered if a geek like me had ever seen a girl
before... And other things. I guess she was trying to pick me up, in
an annoying way, but she offended her! I couldn't... I couldn't stop
myself. I never meant to kill her. Just... Show her. Tell her to shut
up. And Makepeace... He was NID anyway... And..."
Jackson
looked
every bit as upset as Daniel felt. Jackson was lost in the memories.
In that horrible past Daniel still couldn't believe, let alone
accept. Daniel hated taking advantage of it, but it might offer him
the way out of this situation. Slowly, he took a few steps, edging
closer to Jackson.
"Sam.
Did
you kill her as well? And why? What did she ever do to you?"
"I
never
touched her!" Jackson shouted. "I didn't, I swear I
didn't... But she was... She was getting everything that belonged to
me. Taking over the credit for things we'd done together. And she was
going to take Jack from me. I'd seen them together in alternate
realities. And there were these... hints, these small things, in my
universe, and I was afraid... I couldn't let that happen. Jack wasn't
for her! I had to do something. It was a neat arrangement... In
Hadante... I made a deal with some of the other prisoners. I told
them how to get out, how to activate the gate, the way Sam and Linea
had figured it out, and gave them a working gate address. And in
return, they took care of her for me."
That
made it
clear. Jackson was mad. Twisted beyond what Daniel could imagine.
He'd--he'd killed Sam, because he thought Sam was getting between him
and Jack? That was the most absurd thing Daniel had ever heard.
The
tiniest
trace of doubt still remained in Daniel's mind. He really didn't know
what to think of Jack and Sam being together. It was a weird idea. It
felt wrong to him. Could he... No, he couldn't believe he could ever
have... But this other Daniel was still him, wasn't he? They had
probably done all the same things, been exactly the same all along,
until Sha're had died in that other reality...
Jackson
had
nearly dropped the pistol already. His hand was shaking. Daniel was
almost there, now, just a few steps, and something to distract
Jackson, and he'd get it.
"Janet,
then. You really did stab her, didn't you?"
"She
wasn't my friend either, she... She sent me to that mental ward, she
wouldn't believe me, when I'd got Machello's Goa'uld-killer in me
that made me look like I was mad... She had been faking friendship
for so long! I just regret I didn't get that MacKenzie as well!"
Daniel
was
about to go for the gun, when the phone rang. Jackson jerked out of
it, straightened up, and the pistol steadied in his hand again. It
was awfully near now that Daniel had moved closer to him, and he kept
it trained on Daniel's heart.
"Don't
answer it!"
Daniel
raised
his hands, and didn't move. "So, this is it? You'll kill me, and
go on with the massacre in my reality?"
"No!
No,
no, no! I'm not going to kill anyone ever again. Well, maybe a few
Goa'ulds, but they don't count, do they? No, I'm going to become you.
I'll be good again. I'm not bad, Daniel, you know me--you are me--I'm
not evil! I can change, I can go back to what I was before... I...
No!"
Daniel
felt it
as well, just in time with Jackson's exclamation. The ECF. It struck
them both at the same time, and they were both convulsing,
flickering, quivering, and now that they were both here, the
disturbance was between them as well, the air between them looked
thick, twisted, like smoke in a distorted mirror, and it felt like
they were being pulled together and pushed apart simultaneously...
But
if he
could fight it, just a bit, this could be his one chance...
Daniel
fought
to control his hands, and reached towards Jackson, towards the gun,
he felt his hands close around it, but Jackson's hands were there as
well, and he didn't know where it was pointed. Caught in the seizure,
they fought over it...
The
bang of
the pistol going off was deafening at such close range.
9.
Jack
had just
gotten out of the elevator and started running towards Daniel's lab,
when he heard the unmistakable sound of a gunshot. Though everything
in him screamed that he should run as fast as he ever could, he
slowed down, and went to the first phone he could find.
"O'Neill
here. I need a med team standing by outside Daniel's lab--right now!
Don't come in till I say it's safe."
He
hung up
without waiting for an answer, and ran. As fast as his inevitably
aging knees allowed. Which was pretty fast. He wasn't that old, after
all.
The
door was
locked. Luckily, Jack always kept the key with him. Just in case.
Holding his breath, his heart in his mouth, he opened the door and
stepped in.
Daniel
stood a
few paces away, facing the door, a Beretta grasped in a trembling
hand.
Jack
could
start breathing again. This had to be Daniel. He had short hair. And
if Daniel was standing in front of him, the other man lying on the
floor behind him had to be Jackson. Jack couldn't see him properly,
with Daniel blocking his view.
"Jack?"
Daniel whispered breathlessly, the pistol wavering up and down
alarmingly. "Jack--I killed--Oh God, I killed--me--him--I killed
him..."
"Shhh,
Daniel, it's all right, it's over," Jack reassured him. "Just
put the gun down."
Daniel
nodded,
and crouched very slowly, placing the Beretta on the floor.
"Good,
well done, Danny--are you all right? Are you hurt?"
Daniel
shook
his head. "Jack, he killed them--he killed them all, Teal'c,
Sam, Janet--and he was going to kill me too--And I killed him--am I
really any better than he was?"
"Daniel,
you had no choice," Jack told him firmly, though he had no idea
of what exactly had happened.
Jack
approached him slowly, as if he was some frightened wild animal. Like
a deer, those expressive eyes wide with fear and shock.
Jack
wrapped
his hands tightly around Daniel, who just stood there, rigid.
Looking
over
Daniel's shoulder, Jack saw the man lying on the ground. He was also
Daniel. Short hair. Blue BDUs. Just like the slightly trembling man
he was holding, except that there was a dark stain spreading on the
front of his uniform jacket. His eyes were shut. Jack couldn't tell
if he was alive or not, but even if he was, surely he wouldn't be for
long.
Oh,
please,
no. Don't let that be the real Daniel. Not his Daniel. But--they were
identical--they were the same--how could he tell which was the real
one?
The
cold fear
had such a grip on his innards that he couldn't think straight. There
had to be something...
The
stitches.
Jackson had two rows of stitches in his side. Two fairly new
injuries.
He
released
his hold of the man who looked just like Daniel, and laid a hand on
his side. Jack could feel him flinch, but that could've been just the
unexpected touch--it couldn't mean that-
Suddenly,
the
man flashed into action. Punches and kicks rained on Jack at such
speed and strength that he could never have expected it from
Daniel--it made him remember those horrible moments when Daniel had
been going through sarcophagus withdrawal--but this wasn't Daniel. It
was Jackson.
Jackson
had
the surprise on his side, and Jack felt more shocked, more frozen
than ever, now that he knew the man on the floor had to be Daniel. He
couldn't return the blows. All he could was to try and block them.
Without much success.
He
found
himself pinned against the wall, a knife pressed on his throat--he
couldn't even tell when and where it had come from.
"I
don't
want to do this, Jack--I don't want to kill you--out of all the
people in the world, you're the one I would never want to hurt,"
Jackson spoke wildly. Jack could feel his breath against his face.
"Jack, I don't want to live in a universe without you! Can't
we--can't we make a deal? Your Daniel's gone anyway--But I'm just
like him--I promise, you would never know the difference!"
The
look on
Jackson's face was downright frightening, and not because it was mad.
It wasn't. Despite his words, there was no maniacal grimace on his
face. Just the profound sadness Jack had always seen in his eyes.
"You're
nuts!" Jack grunted, hardly daring to swallow.
He
tried to
move. He'd have to find some way out of Jackson's grip.
Jackson
didn't
even say anything, just looked apologetic, as he increased the
pressure on the knife. Jack felt a sharp pain at his throat as the
blade broke the surface of his skin.
"Come
on,
Jack! I know you--I know you couldn't stand a universe without me,
either--just play along with me! We'll have to destroy the other body
anyway, before the ECF escalates--and then no one will know that the
one who died was the other one--the one who was first--I won't say
'real'! I'm just as real as he is!"
With
his back
against the wall but his eyes facing the room, Jack saw something
Jackson couldn't see. He saw that Daniel--the Real Daniel, since that
was what he was, and would always be to Jack--that Daniel wasn't
dead, he was moving, crawling pathetically, but still, and he had the
Beretta.
Jack
just had
to believe in him. Believe that he could make it. He just needed a
bit more time. A distraction. Jack had to keep Jackson talking, so he
wouldn't hear Daniel approaching.
He'd
just
speak his mind. That would certainly distract Jackson more than
enough.
"Like
hell you are!" he said.
"I
am!
I'm--I'm more than him! I deserve this life! I deserve this reality!
I've suffered, I've endured so much more than he has--My life has
been a living hell for three years--Three years! Ever since Teal'c
killed her-"
"A
hell--of your own making..."
Daniel
was
there, right at Jackson's feet, and Jackson still hadn't noticed a
thing.
Jack
reached
out to give his hand to Daniel.
He
grabbed
Jack's sleeve, and fought his way up, wavering. The hand he'd used to
pull himself up immediately went to clutch at his chest. His face was
so torn with pain that it was hardly recognizable--a horrible
contrast to Jackson's placid sorrow.
Before
Jackson
had time to react, Daniel put the gun barrel against his temple.
"We're--not--the--same!"
Daniel rasped, and pulled the trigger.
It
was amazing
how many thoughts could come and go in one fleeting moment, when one
knew for sure it would be the last.
Daniel
felt
the cold metal on his temple, and heard the other Daniel's strained
words, "We're not the same."
Daniel
still
thought that wasn't true. They were the same. If he had lived the
life that this other Daniel had had, they would be exactly the same.
He believed it, because to believe otherwise would be to accept that
he really was evil, and probably crazy too.
No,
there was
no such thing as absolute good and evil, and he was just the result
of extremely unlucky circumstances. He'd had a difficult life. And
now it would end.
Daniel
did not
want to die. He did not want the other him to die, either.
Now,
they
would both die, and there would be no Daniel Jackson left in this
reality.
Daniel
saw the
irony in the situation. In a way, this other him was doing what he
had always wanted to do himself. What he had thought every time he
had taken a life. The true way out. The thing he had never, ever
dared to do. Because of Jack, he told himself.
Daniel
had
thought about suicide so often, but then he had thought about Jack,
the grief on his face, the disbelief in those dear dark eyes, and he
had not been able to do it.
If
only he had
died as well, three years ago, right there when Sha're had died, he
could've been together with her...
Now,
he would
kill himself. Daniel would kill Daniel.
He
heard the
click of the trigger, so very close, right below his ear.
He
was going
to be with Sha're again.
Finally.
Both
Daniels
collapsed, but this time, Jack knew which was the real one.
Jack
caught
him just before he hit the floor, and held him on his lap, head
resting against his chest.
Daniel
was
still alive. He was barely breathing, just gasping weakly, his ashen
face contorted with pain.
"-'m
not--him... Jack..." he whispered faintly.
"I
know,
Daniel. I know you're not. You're the real one. The one who belongs
here."
He
would stay
here, too, if Jack had anything to say to that.
Jack
glanced
at the wound, and the frozen coldness attacked him in full force
again. He tore Daniel's jacket open, and pulled up the T-shirt
underneath.
It
looked bad.
As bad as it could get. A neat hole in his chest, slightly to the
left. It wasn't bleeding quite as much as Jack would've expected, but
that didn't make it any better. A bullet to the heart, or through the
lung, whichever, it would still kill awfully fast--Jack had seen it
happen far too many times--it was a miracle Daniel was still alive,
still breathing-
-he
wasn't,
not anymore. His eyes had closed, and he had stopped gasping. Jack
placed his fingers on Daniel's neck, moved them about frantically,
hoping he was just too nervous, too clumsy--but he couldn't find a
pulse.
His
world had
just gone from too many Daniels to none at all.
If
Daniel had
a bullet in his chest, let alone through it... Jack didn't think
anything he could do would help a bit. He needed to get help fast-
Oh,
for crying
out loud! What a complete, total fool he was!
If
his slow
thinking would cost Daniel's life, he'd... He'd never forgive
himself. He'd probably end up like Jackson. Nuts.
He'd
completely forgotten that he had called for a med team when he'd been
running towards this room--a lifetime ago, though it couldn't have
been more than just a few minutes--were they here already, waiting
behind the door?
"It's
safe! Get in! Hurry!" he bellowed.
The
door
opened right away, and the medics rushed in, lead by Janet Fraiser.
"Oh,
no,"
she uttered, as she took in the sight of the two Daniels, one in
Jack's arms with a gaping wound in his chest, the other on the floor,
with blood and worse oozing from the hole in his head.
"Forget
about Jackson. This is Daniel, and he's going to make it," Jack
told her.
10.
"It's
scoop and run, people. Grab him and we're off," Doc Fraiser
shouted at her team.
With
that
order, they leaped towards Jack and the limp Daniel on his lap, and
started prying him away. Though Jack desperately wanted them to help
Daniel, wanted them to reverse what looked like a certainly fatal
injury, he still didn't want to let go. Didn't want to let them take
him away. But the medics knew what they were doing, and pulled him
from Jack's grasp.
"Alert
the OR and have Doctor Warner standing by for a possible emergency
thoracotomy," Fraiser told one of her staff as they hurried out
of the room.
Jack
had no
idea what that meant, but the way she said it, it didn't sound good.
He wasn't really thinking about what he was doing, with all his
attention on Daniel, but his feet knew what to do, so he stood up and
followed the medics nevertheless. They set Daniel's awfully
dead-looking body on a gurney and started wheeling him away, towards
the infirmary, with the Doc barking orders at them, and depressing
medical data flying to and fro.
"He's
not
breathing."
"Start
bagging!"
"No
pulse."
"Can't
get a BP."
Jack
wanted to
close his ears from it all. Not breathing and no pulse--as in, dead.
That was it. Dead, gone, at the end of his rope, pushing up
daisies--no, Jack wouldn't believe that. Daniel had been fine just an
hour ago, when Jack had last seen him before this, perfectly,
physically fine. He couldn't be dead.
"I
need
that EKG right now--chest X-ray and echo as soon as we're there!"
One
of the
medics had just started sticking those heart monitor electrode
patches on Daniel's chest, when Daniel started convulsing. Jack
hadn't witnessed ECF striking him before, but he recognized it when
he saw it. It made no sense, though. Wasn't it supposed to end when
one of them was dead? Let alone both of them?
Jack
stopped,
though it meant that the hurrying medical team quickly escaped him.
They were fighting to keep Daniel still now, binding him to the
gurney with restraints.
His
mind felt
sluggish, like glue that refused to come out of its bottle. If there
was still ECF, wouldn't that have to mean that both Daniels were
still alive?
He'd
told the
medics to ignore Jackson. They had left his corpse in Daniel's lab,
waiting for someone to take it away.
Jack
turned
around and ran back to the lab.
The
door was
open, and Jackson was on the floor. Jack couldn't make up if he was
dead or not, but nevertheless, the ECF had him in its grip as well.
It looked really weird, though, worse than with Daniel. The air
around him looked distorted too, as if he was stuck in a bubble where
space and physics weren't behaving like they should.
If
Jackson
wasn't dead, but Daniel was... If, through some miracle, the bullet
had lodged itself in Jackson's skull and hadn't done irreversible
brain damage after all... Jackson had pleaded to Jack that having him
around would be just like having Daniel, so, if they could save
Jackson, maybe he really... Wouldn't any Daniel Jackson be better
than none at all?
No,
Jack
couldn't believe he was actually considering that!
He
picked up
the Beretta from the floor, loaded it and shot at Jackson. Several
times.
It
didn't
change the ECF.
Jack
really
had no idea how ECF worked. But Carter would know. He'd have to ask
Carter.
Jack
had sent
her off to check on Jackson just before he'd run here. Maybe she was
still in that VIP room. Hopefully, she was still there. He picked up
the phone and called her. It seemed to ring for ages, and he was sure
she wasn't there... And all the while, he didn't know what was up
with Daniel... If they'd already given up, decided there was nothing
they could do...
"Carter,"
the familiar voice answered. Hearing it was a huge relief.
"Carter!
This ECF thing! Isn't it supposed to end when they're dead?"
"They're--Oh
God, Daniel's not-"
"I
need
an answer right now," Jack forced himself to sound firm. Keep
the worry and the pain away from his voice. Daniel could well be dead
already. The medics would probably not be able to do much to help him
if they couldn't even keep him still.
"Well,
if--No, sir, that's not exactly how it goes. It's just advanced
physics, so I'd expect it to go on as long as the physical matter of
the person remains. Physics doesn't ask, well, metaphysical
questions. Whether or not there's such a thing as a soul, and whether
or not it's still in the body, that doesn't mean a thing. It's all
about the physical matter."
Jeez--Jack
remembered vaguely something that Jackson had said--about having to
destroy the other body before the ECF "escalates", whatever
he'd meant with that. So, they needed to get rid of the body. That
shouldn't be too hard.
"Get
a
zat. Don't care where from, just get one fast, and meet me at the
elevators."
Jack
braced
himself for whatever, and grabbed Jackson's body.
He
was
instantly caught in one of the strangest feelings he'd ever met. Like
the time everywhere around him had changed into syrup. It was moving
very slowly, except when it fell, like a drop, and then landed
somewhere and froze for a moment. The space, the air around him, his
view of the world, they were twisted as well, stretched and squeezed
in turn.
He
could
barely see where he was going, and carrying a trembling Jackson
didn't make it any easier. He struck the wall next to the door, fell
back, dazed, caught his balance again, and actually found the doorway
on the second try.
He
tried to
run, but it wasn't any good.
He
was too
slow.
Through
the
twirling and twisting time and space around him, he saw a figure in
front of him. In uniform. With blond hair. It had to be Sam. She'd
come up to meet him.
"Shoot!
Carter, shoot!" he yelled at her.
She
was a good
soldier, and obeyed his order without questioning. The familiar pain
of the zat blast hit him. He dropped Jackson involuntarily, and fell
to the floor. But he had to stay conscious. One blast wasn't enough.
Jack
could see
that Jackson was still caught in the ECF. The odd skewing of space
and time reached even further from him now.
"Again!
Three times!"
He
heard the
sound of two quick consecutive blasts.
The
distorted
bubble vanished from in front of him, and so did Jackson. As if he'd
never existed.
Sam
just stood
there, feeling completely stupefied and shocked, trying to catch her
breath.
She
had no
idea what had happened.
She'd
zatted
Daniel three times. Annihilated him. Zatted him out of existence. Or,
someone who looked just like Daniel. It had to be Jackson. It had
surely been Jackson.
She'd
zatted
Colonel O'Neill too, but just once, so the Colonel was lying on the
floor now, looking like he probably felt just like she did, or maybe
a bit worse.
"Sir?
You
all right?" she asked, worried.
"Help
me
up," he answered.
She
offered
him both hands, and pulled him on his feet. He started jogging as
soon as he was up. It looked as if he really wanted to hurry, but
hadn't got enough strength left to run any faster.
"Colonel,
what happened?"
"Long
story short: Jackson killed everyone."
Her
breath
caught in her throat. Everyone--he had killed the guards, and they
had doubted all along that he'd been the one to attack Teal'c, so he
might've killed Teal'c in his own universe, and Sam's counterpart,
and Janet--but that couldn't mean that-
"...Daniel?"
"...and
tried to kill Daniel, but the Doc's got him, but..." Jack
stopped on his tracks. "And they're going to fix it. They've got
to."
"How--what-"
"He
took
a bullet to the chest."
"Oh
my
God..."
"So,
let's run, shall we?"
He
didn't need
to ask twice.
This
time,
when they reached the surprisingly silent infirmary, there was no
nurse to tell them that there were no news. Instead, General Hammond
was there, clearly waiting for them.
"Colonel,
Major--I'm afraid they took him straight to surgery, and Doctor
Fraiser particularly requested that she doesn't want an audience in
the operating room, since this is likely to be... As she said
herself, 'it might get really ugly'."
"Then
he's still--he can't be dead, if they're operating on him, right?"
O'Neill asked.
"Apparently
not. I can't tell. I don't even know how he got injured in the first
place. Actually, I would really appreciate it if someone could
explain to me what the hell is going on in my base."
"I
know
where the story ends, sort of, but the beginning's a bit hazy.
Carter, what was up in the VIP room, anyway?"
"I
would
truly appreciate it if you could explain these things to me as well,"
Teal'c's deep voice reached them from the other end of the room.
She
had nearly
forgotten that he was here--as had the others--the thought that
Daniel might be dead had been so overwhelming. They all walked over
to Teal'c's bedside.
"I
only
heard of a grave medical emergency, which caused many of the
personnel to leave this room and head elsewhere," Teal'c told
them.
Sam
nodded,
trying to collect her thoughts enough to put together an explanation
of what she'd seen. "I went to the VIP room, and found that both
guards were dead. Stabbed. I also found out that Jackson had cut his
hair, so he'd look just like Daniel."
"He
did
look just like Daniel--I hate to admit, but he really had me there,
for a while," Jack picked up the story from her.
"By
the
time I got to Daniel's lab, he'd already shot him," he fell
silent for a while, and put a hand over his heart. "Shot him
right here. The son-of-a-bitch. The bastard. He attacked me, too,
and--well, I'll be honest, he had me pinned. Either he had better
hand-to-hand combat skills than our Daniel, or then Daniel's really
hiding his true talent from us. But it was Daniel who really got him
in the end. Put a bullet in his brain. That served him right."
"But
that
didn't stop the ECF, right? And it was threatening to kill--well, to
stop them from healing Daniel? That's why we zatted Jackson three
times?" Sam checked she'd really figured it out correctly.
Jack
nodded.
"That's one good reason for it... I could think of others, too.
Like, the man was a serial killer. Hell, he tried to kill Teal'c and
Daniel. He had it coming."
He'd
been a
serial killer, he had tried to kill two of her team--and still, he
had been Daniel. It was a paradox she still couldn't grasp. Just like
the idea that Daniel was fighting for his life now. Though she'd
heard it repeatedly from the Colonel, she couldn't picture it in her
mind, couldn't believe it, since she hadn't seen it with her own
eyes.
Thinking
of
Jackson, another thought crossed her mind. The mirror. They'd been
fixing the mirror with the Tok'ra, and the Tok'ra could use a Goa'uld
healing device, far better than she could. Maybe they could help
Daniel. She'd have to go and fetch them here.
"I'm
going to ask the Tok'ra-"
General
Hammond bowed his head at her words, and shook it slightly. "I'm
afraid you can't. They received an urgent communication from their
High Council, asking them to return as soon as possible. Soon after
that, I learned from you that Jackson was not what he appeared, so we
would certainly not want to help him escape. So, I told the Tok'ra
that we did not need their help anymore, and they could leave right
away. They've left already."
That
made it
her fault, in a way--if she had just known that Daniel had been shot
before she'd called Hammond from the VIP room--if he had already been
shot by that time. But there was no way she could've known... Still,
it made her feel guilty.
"No--but--we
can call them back-"
"We
can
and we will, but--and I don't want to sound depressing, Major--but
I'm not sure whether it will make a difference anymore."
She
knew that
was true, but they'd have to try, at least. She could go and get the
healing device herself, but she didn't know if she'd be able to--and
besides, she didn't know what was going on, exactly. If Daniel had
any chance at all. If anything less than a sarcophagus could still
save him.
"I
shall
go and contact them myself. Just so you know, I'm going to need a
full debriefing from all of you about the events of the last day or
so," Hammond told them. "But you needn't hurry with it."
"Well,
that's good, sir, since, with all due respect--I'm not going to do a
damn thing until I know Daniel's going to make it," O'Neill said
the very thing Sam had been thinking.
They
got a
pair of chairs and sat down next to Teal'c.
11.
Oddly
enough,
Sam found herself growing more hopeful as time passed. As long as the
medics kept going, there was hope. They'd stop if there was none.
Still, at times, she couldn't help imagining all kinds of horrible
scenarios, with Janet spending countless minutes trying to
resuscitate a certainly dead Daniel, giving an electric shock after
another, administering all the drugs she could think of, just because
she didn't want to give up.
"Anyway,
Carter..." Jack began after a long silence, as if continuing
something he'd said before.
"Hm?"
"This
ECF--now that it's not going to bother us anymore... Jackson said
something about it 'escalating' if we didn't destroy the other body.
What do you think? Was he just telling stories again?"
"Well,
no, surely it has to end somewhere. I don't know if anyone knows
where, exactly. It might have catastrophic consequences. Major
spatio-temporal disturbance. Dimensional collapse. Or then, it
might've just ended with Jackson disappearing as if he never existed.
The physics of alternate universe travel are still far beyond our
understanding."
"So,
good
thing we didn't wait and see."
"Mm-hm."
She
really
hadn't got anything else to say to that. It was extremely
interesting, of course, just not right now.
Hammond
hadn't
showed up again after he'd left. They'd heard no news of the Tok'ra.
If they'd been called back on something important, then just getting
through to them might prove difficult.
"What
will become of the quantum mirror?" Teal'c changed the subject.
"Don't
think anyone knows," Jack answered him. "Hammond's probably
going to say, once again, that we should get rid of it, and this
time, I'm not sure I'll protest."
"Sir--No,
we can't destroy it! The technology and the insight into physics that
it offers..."
She
fell
silent again at the sound of an opening door. It was Janet.
If
she was
here, and not working anymore, did that mean that Daniel... That it
was all over? Or could it mean that she had good news?
She
approached
them, walking slowly. Her expression was impossible to read. She had
changed her clothes already, because she was wearing a spotless
uniform. No Daniel's blood anywhere to be seen. But she looked
exhausted, and dazed, as if she wasn't sure where she was and what
she was doing.
Sam
got off
her chair, and offered it to her. She fell on it heavily, blinking
fast, as if fighting off tears.
"Doc?"
Jack asked, the desperate need to know so clear in his voice.
Janet
shook
her head, and finally opened her mouth, but what she got out didn't
make much sense. "Please, don't get me wrong... I'm...
He's--It's... His-"
"Janet?
Everything all right?" Sam asked, and put an arm around her
shoulders.
"Yes,
yes, everything's fine, Sam, at least at the moment, mostly... I'm
sorry, I'm just so tired, and still having a hard time with this
myself..."
She
took a
deep breath, regaining some of her usual composure. "Daniel's
alive. He's stable, at the moment. But he's got a bullet in his
heart."
Sam
frowned,
wondering whether she'd heard that one correctly.
"You're
kidding, right?" O'Neill said instantly. "That's not
possible, is it?" he glanced at Sam for confirmation.
She
just
raised her eyebrows and shrugged. She didn't think so, but she was
pretty sure Janet wouldn't be kidding when it came to their friend's
life.
"It's
quite possible, though it's amazing--the whole thing, the
surgery--I've never taken part in such an amazing rescue, not in my
entire career, and from the medical point of view, such cases are
rare. I've got to say, Daniel Jackson is one extremely lucky man.
There were so many things that could've went wrong, or things that
could've been just slightly different, and he would've died before we
ever got to him."
"So--what's
up with him, really? Honestly?" O'Neill asked again.
"It's
a
long story, with a lot of medical data, Colonel."
His
answer
caught Sam by surprise. "Just try me," he said.
"I
don't
know if you noticed, Colonel, but the bullet hit his forearm before
it entered his chest--just grazed it, and made a hole in his sleeve.
But it was important, because it slowed down the bullet
significantly, which was one lucky detail--the shot came from a
pretty close range, right?"
"Can't
say. I didn't see it. None of us did. Daniel's the only one who might
know."
"Nevertheless,
it was slowed down, and then hit his chest, going straight into his
heart. Now, if it had been a clear, point-blank shot, it would've
probably gone all the way through, which would certainly have caused
irreparable cardiac damage. Instead, it lodged in there. Still, the
hemorrhage--the bleeding that it caused, would have killed him
quickly, without one other lucky thing."
"I
would
not utilize the word lucky in this context," Teal'c noted.
"Anything that stopped Daniel from bleeding to death is definitely lucky, T."
"I'd say so, too. But this so-called lucky thing actually very nearly killed
him. It's what caused the cardiac arrest he was in when we got him. A thing called cardiac tamponade. It happens when the pericardium--that is, a..."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," O'Neill stopped her explanation short. It seemed like he had already heard enough, or maybe a bit more than that. "You've got it fixed, then?"
"Well, yes, in a way, as I said. The ECF nearly prevented us from doing anything at all--so, whatever you did to stop it certainly was one of the things that saved his life."
"I zatted Jackson out of existence. I'm still not proud of it," Sam told her.
"But, you've got it fixed, right?" O'Neill repeated.
"Colonel, I'm getting there. I told you it's a long story. So, we were able to get his heart started again, but it was a temporary relief at best, because it wouldn't be much good unless we got the wound fixed. We had to open up his chest and..." she shook her head, and gazed at her hand, flexing her fingers, frowning. "If you know what we have to do when the patient's on the table with his chest opened, and he arrests--But never mind the gory details. My point being, we were able to fix the wound, but getting the bullet out would've been a lot more difficult, and we decided not to risk it."
"...and he'll be all right? With that bullet in there?"
Janet grimaced. "Well. That's a question I can't answer with any
certainty. This is far from my specialization, and Doctor Warner's as
well. We need an experienced cardiologist here. We've already asked
for one, so we can get an opinion on what to do with it. As I said
earlier, Daniel seems stable for now, but as long as the bullet stays
there, we can't count on that. It could embolize--start moving
around--or cause an infection, or more cardiac damage, not to mention
other possible complications, like arrythmias... We'll probably have
to get it out as soon as we can. Until then... There's nothing to
keep you from visiting him."
"And you took this long to tell us that?" O'Neill complained, and got up
right away. Sam followed him.
It
was just
the two of them now, Daniel lying still and lifeless in his bed, and
Jack sitting by his side, absently stroking his hair.
Janet
had let
Teal'c out of bed for long enough that he'd gotten a moment with
Daniel, but he'd had to get back already. Sam had stayed for a good
while, but then she'd decided to go and ask if the Tok'ra had been
reached yet. She seemed to take that really personally, somehow, and
she was really anxious to get them here. He didn't really share those
thoughts. The Tok'ra had snakes in their heads, and they were
suspicious, would always be. They only helped when it served their
own interests. He trusted Janet. Trusted her with his life, and
Daniel's.
Jack
gazed at
the hypnotic series of sharp peaks, valleys and hills making their
way across the heart monitor screen, accompanied by that annoying but
reassuringly steady beeping sound. He didn't think it was any
different from what he'd usually see and hear when someone was badly
hurt and caught in the infirmary. No signs of a bullet in there.
He'd
just have
to believe it existed, as weird as it was. Not that he didn't have
proof, though. The illuminated wall across the room held a series of
pictures--X-rays and other things that Jack couldn't name, let alone
figure out what, exactly, they showed. Janet, or some other medic,
had been helpful enough to draw a circle around the bullet in each
image.
She'd
called
Daniel lucky. Jack thought that wasn't the whole truth. He was sure
that Daniel was still alive because he had decided he wanted to live.
Despite the fact that he'd been so indifferent, so depressed and lost
with the loss of Sha're, he wouldn't just give up. He was a survivor.
"You're
one hell of a fighter, Danny. Way better than Jackson."
In
a way,
there was something really metaphorical about what had happened.
Poetical, almost. Jackson had shot Daniel in the heart, which was the
most vulnerable part of him, not just physically, but figuratively as
well. The best part of him. Shot him with the bullet, and the thought
that, deep down, they might be the same. And Daniel had shot Jackson
in the head. The other best part of him. All that Jackson had had
left, since he'd probably lost what little remained of his heart a
long time ago. If not with the death of Sha're three years ago, then
soon after that. If he'd really killed Teal'c.
But
Jackson
was gone now, for good. All that remained were a load of bad
memories, and that goddamn bullet. Janet would get it out. They'd
help Daniel have his heart healed in both the physical and the
figurative sense.
Daniel's
consciousness had fallen apart, shattered into a thousand tiny
fragments, flashes of memories and feelings that he couldn't
understand or arrange.
Bright
blue
eyes locked with his, sadness and regret etched in the lines around
them. His eyes. Jackson's eyes. Were his eyes really that big and
bright?
The
sound of
the pistol going off. So loud it hurt his ears. Right in front of
him.
Incredible
pain in his chest. Was that in the past, or in the present? He could
feel it all the time, but there were other flashes, other feelings...
Something
stinging his forearm, and then tearing through his chest--into his
heart, he thought, but it couldn't be, because then he would be dead,
and he wasn't.
Jack,
speaking
softly but sharply, angry, challenging.
The
unmistakable scent of the infirmary. Too clean and sterile.
Jackson
attacking Jack, his hands and feet flailing wildly, pushing him
against the wall. The knife in his hand.
The
agony,
worse than ever before, blazing when he crawled forward on the floor,
painting a red trail on it, the fingers of one hand cramped around
the pistol.
Jack,
speaking
softly, kindly, sadly.
Sick,
dizzy,
suffocating, hurting, his hand clutching the bullet wound in his
chest, his heart hammering desperately beneath it. His other hand
holding the pistol against Jackson's head.
The
sounds of
the infirmary, beeping, hissing, soft but clear, constantly there.
His
own voice
telling Jackson that they weren't the same. They weren't. They looked
the same, but they were different. Jackson was a murderer. They
couldn't be the same.
The
bang of
the pistol again. So near.
Jack
holding
him, speaking again, such a soothing voice.
He
wasn't like
Jackson. He belonged here.
He
would fight
it, the pain, the nightmarish words Jackson had said, about having
killed them all... If he'd just give in, he might find Sha're again,
but he wouldn't do that.
He
would fight
because of his friends. Jack, Sam and Teal'c. His family. He needed
them, and they needed him. He knew that. That was why he wasn't like
Jackson, and never would be.
12.
Teal'c
had
spent enough time in bed, thinking, meditating. His health had
improved quickly since his symbiote was nearly in full health again,
and it had suffered far more than his actual body.
He
got off his
bed and stood up. His feet were steady. He lacked some strength, but
it was not the strength of the body that he needed now. It was that
of the mind. He needed to trust in Doctor Fraiser's skills, and to
believe that Daniel Jackson would be well again.
He
had not
even reached the door, when Doctor Fraiser appeared, shaking her
finger at him.
"Just
wait a moment, there."
"I
am
nearly fully healed, and I insist you allow me to continue as
normally. I wish to stay by Daniel Jackson's side as do Colonel
O'Neill and Major Carter."
"I
can't
let you go before checking that you really are as 'fully healed' as
you tell me. Just give me a moment."
Teal'c
nodded,
and backed away to the bed where he had been resting. He waited
placidly for her to finish her examination, as uncomfortable as it
was to have someone prodding at his pouch. It greatly irritated his
prim'ta. Nevertheless, since Doctor Fraiser deemed it necessary, he
did not mind.
She
was nearly
finished, taking off her gloves, when the telephone rang. Teal'c
found the sound ominous. All these events had begun with that one
phone call O'Neill had received, when they had been spending time
peacefully at his apartment, and ever since, he had not heard of one
that would have brought good news.
His
somewhat
unreasonable suspicions were quickly confirmed, as the Doctor picked
it up, and listened for a while.
When
she spoke
in answer, her face carried clear signs of concern. "Damn! Yes,
I'll be there in a sec."
"What
has
occurred, Doctor Fraiser?"
She
shook her
head. "Complications with Daniel. I've got to run. I'm not
clearing you off the infirmary yet, but since you're really looking
surprisingly healthy, I won't complain if you follow me and stay with
him."
She
had not
said what kind of complications, exactly, but since her worry was so
evident, it instantly spread to Teal'c as well. She ran off with such
speed that he had trouble keeping up with it.
As
they
entered the observation-operation room were Daniel Jackson was,
Teal'c thought that perhaps his extreme worry had been premature.
There was only one nurse in the room, together with Colonel O'Neill.
"He
was
awake for a while," O'Neill told them, speaking softly but
intently. "Opened his eyes, just a crack, but he looked at me
when I spoke to him, I'm sure of that. He was there. He saw me, and
then he went back to sleep."
Teal'c
regretted very much that he had not been there to see it. But there
had been speak of complications, and as far as he knew, regaining
consciousness was not one.
Indeed,
it
seemed that Doctor Fraiser was not even listening to O'Neill. She
addressed the nurse instead.
"How
long
since the symptoms started?"
"It's
a
bit hard to say exactly since his body temperature was on the high
side to begin with, but the fever really spiked about five minutes
ago, and he's been getting increasingly tachycardic since then,"
the nurse answered.
Fraiser
nodded, still looking very grave. She moved closer to observe some of
the monitor readings that Teal'c could not understand, and then to
examine her patient.
"I
need
another echo and X-ray, stat--and page Doctor Warner, I want a second
opinion on this."
"What's
going on, Doc? Is it serious?" O'Neill asked.
"Let's
pray it isn't. Looks like an infection, but I can't tell how bad it
is, and what's the exact cause. Hopefully I can say more after a few
more tests."
"Did
you
not request for expert help on this matter?" Teal'c inquired, in
turn.
"We
did,
yes, but we just reached her, and since she's coming from Fort
Detrick, Maryland, it's going to take more than a few hours before
she's here, especially given all the trouble with security clearances
and so on..."
"From
Maryland? For crying out loud, why didn't you just go ahead and call
someone from Paris while you were at it! Aren't there any heart
specialists around in Colorado Springs?"
"Of
course there are, but we're dealing with an unusual case of trauma
here, not some standard heart condition. Any cardiologist might not
know what to do with it. Now, Doctor Carlsen's been in the military
for nearly thirty years, and she has extensive experience on dealing
with cardiac gunshot wounds and their complications. She's the best
there is for this job, and I wouldn't have anyone less than that in
this case."
"Right.
None but the best, I agree with you on that," O'Neill said. He
had placed a hand on Daniel Jackson's shoulder. "Danny's going
to hang on until she gets here--aren't you?"
To
the
surprise of them all, Daniel Jackson suddenly opened his eyes. His
expression was not hard to interpret. His eyebrows were raised, his
eyes wide with fear and anguish. He lifted his hand, very slowly, as
if it was extremely heavy, and placed it on his chest.
Sam
waited at
the far end of the embarkation room, standing on the tips of her
toes, gaze fixed on the open gate. The Tok'ra had answered their
earlier communications in a very negative tone. They'd told that if
this was about one single human only and nothing else than that, then
they could not spare the time. Nevertheless, here they were with an
incoming wormhole and the Tok'ra IDC.
A
solitary
figure emerged from the event horizon, and Hammond could instantly
order the soldiers to lower their weapons. It was Martouf, once
again, just all alone this time.
"Martouf!
I'm so glad you could come," she called out when they approached
each other.
"I
came
against the advice of others. Lantash did not completely agree with
me in this, either. But I know how important Daniel Jackson is, not
only to you, but to the alliance between us, and to our fight against
the System Lords. If there is anything I can do to help, I will. He
must not die."
Sam
gave him a
quick hug. Not all her warm feelings towards him were residual from
Jolinar. Coming here even when everyone told him not to showed that
he really was a good man, caring and compassionate. Or then it was
just because of his feelings for Jolinar. Maybe he had just come
because he reflected his feelings on her and didn't want her to feel
bad... But no, she couldn't take the credit for his return. Whatever
his reasons, she was glad he was here, even though as far as she
knew, Daniel wasn't in any immediate peril.
"The
last
I saw him, it actually didn't look as bad as you might think.
He's--the bullet's stuck inside him, but our Doctor thought it might
not cause any harm if it just stays in its place."
"Your
weapons truly are curious. I have never encountered anything like
this. I doubt whether a healing device will be of much help here.
Lantash tells me that we should just ignore this and turn back, but
let us go and see him, and I'll see what I can do."
When
they
reached the isolation room, she found that she might have been
slightly too optimistic. Doctors Warner and Fraiser were talking in
low, serious voices, and both Teal'c and O'Neill were crouched close
to Daniel at his bedside. She couldn't help noticing that the
ever-present beeping so often heard in the infirmary was a lot faster
than what she'd expect.
"Carter--Marty!
You picked the perfect time to pay us a visit," the Colonel
greeted them. His light, joking tone carried an edge that told he was
just trying to cover his anxiety. "The Docs haven't bothered to
explain a thing to us yet, but Daniel's obviously taken a turn for
the worse. And you just missed him being awake. Not that he could say
anything with that tube in his mouth, though..."
Janet
turned
to look at them as well, putting aside the papers and images she had
been examining. "Martouf. Do you have a healing device of your
own, or should we get the one we've got? Is there anything you can
do? We would really appreciate any help."
That
sounded
bad. Sam didn't think she'd ever heard Janet ask for help like that,
admitting her helplessness so openly. "Janet? I thought you said
he was stable?"
"He
was,
just a while ago. Now, we're facing some serious complications.
Life-threatening. He's showing signs of infection, and his
condition's deteriorating rapidly. Also, from what we can see in the
scans, it looks like the bullet's grown bigger. That suggests there's
blood clotting around it. It might be the cause of the infection.
Even if it's not, it could instantly block a vessel if it started
moving, and there are signs of cardiac trauma that weren't there
before. We need to do something, and fast."
Martouf
had
already produced a healing device and positioned himself next to
Daniel's bed, holding the device over him. Sam placed her hand over
her mouth in anxious anticipation, as the light orange glow of the
device hit his chest.
It
wasn't much
more than a quick flash. Martouf let his hands droop and shook his
head.
"I
can
see the damage, but there really isn't much I can do, since the
source of the trouble is this foreign object within his heart. This,"
he said, lifting the device still in his hand, "This is a
healing device, and not a transporter. I do not have the means to get
this bullet out."
Sam
saw the
Doctors exchange a meaningful glance.
"What
about that cardiologist you..." she started.
Teal'c
answered before she was finished, "It will take many hours
before this expert will arrive."
"And
I'm
very much afraid it'll be too late by then," Janet added. "They
way things look, and I'm just being realistic here, I don't think
he's got that long. So, if Martouf can't do anything, then..."
Doctor
Warner
nodded to her. "I agree. If he's to have any chance of
surviving, we have to act quickly. I just wish we had someone around
with some experience in this kind of operations. Not to mention that
we've got to be really desperate to operate on anyone who's this
unstable..."
"I
know,
I know, but-" Janet had turned to stare intently at the Tok'ra.
"Martouf, if we get the bullet out, then you can help, right?
You could just stand by and wait during the surgery--and if something
should go badly wrong, maybe you could try and help?"
"My
experience in medicine is very limited, and Lantash is still not very
willing to help, but I will be here and do my best."
"Thank
you, that's all we ask," she told him, and then turned her head,
gazing at each of the three conscious members of SG-1 in the eye. "I
won't do this if you're strongly opposed to it, but I think it's the
best, and probably only, chance he's got."
"Do
what?" O'Neill asked, looking confused.
"Since
we're running out of time here, we've got to try and get the bullet
out on our own. It's going to be a very risky operation, but without
it, the prognosis is even worse."
"So,
you
go for it, with Marty backing you up. Sounds good to me."
"I
agree," Teal'c said.
Sam
thought
about it for a while. The idea of Daniel dying at Janet's hands on
the operating table was terrible, but she didn't see any other
options. Janet clearly didn't think they could wait and hope that he
would live until they got the specialist here, and Martouf couldn't
do anything.
So,
she
nodded. "I think you should do it."
"You're
free to proceed as you see best," General Hammond declared from
the door. Sam hadn't even noticed he was in the room.
"All
right. I need the room cleared and cleaned and ready and the patient
prepped for surgery asap. We'd better call Doctor Carlsen and ask if
she has any suggestions on how, exactly, we should go on about this.
You can stay in the observation room above and watch, if you think
you're up to it. I can promise that even if all goes well, this isn't
going to be pretty."
13.
Jack
picked up
a pen from the table and twiddled it absently. He needed to do
something, anything, whatever, or he'd go crazy. They'd been sitting
here a good while already, with the Doctors doing their unimaginably
disgusting stuff--cutting through skin and muscle, wrenching ribs out
of the way, whatever, Jack really didn't want to know the details.
Even if Daniel survived this, he'd get some really magnificent scars,
and healing would certainly take some time.
The
observation room above the OR was far enough that they couldn't
really see a whole lot. The Doc had made the sensible decision that
they'd not be sending any camera feed to them. Jack really agreed
with her on that. He'd seen blood and guts before, all right, but...
No, he really didn't need to see them cutting into Daniel's heart.
The thought alone made him feel sick. Actually seeing it would be way
beyond what he could take.
All
Jack could
see was a room filled with people dressed in green surgical robes,
and in the middle, on the table, a figure covered with the same
fabric. He couldn't even see Daniel's face. All he had was a monitor
showing some very technical medical data, squiggles and numbers.
Numbers, for God's sake. Was that all it came down to? All that was
left of Daniel?
Martouf
was
down there as well, sitting alone in the corner where he wouldn't be
in the way. Though Jack couldn't see his face properly, he figured he
looked a bit green around the gills. Looked like he'd rather be
anywhere else in the universe.
"All
right... Making the cardiac incision," Doctor Warner informed
the team and the anxious audience. As Jack well knew, he was doing
most of the actual work, with Fraiser assisting. He was the surgeon,
after all. More experienced, and still, not a whole lot.
"Looking
good, so far," Fraiser noted.
Jack
didn't
know what looked good. He didn't think anything about the situation
could look good. He turned his head a bit, and saw Carter and Teal'c
sitting next to him.
He
couldn't
remember ever seeing Teal'c look that tense. It looked weird. His
expression was the same, and then again, it wasn't. All the muscles
underneath that dark skin were taut as wire.
Carter,
on the
other hand, didn't even try to hide her horror of what they were
watching. Looked like she wasn't far from tears. Jack wondered if he
should do something about that. Pat her on the back or whatever. He
decided it would probably do no good.
Yeesh.
Warner
was asking for forceps. They were there, and going for the bullet.
This was it.
All
Jack could
see was Warner crouched over the figure on the table.
"There...
I have it..." he announced in a barely audible voice.
"We're
getting PVCs," Fraiser noted.
Jack
really
couldn't understand what the plastic was about--but then, he noticed
what she probably meant. A few freakish shapes among the regular
pattern of that squiggle he took to be the EKG line. He felt his own
heart skip a few beats at that realization.
"I've
got
it. Almost there... Damn!" Warner cursed loudly. "I lost
it."
"It's
getting worse--let it be, we'll just have to close it and try again
when we've found out where it went-"
"No,
it's
still right here, I can feel it--I have it again-"
"Goddammit,
just leave it when she tells you to," Jack muttered under his
breath.
"V-tach!"
Fraiser yelled. Whatever the words meant, the message was clear: 'get
the hell out of there and fast'.
"Yes,
I
can see that!" Warner shouted back, sounding exasperated.
"I'll
get
this bastard out--yes! There!" he declared victoriously, and
backed away. He reached to place that bastard--that damn bullet--on a
tray next to the table.
"Still
in
v-tach," Fraiser uttered.
They
hadn't
had the time to start celebrating, when the alarm they'd all been
fearing went off.
Jack
saw
Fraiser look down and shake her head. "V-fib."
"We've
got to start internal compressions-" Warner began, but Fraiser
just shook her head again.
"There's
too much damage. It's no good."
That
was it?
They'd come all the way here, and now they'd give up? Jack thought he
knew her, and he couldn't believe she'd say that. And she didn't. She
went on,
"But--Martouf!
Martouf, if there's anything you can do, now's the time! Hurry!"
Martouf
leaped
up from his corner and ran to the table, elbowing a few of the staff
out of the way. He stretched his hands above that
green-and-blood-covered figure that was supposed to be Daniel.
Despite the glow of the healing device that quickly lit it, the cold
dread refused to let go of Jack's mind.
He
could feel
the whole room, and the one below, holding their breaths. Everything
was silent except for that relentless alarm.
It
fell silent
as well, for a passing second, when Martouf drew away his hands.
Then, when Jack was sure he'd faint from lack of oxygen, it settled
in that steady beep once again.
"Back
in
sinus! Pulse at 120," Fraser spelled it out in medical terms.
She
couldn't
keep that professional facade for any longer than that. Instead, she
flung herself at Martouf and grabbed him in a hug.
Jack
noticed
he'd broken the pen he'd been fiddling.
He
wanted to
hug Martouf too.
The
vague
shape that was supposed to be Daniel suddenly stopped being so vague.
He bolted up on the table, scattering green fabric and surgical
instruments and whatnot all around the place, adding to the
near-chaos already in the OR.
Before
anyone
got there to stop him, he'd managed to rip that breathing tube thing
out of his mouth.
"Janet--what--the
hell is--going on?" his breathless, raspy voice reached the
observation room.
"It's
all
right, Daniel, just lie down," Fraiser told him soothingly,
trying to push him back.
He
wouldn't
have it. No matter how close to death he'd been, he was as stubborn
as ever. And still, not far from panic, it seemed.
"No,
I--Oh God--Jackson--Jack!" he called out, bloodstained chest
heaving.
Jack
didn't
need to hear more than that. He got up and ran.
He
certainly
broke a few speed records on the way, so when he got there, Daniel
was still sitting up, despite the Docs and nurses fussing all over
and around him.
His
gaze was
darting wildly about, but as soon as Jack got near, it fixed on him.
"Jack!
Jack--you all right?"
"You're
asking me that?" Jack didn't think that made much sense. It
wasn't like he was the one who had got shot.
Daniel
pointed
a hand towards Jack's throat. He placed a hand on it, and felt the
uneven line of the cut traversing it where Jackson had threatened him
with the knife. He had completely forgotten about that. No one else
had noticed, either. It was barely more than a scratch. But Daniel
had went down at the same time as Jackson, and he might not have seen
what had happened, exactly. Whether Jackson had just dropped the
knife, or managed to do something with it.
Jack
couldn't
begin to guess what Daniel remembered of those dreadful minutes when
he'd been in that room with that bullet hole in his chest. Whatever
it was, it probably wasn't nice.
"Nah,
don't worry, Danny, this is nothing, I've done far worse with a razor
on a bad morning."
"Jackson?"
"Jackson's
gone. Forget about him. He got what he deserved."
"...dead?"
"Gone
for
good."
"I
killed
him! So--I'm a... But I'm--he's--not the same-"
"Yeah,
he
was nothing like you," Jack reassured him, placing a hand on his
shivering shoulder. "Just forget about him."
Daniel
nodded,
though his bewildered expression didn't change a bit.
"Teal'c?"
"Well,
you know Junior... T's a lot better already. He's on his feet again.
But I really think you should do as the Doc says and lie down."
"But--there's
nothing wrong with me, really. Not hurting anymore."
"I
wouldn't be quite so quick to say there's nothing wrong with anyone
who's just woken up from open heart surgery," Fraiser put in.
Daniel
fell
silent and gazed at her with wide, disbelieving eyes.
"Just
be
nice and humor the Docs, will ya. They've been having a hard time
with this. As have you. Believe me."
Daniel
shrugged, and finally lay back on the table. Fraiser moved in to
check his vitals, and offered Jack a warm smile as thanks.
"May
I?"
Jack asked, and picked up a cloth from a nearby table, gesturing
vaguely at Daniel's chest. Fraiser nodded.
Since
he
couldn't stand seeing all that blood, he began wiping it off,
slightly concerned about what he might find beneath it.
"Jack?"
Daniel asked, frowning.
"Just
a
moment. Just stay still."
The
blood was
already drying and sticky, and didn't come off that easily. A nurse
came to offer Jack a wet cloth instead. He accepted it thankfully.
Daniel flinched when it touched his skin, but, for once, obeyed
Jack's order and stayed down. It worked a lot better.
"Well,
I'll be damned," he whispered.
All
he saw,
all he found, was perfectly smooth, unmarked skin. No scars. Nothing
at all. Not the slightest sign of all the horrors that had passed.
14.
Daniel
had
been in a whole lot of disturbing situations during his time at the
SGC. Waking up on the operating table, surrounded by people dressed
in surgical clothes and staring at him as if he'd just come back from
the dead, ranked pretty high among them.
Getting
over
the first shock of where he'd found himself took some time. He still
had trouble arranging the memories of his last moments before he'd
passed out. Jack helped him, telling what, exactly, he'd seen when
he'd barged into the room and found Jackson posing as Daniel, and
Daniel lying on the floor, fighting for his life. Told him how he'd
defied all odds, grabbing the pistol and crawling and standing up and
shooting Jackson.
He
really had
done it. He had killed Jackson, just like that. But he'd been so mad
at him, he could remember that. Even through all the pain and the
frightening realization that he was dying, he had heard Jackson's
word. He'd heard how Jackson had told Jack that he would be just like
him. No difference at all. More than anything, Daniel had been afraid
that Jack would accept that. But of course he hadn't, he said. He
would never do that.
Even
if
Jackson might somehow have survived that gunshot through the skull,
it didn't matter anymore. Sam had zatted him away. No trace left that
he had ever existed. Daniel wanted to think that he'd deserved that,
but he couldn't. Still, after what Jackson had done to him and Teal'c
and all the people in his reality, Daniel couldn't think of him as a
completely evil person. Nothing could ever do away with the fact that
they had been the same to begin with. Of course, Jackson could've
been lying about everything when he'd told that he thought the two of
them were the closest match he'd ever seen in any reality, but
somehow, Daniel didn't believe that. He believed that, at some point
in time, they might have been exactly the same. Sometime before
Jackson's timeline had differed and things had gone wrong and he'd
taken that one step that had turned him into what he'd been.
Daniel
saw it
all as a reminder. A warning of what might become, if he wouldn't be
able to cope with Sha're's death. The memory of her felt different
now, more distant. He would learn to live with it. He had friends. He
had his team.
"The
difference between Jackson and me had nothing to do with his
personality or his family history or troubled childhood or whatever.
They were the same. It was all about... You. The three of you,"
Daniel told Jack, Sam and Teal'c, who were gathered around his bed.
It
felt more
than a bit stupid to spend time lying in a bed in the infirmary, when
there really wasn't anything wrong with him, except for a sore throat
from the breathing tube. He still had a hard time trying to believe
what everyone said had happened. That he really had been shot in the
heart and lived to tell the tale, or whatever little he could
remember of it. Janet was still treating him as if he might drop dead
all of a sudden. She wouldn't let him up and out before she got her
expert here. Luckily, she should be arriving any moment now.
"Daniel,
the guy was nuts. Lights were on, but there was no one home. A few
fries short of a happy meal."
"No,
Jack," Daniel shook his head. "He wasn't nuts. He was
alone. Well, he had you, though, I think. I think he and the Jack
O'Neill in his reality were really good friends. But when he... He
killed Teal'c before SG-1 really came to be. He never became friends
with Teal'c. And the team was never the same without Teal'c, so I
guess he never really came to trust Sam like I do, either. He just...
couldn't cope. Couldn't deal with everything that happened. Not
without a family."
"I
appreciate the great value you give to our friendship, Daniel
Jackson, but I find that somewhat difficult to believe."
"Believe
what you will, Teal'c. The most important thing is, I want you to
know, once again and for all, that I really, truly do forgive you.
For killing... For doing what you had to do."
"That
is
good to hear. And I wish you to know that I am deeply sorry for what
happened."
"I
know
you are, Teal'c. Don't worry about it."
Daniel
was
about to get awfully sappy, underlining how good friends and how
important his three team mates were to him, when Janet and her
much-awaited cardiologist made their entrance.
"And
this
is your critical cardiac gunshot wound case?" the woman who had
to be Doctor Carlsen asked incredulously. The first impression Daniel
got from her was that she looked exactly like a strict, old fashioned
teacher. She was in her fifties, and her graying hair was tied in a
bun tight enough to smoothen any wrinkles. She wore half-moon
glasses, peering over them with cold gray eyes, and a skeptical look
on her face.
"Well,
yes," Janet answered. Daniel had rarely hear her sound so wary.
Usually, her authority never wavered, but now, she clearly looked up
to this other Doc. "As I said when I called, there were
complications, really serious ones, and we had no choice but to
operate on our own... It looked really bad for a while, there. We had
to resort to some, well, slightly experimental methods. Luckily
enough, they worked."
Janet
opened
the file she'd been carrying, picked up some papers and pictures from
it, and handed them over to the other Doctor. Daniel could guess that
they were the results of that massive array of tests she'd wanted to
run after he'd woken up. She'd said she had found absolutely nothing
out of the ordinary.
"These
are from before the--the operation, and these are after it," she
added, as an explanation.
Carlsen
took
them and spent a good while staring at them, frowning.
"Slightly
experimental? I'd very much like to see what kind of methods could
lead to such instant results."
"I'm
afraid it's classified," Janet answered apologetically.
"Ah,
yes,
that seems to be the thing about this entire facility. Everything's
so very secret and classified that I'm hardly allowed to see or hear
a thing."
"Anyway...
Now that you're here, you could just as well take a look at him,
right?"
"Yes,
I'd
be very interested to."
Janet
walked
closer to Daniel's bed, and told the rest of SG-1 that, "I'm
afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. This might take a
while."
Jack
nodded,
and got up. "We'll be back soon," he assured Daniel, and
lead the three of them out of the room.
"Doctor
Daniel Jackson, right?" Doctor Carlsen greeted him, her tone
very formal. "I'm Doctor Emma Carlsen. I've been hearing rather
extraordinary things about what has happened to you."
"Yeah,
so
have I," Daniel answered her. "I actually do have an
awfully vivid memory of lying on the floor with a hole in my chest,
but now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with me."
"You
haven't felt anything out of the ordinary after you came to? Chest
pain, shortness of breath, palpitations?"
"I've
felt just fine. My only problem is that Janet refuses to believe
that."
"I'm
quite certain I'll be able to convince her. Now, you could help me by
taking off your shirt."
Janet
had been
standing behind Carlsen, silent, her arms crossed. When Daniel cast a
glance at her, she winked back at him and closed the curtain around
the bed. So, he went on to do as he'd been told, revealing the skin
that Martouf had healed.
He
couldn't
help being a bit amused when he saw Carlsen's reaction to it. Her
eyebrows leaped up, creating a complex net of lines on her forehead
despite her tight hairdo.
"All
right, Janet--what is going on here? This has to be the hugest
practical joke anyone has ever tried to pull on me. Luckily I'm not
the one paying for the plane tickets and the hours of work I've
missed when I've been here on this... this excursion of yours. There
is absolutely no way the wounds could have healed this fast, and
without any scarring at all, no less!"
"I'm
sorry, ma'am, but this certainly isn't a joke of any kind. We really
almost lost him," Janet told her, sounding apologetic. "As
I said, what we did was experimental and highly classified, and I
won't be able to tell you more than that. Now, as far as I can tell,
he's completely healed, but I'm no cardiologist. I'd still like to
hear your opinion."
Doctor
Carlsen
snorted slightly at that, but then shrugged. "Very well. Since
I'm here already, I could just as well examine him."
Daniel
wouldn't have minded if she'd just decided not to believe Janet at
all and left. He didn't particularly enjoy her examination. She spent
a good while tapping and feeling his chest with her cold, skinny
fingers, and then another long while listening with her equally
freezing stethoscope. All the while, Janet just stood there, looking
nervous, leaning her chin against her fist.
Finally,
Carlsen stood back and snorted once again. "Well, whatever has
or hasn't happened to your patient, Janet, there certainly isn't any
trace of it left. There's nothing wrong with him, and I sincerely
doubt if there ever was. I hope you're satisfied now."
"I
am.
You've no idea how good it is to hear that, Doctor--Emma," Janet
said, beaming, and shook Carlsen's hand vigorously. "And I
really appreciate it that you could come, even though you probably
feel like it's been a waste of time."
"Well,
not that I've got anything to complain about. It was rather
refreshing, really. It's been a good while since I've last checked
such a completely healthy heart. Usually, they only give me difficult
cases."
"And
now,
can I go home, Janet?" Daniel asked.
"I'd
still like to keep you under surveillance, at least one full day,
just in case..."
"Janet,
don't be ridiculous. Keeping a perfectly healthy patient confined is
both annoying to them and to the staff, and a waste of time and
money," Carlsen backed him up. He offered her a thankful smile.
"Ah,
all
right, then... But I want you to take it easy for the next few days.
I'd rather not send you home all by yourself... Of course, I think
the rest of SG-1 will be more than happy to keep you company."
Daniel
didn't
doubt that in the least. His team would be there for him, as always.
And unlike a few days ago, when he'd been too lost in his sorrow,
awfully close to becoming like Jackson, now he was actually looking
forward to spending time with them.
15.
Jack
turned to
look at Daniel, and smiled to himself. This was so much like the last
time, and still, completely different.
Daniel
was,
once again, sitting on his sofa next to Carter, watching, what was
it, the fifth episode of the Simpsons in a row.
He
wasn't
laughing a whole lot, but he smiled most of the time, and chuckled
every now and then. All in all, he was like a different person from
the one Jack had seen before the whole ordeal. He was still a bit
more silent than usual, but he looked relaxed, closer to normal. It
was strange that the bunch of really horrible stuff that had happened
had actually made him seem--better. Not worse, like one might've
expected.
Jack
sat down
next to Daniel. "Hey, we could also watch something else... Not
that I'm complaining, though, but, you know..."
"Sure.
Or
we could just try Scrabble, so I could beat you all," Daniel
smirked at him.
"Well,
if
you insist..."
"Nah,
not
really. Though, I think we really could watch something else for a
change. Teal'c?" Daniel called out.
"I
shall
be there momentarily," the familiar, deep voice answered from
the kitchen.
A
few minutes
later, Teal'c emerged, carrying a platter of absolutely
perfect-looking donuts, their chocolate-colored icing sprinkled with
nonpareils.
"This
time, I believe I have succeeded completely," he announced.
"Looks
extra fine, T. Good job," Jack commended him.
Teal'c
set the
platter on the table, and gestured at them to help themselves.
"I
think
we could use something to drink, too," Daniel suggested. "Coke,
anyone? I can get some..."
"No,
just
sit down and let me," Jack instantly stopped him.
They
were
still a bit wary. Fraiser had told that Daniel should take it easy.
So, he'd actually been sitting on the sofa for a good while, with
everyone else doing all the getting up and fetching things that they
needed to do.
This
time, he
had apparently decided he'd had enough of that. "Jack, no. I'll
go, it's fine," he insisted, and stood up.
He'd
barely
taken a few steps when he stopped, wavering.
"Whoa...
Since when was your floor this steep?"
Jack
leaped up
instantly, and Teal'c was already by his side, with an arm around his
shoulders.
"Daniel,
what's wrong? Not feeling all right after all?"
"Just...
A bit dizzy, but I guess it's just that..."
"Right.
You're definitely not going to fetch anyone anything. Back on the
sofa," Jack ordered.
Teal'c
guided
him back, and he didn't even try to resist a whole lot. Carter put
one hand on his forehead, and one on her own, and frowned. "Colonel,
have you got a thermometer? I think he's running a fever."
Jack
was about
to head away to get one, when he heard Daniel start answering, and
had to wait to hear what he had to say.
"Now
that
you mention it, Sam... I'm not feeling all that great. Guess you
might be right."
Teal'c
had,
during the day, had the feeling that Daniel Jackson had been somewhat
silent and withdrawn, but he had not found it unexpected. Now, he
could not help wondering how long he had felt unwell, and simply
tried to hide the fact from the rest of them.
It
was clear
he was experiencing some discomfort. As Colonel O'Neill left to
search his supplies, Major Carter strongly encouraged Daniel Jackson
to lie down on the sofa.
He
had barely
placed his head on the armrest when his face twisted with pain, and
he gasped out. "Ow--No, no, this isn't happening-"
"What
is
not happening, Daniel Jackson?"
He
had crossed
his arms across his chest, which, Teal'c decided, was a very bad
sign. Even though Doctor Fraiser had assured them Daniel Jackson's
injuries had been completely healed, they had all been worried
something like this might come to pass.
"I
just
figured... Figured I was imagining the whole thing..."
"Daniel,
slow down and start at the beginning," Colonel O'Neill's worried
voice entered the conversation. He appeared right behind Daniel
Jackson's head, gave the thermometer to Major Carter, and tossed a
blanket over Daniel.
Daniel
shook
his head. "Chest hurts," he stated simply.
Teal'c
could
build the whole story from that. Daniel Jackson had felt some pain in
his chest earlier during the day, but it might not have been as bad
as now, so he had believed he was only imagining it, possibly because
of what he knew had happened to him before. At the moment, it seemed
quite clear that he had not simply imagined. Something was not quite
right with him.
Despite
O'Neill, who tried to stop him, Daniel sat up on the sofa.
Surprisingly enough, his breathing evened out somewhat, and some of
the lines disappeared from his face.
"Oh,
that's better," he told them.
Colonel
O'Neill did not appear convinced. Instead, he said, "I'm calling
the Doc right now."
As
he went on
to make the call, and Carter began a cursory examination of Daniel
Jackson's condition, Teal'c decided he could make himself useful as
well. He went on to collect several pillows and another blanket, and
used them to prop Daniel into the seated position which he seemed to
favor over lying down.
"I've
got
Doc Fraiser on the line here," O'Neill informed them. "Carter,
anything you can tell her?"
"Daniel's
got a low fever, doesn't look that worrying, but he's obviously
hurting."
O'Neill
nodded, and conveyed the information onwards. "Daniel? The Doc
wants to know if you can describe the pain to her, as accurately as
possible."
"Nasty?"
Daniel suggested, attempting humor, but without much success. "Sharp.
On the left side. Gets worse if I breathe too deep."
A
moment went
by so that O'Neill listened to something Doctor Fraiser said, and
everyone else waited silently.
"Right.
Yes, we will. We'll be there soon," he then finished the call.
"Daniel,
you're going back to the infirmary, right now. Fraiser wants us to
keep a close eye on him on the way. As if we wouldn't do that
anyway."
Sam
was
extremely relieved when they finally reached the SGC. Of course, just
the fact that Janet had asked them to get to the infirmary instead of
going to the nearest hospital suggested that this might not be as
urgent as they thought, but still... Colonel O'Neill had broken all
speed limits on the way. She had spent her time sitting next to
Daniel, taking his pulse every five minutes, even though it really
annoyed him. All the way, she'd found it reassuringly steady, though
too fast to her liking.
Daniel
actually walked to the infirmary on his own two feet, just supported
by Teal'c and the Colonel. He hadn't gotten any worse during the
trip, as far as she could tell. For a while there, she'd been afraid
he was having a heart attack or something, as little sense as it
made. Now, she didn't know what she thought, anymore.
Janet
had had
plenty of time to wait and get worried after their phone call, and
she practically snatched Daniel away from them the moment they got
into the infirmary, offering them scolding looks after seeing him
walk in, instead of being carried.
"I
know,
I know, now, you'll say that you need to ask us to leave, and then we
go reluctantly," O'Neill told her.
"You
read
my mind, Colonel," Janet answered. So, once again, they left
Daniel to Janet's experienced hands.
Daniel
figured
he'd now had enough tests to last for the next ten years or so. If
Janet would ever ask for another EKG or echo done on him, he'd
probably flee as fast as he could.
Not
that he
wasn't anxious and worried about whatever was happening to him,
though. He'd been so sure Martouf had fixed everything completely.
The first hints of pain stabbing in his chest again had made him
think that his imagination was too vivid, or that he was just
reliving the horrible memories in some weird physical way. But then,
slowly but inevitably, it'd grown too strong to ignore.
Janet
had
given him enough painkillers to deal with the worst of it. Now, he
was sitting on an infirmary bed, like so many times before,
surrounded by his team, waiting to hear what she had to say.
"Doc,
please tell me he's all right," Jack pleaded to her.
"I'm
afraid I can't say that. Not exactly. What he's got is a clear,
textbook case of pericarditis. That's an inflammation of..."
"Yeah,
let me guess," Daniel interrupted her. He couldn't keep the
weariness off his voice. All the worried looks he kept getting were
driving him crazy. "It's an inflammation of the pericardium,
right?"
"But...
I
thought Martouf healed everything," Sam uttered. "Should we
contact the Tok'ra again?"
Jack's
words
overlapped hers. He was frowning. "It's not--you can fix it,
right, Doc?"
"Now,
relax, take it easy, everyone," Janet told them all, making
soothing gestures with her hands. "I know it looked a bit
frightening there, and I can't say I wasn't worried when I first
heard about Daniel's symptoms, but it's not as serious as it might
have seemed. Pericarditis isn't unusual as a follow up of recent
cardiac surgery or trauma. And it's quite treatable."
"Great.
How?" Jack asked quickly.
"Aspirin
and bed rest, Colonel. As simple as that."
Well,
that
didn't sound bad, Daniel thought. Except for one thing. "So, I'm
stuck here again?"
"Ah,
that's the question, really..." Janet answered with a wink.
"Now, I'd really like to keep a close eye on you. Just in case,
you know. If I hadn't dispatched you to begin with, I'd have noticed
this sooner. But as it is, I've every reason to trust you'll recover
completely, without any complications... I won't keep you here for
long. One or two days. Actually, I'll let you stay in your quarters,
if you just show up here regularly. But I think these three nurses
here will take care of that for me," she smiled at Teal'c, Sam
and Jack.
"You
betcha," Jack answered. "Haven't you got that Scrabble
board right there, sitting on a shelf in your room, Danny?"
"You
feel
like losing today, Jack?"
"More
than ever."
A
few days
stuck at the SGC with Jack, Sam and Teal'c--that really didn't sound
much worse than a few days stuck at Jack's place with the three of
them. Actually, it sounded pretty good.
Somehow,
Daniel had felt that he'd gotten over it all almost too easily. The
way he'd just suddenly woken up and found that everything was fine.
Then, it had been extremely annoying when no one else had been able
to accept it that he really was all right. A slightly longer
convalescence might not be such a bad thing, after all. It would help
to convince them all, both himself and the others.
Healing
would
always take time. So, if his chest still hurt, it was just like the
memory of Sha're that still pained him, every time he concentrated on
it. He would get over both. He had friends, and they had time.
He'd
really,
truly be fine soon enough. Then they could get into trouble again,
and then fight their way out of it. Like they always did. Together.
Author's Note: All right, I've got to admit I got a bit carried away with the
medical side of the story. I know next to nothing about medicine, so
it's probably nowhere near to anything possible and realistic. At least I
hope it sounded convincing enough.
And I'd really appreciate any feedback. Especially since
this is my first story that's all SG-1, not a crossover. You can reach me at veldeia(a)yahoo.com
DISCLAIMER: The
characters
mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film
Corp. The Stargate, SG-I, the Goa'uld and all other characters who
have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names,
titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA
Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret
Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is
not intended as an infringement upon those rights and
solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea
and the story itself are the sole property of the author.
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