Old Man Oyster Story: Best Submissions
Total Submissions = 2
Best Selected = 2
An old man finds an oyster at the bottom of his back yard pond. He reaches down for it and hears a loud snap, crackle, and pop and then...
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#1:
The three rice crispy guys come out and ask him if he would like to go to a movie. He is immediately perplexed at how these little creeps could hold their breath so long. When they ask him how they held their breath that long they said it’s simple we just stop all necessary respiratory functions and get any oxygen from the air that is necessary for life from breathing through their butt. "Breath through your butt, that’s impossible.", the old man said. "Why is it impossible, just because you’ve never done it it’s impossible?", Snap said to the old man. "Have you ever given birth, or eaten a raw cat, do you think those are impossible things to do?", Pop added. The old man replied, "I’m not a women, I can’t give birth, and cat gives me gas when it’s cooked so I would not want to eat it raw." Then Crackle having listened to the old man long enough shoves his head under the water and the old man begins breathing through his butt. Crackle then pulls him up out of the water and the old man thanks them for showing him that he can breath out of his butt. The then invites the three rice crispy guys to sit through five hours of stimulating lectures with a mime. The rice crispy guys agree to go because they figured that it would be far more exciting then watching a movie. "The only thing that’s playing right now is the Velveeta Underground anyway.", the three rice crispy guys said. Suddenly a giant meteor crashed into the side of a bus that was driving by the pond and in ran right over Crackle. The old man immediately tried to give him CPR using his butt now that he knew he could breath out of it. Snap looked at him funny and said, "Get off of Crackle G before I put a cap in your head Yo!" Pop just shoots at the old man, "That’s sick, you should only use your butt as a turd popsicle machine, for flatulence, breathing under water, a hood ornament, and for a whistle if you’re lost in the woods." Crackle came to and whipped the turd particles from his face. Crackle then looked straight at the old man and said, "You want to tell me why you left that pearl back in the pond, why you gave me CPR with your butt and why the rest of this story is part of a grant for a research proposal throughout different species of bacteria. The grpE, dnak, and dnaJ genes and proteins in C. perfringens and similar species have been isolated in some studies; however, the hrcA gene for C. perfringens has not been isolated(3,4,5). Using other species of bacteria that are closely related there should be a hrcA gene followed by a grpE gene, then a dnak gene, and finally a dnaJ. Using conserved regions in the hrcA gene found in closely related species (Clostridium acetobutylicum, Clostridium difficile, Bacillus subtilius, Bacillus saphaericus) common nucleotide bases should be able to be located and oligonucleotides can be used in a polymerase chain reaction(PCR) to isolate the hrcA operon. The hrcA gene is of such interest because of its effect on the coding of the dnaK gene. Through the study of the hrcA gene expression we can better understand how the dnaK gene is expressed. Others will be able to study the DNA after it has been isolated and grown up in plasmid vectors. The study of how different proteins can bind to the DNA to possibly find a way that the gene would be suppressed in C. perfringens. This could possibly be used as a way to prevent food poisoning. Methodology: I have already done some research on this project during the 2000 Spring semester and during the current semester (2000 Fall). This project will also continue into the 2001 Spring semester and will allow other people to use the HrcA gene clone for different studies. Other experiments will be able to be conducted on the HrcA operon after the clone is obtained. The C. perfringens has already had its genomic DNA (gDNA) extracted |
#2:
his buttons to his trousers come undone and he stands there in shame, like Odysseus in the land of the Phoenicians
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