Points To Ponder 1. Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs? 2. Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to? 3. Can fat people go skinny-dipping? 4. Can you be a closet claustrophobic? 5. Can your face actually freeze while making ugly faces? 6. Corn oil is made from corn, Olive oil is made from olives, so what does baby oil come from? 7. Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID? 8. Do blind Eskimos have seeing -eye sled dogs? 9. Do boxer shorts box? 10. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? 11. Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? 12. Do infants have as much fun in the infancy as adults do in their adultery? 13. Do married people live longer than single people do or does it just seem longer? 14. Do radioactive have 18-have lives? 15. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics? 16. Do toilet seats really protect us from anything? 17. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? 18. Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? 19. Do you think the Assassination Museum was created after JFK's assassination? 20. Does a fish get cramps after eating? 21. Does chewing gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight? 22. Does fuzzy logic tickle? 23. Does the little mermaid wear an algaebra? 24. Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? 25. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? 26. How can someone draw a blank? 27. How can someone walk up hill both ways through 32 feet of snow? 28. How can there be self-help groups? 29. How come superman can stop bullets with his chest but he always ducks when someone throw a gun at him? 30. How come you never hear about grunted employees? 31. How come you press harder on a remote when you know the battery is dead? 32. How did a fool and his money get together? 33. How do I set my laser printer on stun gun? 34. How do they get deer to cross at the yellow sign? If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them? 35. How do they get the cream in the Twinkie? 36. How do they unclog mail chutes in skyscrapers? 37. How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes? 38. How do you tell when you are out of invisible ink? 39. How does Kraft get the 5 ounces into every slice of American Singles? 40. How does one actually zip their lip? 41. How does the Cheshire cat only show his smile? 42. How does the guy who runs the snowplow get to work in the morning? 43. How is it possible to have a civil war? 44. How many licks does it really take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 45. How many turtle ears does it take to make one can of turtle wax? 46. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it? 47. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? 48. If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away? 49. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? 50. If a cow laughed would milk come out its nose? 51. If a man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 52. If a mute swears does his mother was his hands with soap? 53. If a parsley farmer is sued can the garnish his wages? 54. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? 55. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it? 56. If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or naked? 57. If blind people wear sunglasses why don't deaf people wear ear muffs? 58. If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight? 59. If it is zero degrees outside today and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? 60. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan? 61. If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest have to drown too? 62. If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? 63. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, than who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"? 64. If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with? 65. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation or a murder? 66. If taught do gorillas really understand sign language? 67. If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2? 68. If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 69. If the entire world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 70. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off? 71. If the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, what is the speed of dark? 72. If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding what is it expanding into? 73. If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box? 74. If trailer parks didn't exist would tornadoes exist? 75. If vegetarians eat vegetables what do humanitarians eat? 76. If white wine goes with fish do white grapes go with sushi? 77. If you are in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens if you turn on your headlights? 78. If you can't drink and drive why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? 79. If you choke a Smurf what color would it turn? 80. If you don't repair your brakes right away should you make your horn louder? 81. If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward wold the taxi driver end up owing you money? 82. If you have an open mind is there a chance your brain might fall out? 83. If you keep trying to prove Murphy's law, will something go wrong? 84. If you throw your pet cat out the window of your car does it bec0me cat litter? 85. If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? 86. If you try to fail and succeed which have you done? 87. IF you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read all right? 88. If your born again do you have two belly buttons? 89. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would the still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure? 90. Is it possible to be totally partial? 91. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? 92. Is laughing stock cattle with a sense of humor? 93. Is the grass really greener on the other side? 94. Is there another word for synonym? 95. Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse? 96. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? 97. Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? 98. Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? 99. Shouldn't there be a shorter word for monosyllabic? 100. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? 101. Sooner or later doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking? 102. Us boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate? 103. War doesn't determine who's right, just whose left. Right? 104. Was the only reason God gave us a shin is to find things in the dark? 105. What are preparations A-G? 106. What causes the holes in Swiss cheese? 107. What do little birdies see if they get knocked unconscious? 108. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? 109. What does Geranimo yell when he jumps out of a plane? 110. What happened to the first 6 "ups"? 111. What happens when none of your bees wax? 112. What is Mother Goose's real first name? 113. What is the funny beep on the radio just before the network news? 114. What is the purpose of that little ball on top of the flagpole? 115. What is the purpose of the red string on Band-Aid brand adhesive packages? 116. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 117. What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? 118. What's another word for thesaurus? 119. When an elevator is overloaded with passengers who is criminally responsible? 120. When companies ship Styrofoam what do they pack it in? 121. When I erase a word with a pencil where does it go? 122. When sign makers go on strike is there anything written on their signs? 123. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away? 124. When your pet birds sees you sitting there reading the newspaper does he wonder why you are staring at the carpeting? 125. Where are the germs that cause good breath? 126. Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all? 127. Where do swear words come from? 128. Where do they get that awful music for ice-skating? 129. Where does the lost sock in the washer and dryer go? 130. Which fruits are in Juicy Fruit? 131. Who don't penguins in Antarctica ever get frostbite? 132. Who killed JFK? 133. Who really took the bite out of the Apple logo? 134. Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have a s in it? 135. Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations if smoking is prohibited there? 136. Why are cows milked from the right side? 137. Why are jeans so hard to fit into? 138. Why are most homes white? 139. Why are movie theatres always so cold? 140. Why are school buses painted yellow? 141. Why are there 5 syllables in the word monosyllabic? 142. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? 143. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? 144. Why are there more brown M&M's than any other color? 145. Why are they called apartments when they are stuck together? 146. Why are they called stands when they are made for sitting? 147. Why are toilet flush handles on the left side? 148. Why are U.S. elections held on Tuesdays? 149. Why aren't there seat belts in buses and taxicabs? 150. Why ask why? Try bud dry. Then again, if Bud's made from water, how can it be dry? 151. Why can't we make newspapers that don't smudge? 152. Why can't you find fresh sardines in a fish market? 153. Why did God give men nipples? 154. Why did kamikaze pilots where helmets? 155. Why did Nabisco eliminate the red string on the wrappers of its Saltine two and four packs? 156. Why do bananas grow upward and all other fruits grow downward? 157. Why do banks charge you a " non sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have? 158. Why do brown eyes see better in the sun than blue eyes? 159. Why do corn flakes and Sugar frosted flakes have the save number of calories per serving? 160. Why do Curad Band-Aids sparkle when you open them? 161. Why do doughnuts have holes? 162. Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? 163. Why do firehouses have Dalmatians? 164. Why do men's bicycles have crossbars? 165. Why do old men wear their pants higher than young men do? 166. Why do old women die their hair blue? 167. Why do other people hear our voices different than we do? 168. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? 169. Why do psychics have to ask for your name? 170. Why do roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? 171. Why do scars never go away? 172. Why do scientists call it research when they are looking for something new? 173. Why do some ranchers put old boots on fence posts? 174. Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting? 175. Why do they call a pear a pear if there is only one? 176. Why do they call it the department of interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? 177. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone is going to clean them? 178. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM? 179. Why do they report power outages on TV? 180. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection? 181. Why do tugboats push their barges? 182. Why do we but a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? 183. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? 184. Why do we have to dry raincoats? 185. Why do we itch? 186. Why do we label underwear as a pair? 187. Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays? 188. Why do we sing "Take Me Out To the Ball Game" if we are already there? 189. Why do we tie shoes to the back of newlywed's cars? 190. Why do we wait until a pig is dead to cure it? 191. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? 192. Why do Wintergreen LifeSavers sparkle in the dark? 193. Why do women wear such uncomfortable shoes? 194. Why do you have a hot water heater when you don't need to heat hot water? 195. Why do you often see a shoe lying on the side of the street? 196. Why do your feet swell on airplanes? 197. Why do your nose run and your feet smell? 198. Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it BEGINS ringing? 199. Why does cleave mean both split apart and stick together? 200. Why does O stand for hug? 201. Why does rootbeer taste flatter than any other cola? 202. Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing? 203. Why does soda taste better in a small bottle than in a large bottle or in a can? 204. Why does the Indiana driver's license include in its list of possible restrictions "B" for "Blind"? 205. Why does the minute hand on school clocks always click backward before advancing? 206. Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it? 207. Why does unscented hairspray smell? 208. Why does X stand for kiss? 209. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? 210. Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is? 211. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 212. Why don't more psychics win the lottery? 213. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 214. Why don't we get dizzy from the world spinning so fast? 215. Why don't we get goosebumps on or face? 216. Why goes glass eventually get thicker towards the bottom? 217. Why in a country with freedom of speech are there phone bills? 218. Why is a black light not black? 219. Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? 220. Why is a keyboard called a keyboard if it just has little buttons? 221. Why is an orange an orange but an apple not a red? 222. Why is everything so big in Texas? 223. Why is it called a building when it's already built? 224. Why is it called a Caesar's salad? Did he invent it? 225. Why is it called a football when you really don't use your feet at all? 226. Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one? 227. Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? 228. Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down? 229. Why is it that when you tell a man that there are 400 billion stars in the sky and he'll believe you, tell him a bench is wet and he has to touch it? 230. Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment but when you transport something by ship it is called cargo? 231. Why is it when a door is open it's ajar but when a jar is open isn't not adoor? 232. Why is it when to planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss? Shouldn't it be called a near hit? 233. Why is jack a nickname for John? 234. Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? 235. Why is the 40% called 80 proof? 236. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? 237. Why is the word abbreviate so long? 238. Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? 239. Why is there only ONE monopolies commission? 240. Why is toilet paper scented? 241. Why is yawning contagious? 242. Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards? 243. Why isn't phonic spelled the way it sounds? 244. Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? 245. Why when you say a color a lot does it start to sound really strange? 246. Will wearing short sleeve shirts show your support for the right to bare arms? 247. Will you die if you get scared half to death twice? 248. Would a fly with out wings be called a walk? 249. You know how most packages say "open here"?What is the protocol if the package says, "open somewhere else"? 250. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? 251. Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? 251. Is the glass half full or half empty? 252. Why do we pay tolls on the freeway? 253. Why do they call them straight jackets when they are never straight? 254. If a person kills their clone is it murder or suicide? 255. What does the Q in Q-tip stand for? 256. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him is he still wrong? 257. Just before someone gets nervous do they experience cocoons in their stomachs? 258. What do you plant to grow a seedless watermelon? 259. Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly? 260. Isn't Big Kid and oxymoron? 261. If I break the laws of Physics do I go to jail? 262. Why do they say new and improved? It can't be new if it was improved can it? 263. How much money, in pennies, is lying on the streets of the world? 264. Why is it that when you see someone in a cast or a brace you say ouch? 265. Why do people look up when they think? 266. If the land is free, why is someone always trying to sell me something? 267. If a vampire can't see himself in a mirror, why is his hair always so neat? 268. If you hire Dr. Kevorkian to assist you with your suicide and you live can you sue him for malpractice? 269. How does Elmo hear? Elmo has no ears? 270. Are people born stupid or do they have to work at it? 271. Do little angels have car seats in their chariots in heaven? 272. If someone with multiple personalities robs a bank who is charged with the crime? 273. If you set to work with a knife that will cut through anything and Tupperware that's guaranteed not to break, what happens? 274. Why do phone companies give you a number to call if your phone doesn't work?